晓野的野的作文贴【欢迎拍砖】【砖管够】【考前每日一练】

hemodata

晓野的野 发表于 2013-8-18 23:03
8月18日 独立作文
敲了之后草草看了遍就复制word了 好多错别字
拖拖拉拉又到了到现在

1、结构完整，分布均衡，很好！
2、例子有注意到进行普遍化，避免过于薄弱的感觉，很好！

几点我的建议，望讨论
1、In addition那一段，其实从逻辑上来看，是在解释为什么学生的判断不好——因为他们容易抓不住重点，被别的一些因素误导。所以，用in addition不是很对，建议换一个。
2、这篇文章有一个前提：老师们好不好，主要的判断依据是教学技巧，而不是对学生的亲和力。这个前提如果能够先定义出来的话，感觉会更好一些。
3、在普遍化的时候，用in来限定范围是很厉害的。但是可能需要更详细一点，in our lives会有点范围太大，可能in schools where teachers are evaluated by students
4、一个小问题，they在一段里面，尽量指代同一对象。因为段落2中有teachers been evaluated/ other teachers两个不同的范围，如果被评价的老师用they的话，评价他们的老师这个部分最好每次直接写出来，比如the other teachers/ the evaluation team等等

晓野的野

hemodata 发表于 2013-8-19 10:35
1、结构完整，分布均衡，很好！
2、例子有注意到进行普遍化，避免过于薄弱的感觉，很好！

意见提得很中肯啊！
这篇作文字数写的不是很够，写的时候觉得似乎好像没有什么可说的了，其实是根本没有说到呃。
在陈述分论点的时候，要支持总结论，就应该和结论相联系，没有联系的清楚。
还有有的细节根本就没有提到，范围没有说清楚，汗，大而化之了。
把这些写清楚相信逻辑更加清晰，论述也更加完整有力。
受教了呢

晓野的野

8月19日 独立 初稿

文章平淡无奇 语言平凡枯燥
倘若掐着时间写作文的话 写什么都是本能了
关键现在本能还没有训练到足以写出一篇还不错的文章
【远目】 sigh 改作文去了

Nowadays, people are all trying their best to pursue success. Many characteristics or personalities have great influences on success. When it comes to the statement that people should be more like others than be different from everyone else, some people totally agree with it, arguing that similarities can avoid conflictions, which do harm to success. In my point of view, however, I disagree with such statement. Three reasons in different respects will be demonstrated and explained to support my idea.

In the first place, being different with other people means different ideas, which are crucial for success and can make big differences on future careers. In order to be success, such as establishing a company, making a lot of money or realizing your dreams, you need to have a lot of different ideas, which can give you a new sight of this world, leading to a good way to realize a goal or a solution to a problem. Take my best friend Tony, who is a CEO of a national company, as an example. His company faced a serious crisis last year. No one could come up with a good solution and the company might suffer a big loss if nobody could offer solutions. At this very point, Tony though out an idea and finally the problem was solved. As a matter of fact, the solution was very easy, but why no one could think out it. The stuffs in Tony's company had same major except Tony. However, this solution needed some knowledge related to this major. This case is not rare in real life. Therefore we can draw the conclusion that

In the second place, success need more chances to show your abilities and being different means that you can have more opportunities than other people who have no special characteristics since differences make you stand out. Assuming that a company plan to hire a employee, you are one of the applier. If you are similar with other people, there is no reason for the company to choose you instead of other people since you more almost the same. On the contrary, you have different personalities, which the company thinks it is necessary for the future development of the company. There is no doubt that you are more likely to be hired.

To sum up, people can get more chances by differences from others. Moreover, it is obvious that difference make you look more attractive than other people who just look the same as each other. Therefore, I cannot emphasize the importance of the difference too much. So I do not think the statement mentioned above is right.

晓野的野

　网上找了篇文章 找点思路咯

  In order to succeed you should not try to be like others. It is more important to be unique and separate yourself from the crowd. If a person always tries to fit in then they will never truly find success, because success requires new and independent ideas and imitating others will impede creative ideas. Many successful businessmen were independent thinkers who had ideas that were new, bold, and different. It is this kind of vision and foresight which is pivotal to success.

