从12.19起, Liz 回来了, 这次要求很低,作文只要30分! 不要29~ 求亲们狠批~

brace1016

补上20号的。

Helping others is a virtue that we Chinese people have been cherishing. Now, here comes a hot-bottom issue towards whether young people today are more likely to give others a hand than young generations in the past. From my perspective, nowadays few young people do others a favor due to several inevitable ingredients.











To begin with, modern society emphasizes too much on money(,) individuals tend to connect almost all things with higher reward(,) so the unhealthy value influences the young generation in some extent.(这个是run-on句子吧，逗号不能连接两个没有逻辑关系的句子吧，你之前那篇我改的也是这样哦。你注意下哦，这个句子从语法上modern society emphasizes so much on money that individuals tend to connect almost all things with higher reward. SO----) To make my viewpoint more compelling, I would like to take a realistic case as an example. In 1950s, China was under the way of development (,) our country was not rich and residents had not been impacted by the values of capitalism from Western world too much. My uncle told me that if any of his friends were in plight, he would try his best to help them without hesitation at that time. They didn’t care the salary or their own exhausted physical vigor(,逗号不能连接两个独立的句子哦) the genuine friendship was their powerful spiritual support. However, we cannot see this picture now any more. The fast pace of our daily life has casted shadow on the pure relationship among young people. They don’t want to contribute themselves on something without a considerable benefit. All in all, helping others frequently is a minor probability now.











Moreover, lacking of trust is also an indispensible factor to this event. With the development of technology, the phenomenon that illegal technological tools are used to cheat citizens is not new any more. The mass media always reports these negative events, so young people become more cautious to strangers. Sometimes, it is not that we are not willing to give others a hand butthe worse reality discourages our friendly behavior.This doubtable society causes the current situation rather than human beings’ nature. But it is an undeniable fact that young inhabitants now are less likely to assist other. BUT的作用是什么呢





（红色句子我感觉有点别扭，用强调句你觉得顺吗。 It is the doubtable society rather than human beings’ nature causes the current situation. ）





Finally, one more thing I want to mention is that fierce competition in our working environment also plays a role in such an unoptimistic aspect. When competition appears, we will pay more attention to protect our own interests, I believe nobody expect to be beaten by co-workers in their career. In order to acquire more hands-on advantages, the young has(have) to be cold to their colleagues, if they confide their opinions directly and help their enemies in office, maybe they will be in an unfavorable position.











Given all of these elements I illustrated above, I firmly believe that young generation now do less to help others than those in the past. This unhealthy situation is mixed with various aspects. If these barriers can be conquered, we still can see a promising scene in the future.











对了，和你讨论下逗号的用法。我感觉你用逗号连接两个独立的句子很频繁。你注意下。这篇文章观点明确，论证很给力。


















TPO 15综合写作，
The listening and the reading uphold（好词，学习了）totally opposite perspectives toward the thorny issue that whether these methods are effective to prevent the spread of the cane toad. The professor illustrates that the measures in the article will not obtain an ideal result, and then he rises three points to support his viewpoint.











To begin with, the lecturer contradicts the statement in the passage, which indicates that building a national fence will stop the vicious cycle. In addition, the author in the article also says that this way- building a fence-is successful in the past. （直接用不行吗，）However, the presenter demonstrates that this method cannot a perfect one, because young cane toad and eggs are in streams, no matter where the fence is established, they will get through the fence from one side to the other side. Moreover, water way also carries the toad eggs and young cane toad to other place. Therefore, building a fence cannot work.











Furthermore, the speaker casts doubt on the second measure in the reading, which suggests that volunteer can capture and destroy the toads. He demonstrates that the massive untrained volunteer cannot tell the cane toad apart from the Australia native toad which some are endangered when they are young. On the contrary, volunteer will cause damage to native species instead of benefiting the ecosystem.











Finally, regarding developing the disease-causing virus to control the cane toad population, the instructor disagrees with the suggestion. He says that this advice will have terrible consequent for the key toads in the original habitat. The reptile and amphibian in Australia are often transported to other continent by researchers and pet collectors. Once the infected animals reach Center of South America, the virus will attack native key toads and influence their populations. As a result, it will be an ecological disaster, because American native species are a part of ecosystem, we should limit to use virus as an alternative.











