求综合部分提高..Writing加油!!

陈喵喵holdon

8.29综合TPO3

第二点没听明白 T T

While there are three aspects included in the reading passage proving that this particular painting is not from Rembrandt, the professor gives reasons from some experts' examinations to indicate that it is actually belong to Rembrandt.

When referring to the inconsistent detail of the white linen cap and luxurious fur collar, which reflects different social status, the professor states that the collar was added on the top of the original painting hundreds of years after it was made in order to increase the value of the painting by shaping the woman into a relatively formal one. In this case, the point claimed in the reading passage is overthrown to some extent.

Secondly, according to the professor, when the collar layer of the painting is removed, the light-shadow error contended in the reading passage will no longer exist anymore. Originally, the woman's face is illuminated, which will be very realistic and correspond to the expectation of Rembrandt. That is why it is currently not partially in shadow.

In addition, in terms of the aspect of panel wooden pieces that glued together, which is regarded impossible in Rembrandt's work based on the reading passage, the professor claims that it was Rembrandt, who painted at single pieces at first, then added on top and sides, aiming to make the painting more grand and valuable. Therefore, it seems to fit the style of Rembrandt. Moreover, the wooden pieces of the painting come from the same tree as another work of Rembrandt, which is a self-portrait with a hat.

陈喵喵holdon

8月29日  总算字数上去了可是写了好久..又是将近45分钟..
The best way to improve the quality of education is to imcrease teachers' salaries'.

Education has been regarded as one of the most important issues in modern society, which has been struggling in recent decades and discussed widely, especially on how to improve its quality. In this case, some experts contend that the key to the improvement of education is to increase teachers' salaries, which may become a significant stimulus to their teaching. However, from my point of view, I do not agree to put so much emphasis on salary rises, and the reasons are as follows.

To begin with, rises of teachers' salaries cannot be treated as a powerful incentive as some people think, because it may lead to slack work rather than effective teaching. For example, a research conducted in Fudan University by Shanghai Daily, aiming to test the relationship between salary level and teaching quality among teachers in a relatively similar academia background, indicates that they are not positively related. Moreover, in some academic areas such as psychology and geology, higher salaries may link to comparatively negative teaching outcomes. Specifically, factors of different courses or different teaching environments should be taken into consideration when experts are exploring this relationship.

Nevertheless, other primary factors that may influence teaching quality become more significant. One is the method of teaching, which plays a dominant role in daily classes. Generally, with the same knowledge and same level of students, what will determine the teaching process? Yang Fujia, one of educationists in the association of Chinese Education, answered this question in one of his speeches in University of Nottingham, which highlighted the significance of teaching methods. He claimed that valid ways of getting knowledge will result in better achievements. Therefore, teaching methods do have a crucial effect.

Additionally, another aspect that probably makes sense, is the responsibility a teacher has. It is the teachers who make class arrangements and communicate with students, but no particular rules govern how much effort they make when teaching. Thus, attitudes, or whether with enough responsibilities, affect teaching qualities. Yang Yi, the primary school teacher who has won the Chinese Outstanding Youth award, sets an example of making every effort to teach. He not only has high enrollment rates in classes with students of lower starting points, but also nurtures hundreds of students with his beautiful youth. It is the teaching responsibility which drives him forward.

To conclude, teaching methods and responsibilities play more important roles in education quality rather than increasing teachers' salaries, since it does not solve the fundamental problem and may lead to opposite effects.

夜游的恶鸟

晚饭前给你改并交作业~

夜游的恶鸟

改

8.29综合TPO3

第二点没听明白 T T

While there are three aspects included in the reading passage proving that thisparticular painting is not from Rembrandt, the professor gives reasons fromsome experts' examinations to indicate that it is actually belong to Rembrandt.

When referring to the inconsistent detail of the white linen cap and luxuriousfur collar, which reflects different social status, the professor states thatthe collar was added on the top of the original painting hundreds of yearsafter it was made in order to increase the value of the painting by shaping thewoman into a relatively formal one. In this case, the point claimed in thereading passage is overthrown to some extent.

Secondly, according to the professor, when the collar layer of the painting isremoved, the light-shadow error contended in the reading passage will no longer exist anymore(有些重复。去掉anymore). Originally, the woman's face is illuminated, which will be veryrealistic and correspond to the expectation of Rembrandt. That is why it iscurrently not partially in shadow. （没有听清但是可以避开没有听见的部分写，很好啊，这里讲的是衣服反光的原因）

In addition, in terms of the aspect of panel wooden pieces that glued together,which is regarded impossible in Rembrandt's work based on the reading passage,the professor claims that it was Rembrandt, who painted at single pieces atfirst, then added on top and sides, aiming to make the painting more grand andvaluable. Therefore, it seems to fit the style of Rembrandt. Moreover, the wooden pieces of the painting（这里只是说原来的那一块，应该是单数吧） come from the same tree as another work of Rembrandt, which is aself-portrait with a hat.

