for 615

xhbhxhbh

elleven806 发表于 2014-6-9 18:46
tpo25综合
问题修改意见不确定good

谢谢额 你的语法知识很强大啊， 我就是语法太薄弱了  写东西都是靠语感 自己读着顺了 就没管其他的问题了，再次感谢这么认真的修改啊

elleven806

xhbhxhbh 发表于 2014-6-9 19:21
谢谢额 你的语法知识很强大啊， 我就是语法太薄弱了  写东西都是靠语感 自己读着顺了 就没管其他的问题了 ...

我今天下午什么都没做 就在改作文哒 花时间写的 肯定要认真对待哒

超级无敌小鹤鹤

我是企鹅啦，综合改好啦

xhbhxhbh

超级无敌小鹤鹤 发表于 2014-6-9 22:30
我是企鹅啦，综合改好啦

谢谢  ， 周末要考试  各种焦虑啊 。。。。

xhbhxhbh

6.9 独立
People nowadays are attaching more importance to the issue of transportation , especially to the automobiles and airplanes .These days one can just spend several hours  flying to a remote city . Perhaps the invention of airplane improves people's life greatly. Thus some people deems that airplane exert a greater influence on people's life than automobile cars . People seem to fail to take into account some other factors ,such as ticket prices and weather conditons . I am incline to  believe the idea that cars affect people's life more than airplane do . The following discussion reveals my stand and reasoning .

Admittedly ,the invention of airplane realised people's dream to fly in the sky , but it still not affordable to the common families, in other words the ticket price is too high . Like the other day , my father and I  flied to visit my uncle in another city , the tickets alone costed us  nearly 2000RMB, while if we went there by car the fees will cut down by more than a half .However, cars are very affordable and  accessiable to nearly all people . We can spend just 1 RMB to take a bus . If you wish , one can also take a taxi at a reasonable price . A recent survery indicates that in China  ,city residents dependend largely on public transportation ,especially cars ,for their moving . In view of the generally usage of cars , I deem that , cars have a greater influence on humans lives.

When it comes to timing , an increasing number of people are now complaining about the unpunctual  of flights. The latest surveys show that , about 90 precent of flights had been  delayed or canceled  owing to bad weather conditions . Last summer I planed to fly to US to spend a holiday with my friend Mark , however , my flight delayed twice dueing to a current control and the rainstorm .However ,with vehicles I wand have you ever come across such delays frequently  causing by weather conditions . Thus , I prefer to cars rather than airplanes on the condition that  the distant is not that far.


From what has been discussed , I can safely draw to the conclusion that  cars are exert much more paramount influence on peoples' lives. Not only for the affordable prices  , which means even people with the modest income are able to pay for a ticket, but taking cars also gurantee your travells . Though there are still many merits of airplane , all factors taken into a deep consideration , I would conclude that cars influence our lives more.

超级无敌小鹤鹤

xhbhxhbh 发表于 2014-6-10 19:52
谢谢  ， 周末要考试  各种焦虑啊 。。。。

加油，放轻松，藐视它哈哈

yagiliang

祝考试成功

xhbhxhbh

6.12 独立 Parents should help children do their work rather than encouraging them to do the work on their own.

Nowdays , people in growing number attach much more importance
to children's education as the competition awaiting them is fierce and
perhaps only through eduaction can they get a favorable  position in
the job market . To get their children achieve  high scores , parents
are now beginning to assist their kids on their homework  which is
abused by many educational experts who believe that parents should
encourage their children to finish the homework all by themselves.


Though many hold the opinion that  through the help of parents children
can grap more knowledge as parents are always more knowledgeable
than kids which can help the children further understand their learning
materials .However, I am cling to the view that the ability of
independence in the process of learning is more paramonut as it is a
good habit that one should cultivate from an early age,for it'll help in the
later years of his life. Take myself for example , I sitll remember when
I was a young child , I always cried my parents  for help , every time
my father would gladly offered his help , so I was used to the help he
gave .However , when I came across a examination I failed because
there is no one available to  ask for help in a exam . Ever since , I would
learn to do homework all by myself ,though at first it was a little tough  task for me, but with time passed by  ,I learned to solve the problems all by myself , and this habit exert a great influence on my later
study .


Perhaps , parents may help you when they are knowledable enough ,
but  one day they we may gradually realise that parents are not
available to know new knowledge you comeacross as the  science
and technology rapidlly progressing , the knowledge our parents
posessed is totally out-of-date .Take my little sister for example , she
is 5 years old  attending a extra curriculum class , every time she
returns home , with several questions to ask , her parents would be
annoyed as the questions are quite difficulty for them and they haven't come across the question before. Thus , parents sometimes do have
some updated knowledge and can be misleading to their children ,
were they answer the questions that out of their knowlege scope .

From the discussion above , I can safely draw the conclusion that
parents had better not help their kids on their homework as they are
not knowledgeable to be a tutor , what's more , it is pretty vital
for them to form a habit of independence.

超级无敌小鹤鹤

亲，我是企鹅，不要焦虑哈，放轻松，加油，祝考试顺利哟！

xhbhxhbh

超级无敌小鹤鹤 发表于 2014-6-12 23:29
亲，我是企鹅，不要焦虑哈，放轻松，加油，祝考试顺利哟！

谢谢谢谢。。。诶， 最后 了  水平都这样了~~尽情发挥好了~~