阿伦艾佛森的作文

阿伦艾弗森

zengyuruo 发表于 2013-6-19 16:43
总体感觉，文章的结构比较清楚。
提出三个原因：科学家能够事先知道他们研究的影响，专业知识限制了别人对 ...

谢谢啦~

阿伦艾弗森

Life is an attitude. Different people hold different ideas about their lives and the final aim for everyone is success. However, which leads people success? I think is optimistic which can give us a happy emotion to face failure so remaining happy and optimistic is more significant.

First of all, after failing, only by having a happy mentality can people adjust them quickly so that they can face more challenges. For instance, Allen Iverson, who used to play basketball in NBA, is a person who faces his life in a positive way. He said to his fans that always using smile to face difficulties in lives; holding active attitude, he won 3 MVPs during his career and showed us that optimistic is more important in our lives. Had he given up with a bad mentality, we would not have seen such a wonderful basketball player.

Secondly, it seems that remained happy and optimistic can help us achieve our success. Chasing dream is a difficult thing for most of us because people like to plan a big decision and addicted into day-dreaming. A few of us can really achieve our dream the reason is that some people intend to give up when they fail at the beginning and they’d like to abandon because they always fall into depressing hole and these bad emotions effect their continuing. So an optimistic attitude should remain in our lives.


Thirdly, what’s the definition of success? Money? House? Or social position? In my opinion, none of them can define success. Man with good health and happy emotion is success. Many white-collars die in sudden nowadays. What’s the meaning of their lives without living? Endless work leads them work day and night without rest. They can not feel birds singing and leaves swaying. Do they success? No, even they have considerable incomes. Happy and optimistic is more important than so-called success.

In conclusion, from the instances showing above, we can know that optimistic is more important than success.

阿伦艾弗森

阿伦艾弗森 发表于 2013-6-23 17:19
Life is an attitude. Different people hold different ideas about their lives and the final aim for  ...

6月23日独立。。。。。

阿伦艾弗森

6月25日独立写作
Different people have their own different ways to celebrate some major events. Some of them like to hole a big party and invite lots of friends; others, however, prefer to invite some of their closing friends and family members. For my perspective of view, I’d like to choose some intimate friends and families to have a small party.

First of all, small parties can help us communicate with our friends in a more intimate way. Only when we stay with our closed friends can we have opportunities to share our inner voice. Always after ending a major event, people need to tell others their secrets. If we hold a party which has lots of people, the atmosphere will be totally changed. The order will be mess, and the focus wouldn’t be the one who is major character but change into everyone’s happiness. The one who started party is lack of time to talk to each other.

Secondly, inviting small groups of people can show us indebted heart. Usually we can not get some achievements only by ourselves. We graduated from school not only because of our own hard-working, but also related to the hard work of teachers and helps of intimated friends. Also, the birthdays we celebrated attribute to our mothers’ pain and 10 mouths carefulness. If we invite many unrelated people, we would have less chance to show our love back to these people.

Thirdly, big parties always need much preparation before start. We need to have much workload before parties such as go to supermarket to buy many fresh vegetables and meat then come back home and cook them; we need to maintain a good order during parties because people who you invited may don’t really know much about each other and some of them may even have problems to each other. After people go back to their home, we need to clean up and it will take our much time. So I intend to choose small parties to decrease our workload.

In conclusion, I prefer to choose small parties to celebrate some events like graduation or birthday because small parties can give us more chance to communicate, more time to show our indebted heart and less work to help us save time.

clermont129

谢谢你帮我改作文，提出了很多很宝贵很中肯的意见
我的水平比较菜，看了你的文章，觉得整体都挺不错的，里面有几个小细节，你看要不要修改一下
1 Always after ending a major event, people need to tell others their secrets.   
  always 是不是放到people后面好一点？
2 the one who is major character 改成 the one who should be the major character
3 the birthdays we celebrated attribute to our mothers’ pain
  attribute to 我觉得换成are based on，怎么样？