夜游的恶鸟

喵喵，不是不想给你改独立……我看了好久好久，不知道哪里应该改了，我觉得你整个独立的思路就是在写aw。比我高级了好多，句子形式也很多而且都不赘述。

不好意思要麻烦你再找个大牛看看了，我觉得你反驳题目得很好！

看了你的作文给我很多启发，就像你给我改作文中说的我句子太单一了，啰嗦。谢谢呢！
我是9.8号，这几天再练习练习！加油呢！~

陈喵喵holdon

10.7
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:The governmentand corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with othercountries in the world?

Nowadays, governments and corporations from all countries are doing scientific experiments and have made many scientific discoveries to solve natural and social problems. On this basis, another issue, which is whether to share all their scientific discoveries with countries in rest of the world, raises. Generally, that can be related to aspects of development, politics and peace. In my point of view, I totally agree that governments and corporations should share with other nations, and the reasons are as follows.


To begin with, countries throughout the world need to have balanced developments. If governments and corporations from a single country conceal their discoveries purposely from other countries, imbalance among nations will appear and that will slow down the overall progress of the world. For example, most countries in Africa lack scientific technologies. As a result, they develop relatively slowly compared to advanced countries such as the United States and England. In more details,these undeveloped nations face shortage of food or proper cures of diseases dueto scientific challenges. Thus, scientific innovations need to be shared andthat will lead to a balanced advancement across the world.


Furthermore, to share scientific innovations as well as to help each other is one of the basic principles all countries in the world need to follow. The United Nations have announced that all states are equal and have fair chances to develop. It is the duty of some advanced countries to assist other countries which are lack of scientific discoveries.


Finally, imagine what will happen if governments and corporations do not share their scientific discoveries. As a consequence, certain conflicts or even wars may be caused. Currently,competitions among countries have become more relevant to resources and related conflicts do exist. For instance, the competition between China and Japan on Diaoyu Island is strongly related to the competition of natural resources in this area. Therefore, technologies about how to utilize resources efficiently are regarded more significant. Once scientific technologies of appropriate use of resources have been shared, natural resources such as land or sea area will no longer be an incentive of national conflicts or wars.


To conclude, governments and corporations should share their scientific discoveries, as a mean of making a balanced development, helping other countries and avoiding disputes among different nations.

Yeeisstrong

10.7
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:The governmentand corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with othercountries in the world?

Nowadays, governments and corporations from all countries are doing scientific experiments and have made many scientific discoveries to solve natural and social problems. On this basis, another issue, (which is)(可以去掉，有点多余) whether to share all their scientific discoveries with countries in rest of the world, raises. Generally, that can be related to aspects of development, politics and peace. In my point of view, I totally agree that governments and corporations should share with other nations, and the reasons are as follows.（比较顺利的引出自己的观点）



To begin with, countries throughout the world need to have balanced developments. If governments and corporations from a single country conceal their discoveries purposely from other countries, imbalance among nations will appear and that will slow down the overall progress of the world. For example, most countries in Africa lack scientific technologies. As a result, they develop relatively slowly compared to advanced countries such as the United States and England. In more details, these undeveloped nations face shortage of food or proper cures of diseases due to scientific challenges. Thus, scientific innovations need to be shared and that will lead to a balanced advancement across the world.



Furthermore, to share scientific innovations as well as to help each other is one of the basic principles all countries in the world need to follow(be followed). The United Nations have announced that all states are equal and have fair chances to develop. It is the duty of some advanced countries to assist other countries which are lack of scientific discoveries.(这段观点提的很好，但是要是再加个例子就更生动了，比如中国对朝鲜的援助，嘿嘿)


Finally, imagine what will happen if governments and corporations do not share their scientific discoveries. As a consequence, certain conflicts or even wars may be caused. Currently, competitions among countries have become more relevant to resources and related conflicts do exist. For instance, the competition between China and Japan on Diaoyu Island（百度了下这是大陆的一种说法，英语说法Fishing Island）is strongly related to the competition of natural resources in this area. Therefore, technologies about how to utilize resources efficiently are regarded more significant. Once scientific technologies of appropriate use of resources have been shared, natural resources such as land or sea area will no longer be an incentive of national conflicts or wars.


To conclude, governments and corporations should share their scientific discoveries, as a mean of making a balanced development, helping other countries and avoiding disputes among different nations.





文章总体结构清晰，三个论点还可以。我的水平不怎么样，只能改到这了。多看点老美写的，更native吧~

陈喵喵holdon

10.8综合TPO18

The reading passage explores three ways to prevent Torreya from dying out. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, she thinks that none of these three solutions are satisfactory answers to the extinction problem of Torreya, which contradicts what thereading states. In the lecture, she uses three specific points to support her opinions.

To begin with, even though the reading passage suggests a solution of planting Torreya in the same location under its current microclimate condition, the professor argues in the lecture that the recovery of this species is unlikely to happen by this means. This is because the regarded ideal living condition of Torreya in this area is now affected by the climate of larger regions in Florida, which has an increase of overall temperature due to global warming. Moreover, many regions there are becoming drier, which means there is not anywhere in this original place suitable enough for Torreya to live.