　　When Bill Gates first started Microsoft he had a vision that the personal computer would change the face of technology. It was a unique idea which no other person had ever imagined before. Many believed he was crazy, laughing at the thought of humans spending so much time and energy in front of an electronic device. Others could not understand exactly what the purpose of a computer was. This was precisely why Gates found the idea so compelling. The personal computer was created without any specific purpose; it could be used for an infinite amount of things and applied to all facets of life. This was Bill Gates’ daring and unique vision. If he had tried to be like others Gates would never have dropped out of school to start his company. He would have followed the more common path and the results would have been much more mediocre.

　　If you want to stand out, you must be different. Many people work in a company and do their best to fit in and follow the rules. Though order and hierarchy exist to streamline work and create efficiency it is important to make yourself stand out. If you always do your work quietly then you will never be noticed by your superiors. The better tactic is to stand up and let your presence be known to those around you. Perhaps a person may feel their ideas are too strange or unacceptable, that they fly against the company culture or in the face of current logic. But these different and strange ideas are the ones that are most important. They are the ideas that will set you apart from your colleagues and peers. From these ideas new ways of thinking will arise. As a result new and potentially groundbreaking ideas will be born. It is important not to squelch these ideas, but to cultivate them.

　　Do not be afraid to be different. Success comes to those that stand out from the crowd, not from those that follow. Bill Gates and other successful businessmen have all made fortunes from ideas that were different and new. They believed in themselves and they knew that doing the same things will only bring the same results. To truly find success you should not try to fit in, you should take advantage of your differences.

via 网上

晓野的野

困了碎叫去 明儿个还得起呢
改了两段
真真不如重写啊啊啊

Nowadays, people are all trying their best to pursue success. Many characteristics or personalities have great influences on success. When it comes to the statement that people should be more like others than be different from everyone else, some people totally agree with it, arguing that similarities can avoid conflictions, which do harm to success. In my point of view, however, I disagree with such statement. Three reasons in different respects will be demonstrated and explained to support my idea.

When it comes to the topic about success, many people have a debate on whether similarities or differences are more important for success. Some people believe that people who are more like others have more chances to succeed. However, other people disagree. In my point of view, I strongly believe that it is differences that matters more in success. People should not be afraid to be different and to show their good characteristics or special skills.  Several reasons in different respects will be demonstrated and explained to support my idea.

In the first place, being different with other people means different ideas, which are crucial for success and can make big differences on future careers. In order to be success, such as establishing a company, making a lot of money or realizing your dreams, you need to have a lot of different ideas, which can give you a new sight of this world, leading to a good way to realize a goal or a solution to a problem. Take my best friend Tony, who is a CEO of a national company, as an example. His company faced a serious crisis last year. No one could come up with a good solution and the company might suffer a big loss if nobody could offer solutions. At this very point, Tony though out an idea and finally the problem was solved. As a matter of fact, the solution was very easy, but why no one could think out it. The stuffs in Tony's company had same major except Tony. However, this solution needed some knowledge related to this major. This case is not rare in real life. Therefore we can draw the conclusion that

In the first place, it is universally acknowledged that people who are unique are more likely to come up with different ideas and different ideas are crucial for success. No one can deny that different ideas—a new sight to evaluate the world—always lead to a good way to solve a problem or achieve a goal. People, who want to become successful, must pay particular attention to be different. Take my friend Tony, who is my best friend, as an example. He is a stuff in a international company, working in a marketing department. When his company faced a serious crisis last year, no one but Tony came up with a good solution, attracting CEO’s eye. Finally the crisis was eliminated and the loss was avoided. Why only Tony could think out a solution despite that the solution is quite easy. That’s because only Tony had knowledge that other people did not interest in and never thought about. This case is not rare in real life. So that we can safely draw the conclusion that different and independent think are necessary for success.                                          

In the second place, success need more chances to show your abilities and being different means that you can have more opportunities than other people who have no special characteristics since differences make you stand out. Assuming that a company plan to hire a employee, you are one of the applier. If you are similar with other people, there is no reason for the company to choose you instead of other people since you more almost the same. On the contrary, you have different personalities, which the company thinks it is necessary for the future development of the company. There is no doubt that you are more likely to be hired.

To sum up, people can get more chances by differences from others. Moreover, it is obvious that difference make you look more attractive than other people who just look the same as each other. Therefore, I cannot emphasize the importance of the difference too much. So I do not think the statement mentioned above is right.

