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To Josephine Baker, Paris was her home long before it was fashionable to be an expatriate, and she remained in France during the Second World War as a performer and an intelligence agent for the Resistance.

正确答案: D

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[SC悬赏令] OG13 52题 her的redundant问题[已解决]

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楼主
发表于 2013-12-2 12:06:57 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
OG13 #52
To Josephine Baker, Paris was her home long, before it was fashionable to be an expatriate, and she remained in France during the Second World War as a performer and an intelligence agent for the Resistance.
(A) To Josephine Baker, Paris was her home long before it was fashionable to be an expatriate,
(B) For Josephine Baker, long before it was fashionable to be an expatriate, Paris was her home,
(C) Josephine Baker made Paris her home long before to be an expatriate was fashionable,
(D) Long before it was fashionable to be an expatriate, Josephine Baker made Paris her home,
(E) Long before it was fashionable being an expatriate, Paris was home to Josephine Baker,

这题中的A,B选项,OG的解释是:A    To Josephine Baker... her is redundant and awkward; the subject of the first main clause is Paris rather than Baker.
                                               B     For Josephine Baker... her is redundant and awkward; putting two introductory elements together before the main clause is awkward.
我对OG解释的理解是,这里的her指JB's,A选项可以改写成:To Josephine Baker, Paris was Josephine Baker's home...这就是明显的redundant.
我的问题是,选项C,D中Josephine Baker made Paris her home,这里的her有没有冗余?


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来自 11#
发表于 2013-12-8 08:41:44 | 只看该作者
叶晴豆 发表于 2013-12-6 08:14
猴哥终于粗线了哇~
所以猴哥的意思是,并不是her本身造成的redundant,是前面这句话?
那是不是应 ...

其实,比正确句子更“不必要的”复杂和Awkward的,都叫redundant. 这里OG采用了斜体字代表整个前面的句子,所以说的是完整的句子redundant and awkward啦。

这种词,感受一下就好。不必较真。不管是redundant,还是awkward,大意都约等于not concise.

Correct:
Long before it was fashionable to be an expatriate, Josephine Baker made Paris her home, and she remained in France during the Second World War as a performer and an intelligence agent for the Resistance.
沙发
发表于 2013-12-2 14:55:07 | 只看该作者
针对这个点,我之前都没有注意到喔。对于Og的这个解释。不知道有没有讨论过,这个her的存在到底合理不合理,不太清楚。
     不过 To Josephine Baker, Paris was home 确实比有了her 更简洁
      但是Josephine Baker made Paris her home
            or Josephine Baker made Paris home  
           这两个哪一个简洁清晰?
  感觉Josephine Baker made Paris her home 是可以的~~不过没依据。
               
但关于redundant 不是绝对错误,而是相对错误,不能作为排除依据,我的感觉是通常redundant 的出现的时候必定有其他的致命性错误, 也并不一定正确答案完美的100%正确。
屁屁豆不要被redundant 晕掉.....

顶起来,看有没有大牛来解释~~~
板凳
发表于 2013-12-2 23:50:40 | 只看该作者
olivia瓜瓜 发表于 2013-12-2 14:55
针对这个点,我之前都没有注意到喔。对于Og的这个解释。不知道有没有讨论过,这个her的存在到底合理不合理 ...

我不理解A选项哪里错了……求指点……
地板
发表于 2013-12-3 01:19:32 | 只看该作者
suapplle 发表于 2013-12-2 23:50
我不理解A选项哪里错了……求指点……

A is not wrong.
It is just not as good as the best one.

To sb, it is home. Correct
To sb, it is her home. Redundancy.

SVO, and SVO.
S should as parallel as possible.
5#
发表于 2013-12-3 08:25:12 | 只看该作者
suapplle 发表于 2013-12-2 23:50
我不理解A选项哪里错了……求指点……

地板mm+1
6#
发表于 2013-12-6 01:20:55 | 只看该作者
这道题需要看一下完整的OG解释。

OG13-SC-52
To Josephine Baker, Paris was her home long, before it was fashionable to be an expatriate, and she remained in France during the Second World War as a performer and an intelligence agent for the Resistance.
(A) To Josephine Baker, Paris was her home long before it was fashionable to be an expatriate,
(B) For Josephine Baker, long before it was fashionable to be an expatriate, Paris was her home,
(C) Josephine Baker made Paris her home long before to be an expatriate was fashionable,
(D) Long before it was fashionable to be an expatriate, Josephine Baker made Paris her home,
(E) Long before it was fashionable being an expatriate, Paris was home to Josephine Baker,

Rhetorical construction; Parallelism

This compound sentence (consisting of two independent clauses joined by the coordinating conjunction and) would be most clearly expressed if Josephine Baker were the subject of the first clause since she is the subject of the second clause: Josephine Baker made Paris her home would clearly parallel she remained in France. The adverb clause long... expatriate is best placed before the main clause.


A    To Josephine Baker... her is redundant and awkward; the subject of the first main clause is Paris rather than Baker.
B     For Josephine Baker... her is redundant and awkward; putting two introductory elements together before the main clause is awkward.

Q1: A、B解释如何理解?

Answer:
仔细对比黑体字部分就会发现,OG说的不是"her" is redundant and awkward, 而是整个前半部分“To Josephine Baker, Paris was her”. 而redundant的理由正是OG给的general explanation中的这句。
The compound sentence would be most clearly expressed if Josephine Baker were the subject of the first clause.

对于original sentence的结构“PARIS was her home, ... and SHE remained in France ...” OG认为这个结构的写法叫做redundant and awkward。


Q2: 选项C,D中Josephine Baker made Paris her home,这里的her有没有冗余?

Answer: 没有。这个表达很地道。
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-12-6 08:05:34 | 只看该作者
olivia瓜瓜 发表于 2013-12-3 08:25
地板mm+1

来围观猴哥的解答~
8#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-12-6 08:14:06 | 只看该作者
铁板神猴 发表于 2013-12-6 01:20
这道题需要看一下完整的OG解释。

OG13-SC-52

猴哥终于粗线了哇~
所以猴哥的意思是,并不是her本身造成的redundant,是前面这句话?
那是不是应该这样理解:前后两句主语平行的话表达才最为清楚,但是PARIS was her home, ... and SHE remained in France主语并不平行。。。并且To JB, Paris was her...,and she...似乎有两个主语想与she平行所以redundant?我还是不太明白它所说的redundant的点在哪?
那我之前那个理解是不对的吗?
9#
发表于 2013-12-6 08:27:01 | 只看该作者
叶晴豆 发表于 2013-12-6 08:05
来围观猴哥的解答~

来咯来咯
10#
发表于 2013-12-6 08:53:48 | 只看该作者
铁板神猴 发表于 2013-12-6 01:20
这道题需要看一下完整的OG解释。

OG13-SC-52

大师兄
看到猴哥一下子想到了大师兄。
我为什么还是觉得这个点Og想表达的是her 的redundant呢 ?
虽然我对Og的关于her的这个解释很不理解,感觉就算在考场上肯定注意不到这个点的。
不知道大师兄是不是跟我一样,也是觉得如果这里来强调her的 redundant有点不可思议?
但是,
1两句它特别强调了her ,而不是其他词。
2它强调了redundant,而这个主语位置也许应该是 akward?
3用了分号,应该说错的是两个点。
4 再因为当E选项也在表达这and连接的两个主语最好是第二个主语是代词最好与第一个平行,但与AB这里表达不一样。
我是不是钻牛角尖了 大师兄 看看我的思路对不对
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