阿伦艾佛森的作文

klllun

the reading passage mainly provides us three competingtheories about the use of "great houses". the professor deals withthe same issue; however, he thinks that none of those theories are convincing.
开头大写啊，这个要练习的。现在咱么不磨刀，上考场就更麻烦啦~
firstly, thereading discusses that Chaco structure might use for resenditial. (Residential) in contrast theprofessor claims that the outside of building seemed that they used for residentbut the inside of house remained serious of doubts that if people lived inChaco structure, there might be many fire places. however, just few fire placesremained there. the largest room just had a few fire places which can be usedfor 10 families. it couldn't give condition for such many people（嗯，是想表达如此多的人吗？怎么觉得有点中式英文，或者是虫子阅读量有限啊。求讨论~Such a large number ofpeople） lived there.

secondly, thereading makes the point that storing food supplies might be another use forChaco structures. whereas the professor demonstrates that it is sound plausiblebut unconvincing because there had few containers for grain maize to becontained.
（还有一个地上面的trace的原因。细节，添上更好哈）
thirdly, thereading states that the place might be used as religious center. the professorcasts doubts that there were large numbers（冠词the） of building materials such assands, stones. also, there left over pots trash which might come fromthe left of meal. so the place can't be used for ceremonial centers.
这里是因为听的很不完整。是与construction workers有着直接的关系。建议重听听力，完善最后一段

阿伦艾弗森

The reading passage mainly provides us with three problems about communal online encyclopedia. The professor deals with the same issue. However, she thinks that the reading ignores some important benefits about online encyclopedia.



Firstly, the reading discusses that the online encyclopedia often lack of some credential. In contrast, the professor claims that the traditional encyclopedia is also imperfect. We cannot find a book without errors. The important thing for online encyclopedia is that the mistakes can be easily corrected. However, the errors would remain in traditional encyclopedia for decades.



Secondly, the reading makes the point that some people will corrupt the information provided by online encyclopedia. Whereas the professor demonstrates that the encyclopedia put crucial fact in a format and no one could change the information in there. Also, there is an editor who monitors all changes in encyclopedia.



Thirdly, the reading states that the broaden knowledge provided by encyclopedia may misunderstand us so that we couldn’t find which one is important. The professor casts doubts that the diversity of users’ interests makes them represent many academic articles become the strongest advantages in encyclopedia.



In conclusion, the statements in reading are contradicted by the professor with her opinion.

AnthonySummer

粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）



10月20日综合写作





The reading passage mainly provides us with three problems about communal online encyclopedia. The professor deals with the same issue. However, she thinks that the reading ignores some important benefits about online encyclopedia.







Firstly, the reading discusses that the online encyclopedia often lack of （lacks）some credential. In contrast, the professor claims that the traditional encyclopedia is also imperfect. We cannot find a book without errors. The important thing for online encyclopedia is that the mistakes can be easily corrected. However, the errors would remain in traditional encyclopedia for decades. （细节把握得很好，厉害！）







Secondly, the reading makes the point that some people will corrupt the information provided by online（the online） encyclopedia. Whereas the professor demonstrates that the encyclopedia put crucial fact in a format and no one could change the information inthere. Also, there is an editor who monitors all changes in an encyclopedia.（貌似概括的太简练了）







Thirdly, the reading states that the broaden knowledge provided by encyclopedia may misunderstand us so that we couldn't find which one is important. The professor casts doubts that the diversity of users' interests makes them represent many academic articles become the strongest advantages in encyclopedia. （最后一条提到online E 能够accurate 反应大众的关注点但是paper E不能，这个很重要的细节没提到，注意细节把握）







In conclusion, the statements in reading are contradicted by the professor with her opinion.



语言简练，用词到位，建构也很清晰，就是缺少了一些听力中的细节。

加油吧！

AnthonySummer

期待你今天的综合写作啊！

阿伦艾弗森

The reading passage provides us three reasons that customers will not buy products which labeled by ecocertification. The professor deals with the same issue; however, he thinks that the reading ignores some of the important sides about ecocertification.



Firstly, the reading discusses that the plenty of the advertisements will make customers won’t believe the advertisements of ecocertification. In contrast, the professor claims that Americans don’t treat the advertisements as same level. They will distinguish them and their react about ecocertification products tells us that they are favorite those products.



Secondly, the reading makes a point that the dear econcertified woods will increase their price and no consumers like products with high price. Whereas the professor demonstrates that the consumers won’t buy products which have a much higher price than other same one. However, they allow the products have less than 5 cents’ high price like ecocertification. Also, American really pay attention to their environment which motivates them to buy ecocertification products.



