正儿八经潜水的作文贴，诚心互批，共同进步！

正儿八经潜水

OK.THANKS!! 1170014204

小兔爱twins

Nowadays +， it is widely acknowledged that university professors have played an essential role in people’s life, especially in university students’ life. As a result, the question is often raised as to whether university professors should spend more time doing research or educating students. To this question, people’s opinions vary, with some claiming that it is much better to spend more time doing research and others holding that pend more time educating students is a better choice. Taking into account the major factors involved, I cast my vote for the former opinion because it could benefit the students as well as the world in general and this essay will explore the reasons for my stance. （这样写法凑字数还是不错的。。。 但是要高分就不靠谱了。。我目前也属于凑字数状态）

The first reason coming to my mind is that the research could have great influences on the real world could one day lead to great breakthroughs, such as a cure for cancer or a solution to global warming. If that is the case, then the average life span of people will be longer and the earth will be more comfortable to live on with the better environment. It, therefore, seems fair that university professors should spend more time doing research than educating students.  

What is equally important is the fact that if a professor’s research was successful it could benefit the university and the students in two ways. On the one hand, the university would be able to receive grants and funding to continue with further research. This money would help the university improve their research facilities, which would benefit the students who use these facilities. On the other hand, the recognition of the research would improve the reputation and standing of the university, which is something that would also benefit the students who studied there by association. Thus, I absolutely believe that spending more time doing research is a better choice for university professors.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that a professor who continues to do research is more aware of recent developments and is kept at the forefront of the field. This will make the professor a more knowledgeable teacher. The professor is also more likely to be a more enthusiastic teacher because he or she will be excited about the new discoveries when sharing them with students. It is,in the sense,reasonable to say that it is more important for university professors to do research rather than to educate students.

（这几个body段跟范文仿的差不多。。。不做修改了。。。毕竟范文都是大牛写出来的。。哈哈）

Taking into account the above analysis,we may safely come to the conclusion that university professors should spend more time doing research, because a successful research can have great influences on the real world and benefit the university as well as the students. Of course, students will be educated by more knowledgeable professors.


字数很足哦！！！ 看范文的同时不忘把它精华的内容吸收下来弄成自己的！！这才是王道哈哈哈！！

正儿八经潜水

是啊，忧伤的菜鸟还停留在模仿范文的道路中

正儿八经潜水

9月16日 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement : similar jobs with you for your children ?

Our major difference between some parents and their children in the emphasis on choosing jobs naturally gives rise to an issue of whether children should take similar jobs with their parents. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue as well as my experiences leads me to hold a positive attitude towards the assertion that let children follow their true heart when it comes to career selection. After all, each individual is different, children may not qualified for their parents' work.

The first reason coming to my mind is that if children are forced to choose jobs with their parents, it will become difficult for them to grow mature. Parents’ direction will prevent them from committing mistakes. As a result, they will never get negative feedbacks and learn how to correct faults. A simple analogy may help brighten this point. Babies will never learn to walk before they fall down again and again. Once they fall down, parents will pay attention to them and try to find out what is wrong and then teach them how to walk better. That may be what we call negative feedbacks and correct faults. Therefore, it’s quite obvious that parents should’t force children to choose similar jobs with them.

What is equally important is the fact that, as an old saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If children have no interest in their parents’ jobs, parents' help is just meaningless. Taking Elon Musk as an instance, so tedious he thought the machines would be that he rejected the abundant experiences from his mother though his mother is a very successful engineer. Since what he was interested was venture capital, he finally chose to follow his heart and became the founder of SpaceX, which develops and produces space lunch vehicles with low cost but high reliability. Of course, he achievements were far more than the above. He once said that he was about to retire on Mas! Imagine that, if Elon Musk had chosen to be an engineer, everything might be different. Thus, I absolutely believe that it’s so important for parents to respect on children’s interest.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that if a whole family choose the similar jobs it would certainly have negative effects. Their knowledge scopes will be limited since they are all familiar with the same region. What is worse, they will face the risk of unemployment if the industry suffers from depression. It is,in the sense,reasonable to say that choosing different jobs may be a better choice between family members.

