付图图的作文帖 求调教！！求蹂躏！！

fuzhengrui

9月2日
综合写作：
TPO7
The reading material opposes adopting new, ecologically friendly practices to receive ecocertification for American companies. The lecturer, however, holds the view that it does have its benefits for the following three reasons.
First, Americans are able to see the difference among advertisements. Although quite a few advertisements which are aimed to stimulate the consumption of products are shown every day, American people are still willing to trust advertisements about ecocertification.
Second, the price of wood will only affect the market if it is either too high or too low. The customers will not care about the price if the differences between different kinds of wood are within 5 percent. They place more emphasis on the value rather than how much it costs.
Third, international companies will crowd in American market if American companies don't pursue certification. As mentioned above, American people are eager to buy ecocertified wood to benefit the environment. If so, lots of profit will go into the pockets of people from other countries, which Americans don't want to see. Therefore, it is necessary that Americans take actions to protect their market.

fuzhengrui

9.1独立写作

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else.


Everyone has his own definition of success, but I think being a guru such as Steve Jobs and a superstar such as Kobe Bryant can absolutely be regarded as a sign of success. It is their uniqueness that makes them stand out from ordinary people. Thus, I argue that being different from others enables one to achieve success.



When we mention Steve Jobs, his unique and even eccentric personalities come to our mind. He is dictatorial, tough, notoriously difficult to work for. Before IPhone came out, he demanded that the thickness of IPhone be less and less, which drove his entire staff mad. He wanted to increase the level of brightness of Ipad more and more no matter what difficulties they were confronted. Those seem incredible and crazy, without which those gadgets would have never come into existence or changed our lives. Steve was in chase of simplicity, humanization and perfection. His ripping into others even sets up enemies for him. But with those unique personalities, the Apple products are able to blow away the market every time when a new product comes out. Steve's intolerance to be mediocre along with his perseverance helps him to accomplish such feats.



Another man, Kobe Bryant, also has something different which made him a superstar-his ambition as well as revenge. Influenced by his father, Kobe has attached his great affection to basketball since he was three. After that, his ambition and craziness were out of control. He threw himself in the basketball courts and gyms and trained like torture. He used to start training at seven in the morning and go home at nine in the evening all on his own. If you managed to beat him in a game, which sounds impossible, he would work harder and harder to beat you the next time. It is the amazingly huge ambition which ordinary people lack that make Kobe outstanding.



Admittedly, Steve and Kobe have something special, but that does not mean that special people are bound to be equally successful as them. Quite a few teenagers just look unique and even weird: they dye their hair pink or green, or have their ears and mouths pierced, or even cover their bodies with tattoos. Those are all about extrinsic uniqueness, but what makes Steve and Kobe going is the intrinsic. Their intrinsic uniqueness, with the help of their talent and diligence, determines their great achievements.



To sum up, I would like to say that we should develop more unique personalities to succeed like Steve Jobs and Kobe Bryant. These personalities which make them the success distinguish them from the public and even other less successful people.

fuzhengrui

Everyone has his own definition of success, but I think being a guru such as Steve Jobs and a superstar such as Kobe Bryant can absolutely be regarded as a sign of success. It is their uniqueness that makes them stand out from ordinary people. Thus, I argue that being different from others enables one to achieve success.



When we mention Steve Jobs, his amazing creativity and eccentric personalities come to our mind. He is dictatorial, tough, notoriously difficult to work for but full of new ideas. Before IPhone came out, he demanded that the thickness of IPhone be less and less, which drove his entire staff mad. On the iphone’s launch event in 2007, the world was dazzled by this sexy and functional gadget and it later on turned out to be a huge success. IPhone facilitates our life, making it easier for us to enjoy music privately. But here is a problem. Many users download the pirate versions of music, depriving the profits of singers and composers. Steve then invented the App store where users get a song for one dollar each to perfectly solve the problem. He was in chase of simplicity, humanization and perfection all the time. His ripping into others even sets up enemies for him. But with creativity and unique personalities, the Apple products are able to blow away the market every time when a new product comes out. Steve's intolerance to be mediocre along with his creativity helps him to accomplish such feats.