Furthermore, despite the solution provided in the reading that Torreya can be moved to different places, or even far fromits Florida microclimate, the professor contends that there is another example of such kind of plant migration, which is to change black locust’s living location, and its consequences are really negative. Then she supports this view with the fact that as soon as black locusts arrived in the new place, it spreadvery quickly and killed trees in the new environment, which was also a species indanger, and it finally became extinct. In other words, such sort of migration may lead to unexpected outcomes and cannot be considered as a solution.

Finally, the professor asserts that it is probably not a solution to raise Torreya in research centers, whereas the author of the reading claims that it can be a feasible way. The professor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that relatively small population in research centers cannot resist diseases, as resistant species need to have genetic diversity. As a result, it is not a satisfactory answer as Torreya kept in research centers is not capable of surviving in long term.

陈喵喵holdon

10.8
People who move out of their native village or town are more successfuland happier than who stay in their native village or town for their whole life.A\D

Asked what determines a persons’ success or life attitude, there is one factor that cannot be ignored, environment. As a result, many teenagers attempt to study in othercities, and eventually move out of their native village or town, aiming to havea better life. Personally, I quite agree with such behavior, which means relatively more chances to be successful and happy, rather than staying intheir native village or town for their whole life.

To begin with, cities other than people’s native ones always have larger potential for them to develop careers. Apart from a person’s intrinsic ability,opportunity is a vital factor in one’s career. Also, in a comparatively bigger stage, one can express himself creatively. For example, a rising star in hotel industry, Hotel Zhang, has moved out of his original hometown to Shanghai, and has opened five business hotels at the age of 20. However, it is not hard to imagine that if he stays in his hometown, he probably finds a normal job and spends his whole life in this way. It is the movement to Shanghai that changes his life. In other words, greater potential in a bigger city leads to his success.

Moreover,people will have more positive life attitudes resulted from a migration to another place. In more details, different types of entertainment, as well as fresh things can be full of one’s life in a new city. A research conducted by agroup of students from Peking University shows that participants express higher degree of happiness when they move out of their native environment and experience new things. Generally, it can be considered as a new life incentive and a way to broaden one’s views.

Although some may argue that in new places people tend to have no friends and relatives,as a consequence they may feel lonely under some circumstances, it is reasonable to regard that as an opportunity to meet new people and make more friends. In addition, people can develop their independent characteristics instead of relying on others. Personally speaking, after I have attended university and left my hometown, I have made more friends and become happier than ever before.

To conclude, for both the greater career development chances and richer experiences,a person will be easier to success and be happy to move out of the original place instead of staying in hometown the whole lifetime.

阿伦艾弗森

黄亮精彩，蓝色建议，红色错误。
Asked what determines a persons’ success or life attitude, there is one factor that cannot be ignored, environment. （asked 的逻辑主语最好是人，建议后半句改为 we cannot ingnore environmental factor.）As a result, many teenagers attempt to study in othercities, and eventually move(ing) out of their native village or town,(这句话直接做插入语就好，这样你后面的aiming 的逻辑主语也刚好是many teenagers了) aiming to have a better life. Personally, I quite agree with such behavior, which means relatively more chances to be successful and happy, rather than staying in their native village or town for their whole life.（这有一个rather than的比较，最好前后结构一致）

To begin with, cities other than people’s native ones always have larger potential for them to develop careers. Apart from a person’s intrinsic ability,opportunity is a vital factor in one’s career. Also, in a comparatively bigger stage, one can express himself creatively. For example, a rising star in hotel industry, Hotel Zhang, has moved out of his original hometown to Shanghai, and has opened five business hotels at the age of 20.（最好交代的更清楚一点，加入对TS的说明） However, it is not hard to imagine that if he stays in his hometown, he probably finds（时态） a normal job and spends his whole life in this way. It is the movement to Shanghai that changes his life. In other words, greater potential in a bigger city leads to his success.

Moreover,people will have more positive life attitudes resulted from a migration to another place. In more details, different types of entertainment, as well as fresh things can be full of one’s life in a new city. A research conducted（这个词多指指挥吧） by a group of students from Peking University shows that participants express higher degree of happiness when they move out of their native environment and experience new things. Generally, it can be considered as a new life incentive and a way to broaden one’s views.

（可以加个逻辑词）Although some may argue that in new places people tend to have no friends and relatives,as a consequence they may feel lonely under some circumstances, it is reasonable to regard that as an opportunity to meet new people and make more friends. In addition, people can develop their independent characteristics instead of relying on others. Personally speaking, after I have attended university and left my hometown, I have made more friends and become happier than ever before.(这一段写的很好啊。逻辑紧密)

To conclude, for both the greater career development chances and richer experiences,a person will be easier to success and be happy to move out of the original place instead of staying in hometown the whole lifetime.

1.逻辑联系紧密，超级棒。
2.注意一下逻辑主语的问题。
3.细节上的小词和时态在注意一下就OK咯！！

一点拙见，还望共同进步。！~