我对你的综合佩服入滔滔江水。那么细节都记下来。我的要能把要点记住就不错了。你怎么做到的呢？听力功底强硬啊。

brace1016

Friend is an intangible asset（好词）in our whole life, and a great many individuals have been expecting to make new friends as many as possible. Now, here comes a thorny issue towards which way is the best for students to make new friends. Different people from various backgrounds uphold totally different viewpoint, such as joining a sports team, participating in community activities or travelling. From my perspective, travelling outweighs over the former two factors.（你都直接出来你的观点了，第二段那里是什么作用？）











First of all, we should make a general consideration about what element is vital for making a new friend. Then we will analyze why human beings are more likely to be close to others. My opinion will be supported by detailed illustrations as following.（这段放在这里是干嘛用的。你的观点不是有travelling outweigh其他了吗? 我还是不明白。）











Time is a good time for us to release our mental stress, and we also will（我百度出来是also放在will，be之后的）feel free to talk or discuss some intriguing topics. I believe nobody will have a trip when he or she is very busy, travelling generally will be planed during the short or long holidays when they feel less stressed. In fact, in such a relaxed situation, people usually like to share or chat something with strangers. Since people don’t need to care about the tedious or heavy work in their daily schedule, the only thing they need to consider is to enjoy the beautiful day. Therefore, it is no wonder that a variety of individuals can make lovely friends during their journey. These extrinsic and objective ingredients create a basic platform to make friends.











Strangers can leave more mysterious impressions on persons.（这句号什么意思?） As a result, new comers will be more attractive for counterparts. This element also makes a crucial contribution to develop friendship each other. To make my view more compelling, I would like to take my own experience as an example. Last year, when I was travelling in Las Vegas, I was curious about every thing, including the new surroundings and travelers around me. At that time, I met a senior couple in a public bus who came from Liaoning, China. After I talked with them, I found them knew many things in the world, and they also shared feelings in the tour. In addition, since we had different standpoints and experiences in our own life, I was extremely glad to discuss those I didn’t know. The man had rich knowledge and profound insights, which attracted me so much. I think that maybe the magic magnetism among strangers, so we are more easily to accept this kind of friends.(这段我论证我感觉不是很明白。首先中心句我就不明白，例子写得很好。)











Plight can also create favorable situation for us to know each other better and cut down the destination between two unfamiliar hearts. When we are taking a vacation, it is an inevitable case（去掉感觉更好）that we will meet some problems, for example, lost in a metropolis or wallet is stolen. In this situation, we always look forward to receiving others’ help immediately. It is true that the solid wall in our heart will be broken by others’ kind-hearted assistance. Meanwhile, new friendship can be built up as well.（例子很好。能深入说明友谊怎么升华更好哦）

Given all these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly believe that traveling is a top priority for us to make new partners. It is undeniable that both extrinsic and intrinsic elements facilitate the communication and strength the relationships among strangers. Hence, next time, why not take a journey to enlarge our social networks?





实在不明白第二段是什么的作用哦。你的中心句子写得有点含蓄。我都是要想领悟才能明白。感觉老美的思维应该是比较直接的。所以你琢磨下次能不能直接抛出你的中心句。文章的言语好的没有话说。运用英语的能力超级强。我自己的表达很不地道。我发现你的词汇量很大，我用来用去都是四级词汇。

brace1016

22号综合

The listening and the reading uphold totally opposite perspectives toward the impacts which accompany with the steady growth of the human population and corresponding increase in agriculture and pesticide use. The professor illustrates that the argument in the article is completely unconvincing. Then she lists three points to support her standpoints.

To begin with, the lecturer contradicts the statement in the passage, which indicates that birds' natural habitat will continue to disappear as human population expand. She demonstrates that even though urban growth has bad influence on some types of animals, it will create better and larger habitat for other types. For example, animals, such as seagull, pigeon, rodents(请帮忙指出这单词究竟是个啥阿,知道是一种鼠,忘拼写了,囧) and so on, will increase because predators like hocks cannot be found in the city, as we know, hocks will prey pigeons and rodents. Therefore, maybe some populations will shrink, other populations will grow.(黄色部分不准，应该是城市甚至都出现了predators，它们吃那些pigeon and rodents)

Moreover, the speaker casts doubt on the second opinion in the article, which suggests that bird populations will decline as the growing human population will cause further destruction of bird habitat. She explains that the speed of human's population will not expand soon as the reading described. In fact, Americans use less land every year now. Instead, people develop new productive crops which will produce more food per unit of land. As a result, we don't need to destroy other areas for agriculture.