Another man, Kobe Bryant, also has something different which made him a superstar-his ambition as well as revenge. Influenced by his father, Kobe has attached his great affection to basketball since he was three. After that, his ambition and craziness were out of control. He threw himself in the basketball courts and gyms and trained like torture. When asked about how he became a superstar, Kobe said he knows exactly what the Los Angeles City like in four o’clock in the morning. Besides, if someone managed to beat him in a game, which sounds impossible, he would work harder and harder to beat him the next time. It is the amazingly huge ambition and extraordinary endurance which ordinary people lack that make Kobe outstanding.



Admittedly, Steve and Kobe indeed have something special, but that does not mean that special people are bound to be equally successful as them. Quite a few teenagers merely look unique and even weird: they dye their hair pink or green, or have their ears and mouths pierced, or even cover their bodies with tattoos. Those are all about extrinsic uniqueness, but what makes Steve and Kobe going is the intrinsic. Their intrinsic uniqueness, with the help of their creativity and hard work, determines their remarkable achievements.

To sum up, I would like to say that we should develop more unique personalities to succeed like Steve Jobs and Kobe Bryant. It is these personalities that make them the success distinguish them from the public.

Stegosaurus

9.1 综合修改
我错了，我把分组情况给搞错了。。。。。。。。。。。
The reading material argues that the communal online encyclopedias have three main drawbacks which make it inferior to traditional printed ones. The lecturer, however, holds the view that the reasons given by the reading are not convincing in the three following aspects.
First, neither of the two kinds of encyclopedias is perfect and there will never be. When errors may exist in both of them, the communal online version is better than the other because its errors can be corrected more easily. And it will be ages when the errors in traditional one are corrected.
Second, the online encyclopedia is not so prone to being fabricated, deleted or corrupted by hackers. All the materials are in read-only format which indicates that only authorized people can change them. Besides, special editor are available to monitor the changes of encyclopedias. They can correct them as soon as they were viciously edited.
Third, the communal online encyclopedias are able to provide insightful views rather than trivia from experts. The limited space on the webpages makes the group of academics to express their insightful opinions with fewer words. Besides, experts from different fields are good at providing diversified angles towards the topics. Therefore, the communal online encyclopedias have both a great diversity as well as insightful views.

第三段观点有点问题好像，听力说的是variety，真实和反映了人们的兴趣，没有关于insightful views的
全篇没有什么大的语法错误，还是很好的

safeandsound

Most of us have to be exposed to increasingly fierce competition either at work or at school due to the raised expectations from bosses or parents. What is even worse is that (Worse still,) sometimes we inevitably hit the wall hard and feel devastated.(竞争激烈和失落是递进关系吗？觉得有点别扭) Thus, relaxation seems much more important than ever before for the simple reason that it refreshes us, allows us to work more effectively as well as shakes things up. Personally, I prefer to have (play) sports rather than watch movies or read books for the following reasons.


Engaging in sports means living a healthier life both physically and mentally. It is not rear (rare) in our life that we are pushed to the sidelines but we don't know how to solve the problems. Things may not go well if we just sit there and twist our brains. Wandering or jogging outside is a good (better) idea, because when we do that, we can also take in fresh air which helps us think. Then lights may go off(弱弱的问一下，这个短语是什么意思？) and solutions come to our minds. At the same time, our strength is enhanced and we free ourselves from headaches (这个应该和上文所说的“帮助思考”在同一层面上的吧、、不应该是at the same time; 最好改成Besides freeing ourselves from headaches/problems, our strength is enhanced at the same time), which benefits us physically and mentally (如果上一句改了的话，顺序也应变成mentally and physically).


