Emily的作文楼

loverony713

9-17 综合 第一个点第一次听的时候听错了.... 有点沾边但是逻辑意思不对..... 所以.... 哎

In the reading passage, there are causes ofthe formation of Little Ice Age. However, the professor refutes that thosereasons are out of date, and there are new information provided.

First, the reading says it is thedisruption of ocean currents that caused the cooling effect, and Little Ice Ageoccurred. However, the professor argues that the disruption merely exerted cooling effect on the North America, and the reason offered cannot explain the same phenomenon in the south area such as New Zealand(真的不会拼) and South Africa, whichcould also be affected by the Little Ice Age. [第二遍应该听对了吧]

Second, the reading implies that volcaniceruption resulted in the Little Ice age, but the professor totally disagrees with this reason. He says the dust can cause striking visual effects such as the colorful sunlight and snow appeared as brown or grey color instead of whitecolor. However, there were no routinely report for the effect. So, the effectof volcanic eruption did not produce such a strong effect that could lower thetemperature.

Last, the reading believes the tremendous decreases in human population would lead to the cooling effect and result in Little Ice Age. However, the professor argues that people would quickly grow back to the normal level. Also, the forest would be cut in accordance with theincreasing population which needs agriculture. As a result, there would existenough carbon dioxide to keep the Earth warm.

自我反思 字数少 记笔记的习惯不好！！！怎么破！！！！又要fair了么！！

sigrid_shan

反正我来晚了。。。先占个坑开始改


发现有人改的很用心呢额，我的你看看就好，去碎了明儿还上班T，T

cherry6891

loverony713 发表于 2014-9-18 21:06
9.17
独立：人们应该坚持具有挑战性的梦想还是注重实现现实的梦想

人们应该坚持自己有挑战性的梦想还是注重实现现实的梦想

Constantly reaching higher goals should be everyone’s eternal pursuit, and we definitely have various dreams in our long life journeys. Some of them are easy to achieve while others need double or even triple efforts and do not necessarily come into reality. From my perspective, unrealistic dream and practical dream are of the same significance.

Initially, in some circumstance we have to confront the reality which cannot be avoided for everyone. In China, College Entrance Examination is the most appropriate example. Unlike students in other developed countries who can start a business early and strive for it, almost every student in China has to achieve an excellent score in the College Entrance Examination---the unique gateway to success to a large extent. According to a survey conducted by China Daily, nearly 10 billion students attended that examination in 2011. That’s a striking number, right? For the children from impoverished family from（of更通顺吧） the rural area, merely obtaining a decent score can they get(去掉不过guarentee又和下面重复了) guarentee a better education and get rid of poverty. What I want to convey is that, students have no choice but do their utmost to get a higher score---the guarantee of future prospect. Consequently, it is of huge necessity for students to tackle the mere difficulty confidently. Although students have some unrealistic dreams like becoming a spaceman, the priority for him to realize his dream is getting through the gateway---passing the minimum score---of the China's aviation and Aerospace University. In short, sometimes we are obliged to encounter the reality and the only method to be outstanding is （应该加个to吧）conquer it!


On the other hand, I want to talk about the significance of having some unrealistic dreams（挑战性和不切实际不一样吧）.（另外这里是不是也要一个主题句啊？我拟了一个 你看看行不行pursuiting challenge dreams can make life to be an interesting venture and achieve the potential we never know） There is no denying that when we pursue seemingly unrealistic dreams, we tend to work much harder for it. As human nature includes laziness, we tend to relax when we do not have a goal which is difficult to achieve. When chasing unrealistic dreams, it is frustrations and challenges that enables （主谓不一致）people to become increasing mature（感觉increasing累赘 可去掉） and confident. For instance, every year I do my utmost to obtain the first-class scholarship, which is for the most outstanding student. Although the goal seems unachievable, I still have the faith of（have faith in sb/sth固定搭配 已查字典） becoming the most excellent one. Hence I exert tremendous effect on every homework, quiz, paper, research, and definitely final examination. During this process, I have to sacrifice the recreational time with classmates and work harder to catch elites in my class. When finally awarded that honor, I suddenly realized that saying---success is not an event, it is a journey. Thanks to my tough goal, I break the limit of myself over and over.
Furthermore, unrealistic dreams make life more vivid and full of hope. As we are still young, we need to preserve a stream of enthusiasm and stubbornness to go after a difficult target. I believe the motif of an excellent life journey lies in the process of striving. If we find an easy job to do and never try to make some changes in life, how can we really understand the beauty of life which lies in challenges? I used to run a 2400-meter running contest which I was not good at (this sporting item可以去掉就改成定于从句了). However, I would like to challenge my physical limit through the participation. Finally, I finished the 2400-meter running task in front of ( 感觉ahead of 好一点)my friends and parents. I was deeply proud of myself although （even though好一点 表让步 即使）I did not rank in top three. Through the process of going after a hard target, I begin to understand that changes in life is necessary if we do not want to regret for the plainness （是想表达平淡吗 ？）of our life journey in our 60s.
In conclusion, both practical and unrealistic dreams are of the same significance in our life, and we are supposed to fulfill them with huge efforts
比我写的好太多啦 是修改也是学习  结尾是不是有点弱？我也是刚开始准备作文 修改了语法 框架自己还在摸索中 看看有木有牛牛提供框架上的建议吧

