付图图的作文帖 求调教！！求蹂躏！！

fuzhengrui

8-31日正式开始
求大神蹂躏我的作文
下面一篇是我瞎写的

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Universities and colleges are fantastic places where students pursue further study and develop their interests as well as abilities. Classes and libraries provide the knowledge for study or research while sports and social activities offer other possibilities to students' careers. From my perspective, these two aspects are equally important, thus they should receive equal attention and financial support.

If a university or college were equipped with advanced research facilities and experienced professors but no playground or court, it wouldn't be considered as a top school.Stanford has been universally acknowledged as the top universities in the world, and it's basketball team is one of the best teams among American universities. This university has done a lot to encourage their students to engage in different sports, and some of their athletes stand out, which in turn gains fame for Stanford.

The universities, which teach their students different talent and skills and make them outstanding in several fields, can be regarded as good universities. Tim Duncan, a distinguished center in NBA, graduated from Wake Forest University with a psychology degree. He didn't choose to continue his career in psychology but has been playing basketball for Spurs since his graduation. So excellently he shows the dominance as a center on basketball court that most people fail to remember his psychological background. At present, basketball is his whole life. However, several years later when he has to retire, he can choose to be a psychological doctor as his second job.Wake Forest University provided Tim Duncan the opportunity to continue his basketball career, without which he might have not been worldwide known.

Admittedly, sports and social activities play important roles in universities and colleges, classes and libraries have their own significance. You can imagine what the world would be if all universities and colleges no longer place the emphasis on academic research and libraries. In that case, the whole country would fall. In a word, science and technologies are the main two factors used to evaluate one nation’s power.

To conclude, the government should finance equally in classes and libraries as well as sports and social activities.

CCcarol

来顶一个先~

fuzhengrui

哈哈谢谢

fuzhengrui

8月31日
综合写作：
TPO5
The reading material provides us three possible explanations about the function of the great houses which distinguish the settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico. The lecturer, however, holds the view that none of these explanations are convincing for the following three aspects respectively.
First, the houses cannot have been for residential use due to the lack of fireplaces. These houses indeed look like apartments outside. However, the absence of fireplaces negates this explanation because without fire to cook, people couldn't manage to live through.
Second, the grand houses cannot have been used for food storage either. Despite the fact that the grain maize, a long-lasting supply of food, could be stored for long time without going bad, there were no signs of split grains or huge containers. In other words, people at that time didn't store food in these houses.
Third, the enormous mound formed by a pile of old material doesn't necessarily mean that the houses served as a ceremonial function. Besides the pots, building materials such as sand and stone were also found, which indicates that there may not be any ceremonies. The old material could be the mixture of construction trash as well as pots which were thrown away by workers.

fuzhengrui

8月31日
独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who go out from their village will be more successful and happier than people who stay in their village?

The definitions of success and happiness vary from person to person. For most people from villages, success is the symbol of contributing a lot to the society along with making loads of money. And that makes them feel happy and satisfied in their daily life. The twenty-first century has been witnessing the flood of villagers from their hometown to big cities. Some of them do very well while others don’t. The problem is: can every villager be devoted to work and achieve the success and gain the happiness here? In that sense, I prefer this issue to be discussed respectively in three parts: competent and diligent villagers, lazy villagers and ambitious but undetermined villagers.
Big cities provide numerous opportunities as well as challenges for everyone. Cities demand people from every field to keep it running efficiently. Some people are excellent in cooking and a restaurant may be an ideal place for them; those who are physically strong may be needed in a construction site; people gifted for performances are in the need of plays and TV programs. In a word, they have a clear sense of his guts and instinct. As long as they keep their envisions intact, there are always positions where they can fly high on the success as well as earn a huge amount of money. And that in turn makes them successful and happy. They are welcomed to big cities.
However, quite a few villagers are aimless, detracted, and ambitionless. They come into metropolis for the only reason that they are too lazy to work in the fields. So they are forced to leave their hometown without a goal. In big cities where the survival is for the fittest, everyone has his own craft. Therefore, they fail to protect their livelihood. It is likely that they are pushed to sidelines with nothing they can do about it. They would not be in such a dilemma if they didn't go to big cities. But they cannot live a good life in the village or anywhere either.
For villagers who are eager to achieve something but lack persistence, going to big cities is not a wise choice either. Indeed, these people are able to find decent jobs and make some money. However, their salaries are insufficient to pay for the rent of apartments because the house prices have been skyrocketing for the past three years in big cities. Thus, it is likely that they do their best but cannot have a good life here. So expensive the apartments and commodities are that their quality of life decreases dramatically. The cruelty of reality deprives them of their possibilities of living in big cities, but most of them are reluctant to go back because they still want to pursue a better life here instead of being a laughing stock of other villagers. The difference between the requirements of living and their abilities blocks their way. For these people, living and working in their hometown is the best choice.
To sum up, I hold the view that whether one villager can be successful and happiness depends on how hard-working and competent he is. After all, big cities are places where the survival is for the fittest.