Thirdly, the reading states that americans wood just be sold in their own country. The professor casts doubts that the ecocertification products spread not because of foreign consumers but because of foreign competition. When the ecocertification companies capture the eyes of Americans, they will some attract companies of foreign countries.

dreamcece

等10.22综合~~~~

阿伦艾弗森

The reading passage provides us three reasons that Chevalier de Seingalt’s memoir is inaccurate. The professor deals with the same issue; however, he thinks that none of the reasons provided by reading is convincing.



Firstly, the reading discusses that if Chevalier was rich while living in Switzerland, he would have not borrowed money from other merchants. In contrast, the professor claims that though Chevalier was wealthy, he spent plenty of his money into gamble and parties so he should wait for few days before his cash arrived. At that time, he should borrow money from merchants.



Secondly, the reading makes a point that the details in conversation made by Chevalier and famous writer are so accuracy that he couldn’t remember all of them. Whereas the professor demonstrates that every time after Chevalier made conversation with others, he would write down every detail he could remember in a note. Also, he often took the notes and reviewed them. So it is not strange for him to remember lots of details in his memoir.



Thirdly, the reading states that it was impossible for Chevalier to escape from ceiling. The professor casts doubts that many of people in prison with Chevalier had more powerful friends than him and those persons all couldn’t bible jailers. Also, there remained a record that after Chevalier escaped from prison, the ceiling of prison had been repaired.

阿伦艾弗森

写好啦。晚了点，不好意思哈。！~

dreamcece

没有关系啦，只要坚持每天写了就是胜利~
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage provides us three reasons that Chevalier de Seingalt’s memoir is inaccurate. The professor deals with the same issue; however, he thinks that none of the reasons provided by reading is convincing.



Firstly, the reading discusses that if Chevalier was rich while(while是连词，所以后面句子成分不完全，要补全，+he was) living in Switzerland, he would have not borrowed 这个结构。。。he would not borrow比较直接，加上have的话你是想说过去完成时吗？如果这样的话那么have的位置不对，应该是would (not) have done blabla... money from other merchants. In contrast, the professor claims that though Chevalier was wealthy, he spent plenty of his money into gamble and parties so he should wait for few days before his cash arrived. 细节不完全。 At that time, he should borrow money from merchants.



Secondly, the reading makes a point that the details in conversation made by Chevalier and famous writer are so accuracy that he couldn’t正式写作中最好不要出现缩写 remember all of them. Whereas the professor demonstrates that every time after Chevalier made conversation with others, he would write down every detail he could remember in a note. Also, he often took the notes and reviewed them. So it is not strange for him to remember lots of details in his memoir.



Thirdly, the reading states that it was impossible for Chevalier to escape from ceiling原文是不相信他逃跑的方式，而不是不相信他能逃出来. The professor casts doubts that many of people in prison with Chevalier had more powerful friends than him and those persons all couldn’t缩写。。。 bible bribe the jailers. Also,这里用also作为连接词不太符合逻辑，应用表转折的，因为前后两句说的句意相反，而且这里缺少一些细节 there remained a record that after Chevalier escaped from prison, the ceiling of prison had been repaired.

AnthonySummer

10月21日综合写作

粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）





The reading passage provides us three reasons that customers will not buy products which labeled by ecocertification. The professor deals with the same issue; however, he thinks that the reading ignores some of the important sides about ecocertification.







Firstly, the reading discusses that the plenty of (不要the ，前面已经有数量修饰词了）advertisements will make customers won't believe the advertisements of ecocertification. In contrast, the professor claims that Americans don't treat the advertisements as same level. They will distinguish them and their react about ecocertification products tells us that they are favorite those products.







Secondly, the reading makes a point that the dear econcertified woods will increase their price and no consumers like products with high price. Whereas the professor demonstrates that the consumers won't buy products which have a much higher price than other same one. However, they allow the products have less than 5 cents' （原文中是less than five percent as is the case with certified wood,听错了这可是大忌）high price like ecocertification. Also, American really （pays）pay attention to their environment which motivates them to buy ecocertification products.







Thirdly, the reading states that Americans（A你没大写） wood （没看懂，是products？）just be sold in their own country. The professor casts doubts that the ecocertification products spread not because of foreign consumers but because of foreign competition. When the ecocertification companies capture the eyes of Americans, they will some attract companies of foreign countries. （又没看懂，另外原文也不是这个意思，是讲If American companies are slow capturing those customers, you can be sure that foreign companies will soon start crowing into the American market，外国公司占领市场，建议重听吧！）



楼主第二段细节没把握对。

全文的结构还是挺好的。

第三段主旨没把握住，打错啊！全文中很多地方表达有问题，或者是没用听力中的词汇而是自己想象的，这样不好。加油吧！