Not only does sport exert favorable influences on our health, but it also plays an important role in our social life. (过渡句很好)When we throw ourselves in the swimming pools where there are lots of people (are 不知道这样改对不对,但原来的说法觉得不是很正确), we are able to make new friends and chat with them. Or when we play soccer in a team, we are likely to use body languages or words to convey our thoughts. Those are other possible ways for us to forget our tedious and stressful work. What is more important is that we may stumble on good advice or hints about our jobs from other teammates.(亲，加个总结会不会更好呢?像上一段似的、、)


Admittedly, reading books and watching movies are not bad ways to relieve ourselves. However, we are not sure that we pick up the right book or movie before we start. We will definitely feel more miserable instead of released if we watch a movie like The Titanic or read a book about deception(举个例子是不是更好？类似Macbeth). Only after reading or watching can we realize whether they are suitable for us. Therefore, books and movies don’t work as effectively as sports.

To sum up, I would like to choose having sports as a way to relax because it promotes my socialization as well as health simultaneously.


总体来说不错
很多短语用的很地道、准确，一看就是积累过的


第一段相对之后的论述有点长了，可以缩短一些，或给后文增加字数
有些小地方逻辑不太对，但不影响理解，应该没什么大碍

fuzhengrui

Most of us have to be exposed to increasingly fierce competition either at work or at school due to the raised expectations from bosses or parents. Worse still（这个改的好）, sometimes we inevitably hit the wall hard and feel devastated(这个词有点太过了，depressed可能更好). Thus, relaxation seems much more important than ever before for the simple reason that it refreshes us, allows us to work more effectively as well as shakes things up. Personally, I prefer to have sports rather than watch movies or read books for the following reasons.

Engaging in sports means living a healthier life both physically and mentally. It is not rare（拼写错误） in our life that we are pushed to the sidelines but we don't know how to solve the problems. Things may not go well if we just sit there and twist our brains. Wandering or jogging outside is a good idea because when we do that, we can also take in fresh air which helps us think. Then lights may go off and solutions come to our minds. Besides(一开始用得连接词不太好), our strength is enhanced and we free ourselves from headaches, which benefits us physically and mentally.

Not only does sport exert favorable influences on our health, but it also plays an important role in our social life. When we throw ourselves in the swimming pools where there are lots of people, we are able to make new friends and chat with them. Or when we play soccer in a team, we are likely to use body languages or words to convey our thoughts. Those are other possible ways for us to forget our tedious and stressful work. What is more important is that we may stumble on good advice or hints about our jobs from other teammates. Therefore, sports may relax ourselves and promote our efficiency by allowing us to make friends.（加个总结句）

Admittedly, reading books and watching movies are not bad ways to relieve ourselves. However, we are not sure that we pick up the right book or movie before we start. We will definitely feel more miserable instead of released if we watch a movie like The Titanic or read The tragedy of Helmet(与泰坦尼克对应，悲剧，让人心情沉痛的). Only after reading or watching can we realize whether they are suitable for us. Therefore, books and movies don’t work as effectively as sports.

To sum up, I would like to choose having sports as a way to relax because it promotes my socialization as well as health simultaneously.

Most of us have to be exposed to increasingly fierce competition either at work or at school due to the raised expectations from bosses or parents. What is even worse is that (Worse still,) sometimes we inevitably hit the wall hard and feel devastated.(竞争激烈和失落是递进关系吗？觉得有点别扭) Thus, relaxation seems much more important than ever before for the simple reason that it refreshes us, allows us to work more effectively as well as shakes things up. Personally, I prefer to have (play) sports rather than watch movies or read books for the following reasons.


Engaging in sports means living a healthier life both physically and mentally. It is not rear (rare) in our life that we are pushed to the sidelines but we don't know how to solve the problems. Things may not go well if we just sit there and twist our brains. Wandering or jogging outside is a good (better) idea, because when we do that, we can also take in fresh air which helps us think. Then lights may go off(弱弱的问一下，这个短语是什么意思？) and solutions come to our minds. At the same time, our strength is enhanced and we free ourselves from headaches (这个应该和上文所说的“帮助思考”在同一层面上的吧、、不应该是at the same time; 最好改成Besides freeing ourselves from headaches/problems, our strength is enhanced at the same time), which benefits us physically and mentally (如果上一句改了的话，顺序也应变成mentally and physically).