Taking into account the above analysis,we may safely come to the conclusion that children should follow their heart to pursue dreams rather than choose the similar jobs with their parents, especially when they really do not like it. It also can reduce the risk of the whole family.

婷婷connie

9.16 独立改文
9月16日 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement : similar jobs with you for your children ?
第一次改文~~红色错误，蓝色讨论，高亮精彩
Our major(这里没有读懂？Major是“专业”还是“主要的”的意思？) difference between some parents and their children in the emphasis(这里感觉没有必要写哦) on choosing jobs naturally gives rise to an issue of whether children should take similar jobs with their parents. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue as well as my experiences leads me to hold a positive attitude towards the assertion that let（letting） children follow their true heart when it comes to career selection. After all, each individual is different, children may not (be) qualified for their parents' work.

The first reason coming to my mind is that if children are forced to choose jobs with their parents, it will become difficult for them to grow mature. Parents’ direction will（probably比较好，用will太绝对了） prevent them from committing mistakes. As a result, they will never get negative feedbacks and learn how to correct faults. A simple analogy may help brighten this point. Babies will never learn to walk before they fall down again and again. Once they fall down, parents will pay attention to them and try to find out what is wrong and then teach them how to walk better. That may be what we call negative feedbacks and correct faults.（婷婷感觉这个例子不太切合这段的TS，可以弄一个家长强制给小孩选career的例子，蓝色这句话可以换一种形式，之前写过了Here witnesses the demerits of compulsorily choosing career for children... ） Therefore, it’s quite obvious that parents should’t(should not) force children to choose similar jobs with them.

What is equally important is the fact that, as an old saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If children have no interest in their parents’ jobs, parents' help is just meaningless. Taking Elon Musk as an instance, so tedious he thought the machines would be that he rejected the abundant experiences from his mother though his mother is a very successful engineer. Since what he was interested was venture capital, he finally chose to follow his heart and became the founder of SpaceX, which develops and produces space lunch vehicles with low cost but high reliability. Of course, he(his) achievements were far more than the above. He once said that he was about to retire on Mas（火星是Mars）! Imagine that, if Elon Musk had chosen to be an engineer(这里可以来个倒装had Elon Musk chosen to be an engineer), everything might be different. Thus, I absolutely believe that it’s so important for parents to respect on children’s interest.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that if a whole family choose the similar jobs（这里貌似少了一个逗号） it would certainly have negative effects.(这里把具体的disadvantage说出来比较好，让人一看就知道这段在说什么) Their knowledge scopes will be limited since they are all familiar with the same region. What is worse, they will face the risk of unemployment if the industry suffers from depression. It is,in the sense,reasonable to say that choosing different jobs may be a better choice between（for） family members.

Taking into account the above analysis,we may safely come to the conclusion that children should（are supposed to/ought to） follow their heart to pursue dreams rather than choose the similar jobs with their parents, especially when they really do not like it. It also can reduce the risk of the whole family.



Conclusion:

1.观点很好的

2.注意语言多样性哦，像follow their heart之类的，可以写成children’s willingness should be given precedence over...

3.第一个point对应的例子不够深刻，建议换一个贴切的

4.加油啦!

正儿八经潜水

9月17日 独立
Grades (marks) encourage students to learn？A\D

One major difference between different philosophy of teaching in the emphasis on grades gives rise to an issue of whether grades encourage students to learn. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue as well as my experiences leads me to hold a positive attitude towards the assertion that grades, which usually lead to vicious competition between students, absolutely do not encourage students to learn in the long run.

The first reason coming to my mind is that though grades facilitate the overall management of the teaching system and sometimes encourage students who like to follow the principle of gradual improvement to learn, students are finally not motivated to learn as much as they are motivated to get good grades. They spend time using their intelligence to figure out how to get a higher or top grade without doing the real work of the course and without thinking, rather than spending the same time thinking and exploring, regardless of what this grade may bring them. Once they become grade-oriented in their thinking, it is difficult for them to stop thinking that way. Therefore, it’s quite obvious that high grades don’t encourage students to learn in the long run.