PS： 我是打酱油的 楼上修改过再回来学习下

loverony713

cherry6891 发表于 2014-9-18 23:34
人们应该坚持自己有挑战性的梦想还是注重实现现实的梦想

Constantly reaching higher goals should be ev ...

谢谢mm 你可以买本十天突破托福essay... 最简单的办法 也不用看别人咋写的了

cherry6891

loverony713 发表于 2014-9-18 23:46
谢谢mm 你可以买本十天突破托福essay... 最简单的办法 也不用看别人咋写的了
...

好 谢谢妹纸

loverony713

sigrid_shan 发表于 2014-9-18 23:27
反正我来晚了。。。先占个坑开始改

谢谢加油上班犬 噗嗤 大四犬为你喝彩~~！！

loverony713

网不好作文传不上来了。。。先占个坑。。。。。。。

9-18 独立

Now more and more people are spending money on their pets,even though there can be other good ways to spend money.

写的一般 还超时了捶死我吧

echosun2002

It has been publically recognized that pet(the pet, 可数名词不能单独出现) has been increasingly acknowledgedas one of the most essential parts of modernpeople’s life. Although populace’s lifestyle has changed drastically in therecent centuries, the function of domestic animals or pets has not changedmuch, in which, they are human’s eternal friends and companion（复数形式） for all thetime.From my perspective, indeed, there are increasinglyindividualswho are keen on spendingmoney on their pet（pets）, even though that treasure can be utilized in other ways.

Initially, despite various health care products, suchas Nutrilite, have been surging in the market, spending money on pets is abetter way for people to enhance their health.There isno denying that by raising a pet such as a dog, the master definitely need（needs） tospend more time on outdoor activities with their pets. Last year I bought anadorable Teddy bear which has been adding color to the dull routine of everydaylife. Apparently, this lovely creature requires two walks a day---one inmorning and one in evening. So indoorsy I am that I barely went out beforeowning the dog; consequently, my physical fitness has been bothering me.However, after having Luna, the name of my Teddy Bear, I nearly spend three hourswalking with him every day. Smelling the fragrance of grass and the flowers,hearing the twitter of birds, and feeling breeze（the breeze，可数名词） on my face enables(enable,动名词做主语是单数，但是由and连接的多个概念不一样的动名词应该是复数的概念) me topossess a delight（delightful, delight people's mood） mood as well as a robust body. Previously, I used to catch acold easily when feeling a little bit cold, quite a weak person right?Nonetheless, with my persistence of(查了很多资料，觉得还是persistence in walking比较合适，persistence of一般后面接名词表示什么什么的持久性) walking with Luna, I have not suffered fromany disease anymore.

Furthermore, it is pets that provide us (+with)variable andunforgettable emotions which cannot be effortlessly replaced by other commodity.I still remember that several years ago, when my mumtook two little turtles home and told me that they were two new members of our family,I was extremely excited. From then on, I cleaned their jar, fed them and caredabout their growing everyday as if I was(were, 虚拟语气应该用were) their mother. Though I spent a lot ofmy pocket money on buying the fresh shrimp and other necessaries for them, Iwas enjoying the days with them. The happiness and sense of satisfaction fromraising pets far surpassed the money I spent. Moreover, the importance of petsis much more remarkable to some people, who live alone, especially those oldpeople without children. Under this circumstance, the pets are not only pets;they are more likely to be companions to people, in mentally. The scene that aloyal dog accompanies an old man to the end always seems toughing. Therefore,even though it is usually not a small amount of money to raise pets, more andmore people are willing to pay for this in order to achieve the sense ofbelonging, safety and happiness.

In conclusion, it is worthy(worthwhile, it's worthy后面跟名词，或者of+名词，it is worthwhile可以跟to do/doing，表示值得做某事) to spend moneyon raising a pet. In the near future, it could be expected that the importanceof pets would continue to increase, and being(be,这里and应该是连接would后面两个动词continue和be，平行结构动词形态一致) recognized by more people.

loverony713

9-19 ：people should not have to pay for the public transportation.

这种大的话题真心不知道怎么写 唯有看看范文 跪拜一下... 就没有然后了....

chasedreamabc

例子可以再好好想想