Finally, the presenter points out that the author's view is unwarranted about chemical pesticides. She makes the points that it is imprudent to predicate the process of increasing pesticides in the near future. Actually, people now are aware of the damage, and there are two changes occur. First, new and less poisons（这里加个pesticide）are developed, this change is important for a better result. Second, there has a trend to use pest-resist crops which are genetically designed. Hence, famers reduce the use of toxic chemical pesticides. What’s more, the new way doesn’t hurt the birds at all.
综合真的强大，那么多的细节都听到了。满分的作文哦


综合真的强大，那么多的细节都听到了。满分的作文哦

lizchang1990

23 December
Independent Writing: Is there a good reason to be impolite(rude) to another person?
Integrated Writing: TPO 18

Courtesy is a virtue that a great many people have been appreciating. Now, here comes a thorny issue towards whether we have a good reason to be impolite to others. From my perspective, in some cases, there are several inevitable reasons for us to be rude to another person.

When other individuals are challenging our toleration and annoying us all the time, being ill-mannered to them cannot be scolded. To make my standpoint more compelling, I would like to take my own experience as an example. My roommate Jane always called her boyfriend over line every night. At first, I could understand her feelings and didn’t complain about this matter. Later, talking with her boyfriend until midnight had become her normal behavior. Since I was preparing my GMAT test at that time, I was exhausted every day, and I couldn’t tolerate such noise any more. One night, I told her my depressed feelings and advised her to be quiet, but she just ignored my suggestions. Then, I was furious and quarreled with her. I knew my behavior would destroy our friendship. However, I had no choice but to be rude to her. In this situation, I consider it will be a good excuse to be impudent to others.

Another indispensible situation I prefer to refer is that under the emergencies we should consider the vital thing as top priority instead of keeping courteous result to ineffective consequence. For instance, when we see a senior person fall down or someone is run down by a car. Do you have enough time to ask others around the street for help impolitely? Will you keep silent when others are cold to such an emergency? If you are denounced the group who is indifferent about life, you should be praised rather than being rebuked. Hence, gruff character in this kind of case should be understood.

Admittedly, discourteous manners are usually regarded as the result of lacking good education, because most people tend to believe that educated individuals should learn how to control their emotions all the time. However, I completely disprove this perspective. In my view, under some necessary occasions, normal impudent response is more crucial than surface good manner. Only when we show rude behavior in a proper case can we win others’ understanding, even positive support.

Given these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly believe that there are many appreciated factors can explain our ill-mannered actions. When we draw a clear distinction between insignificant bad temper and meaningful impolite manner, we will win other persons’ respect.

1369179610

23 December
Independent Writing: Is there a good reason to be impolite(rude) to another person?
Integrated Writing: TPO 18

Courtesy is a virtue that a great many people have been appreciating. Now, here comes a thorny issue towards whether we have a good reason to be impolite to others. From my perspective, in some cases, there are several inevitable reasons for us to be rude to another person.

When other individuals are challenging our toleration and annoying us all the time, being ill-mannered to them cannot be scolded. To make my standpoint more compelling, I would like to take my own experience as an example. My roommate Jane always called her boyfriend over line every night. At first, I could understand her feelings and didn’t complain about this matter. Later, talking with her boyfriend until midnight had become her normal behavior. Since I was preparing my GMAT test at that time, I was exhausted every day, and I couldn’t tolerate such noises any more. One night, I told her my depressed feelings and advised her to be quiet, but she just ignored my suggestions. Then, I was furious and quarreled with her. I knew my behavior would destroy our friendship. However, I had no choice but to be rude to her. In this situation, I consider it will be a good excuse to be impudent to others.

Another indispensible situation I prefer to refer is that under the emergencies we should consider the vital thing as top priority instead of keeping courteous result to ineffective consequence. For instance, when we see a senior person（elderly） falling down or someone is（being） run down by a car. Do you have enough time to ask others around the street for help impolitely? Will you keep silent when others are cold to such an emergency? If you are denounced the group who is indifferent about life, you should be praised rather than being rebuked. Hence, gruff character in this kind of case should be understood.

Admittedly, discourteous manners are usually regarded as the result of lacking good education, because most people tend to believe that educated individuals should learn how to control their emotions all the time. However, I completely disprove （disagree with）this perspective. In my view, under some necessary occasions, normal impudent response is more crucial than surface（superficial） good manner. Only when we show rude behavior in a proper case（properly） can we win others’ understanding, even positive support.

Given these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly believe that there are many appreciated factors which can explain our ill-mannered actions. When we draw a clear distinction between insignificant bad temper and meaningful impolite manner, we will win other persons’ respect.