What is equally important is the fact that pursuing high grades blindly can easily distort students’ values. Irrational competition make students tend to resort to every expedient just for higher grades, such as cheating in exams. They even don’t consider it as a shameful behavior. On the contrary, they will just become too big for their shoes. What’s worse, the biggest drawback is that students usually lose hope and even abandon their learning motivation after getting unsatisfactory grades several times. I really don’t believe that such a teaching system is successful. Thus, I absolutely believe that it’s so important for schools to improve the grade-oriented teaching system.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that the grade-oriented teaching system is not conducive to students’ being fully developed inner-disciplinary talent in the future. Because what these students have learned from school is the underlying message that the world is run by authorities who have definite points of view, they usually fear open-ended assignments and they are also impatient with discussions that are not going in any particular direction since they think that such discussions waste time that could have been better spent studying for a test.The system has taught them that the way to get along in the world is to understand and to cater to those points of view espoused by the educational authorities. It is,in the sense,reasonable to say that it is not the best choice to encourage students to learn by grades.

Taking into account the above analysis,we may safely come to the conclusion that grades absolutely do not encourage students to learn in the long run. Because it will make students become grade-oriented and distort their values. It is also not conducive to students’ being fully developed inner-disciplinary talent in the future.

小兔爱twins

One major differencebetween different philosophy of teaching （这样表达有点绕）in the emphasis on grades gives rise to an issue of whethergrades encourage students to learn. My reflection on the relevant elements ofthis issue as well as my experiences leads me to hold a positive attitudetowards the assertion that grades, which usually lead to vicious competitionbetween students, absolutely do not encourage students to learn in the longrun. (嘻嘻 这么篇我没写过 没有看过范文 你自己写的么 开头写的蛮好的)

The first reason coming to my mind is that though grades facilitate the overall management of the teaching system andsometimes encourage students who like to follow the principle of gradual improvement 好！ to learn, students are finally not motivated to learn asmuch as they are motivated to get good grades拧巴。。。。. They spend time usingtheir intelligence to figure out how to get a higher or top grade without doingthe real work of the course and without thinking, rather than spending the sametime thinking and exploring, regardless of what this grade may bring them. Oncethey become grade-oriented in their thinking, it is difficult for them to stopthinking that way. Therefore, it’s quite obvious that high grades don’tencourage students to learn in the long run.（还不错 就是有的句子太冗长。。。。 句式变换和简单句穿插比较需要训练。。。 不过这语言表达满准确的不错。。。）

What is equally important is the fact thatpursuing high grades blindly can easily distort　students’ values. Irrational competition make students tendto resort to every expedient just for higher grades, such as cheating in exams.They even don’t consider it as a shameful behavior. On the contrary, they will just become too big for their shoes.（
前面所提到的ｓｈａｍｅｌｅｓｓ　跟目中无人还是没有直接的逻辑联系的啊，，，　严谨一些。。。　） What’s worse, the biggest drawback is that studentsusually lose hope and even abandon their learning motivation after gettingunsatisfactory grades several times. I really don’t believe that such a teaching system is successful. Thus, I absolutely believethat it’s so important for schools to improve the grade-oriented teachingsystem.（ｔｅａｃｈｉｎｇ　ｓｙｓｔｅｍ　。。。用着来表达教育机制不太好　）

In addition to the above reasons, another point Iwant to make about this topic is that the grade-oriented teaching system is notconducive to students’ being fully developed inner-disciplinary talent in thefuture. Because what these students have learned from school is the underlyingmessage that the world is run by authorities who have definite points of view,they usually fear open-ended assignments and they are also impatient withdiscussions that are not going in any particular direction since they thinkthat such discussions waste time that could have been better spent studying fora test。The system has taught them that the way to get along in the world isto understand and to cater to those points of view espoused by the educationalauthorities. It is,in the sense,reasonable to say that it is not the bestchoice to encourage students to learn by grades.（这段还行）
Taking into account the above analysis,we maysafely come to the conclusion that grades absolutely do not encourage studentsto learn in the long run. Because it will make students become grade-orientedand distort their values. It is also not conducive to students’ being fullydeveloped inner-disciplinary talent in the future.
字数很强大，， 如果你考试能写这么多 不上25分都难  记得要dadf, dfa (,空格内容  )

正儿八经潜水

谢谢婷婷，你改的很细心哦
这是我修改之后的

9月16日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement : similar jobs with you for your children ?

