正儿八经潜水的作文贴，诚心互批，共同进步！

xiumu2280

11月29日 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

One major difference among people’s/可以用individuals'代替 opinions in the emphasis on happiness gives rise to an issue, whether job has more effect on happiness than social life does. My reflection on the relevant elements of the issue, as well as my experiences, leads me to hold an attitude that,这个逗号 happiness is more affected by job than social life.（最后一句表明自己观点的句子，相当不错，学习了）

The first reason coming to my mind is that, people spend most of their time on working rather than social life. It goes without saying that, in most cases, their mood is closely collected to their jobs. People who like their jobs and enjoy everyday working tend to have access to happiness whereas those who take on enormous working pressure usually feel unhappy(这句的转折前半句写成The majority of people后半句those few有个人数上对比吧，这样显得充分一点，个人感觉） . What is more important is that, they have to keep on working for quiet a long time with a good or bad mood every weekday. However, time spent on social life is much shorter, and usually just for release pressure rather than achieve happiness.

What is equally important is the fact that, to most people, job means survival and survival is the prerequisite（很好） of happiness. There is no doubt that, the topic of happiness will be no meaningful if a person can not/cannot get a job. Just take beggars for instance, they have to worry about survival every day. Will you collet the word happiness to them? It is obvious that your answer is no. (这段说理感觉不是很充分，后面和survival没什么联系了）In terms of social life, such as doing exercise in a gym or going to a concert , they are dispensable in people’s life. Especially in the modern society, some workaholics who have no social life can get enough happiness only though working（这里改成workaholics who need to struggle for food or habitat and almost no social life不好说的时候，直接写一个research).

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that, job can bring people the sense of achievement as well as help them realize individual values so that people will feel happy. As is known to all, many people choose a job because the job carries/accompanies(这个词也是我刚看到的，用在这里感觉还算合适） their dreams. Take my friend Tim for example, he had dreamed of becoming a scientist since he was a kid and his dream came true after graduation. Even though he must put up with baldness and face failure again and again when doing research, he said it was really the happiest moment every time he made a little/brilliant breakthrough. It is obvious that social life can not bring people such happiness.

Well, in a nutshell, we may safely come to the conclusion that, job indeed has more effect on happiness than social life does. Because people have to spend most of their time on working. Besides, job means survival and survival is the prerequisite of happiness. What’s more, achievements in a job can bring people happiness which social life can’t.

写的很不错了，比较通顺，用词和词组也很丰富。
说理的时候思路似乎不是很清晰。
字数也没问题。
GOOD LUCK!

正儿八经潜水

11.30.独立
Disagree or agree: It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

One major difference among individuals’ opinions in the emphasis on honesty gives rise to an issue, whether it is impossible to be completely honest with friends. My reflection on the relevant elements of the issue, as well as my experiences, leads me to hold an attitude that, being completely honest with friends is indeed impossible because sometimes we have no choice but to be a liar.

The first reason coming to my mind is that, sometimes we lie to friends just for avoiding unnecessary misunderstanding which usually makes us lose friends inadvertently. Take myself for instance, one day during last summer vacation, I was invited to attend a theme party organized by my best friend Tim. I was in a dilemma when receiving the invitation. I know Tim is full of enthusiasm about such parties and he must have devoted a lot to that one, but I really do not want to go there because I wish the quiet vacation would not be erupted. The final solution was ling to Tim, telling him that I had to take care of my sick grandpa.

What is equally important is the fact that, making a white lie can encourage friends and reduce their psychological pressure, especially to friends who are facing a huge test in life. As is known to all, some cancer sufferers die not only due to the cancer itself but more due to their fragile state of mind. It is sad but true. Maybe you have a friend who is suffering from a uncurable disease. But all people will just tell them that condition is getting better and encourage them to fight against the disease. Sometimes miracles do appear, and they all own to the lie.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that, everybody has privacy which they do not want to mention. They are buried in their deepest hearts and are wished not to be uncovered by others, even the closest people. We must respect others’privacy, including friends’. After all, it is ordained by law. For example, kids whose parents have divorced usually escape the topic of parents when charting with friends because they do not want to touch the scar again. When asked, they always lie to friends, saying that their parents are deep in love.