晓野的野

8月25日 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.

When people get tired of doing their tasks or homework, people switch to do some other things to get relaxation. Some people prefer to relax by watching TV or reading a book, while others prefer to do some physical exercise to get relaxed. As far as I am concerned, it is better to relax by the former way. Obviously, the advantages of watching a movie or reading a book to get relaxed outnumber those of doing physical exercise. Several points in different respects will be demonstrated and explained to support my point of view.

First of all, the key point of getting relaxed is to switching your concentration from the work you get tired of to some other things that you are interested in or make you feel relieved. Watching a movie or reading a book will make use of your brain and fill your brain with other things. What you have to do is only to get the information from the movie or books. Movies and books are so interesting that you enjoy them a lot. On the contrary, taking exercise physically does not mean that you can get relaxation mentally. Even if you are doing physical exercise, you can till always think about things bothering you and therefore you still can not relax yourselves well.

In the second place, getting relaxed means doing some things that can make you feel relieved instead of making you feel tired. It is very convenient to read a book or watch a movie with your cell phone or Pad so you can enjoy reading a book or watching a movie whenever and wherever. However, taking exercise is complex since you have to wear sports clothes first and then go to the playground or the central park which is far from your home. After exercise you also need to take a shower. However, sometimes your situation does not allow you take exercise.

Admittedly, physical exercise is a good way to build up a healthy lifestyle and does good to your health. However, what we are discussing is a issue about the relaxation not a issue about the healthy life style. Exercise even make you feel entirely tired, bring more pressure to you. A survey conducted by a prestigious US research institution, after investigation 2000 people who have taken exercise to relax themselves, has shown that 70 percent of them feel tired and become even more stressed out after exercise. In fact this case is not rare in our life. So we can safely draw the conclusion that exercise has limited effect on relaxation.

To sum up, reading a book or watching a movie will attract your attention and switch your concentration to some other things that can relax you. Also, it is easier to read a book or watch a movie. Therefore, compared with doing exercise, reading a book or watching a movie is undoubtedly a better way to get relaxation.

晓野的野

8月21日 独立
修改了又修改 问题依然存在
内容平铺直述
语句简单#简直就是个老大难问题#
因为修改之后又加了些内容 字数有些多了
Getting to know each other is crucial for the relationship of people, for the career of future, and for the development of the society and I cannot emphasize the importance of knowing people too much. As people nowadays increasingly spend time reading books or watch movies, we cannot deny that books and movies can have great influence on the personalities of people. So when it comes to the statement that we can learn another person from books and movies the person like, I cannot agree with it any more. Several reasons in different respects will be demonstrated and explained in the passage to support my point of view.

First of all, books people often read and movies people like to watch are key signals to reflect people’s hobbies and habits. Having a good understanding of people's hobbies and habits, we can know people more. Take my best friend Tony who is a big fan of arts as an example. Every time I go to his house, I can find some new books, which are some professional books about the history of arts, the development of arts, famous artists of America, etc. From that I know he is fond of arts. Moreover, I get to know that he is the kind of person who is always willing to help others as long as he can, for he likes movies about heroes and he becomes very excited if the world is protected by heroes. This case is not rare in our daily life. So the common conclusion drawn from this example is that it is reliable to know someone from his or her favorite books or movies.

In the second place, books and movies can shape the personalities of people. Just as the old saying goes, you are what you read. In my experience, I used to be easy to become very angry or upset since I am not good at control my awful emotions. Therefore, I began to read a book named Get Away From Your Bad Mood. To my surprise, I become calm even if something unexpected happened. A survey conducted by a prestigious US research institution, after investigating 2290 people’s personalities after reading books or watching movies, has shown that people’s personalities have a direct relationship with the contents of books or movies.

Admittedly, there is no doubt that the way to know someone from the books or movies s/he likes has some limitations. Therefore, we cannot learn all the personalities from books or movies. However, even if sometimes the books and movies cannot straightly tell us what kind of people they are, books and movies can still give us indirect clues, from which we can search more about people.