赞成反对题


One major difference between some parents and their children in the emphasis on choosing jobs naturally gives rise to an issue of whether children should take similar jobs with their parents. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue as well as my experiences leads me to hold a positive attitude towards the assertion(opinion,assertion一般是不对的、片面的主张，如果你支持这个主张的话，就不要用assertion ) that let children follow their true heart when it comes to career selection. After all, each individual is different,andchildren may notbe qualified for their parents' work.



The first reason coming to my mind is that if children are forced to choose jobs withtheir parents, it will become difficult for them to grow mature(become mature gradually,grow mature太中式化). Parents’ direction will（probably比较好，用will太绝对了)prevent them from committing mistakes.As a result, they will never get negative feedbacks and learn how to correct faults.Babies will never learn to walk before they fall down again and again.Once they fall down, parents will pay attention to them and try to find out what is wrong and then teach them how to walk better.(对应的例子不够深, Here gives an example of compulsorily choosing career for children. Tom’s father was a doctor, and Tom finally chose doctor as his career conforming to the requirement of his father. At the beginning, everything was going so well because his father always told him what to do and what not to do. After his father’s retirement, various problems usually drove Tom so anxious that he finally had to give up his career. )Therefore, it’s quite obvious that parents should’t(should not) force children to choose similar jobs with them.



What is equally important is the fact that, as an old saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If childrenhave no interest in their parents’ jobs, parents' help is just meaningless. Taking Elon Musk as an instance, so tedious he thought the machines would be that he rejected the abundant experiences from his mother though his mother is a very successful engineer. Since what he was interested was venture capital, he finally chose to follow his heart and becamethe founder of SpaceX, which develops and produces space lunch vehicles with low cost but high reliability.Of course, he(his) achievements were far more than the above. He once said that he was about to retire on Mas(Mars)! Imagine that, if Elon Musk had(来个倒装, had Elon Musk)chosen to be an engineer, everything might be different. Thus, I absolutely believe thatit’s so important for parents to respect on children’s interest(children’s willingness should be given precedence over other factors).



In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that if a whole family choose the similar jobs, it would certainly have some negative effects, for example, their knowledge scopes will be limited since they are all familiar with the same region. They may become severely bruised and battered when facing all kinds of unusual problems. What is worse, they will face the risk of unemployment if the industrysuffers from depression.It is just due to that no one from the family can successfully do well in other industries. It is,in the sense,reasonable to say that choosing different jobs may be a better choice between family members.

Taking into account the above analysis,we may safely come to the conclusion that children should follow their heart to pursue dreams rather than choose the similar jobs with their parents, especially when they really do not like it. It also can reduce the risk of the whole family.

婷婷connie

谢谢婷婷，你改的很细心哦
这是我修改之后的

9月16日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement : similar jobs with you for your children ?

赞成反对题


One major difference between some parents and their children in the emphasis on choosing jobs naturally gives rise to an issue of whether children should take similar jobs with their parents. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue as well as my experiences leads me to hold a positive attitude towards the assertion(opinion,assertion一般是不对的、片面的主张，如果你支持这个主张的话，就不要用assertion ) that let children follow their true heart when it comes to career selection. After all, each individual is different,andchildren may notbe qualified for their parents' work.



The first reason coming to my mind is that if children are forced to choose jobs withtheir parents, it will become difficult for them to grow mature(become mature gradually,grow mature太中式化). Parents’ direction will（probably比较好，用will太绝对了)prevent them from committing mistakes.As a result, they will never get negative feedbacks and learn how to correct faults.Babies will never learn to walk before they fall down again and again.Once they fall down, parents will pay attention to them and try to find out what is wrong and then teach them how to walk better.(对应的例子不够深, Here gives an example of compulsorily choosing career for children. Tom’s father was a doctor, and Tom finally chose doctor as his career conforming to the requirement of his father. At the beginning, everything was going so well because his father always told him what to do and what not to do. After his father’s retirement, various problems usually drove Tom so anxious that he finally had to give up his career. )Therefore, it’s quite obvious that parents should’t(should not) force children to choose similar jobs with them.