Not only does sport exert favorable influences on our health, but it also plays an important role in our social life. (过渡句很好)When we throw ourselves in the swimming pools where there are lots of people (are 不知道这样改对不对,但原来的说法觉得不是很正确), we are able to make new friends and chat with them. Or when we play soccer in a team, we are likely to use body languages or words to convey our thoughts. Those are other possible ways for us to forget our tedious and stressful work. What is more important is that we may stumble on good advice or hints about our jobs from other teammates.(亲，加个总结会不会更好呢?像上一段似的、、)


Admittedly, reading books and watching movies are not bad ways to relieve ourselves. However, we are not sure that we pick up the right book or movie before we start. We will definitely feel more miserable instead of released if we watch a movie like The Titanic or read a book about deception(举个例子是不是更好？类似Macbeth). Only after reading or watching can we realize whether they are suitable for us. Therefore, books and movies don’t work as effectively as sports.

To sum up, I would like to choose having sports as a way to relax because it promotes my socialization as well as health simultaneously.


总体来说不错
很多短语用的很地道、准确，一看就是积累过的


第一段相对之后的论述有点长了，可以缩短一些，或给后文增加字数
有些小地方逻辑不太对，但不影响理解，应该没什么大碍

-- by 会员 safeandsound (2012/9/3 9:06:30)

fuzhengrui

9.3综合写作
TPO8

The reading material questions the accuracy of Chevalier de Seingalt's memoir, arguing that some events were distorted or even invented. The lecturer, however, holds the view that his memoir is based on his experience for the following three reasons.

First, borrowing money does not necessarily mean his poverty. In Switzerland, parties and gambling were so demanding that Chevalier had to convert his property to cash. And that required time to complete. Therefore, Chevalier borrowed money from a Swiss merchant.

Second, it is Chevalier's taking notes every time after the conversation that determines the accuracy of the conversations between Chevalier and Voltaire. Some of his friends confirmed that he often consulted the notes to write the memoir several years later, which proves the accuracy.

Third, he must not have escape the Venetian prison by bribing jailers for the simple reason that even other prisoners, who were in better connection with powerful politicians, failed to do so. Besides, the government reported that the ceiling was repaired after Chevalier's escape. Those two pieces of evidence indicate that it was much more likely for him to escape by climbing the roof.

fuzhengrui

Do you agree with the following statement? It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than save money for the future.



Traveling to other places is appealing to many people who have to suffer from great pressure at either work or school. The traveling population has been skyrocketing for the last decade thanks to increasing quality of life. Personally, I am inclined to travel rather than save money.



Traveling is unforgettable experience in our life, without which our life would be boring and tedious. My uncle and aunt are definitely fanatic about traveling. They went to Italy on the yearly break, toured in Japan during the Spring Festival and also enjoyed the fabulous views in Egypt in July. They all had very good time, experienced different culture, made warm-hearted friends and took lots of pictures which will become their treasure when they get old. They regard these trips to different parts of the world as lubricant that enables them to work more efficiently in the future.



Traveling is not always a period of time when we spend our money like water. Apart from the precious experience, we can even earn money from the trips. My friend Zhang is senior and she is eager to find a job or internship to make herself occupied. Last summer vacation, she spent all the time on the trip to Europe. During the trip, she stumbled on a chance to be a waitress in the local restaurant. She didn’t need to work on weekends so she wandered around to experience local culture and get a better understanding of people there. She managed herself very well and wasted no money. In the end of the trip, she even earned one hundred Euro. So traveling doesn’t mean spending money all the time.



While I believe that spending our money on our trip is a good idea, we should be aware of the importance of budgeting before we set off. Another friend of mine, Liu, lives in a very wealthy family and has money to burn. Wherever he goes, he spends the entire trip in the local five-star hotels. So convenient and luxury the hotels are that he is even unwilling to go outside and explore the city or sniff around. That kind of trip, I think, is nothing but a waste of money as well as time.