写的很棒啊~~~有很多可借鉴的地方，学习一下。 继续加油吧~

1369179610

写的非常好啊~有很多亮点和可以借鉴的地方~~膜拜一下~注意词使用的准确性。

1369179610

22 December
Independent Writing: Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends. a. joing a sports team, b. participate in community activities, or traveling
Integrated Writing: TPO17

Friend is an intangible（这个是贬义词，不是中性词） asset in our whole life（friend is the best possession at all times.）, and a great many individuals have been expecting to make new friends as many as possible. Now, here comes a thorny issue, towards which way is the best for students to make new friends?Different people from various backgrounds uphold totally different viewpoints, such as joining a sports team, participating in community activities or travelling. From my perspective, travelling outweighs over the former two factors.(methods)

First of all, we should make a general consideration about what element is vital for making a new friend. Then we will analyze why human beings are more likely to be close to others. My opinion will be supported by following detailed illustrations as .(不建议这么写啊~直接列观点)

Leisure time is a good time for us to release our mental inner stress, and we also will feel free to talk or discuss some intriguing topics. I believe nobody will have a trip when he or she is very busy, travelling generally will be planned during the short or long holidays when they feel less stressed. In fact, in such a relaxed situation, people usually like to share or chat something with strangers. Since people don’t need to care about the tedious or heavy work in their daily schedule, the only thing they need to consider is to enjoy the beautiful day. Therefore, it is no wonder that a variety of individuals can make lovely friends during their journey. These extrinsic and objective ingredients create a basic platform to （create a crucial base to）make friends.

Strangers can leave more mysterious impressions on persons. As a result, new comers will be more attractive for counterparts. This element also makes a crucial contribution to develop friendship between each other. To make my view more compelling, I would like to take my own experience as an example. Last year, when I was travelling in Las Vegas, I was curious about every thing, including the new surroundings and travelers around me. At that time, I met a senior couple in a public bus who came from Liaoniang, China. After I talked with them, I found them knew many things in the world, and they also shared feelings in the tour. In addition, since we had different standpoints and experiences in our own life, I was extremely glad to discuss those I didn’t know. The man had rich knowledge and profound deep insights, which attracted me so much. I think that maybe the magic magnetism among strangers, so we are more easily to accept this kind of friends.(陌生人之间有神秘的吸引力~的确是这样啊，非常新颖的观点~~很棒。)

Plight can also create favorable situation for us to know each other better and cut down the destination between two unfamiliar hearts.（carry the two unfamiliar hearts close to each other） When we are taking a vacation, it is an inevitable case that we will meet some problems, for example, lost in a metropolis or wallet is stolen. In this situation, we always look forward to receiving others’ help immediately. It is true that the solid wall in our heart will be broken by others’ kind-hearted assistance. Meanwhile, new friendship can be built up as well.

Given all these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly believe that traveling is a top priority for us to make new partners（friends）. It is undeniable that both extrinsic and intrinsic elements facilitate the communications and strengthen the relationships among strangers. Hence, next time, why not take a journey to enlarge our social networks?

liz很用心啊~~看到了很多很不错的表达~ 加油哦~~~

lizchang1990

24 December
Independent Writing: Is it easier to maintain good health than in the past?
Integrated Writing: TPO 19

Health is like a precious intangible asset that a great many people have been expecting, because good health can benefit us a lot. Now, here comes a thorny issue towards whether nowadays is easier for individuals to keep fit than past. From my perspective, residents in the past are more likely to be healthy.

To begin with, it is an undeniable fact that the development of modern technologies and sciences creates a nightmare for us. Even though it is very convenient now for citizens to do what they want and go where they prefer, meanwhile these advancements have had a huge negative influence on our daily life. For example, the air is polluted by car’s exhaust, the water is contaminated by industries’ chemical waste and the roads are crowded with hundreds of thousands of vehicles. On the contrary, several decades ago, people didn’t need to care about such problems, they didn’t have to worry about these potential risks would take their lives away. Obviously, from the aspect of environment, people can access to better and healthy life easily in the past.

Moreover, all of shelves in each supermarket are full of fast food with a large number of additives, and these canned food threaten our life every day. According to an official nationwide survey among more than 20 provinces in 2011 in China, most restaurants used recycle cooked oil to cook the food. This event also caused a variety of residents start to pay attention on the problem about health. In addition, in this year Mcdonald’s was reported to add red pigment into the fried chicken. It is these threats abound us that we cannot have a healthy situation to keep fit. Hence, we can see that being fine is hard for modern individuals.