What is equally important is the fact that, as an old saying goes, interest is the best teacher. If childrenhave no interest in their parents’ jobs, parents' help is just meaningless. Taking Elon Musk as an instance, so tedious he thought the machines would be that he rejected the abundant experiences from his mother though his mother is a very successful engineer. Since what he was interested was venture capital, he finally chose to follow his heart and becamethe founder of SpaceX, which develops and produces space lunch vehicles with low cost but high reliability.Of course, he(his) achievements were far more than the above. He once said that he was about to retire on Mas(Mars)! Imagine that, if Elon Musk had(来个倒装, had Elon Musk)chosen to be an engineer, everything might be different. Thus, I absolutely believe thatit’s so important for parents to respect on children’s interest(children’s willingness should be given precedence over other factors).



In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that if a whole family choose the similar jobs, it would certainly have some negative effects, for example, their knowledge scopes will be limited since they are all familiar with the same region. They may become severely bruised and battered when facing all kinds of unusual problems. What is worse, they will face the risk of unemployment if the industrysuffers from depression.It is just due to that no one from the family can successfully do well in other industries. It is,in the sense,reasonable to say that choosing different jobs may be a better choice between family members.

Taking into account the above analysis,we may safely come to the conclusion that children should follow their heart to pursue dreams rather than choose the similar jobs with their parents, especially when they really do not like it. It also can reduce the risk of the whole family.

-- by 会员 正儿八经潜水 (2012/9/18 8:35:46)

恩恩，改得已经很好啦，喜欢那个doctor的例子，不过various problems，可以再来点details，such as dealing with interpersonal relationship, how to get a promotion, etc; bruised and battered这两个词很生动，赞一个~

正儿八经潜水

10.9.独立
It's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices (such as swimming pool, playgrounds)赞成反对题

One major difference between the government expenditure in the emphasis on buildings gives rise to an issue of whether it's more important for the government to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational devices such as swimming pool and playgrounds. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue as well as my experiences leads me to hold a positive attitude towards the opinion that building art museums and music performance center is as important as building recreational devices. After all, neither pushing spiritually literate nor enriching recreation can be omitted in the contemporary society.

The first reason coming to my mind is that many people gradually have a graceful disposition and a refined style of conservation after they are exposure to art or music for a long time. They always pay more attention to spiritual communication and stories closely linking to a painting or a song usually arouse a resonance for them. Take my friend Perilla as an instance, she originally had no sense of art until she one day entered an art museum occasionally. What surprised me was that she uncompromisingly gave up her original major after going back to school and finally chose art as her future development plan. Later she told me that she was just shocked by one painting combining Impressionism and Realism.

What is equally important is the fact that in the real life every day people have to face so many kinds of stress of monotonous work, study or something else except enjoying art or music that variety becomes the necessary spice of life. Recreational devices such as swimming pools and playgrounds exactly provide an available approach for people to relax the pressure. In addition, nowadays people who have a gift for sports activities prefer to take sports causes as their career rather than consider them as just recreation in the traditional view. In this sense, building recreational devices such as swimming pools and playgrounds is absolutely not dispensable. To some extent, sports are a kind of art.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that art, music as well as sports can help us understand differences between Chinese and foreign cultures better. In the process of culture communication and exchange, we can take the essence and discard the dregs to push national’s literate spiritually and to invigorate national’s health effectively. As the old saying goes, only by increasing both the intrinsic and extrinsic power can a country thrive and blossom in the long run. Therefore, it is really hard to say which is more important in terms of the government expenditure on building art museums and music performance center or recreational devices.

Well, in a nutshell, we may safely come to the conclusion that all the above kinds of buildings are  important. Art and music can show the inner while some recreation can show the external. Neither one can be omitted.