阿伦艾佛森的作文

阿伦艾弗森

10月8日独立写作It seems that moving out of village or town becomes a symbol for people who would like to achieve success and be happier. I agree with this statement because moving out can help us broaden our horizon, make more friends and think about this world in different ways. Combining these things together, we can have a successful and happy life.



First of all, we can have totally different opinions about the world when we move outside the town. There are many new things we can get access to. For example, new facilities for entertainment, new bookstores which contained the books you are interested in but can’t find them in villages’ or new art museums. These things can help us learn more knowledge and change our narrow minds of the world into insightful so that we can get chances before we succeed. Also, it can help give ourselves a definition so that we can find what we would like to do, how we could do it. Through this way we can find the truth of happiness.



Secondly, new environment outside can provides us opportunities to make more friends. Friends are really significant in our life. Seriously speaking, we can’t live without them. Living in a small town sometimes can’t help us to find a real friend. When we move outside, we have more chances to meet more people, we can finally find the one who is really understand us and makes us laugh when we frustrated. Also, by cooperating with friends, we can better stand in new environment and it is really for us to achieve success.



Thirdly, moving outside we can know how large the world is and it may change our ways to consider. When we live in a small town, we might be brilliant in some fields and we will think we are the number one in the world. This attitude always makes us slow down our pace to advance so that one day we will find us are as same as other people. However, when we move in some big cities, such as NewYork, ShangHai, we can find the elites are countless. They will give us a motivation to reach our goals and hard work. We all know that only by hard work, can we get more occasions to success.



All in all, I inclined that we are more successful and happier when we move outside our native villiage.

阿伦艾弗森

The reading passage mainly provides us with three points about how to preserve the endangered Torreya; the professor deals with the same topic; However, she thinks that the reasons provided by reading are unconvincing.



Firstly, the reading discusses that reestablishing the Torreya in the same place is a good way. In contrast, the professor claims that these locations are not substantial for Torreya because location’s climate is effected by global warming or water draining. So now, the climate is dryer.



Secondly, the reading makes a point that to move Torreya in different area can help them thrive. Whereas the professor demonstrates that scientists used to grow a kind of trees to an area where was totally different than before but those trees spread quickly and kill some local trees which are endangered. So bringing the trees to other places may bring a unpredictable outcome.



Thirdly, the reading states that Torreya can be preserved in some research center. The lecture casts doubts that those centers do not have enough capacities to contain those large diverse populations of tress.



In conclusion, the statements in reading are contradicted by the professor with her opinion.

陈喵喵holdon

10月8日独立写作It seems that moving out of village or town becomes a symbol for people who would like to achieve success and be happier. I agree with this statement because moving out can help us broaden our horizon, make more friends and think about this world in different ways. Combining these things together, we can have a successful and happy life.(建议最前面加一些背景铺垫.另外感觉你对逻辑主语运用特别敏感在行哦,学习了!)



First of all, we can have totally different opinions about the world when we move outside the town. There are many new things we can get access to. For example, new facilities for entertainment, new bookstores which contained the books you are interested in but can’t find them in villages’ or new art museums(建议加到books后面). These things can help us learn more knowledge and change our narrow minds of the world into insightful(ones)so that we can get chances before we succeed. Also, it can help give ourselves a definition so that we can find what we would like to do, how we could do it. Through this way we can find the truth of happiness.



Secondly, new environment outside can provides us opportunities to make more friends. Friends are really significant in our life. Seriously speaking, we can’t live without them.(这句感觉跟前一句有点重复)Living in a small town sometimes can’t help us to find a real friend. When we move outside, we have more chances to meet more people, we can finally find the one who is really understand(understands) us and makes us laugh when we frustrated. Also, by cooperating with friends, we can better stand in new environment and it is really for us to achieve success(感觉缺少形容词，不过语法上及不上阿伦，所以怕改的不对).



Thirdly, moving outside we can know how large the world is and it may change our ways to consider. When we live in a small town, we might be brilliant in some fields and we will think we are the number one in the world. This attitude always makes us slow down our pace to advance so that one day we will find us are as same as other people. However, when we move in some big cities, such as NewYork, ShangHai, we can find the elites are countless. They will give us a motivation to reach our goals and hard work. We all know that only by hard work, can we get more occasions to success.



All in all, I inclined that we are more successful and happier when we move outside our native villiage.

-- by 会员 阿伦艾弗森 (2012/10/9 18:58:26)

语法很准确，意思也明白，观点明朗。
第二第三两个观点如果能举实例就好了。
另外觉得单句有点太多，再多一点复杂句就好了。

陈喵喵holdon

The reading passage mainly provides us with three points about how to preserve the endangered Torreya; the professor deals with the same topic; However, she thinks that the reasons provided by reading are unconvincing.(最好亮一下professor的观点)



Firstly, the reading discusses that reestablishing the Torreya in the same place is a good way. In contrast, the professor claims that these locations are not substantial for Torreya because location’s climate is effected(affected) by global warming or water draining. So now, the climate is dryer.(感觉观点结束的有点突兀，总结下两观点矛盾或者该location已经不再适合为好)



Secondly, the reading makes a point that to move Torreya in different area can help them thrive. Whereas the professor demonstrates that scientists used to grow a kind of trees to an area where was totally different than before but those trees spread quickly and kill some local trees which are endangered. So bringing the trees to other places may bring a(an)unpredictable outcome.