Admittedly, nowadays we have a lot of convenient infrastructures and exercise device for citizens in the public places, but it doesn’t mean that people can be fit. In the past, employees hadn’t tons of work to do; they just did some basic and easier job. However, now people need to handle many obstacles and work under the high pressure, because more international organizations bring heavier workload to each employee. To them, those exercise devices like a colorful bubble, which only is been watched instead of touching. These extrinsic factors lead to a poor physical situation. And it also the reason why nearly 15 percentages of leaders have obesity, cardiovascular, high blood pressure, diabetes and so on, but if residents can relax themselves frequently and have less stress, I do believe they will have a healthy life.

Given all these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly assert that citizens in the past can live better. Only when our surroundings become clear, more organic food are provided and less workload for employees can we keep fit easily.

lizchang1990

TPO 19 综合
The listening and the reading uphold completely opposite perspectives towards a new marketing tactic -buzzing. The speaker, Bill, illustrates that the statement in the article about buzzer is incorrect. Then he points out three aspects from his experience to support his standpoints.

To begin with, the lecturer distracts the argument in the passage, which indicates that buzzer is paid to praise the product and give a person incorrect information about the buzzed product. He demonstrates that company usually hires those who have used their products and think the cellphone is good. In fact, they are not paid to tell a lie. On the contrary, people can get the true information from buzzer.

Moreover, the presenter casts light on the second claim in the reading, which suggests that consumers just listen to buzzers' endorsements less critically than they should. As a result, buzzers' lobbies will really harm consumers. However, Bill asserts that the opposite is true. Actually, people often ask a lot of questions about the products, such as the price, service and how long the buzzer has used it. If the buzzer cannot provide a satisfying answer, consumers will not but the cellphone

Finally, the instructor regards the third point in the article as stupid, because the passage advocates that buzzing is likely to have a harmful effect on social relationships. Bill explains that if the product is bad, corporation will not hire buzzers to advertize their cellphone. It turns out that if consumers try to buy the product and get a good experience, then they will trust the buzzers more and boost a virtuous cycle in the society.

In sum, the speaker discerns the drawbacks of the reading passage and takes one more step to reveal that the fallacies need a close scrutiny.

vanessa923

惯例。

Health is like a precious intangible asset that a great many people have been expecting, because good health can benefit us a lot. Now, here comes a thorny issue towards whether nowadays is easier for individuals to keep fit than past. From my perspective, residents in the past are more likely to be healthy.

To begin with, it is an undeniable fact that the development of modern technologies and sciences creates a nightmare for us. Even though it is very convenient now for citizens to do what they want and go where they prefer, meanwhile these advancements have had a huge negative influence on our daily life. For example, the air is polluted by car’s exhaust, the water is contaminated by industries’ chemical waste and the roads are crowded with hundreds of thousands of vehicles. On the contrary, several decades ago, people didn’t need to care about such problems, （and）they didn’t have to worry about these potential risks would take their lives away. Obviously, from the aspect of environment, people can access to better and healthy life easily in the past.

Moreover, all of shelves in each supermarket are full of fast food with a large number of additives, and these canned food threaten our life every day. According to an official nationwide survey among more than 20 provinces in 2011 in China, most restaurants used recycle cooked oil to cook the food. This event also caused a variety of residents start to pay attention on the problem about health. In addition, in this year Mcdonald’s was reported to add red pigment into the fried chicken. It is these threats abound（非及物动词） us that we cannot have a healthy situation to keep fit. Hence, we can see that being fine is hard for modern individuals.

Admittedly, nowadays we have a lot of convenient infrastructures and exercise device for citizens in the public places, but it doesn’t mean that people can be fit. In the past, employees hadn’t tons of work to do; they just did some basic and easier job. However, now people need to handle many obstacles and work under the high pressure, because more international organizations bring heavier workload to each employee. To them, those exercise devices like a colorful bubble, which only is been watched instead of touching. (有点confusing）These extrinsic factors lead to a poor physical situation. And it is also the reason why nearly 15 percentages of leaders（？why leaders?） have obesity, cardiovascular, high blood pressure, diabetes and so on, but(But) if residents can relax themselves frequently and have less stress, I do believe they will have a healthy life.

Given all these reasons I mentioned above, I firmly assert that citizens in the past can live better. Only when our surroundings become clear, more organic food are provided and less workload for employees can we keep fit easily.

我只能说这篇文章真的很赞超赞好么！！！！！！！！