Well, in a nutshell, we may safely come to the conclusion that, it is indeed impossible to be completely honest with friends. Because sometimes we have to lie to avoid misunderstanding or encourage friends. Besides, respecting others’ privacy is everybody’s obligation.

xiumu2280

11.30.独立
Disagree or agree: It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

One major difference among individuals’ opinions in the emphasis on honesty gives rise to an issue(很不错··看到这发现自己honesty和honest没区分开啊）, whether it is impossible to be completely honest with friends. My reflection on the relevant elements of the issue, as well as my experiences, leads me to hold an attitude that, being completely honest with friends is indeed impossible because sometimes we have no choice but to be a liar.

The first reason coming to my mind is that, sometimes we lie to friends just for avoiding unnecessary misunderstanding which usually makes us lose friends inadvertently. Take myself for instance, one day during last summer vacation, I was invited to attend a theme party organized by my best friend Tim. I was in a dilemma when receiving the invitation. I know Tim is full of enthusiasm about such parties and he must have devoted a lot to that one, but I really do not want to go there because I wish the quiet vacation would not be erupted. The final solution was ling/lying to Tim, telling him that I had to take care of my sick grandpa.(这里少了一句类似总结的话，像This kind of white lie is helpful to both of us)

What is equally important is the fact that, making a white lie can encourage friends and reduce their psychological pressure, especially to friends who are facing a huge test in life. As is known to all, some cancer sufferers die not only due to the cancer itself but more due to their fragile state of mind（好）. It is sad but true. Maybe you have a friend who is suffering from a uncurable disease(这里的a friend改成friends,is改成are,和下面的them对应）. But all people（around them) will just tell them that condition is getting better and encourage them to fight against the disease. Sometimes miracles do appear, and they all own/owe(owe to归功于，own to承认，还有这个they是指代的miracle的话，就是these) to the lie.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that, everybody has privacy which they do not want to mention（这句不足以做主题句，加上and a proper lie could safeguard our weak part in mind). They are buried in their deepest hearts and are wished not to be uncovered by others, even the closest people. We must respect others’privacy, including friends’. After all, it is ordained by law. For example, kids whose parents have divorced usually escape from(加） the topic of parents when charting with friends because they do not want to touch the scar again. When asked, they always lie to friends, saying that their parents are deep in love. (这个观点很好，没想到。）

Well, in a nutshell, we may safely come to the conclusion that, it is indeed impossible to be completely honest with friends. Because sometimes we have to lie to avoid misunderstanding or encourage friends. Besides, respecting others’ privacy is everybody’s obligation.

这篇不好写啊··我写着写着都感觉蒙了··
有一些短语的意思没有整清楚（我也是啊~）。
开头和结尾基本没问题。但是中间段落的结构需要加强一下。

正儿八经潜水

12月7日 独立
Do you agree or disagree: economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.

One major difference among people’s opinions in the emphasis on the the importance of economic growth and environmental concerns gives rise to an issue, that is, whether economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue, as well as my experiences, leads me to hold a attitude that it is hard to say which is more important between them.

The first reason coming to my mind is that neither protecting the environment nor developing the economy can be ignored in the contemporary society. After all, the survival of human is closely related to the environment. People can not live long in an awful environment. Having access to a fine environment has been the consistent and permanent goal of countries all over the world. However, we must also commit that economy is essential for enforcement of any regulations. It is obvious that regulations about protecting the environment can’t be enforced without money.

What is equally important is the fact that the unbalanced attention paid to economic growth and environmental concerns will lead to the unbalanced development of the whole society. Just take my mother country China as an example, since the reform and opening up, the past three decades has witnessed China’s rapid economic development, which has shocked the whole world. However, it is a great pity that our environment has been deeply destroyed because of enormous waste of resources and emission of pollutants. Then, ecological imbalance results in social imbalance.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that specific allocation of attention applies to specific periods. Take the economic depression for instance, the government ought to pay more attention to economic growth during the depression. Relevant government investments and economic policies are needed to stimulate the development of the economy so as to bring the recovery of the economy. The government should make the whole country to recover to its statement of the balanced, stable, and sustainable development.