To sum up, I prefer travelling because we should explore the rest of our amazing world as long as we have the chances. And money is meant to be spent. If we just sit there and worry about what emergency we will encounter or what a huge amount of money will cost during the trip, our life is no longer colorful or exciting. So from my perspective, traveling is the better choice over saving money.

xeyyxzty

我也给你看看话说你的词汇很高级哟


Traveling to other places is appealing to manypeople who have to suffer from great pressure at either work or school. The traveling population(你确定这个对？我不了解~不过个人觉得有点怪…) has beenskyrocketing for the last decade thanks to increasingquality of life(这个和旅游没有直接关系吧，个人认为如果换成薪水提高感觉会更恰当). Personally, I am inclined to travel rather than save money.



Traveling is unforgettable experience in our life, without which our life wouldbe boring and tedious. My uncle and aunt are definitely fanatic abouttraveling. They went to Italy on the yearly break, toured in Japan during theSpring Festival and also enjoyed the fabulous views in Egypt in July. They all（亲~用both吧~两个人哟） had a very good time,experienced different cultures, made warm-hearted friends and took lots ofpictures which will（时态要一致吧，would?） become their treasure when they get old. Theyregard these trips to different parts of the world as lubricant that enablesthem to work more efficiently in the future.



Traveling is not always a period of time whenwe spend our money like water (美国人这么说吗？). Apart from the precious experience, we caneven earn money from the trips. My friend Zhang is senior and she is eager tofind a job or internship to make herself occupied. In her Last summer vacation, she spent all the time on the trip to Europe.During the trip, she stumbled on a chance to be a waitress in the localrestaurant. She didn’t need to work on weekends so she wandered around toexperience local culture and get (got) abetter understanding of people there. She managed herself very well and wasted no money.(这个，前面不是说赚钱嘛，怎么跑到浪费钱上面了？) In the end of the trip, she even earned one hundred Euro（难道不用复数吗？）. So traveling doesn’t mean spending money allthe time.



While I believe that spending our money on our trip （为什么要用两个our呢）is a good idea, we should be aware of the importance of budgetingbefore we set off. Another friend of mine, Liu, lives in a very wealthy familyand has money to burn.（弱弱的问…美国人也这么说吗？） Wherever he goes, hespends the entire trip in the local five-star hotels（我明白你的意思，但是应该不这么写吧，he usually lives in the local five-star hotels when he goes on a trip怎么样呢？抛砖引玉啦）. So convenient and luxury the hotels are that he is even unwilling togo outside and （用to表示目的如何？）explore the city or sniff around（这个提到前面，outside后面感觉更好）. That kind of trip, I think, is nothing but awaste of money as well as time.



To sum up, I prefer travelling because weshould explore the rest of our amazing world as long as we have the chances.And money is meant to be spent. If we just sit there and worry about whatemergency we will encounter or what a huge amount of money will cost during thetrip, our life is no longer colorful or exciting. So from my perspective,traveling is the better choice over saving money.

332211abc

tpo7
The reading material opposes adopting new, ecologically friendly practices to receive ecocertification for American companies.(逻辑有问题，文章中说美国公司不愿意用环保认证，你说的是文章反对美国公司用环保认证) The lecturer, however, holds the view that it does have its benefits for the following three reasons.
First, Americans are able to see the difference among advertisements. Although quite a few advertisements which are aimed to stimulate the consumption of products are shown every day, American people are still willing to trust advertisements about ecocertification. （遗漏信息，第三方认证增加可信度没说）
Second, the price of wood will only affect the market if it is either too high or too low. The customers will not care about the price if the differences between different kinds of wood are within 5 percent. They place more emphasis on the value（用词有问题，value是价值的意思，意义雷同于价格，应该用quantity或者differentia） rather than how much it costs.
Third, international companies will crowd in American market if American companies don't pursue certification. As mentioned above, American people are eager to buy ecocertified wood to benefit the environment. If so, lots of profit will go into the pockets of people from other countries,(profit指公司利润，用个人不对。另外听力中没提到profit的流向) which Americans don't want to see. Therefore, it is necessary that Americans take actions to protect their market.