fairyfinger

绿色为总结 红色为错误蓝色为建议黄色高亮为精彩
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who go out from their village will be more successful and happier than people who stay in their village?

The definitions of success and happiness vary from person to person. For most people from villages, success is the symbol of contributing a lot to the society along with making loads of money. And that makes them feel happy and satisfied in their daily life. The twenty-first century has been witnessing the floods of villagers from their hometown to big cities. Some of them do very well while others don’t. The problem is: can every villager be devoted to work and （一个句子里面只能有一个and，这里最好改成逗号）achieve the success and gain the happiness here? In that sense, I prefer this issue to be discussed respectively in three parts: competent and diligent villagers, lazy villagers and ambitious but undetermined villagers.

Big cities provide numerous opportunities as well as challenges for everyone. Cities demand people from every field to keep it running efficiently. Some people are excellent in cooking and a restaurant may be an ideal place for them; those who are physically strong may be needed in a construction site; people gifted for performances are in the need of plays and TV programs. In a word, they have a clear sense of his（这两个代词分别指什么？没说明白） guts and instinct. As long as they keep their envisions intact（LZ这里想说的是第一类人把？我觉得这个词用得和dilligent.competent不是很一致，LZ可以再明确一点用更相近的词。毕竟阅卷老师没有太多时间去琢磨～）, there are always positions where they can fly high on the success as well as earn a huge amount of money. And that in turn makes them successful and happy. They are welcomed to big cities.

However, quite a few villagers are aimless, detracted, and ambitionless. They come into metropolis for the only reason that they are too lazy to work in the fields. So they are forced to leave their hometown without a goal. In big cities where the survival is for the fittest, everyone has his own craft. Therefore, they fail to protect their livelihood. It is likely that they are pushed to sidelines with nothing they can do about it（with nothing to do）. They would not be in such a dilemma if they didn't go to big cities. But they cannot live a good life in the village or anywhere either.（这句话虽然说得不错，但是和题目不是很有联系，还是应该删掉得好）

For villagers who are eager to achieve something but lack persistence, going to big cities is not a wise choice either. Indeed, these people are able to find decent jobs and make some money. However, their salaries are insufficient to pay for the rent （for paying the rent) of apartments because the house prices have been skyrocketing for the past three years in big cities. Thus, it is likely that they do their best but cannot have a good life here. So expensive the apartments and commodities are (are the。。。that。。这句型应该这么用的）that their quality of life decreases dramatically. The cruelty of reality deprives them of their possibilities of living in big cities, but most of them are reluctant to go back because they still want to pursue a better life here instead of being a laughing stock of other villagers（我觉得这个有点偏激了，还是不要吧？每个人留在城市的原因不一样，不是只有这一种～～）. The difference（用gap更准确点吧） between the requirements of living （加in big cities ）and their abilities blocks their way. For these people, living and working in their hometown is the best choice.

To sum up, I hold the view that whether one /a villager can be successful and happiness depends on how hard-working and competent he is. After all, big cities are places where the survival is for the fittest. （only the fittest can survive更顺点）
（
总的来说你的思路不错，不过托福其实比较喜欢一边倒，你可以自己抉择一下。我是觉得形式不是最主要的，关键是内容好不好吧。另外词汇和句型也不错，就是有些地方可以稍微简化一点，更精准一点。
然后就是有些不相关的内容记得要果断舍弃掉啊。总之第一篇能写成这样已经很好了XD～继续加油吧！！

sherryzhangh

Thereading material provides us three possible explanations about the function ofthe great houses, which （which 最好断句，要不然就用that）distinguishthe settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico. The lecturer, however, holds theview that none of these explanations are convincing for the following threeaspects respectively.