Well, in a nutshell, we may safely come to the conclusion that both economic growth and environmental concerns are important and they should be paid attention to symmetrically. Besides, special circumstances need special treatment.

正儿八经潜水

12.7.TPO1

The writer of the passage thinks that working a four-day workweek would benefit the economy, the individual companies and the employees. The lecture deals with the same topic. However, the professor disagrees with the statement in the passage. In the lecture, he uses three specific points to support his idea.

First, the passage suggests that the shortened workweek would increase company profits. The professor argues that companies would spend a lot more because they have to train new employees and provide more medical benefits. Besides, more office space and computers are needed. So, companies’ profits would be cut down instead of being increased.

Moreover, in the passage the writer states that working a four-day workweek would reduce unemployment rates. The professor also does not agree with it. He says that hiring new employees would be costly. And companies have other options. They can make employees work overtime or they can expect them to do the same amount of work which they used to do in five days in four days. Then, unemployment rates would not be reduced.

Finally, the writer claims that working a four-day workweek would make employees have more free time to improve the quality of their lives. The professor asserts that employees’ quality of life would be reduced. This is because, their job stability would be reduced and they would have less chances for advancing their careers. They would be the first to lose jobs during an economic depression. Besides, companies prefer to provide promotions to five-day employees to  ensure continuous coverage and consistent supervision for the entire workweek .

麦田往事

One major difference among people’s opinions in the emphasis on the the importance of economic growth and environmental concerns gives rise to an issue, that is, whether economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue, as well as my experiences, leads me to hold aan attitude that it is hard to say which is more important between them. 我觉得可以加一句更直接的话像是 I believe that the economic growth is as important as environmental concern.

The first reason coming to my mind is that neither protecting the environment nor developing the economy can be ignored in the contemporary society. After all, the survival of human is closely related to the environment. People can notcannot live long in an awful environment觉得这样写更好一点live in a awful enviromemt for a long time. Having access to a fine environment has been the consistent and permanent goal of countries all over the world. However这里不是转折吧 用类似与 in another aspect， we must also commit that economy is essential for enforcement of any regulations. It is obvious that regulations about protecting the environment can’t be enforced without money.

What is equally important is the fact that the unbalanced attention paid to economic growth and environmental concerns will lead to the unbalanced development of the whole society. Just take my mother country China as an example, since the reform and opening up, the past three decadeswe have witnessed China’s rapid economic development in the past three decades, which has shocked the whole world. However, it is a great pity that our environment has been deeply destroyed because of enormous waste of resources and emission of pollutants. Then, ecological imbalance results in social imbalance. 这段理由特别有说服力，而且例子也很好，借鉴一下，但是最后那个从ecological unbalance 到 social unbalance 的转化没写详细

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that specific allocation of attention applies to specific periods. Take the economic depression for instance, the government ought to pay more attention to economic growth during the depression. Relevant government investments and economic policies are needed to stimulate the development of the economy so as to bring the recovery of the economy. The government should make the whole country to recover to its statement of the balanced, stable, and sustainable development.这段写的很好，但是特殊情况特殊对待好像跟同步重视经济和环境的主旨关系不大。

Well, in a nutshell, we may safely come to the conclusion that both economic growth and environmental concerns are important and they should be paid attention to symmetrically.精辟 Besides, special circumstances need special treatment.

正儿八经潜水

12月9日独立
Do you agree or disagree : The opinions of celebrities, such as certain entertainers and athletes, are more important for younger people than older people.
One major difference between people’s opinions in the emphasis on opinions of celebrities gives rise to an issue, that is, whether certain entertainers’ and athletes’ opinions are more important for younger people than older people. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue, as well as my experiences, leads me to hold an attitude that, younger people are indeed more influenced by celebrities than older people.