To sum up, books and movies people like are very helpful for us to learn about other people. They can reflect people's hobby and habits, which are necessary for us to understand others. Moreover, our personalities can be greatly influenced and shaped by movies and books and therefore getting to know the books and movies is getting to know the characteristics of people. For these reasons, I agree with the idea that we can learn people from books and movies they like.

晓野的野

8月22日 独立

今天被气坏了，今天也有开心的事情发生
苦恼的事情很多呢
我不知道我手里的这一副牌到底是好牌还是坏牌
但是既然在我的手里了，就是我的牌
所以，即使，哪怕，它很糟糕，那么，也努力的把它打好

Nowadays our government plans to build art museums and music performance centers, and recreational devices. Considering that the money is limited, the government has to make a choice between art museums and music performance centers and recreational devices. Some people argue that the government should choose to build art museums and music performance center because art museums and music performance center are obviously important than recreational devices. However, I cannot agree with such statement. Several reasons in different respects will be demonstrated and explained to support my point of view.

First of all, we can judge the importance of some issues by considering about the influence that they can have on people. It universally acknowledged that keeping fit is quite crucial for people. Because of the fast development of the society and economy, people have less and less time to spend in recreational exercise. So it is necessary for the government to help people establish a healthy lifestyle. A survey conducted by a prestigious American research institution, after investigating 38 cities about the healthy condition of people and recreational devices, has shown that there is a positive relationship between the number of recreational devices and the healthy condition of people. So we can draw the conclusion that the more we build recreational devices, the healthier people will be.

In the second place, compared with art museums and music performance center, recreational devices attract more people's attention. The more attention some issues can get, the more important the issues will be. There are an art museums and a swimming pool in my city. Everyday, especially in summer, the swimming pool is always full of people. On the contrary, people hardly go to the art museum because people do not show too much interest in it. This case is not rare in our country. So given that example, I don't think museums or music performance center are more than recreational devices.

Admittedly, art museums or music centers play an important role in our life. They provide us with a chance to enjoy arts or music. However, when it comes to the statement that they are more important than recreational devices, I cannot agree. The reasons are obvious: people engage in recreational activities more than in arts activities; people show more interests in recreation devices than in art museums or music centers. Recreational devices not only relax people but also help people keep fit. The advantages of recreational devices surely outnumber the advantages of art museums and music centers.

To sum up, for those reasons mentioned above. There is no doubt that recreational devices are more important than art museums or music centers.

晓野的野

8月23日 独立

As cities in today’s world grow rapidly those decades, a lot of changes shows up in our society: the unemployed rates have been reduced; more children can get educational activities; our living standards have been greatly increased. However, there are also some disadvantages due to the rapid growth of cities such as pollutions. So a debate which has been brought into the focus of the public is that whether the rapid growth of societies is a mostly positive development for the society. When it comes to me, I strongly argue that such growth is a mostly positive development for the society. Here are my reasons.

First of all, it is universally acknowledged that living standard is a crucial indicator for us to evaluate the development of our society. As the cities keep a rapid growth, the living standard has been greatly improved. I still remember how dirty and crowded the city where I lived was ten years ago. Many poor families were even not able to afford their foods. However, everything has changed now. With the rapid growth of cities, our city becomes tidy and clean. Food scarcities no longer are problems of people. People spend money for a healthy lifestyle. This case is not rare in the development of the society. Thus we can safely draw the conclusion that the growth of cities has great influence on the development of the society.

In the second place, another necessary indicator of good development of the society is education. Many years ago, the ratio of the educated population remained in a low level. After the rapid growth of societies, the government can gather more tax from the rapid growth and fund more schools, which greatly encourage children to go to school. A survey conducted by a prestigious US educational research institution, after investigating children from 8 big cities, has shown that such radio has been improved by 52 percent. That's why I think the rapid growth can positively affect the development of our society.

Admittedly, the rapid growth of cities also brings some troubles such as environmental pollution. As a matter of fact, this problem is undeniable during fast growth and the government makes efforts to eliminate the disadvantages in pollutions. Obviously, the advantages of the rapid growth outweigh the disadvantages.

To sum up, the development of the society benefits a lot from the rapid growth of cities. I cannot emphasize to importance of the role played by such growth in the development too much. For the reasons I mentioned above, there is no deny that the rapid growth mostly does good to the development of the society.

我...........这.............

Mint静默

晓野什么时候考试呀

不好意思，小插一楼