Thirdly, the reading states that Torreya can be preserved in some research center. The lecture casts doubts that those centers do not have enough capacities to contain those large diverse populations of tress.



In conclusion, the statements in reading are contradicted by the professor with her opinion.(缺少professor理由中的small population cannot resist disease而无法使Torreya长期生存这一点)

-- by 会员 阿伦艾弗森 (2012/10/9 20:50:30)

明确简练，不知道这篇字数是多少?之前有听说多写一些比较好..

阿伦艾弗森

The reading passage mainly provides us with three points about the bad effects of buzzers; the buzzer deals with the same topic; however, he thinks that the reasons provided by the reading are stupid.



Firstly, the reading discusses that what buzzers tell to the consumers is just paid advertisements. In contrast, the buzzer claims that companies only find one who thinks their products are good. Though buzzers are paid, they tell the truth to consumers. The talk says that he becomes a buzzer because he thinks that his phone service is good.



Secondly, the reading makes a point that consumers will be less critically to listen what buzzers say than to watch advertisements. Whereas the professor demonstrates that consumers will ask them lots of questions before they buy the products such as the price, the service and so on so forth. If buzzers can’t answer their questions, they will not buy the products.



Thirdly, the reading states that buzzers are harmful for social relationship. The lecture casts doubts that people who use the products advised by buzzers will think the things are good and they will trust people more than before.

阿伦艾弗森

Many parents now like to send their children to art school in order to culminate their children’s interesting in music or drawing. People also advice governments to build art museums or music halls in stead of building recreational devices.However, I disagree with their opinion from following reasons.



First of all, playing sports in playground is necessary for us because not only we entertain it, but also we need to develop a health body and have a relaxed mood. By playing basketball, swimming or jogging in the playground, we can feel comfortable for the waste of our body has been discharged. Sports can help us stay away from diseases and relax ourselves. After a whole day’s exhausting study or work, we need a body’s relaxation and we need a place to release ourselves. At that time, recreational devices will be the best choice for us.



Secondly, our world combines different kinds of people. Someone like to play guitar, and some other guys may like to play football. We can’t deprive their way for fun. If governments put more money into art museum, is it fair for a basketball player who would like to be professional. Sports is apart of our life. Our spirit is somehow rely on them, so there are many important events be hold in world such as world cup, Olympics and basketball championship. Our players use their way to prove themselves and stimulate our motivation towards sports. How can we take swimming pool away and build music hall there?



Thirdly, It is acknowledged that art is graceful, however, not everyone can enjoy them. For instance, my mother is a female who really loves to attend concerts of musician. My father is the one who likes fishing with me outside. So many times, my mother forced my father and me to attend concerts with her, however, neither of us interested in them and we nearly felt asleep. We made my mom frustrated, but we really want to go outside and fishing. From this case, we can know that everyone has their own hobbies, apparently, not all of us appreciate art.



In conclusion, I think government should not put more money into develop music halls and art museums.

阿伦艾弗森

对不起今天改我作文 的两位同学啊。！~
因为真的有事，没来得及，实在抱歉这么晚才交

阿伦艾弗森

The reading passage mainly provides us with three points about advantages to plant genetically modified tree. The professor deals with the same issue; however, she thinks that the reasons provided by reading are unconvincing.


Firstly, the reading discusses that modified trees are more adapt the environment. In contrast, the professor claims that although modified trees can survive in some conditions harshly, their genetically uniform makes can adapt the changing of the environments. They will be wipe out easily when they meet some problems like climate change.



Secondly, the reading makes a point that modified trees will bring economical benefit to the one who grows them. Whereas the professor demonstrates that it is unlikely for them to gain profit because growers should pay for the companies which provide functions to grow these trees every year.



Thirdly, the reading states that genetically trees can prevent wild trees from overexploiting. The lecture casts doubts that these trees will compete the natural trees in order to get more resources such as nutrients, soils and so on so forth.



In conclusion, the statements in reading are contradicted by professor with her opinion.

kiddy72

阿伦同学非常抱歉我昨天没来得及写完 不过我现在已经交了11号的了～麻烦你了
还有就是你是11号只占了综合么？有没有占独立啊？

kiddy72

The reading passage mainly provides us with three points about advantages to plant genetically modified tree. The professor deals with the same issue; however, she thinks that the reasons provided by reading are unconvincing.


Firstly, the reading discusses that modified trees are more adapt the environment. In contrast, the professor claims that although modified trees can survive in some conditions harshly, their genetically uniform makes can adapt the changing of the environments.（应该变异的树都很一样，只能适应特定的环境变化，其他的就都会死光） They will be wipe out easily when they meet some problems like climate change.



Secondly, the reading makes a point that modified trees will bring economical benefit to the one who grows them. Whereas the professor demonstrates that it is unlikely for them to gain profit because growers should pay for the companies which provide functions to grow these trees every year.



Thirdly, the reading states that genetically trees can prevent wild trees from overexploiting. The lecture casts doubts that these trees will compete with the natural trees in order to get more resources such as nutrients, soils and so on so forth. as a result .......可以说详细一点



In conclusion, the statements in reading are contradicted by professor with her opinion.

互相学习哈～谢谢啦！