The first reason coming to my mind is that younger people are more enthusiastic about chasing stars and considering them as goals they are striking for. Just take my brother for instance, he has been dreaming of being a singer since he was a kid. And he admire Michael so much that he even imitate Michael’s every word and and every action, let alone Michael’s opinions about singing or something that can always arouse his resonance. In contrast, few older people are fans of celebrities, and some of them even never hear of them, not to mention being influenced by them.

What is equally important is the fact that younger people today have accepted higher education universally so that they tend to refer to opinions of celebrities when they are having problems, because celebrities are usually specialists in their own fields. Their opinions sometimes can be regarded as more scientific and professional advices to deal with all kinds of problems. As far as basketball fans are concerned, younger fans prefer to refer to athletes’ opinions about skills of practicing while those older always keep practicing in their own way, which is easy to make them hurt.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that, generally speaking, several celebrities are the great people of the past and their opinions are precious wealth. To younger people, they are the future of our motherland, so they ought to absorb the opinions to avoid detours in the future. Take my mother country China as an example, she changes her role from a medal grand country to a sport great power during recent years. Gone forever have been the days when China was labeled as the "Sick Man of Asia".To some extent, this change owe to our great athletes so that their opinions are absolutely important to younger people who have a career in sports.

Well, in a nutshell, we may safely come to the conclusion that celebrities’ opinions are more important for younger people than older people. Because the younger are more likely to admire celebrities and refer to their opinion. Besides, celebrities’ opinions are usually precious wealth deserving absorbed by younger people.

45573asdasd

Do you agree or disagree : The opinions of celebrities, such as certain entertainers and athletes, are more important for younger people than older people.
One major difference between people’s opinions in the emphasis on opinions of celebrities gives rise to an issue, that is, whether certain entertainers’ and athletes’ opinions are more important for younger people than older people. My reflection on the relevant elements of this issue, as well as my experiences, leads me to hold an attitude that, younger people are indeed more influenced by celebrities than older people. （真好，无错误，且华丽）

The first reason coming to my mind is that younger people are more enthusiastic about chasing stars and considering them as goals they are striking for. Just take my brother for as an instance, he has been dreaming of being a singer since he was a kid. And he admired Michael so much that he even imitate Michael’s every word and and every action,Let(句子与句子之间用句号) alone Michael’s opinions about singing or something that can always arouse his resonance. In contrast, few older people are fans of celebrities, and some of them even never hear of them, not to mention being influenced by them.

What is equally important is the fact that younger people today have accepted higher education universally so that they tend to refer to opinions of celebrities when they are having problems, because celebrities are usually specialists in their own fields. Their opinions sometimes can be regarded as more scientific and professional advices to deal with all kinds of problems. As far as basketball fans are concerned, younger fans prefer to refer to athletes’ opinions about skills of practicing while those older people always keep practicing in their own way, which is easy to make them hurt.

In addition to the above reasons, another point I want to make about this topic is that, generally speaking, several celebrities are the great people of theare prec past and their opinions ious wealth（没看懂）. To younger people, they are the future of our motherland, so they ought to absorb the opinions to avoid detours in the future. Take my mother country China as an example, she changes her role from a medal grand country to a sport great power（这样说好怪啊，啊country whose sports aregood会不会好点 ） during recent years. Gone forever have been the days when China was labeled as the "Sick Man of Asia".To some extent, this change owes to our great athletes so that their opinions are absolutely important to younger people who have a career in sports.

Well, in a nutshell, we may safely come to the conclusion that celebrities’ opinions are more important for younger people than older people. Because the younger are more likely to admire celebrities and refer to their opinion. Besides, celebrities’ opinions are usually precious wealth deserving to be absorbed by younger people.

我觉得我的水平很难给你改，真的写的太好了，而且很华丽， 如果你这是在30分钟内完成的真的很厉害了，但是我总觉得你通篇都是长句，会不会让人读起来很累？穿插些短句子会不会好点。学习了！

正儿八经潜水

正儿八经潜水

我是不限时，而且查资料哦，还要加油