First, thehouses cannot have been for residential use due to the lack of fireplaces.These houses indeed look like apartments from the outside.However, the absence of fireplaces negates this explanation because withoutfire to cook, people couldn't manage to live through.

Second,the grand houses cannot have been used for food storage either. Despite thefact that the grain maize, a long-lasting supply of food, could be stored forlong time without going bad, there were no signs of split grains or hugecontainers. In other words, people at that time didn't store food in thesehouses.

Third, the enormous mound formed by a pile of oldmaterial doesn't necessarily mean that the houses served as a ceremonialfunction. Besides the pots, building materials such as sand and stone were alsofound, which indicates that there may not be any ceremonies. The old materialcould be the mixture of construction trash as well as pots that which was thrown away by workers.
我觉得写的很好， 用了很多不常用的词， 并且没有太多模板的痕迹。加油！ 因为语法部分我也不是很懂， 可是我觉得第二段和第三段都是过去完成时，第四段是过去时，最好都用一个时态。

fuzhengrui

那个第一段你改的which后面distinguish应该变成单数，我大意了。。
第二第三段没有用过去完成时。。。   都是过去时
最后一段that 和which都可以的

fuzhengrui

遇到两个单词间没有空格的情况可能是论坛的原因
9月1日
综合写作：
TPO6
The reading material argues that the communal online encyclopedias have three main drawbacks which make it inferior to traditional printed ones. The lecturer, however, holds the view that the reasons given by the reading are not convincing in the three following aspects.
First, neither of the two kinds of encyclopedias is perfect and there will never be. When errors may exist in both of them, the communal online version is better than the other because its errors can be corrected more easily. And it will be ages when the errors in traditional one are corrected.
Second, the online encyclopedia is not so prone to being fabricated, deleted or corrupted by hackers. All the materials are in read-only format which indicates that only authorized people can change them. Besides, special editor are available to monitor the changes of encyclopedias.  They can correct them as soon as they were viciously edited.
Third, the communal online encyclopedias are able to provide insightful views rather than trivia from experts. The limited space on the webpages makes the group of academics to express their insightful opinions with fewer words. Besides, experts from different fields are good at providing diversified angles towards the topics. Therefore, the communal online encyclopedias have both a great diversity as well as insightful views.

fuzhengrui

9.2 独立写作：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  It is better to relax oneself by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.


Most of us have to be exposed to increasingly fierce competition either at work or at school due to the raised expectations from bosses or parents. What is even worse is that sometimes we inevitably hit the wall hard and feel devastated. Thus, relaxation seems much more important than ever before for the simple reason that it refreshes us, allows us to work more effectively as well as shakes things up. Personally, I prefer to have sports rather than watch movies or read books for the following reasons.
Engaging in sports means living a healthier life both physically and mentally. It is not rear in our life that we are pushed to the sidelines but we don't know how to solve the problems. Things may not go well if we just sit there and twist our brains. Wandering or jogging outside is a good idea because when we do that, we can also take in fresh air which helps us think. Then lights may go off and solutions come to our minds. At the same time, our strength is enhanced and we free ourselves from headaches, which benefits us physically and mentally.
Not only does sport exert favorable influences on our health, but it also plays an important role in our social life. When we throw ourselves in the swimming pools where there are lots of people, we are able to make new friends and chat with them. Or when we play soccer in a team, we are likely to use body languages or words to convey our thoughts. Those are other possible ways for us to forget our tedious and stressful work. What is more important is that we may stumble on good advice or hints about our jobs from other teammates.
Admittedly, reading books and watching movies are not bad ways to relieve ourselves. However, we are not sure that we pick up the right book or movie before we start. We will definitely feel more miserable instead of released if we watch a movie like The Titanic or read a book about deception. Only after reading or watching can we realize whether they are suitable for us. Therefore, books and movies don’t work as effectively as sports.
To sum up, I would like to choose having sports as a way to relax because it promotes my socialization as well as health simultaneously.