[写作小分队] 6.30考试，作文没信心了，求看下这样的水平要怎么再提高啊！

zljdsz

topic：impossible to be completely honest to your friends.
I agree to the statement thatthere are no possibilities to be totally honest with friends. My opinion is supported by points as following.

In some situations/cases, being completely honest seems not to be good for friendship. Obviously, it is of significantly necessary to make some white lies in purpose of encouraging or avoid hurting someone’s feeling. I, for one make white lies to encourage Tom, my friend, even though less chances were there, a final reward in the swimming contest should  attribute to my words – “Go, you can get it, I bet”. Moreover, we can see the power brought by this kind of dishonesty easily around us, especially in medical treatment. Besides, say no to a invitation from your friends in a dishonest way could not be punished, for having more time with beloved family. Either being supporters, or balancing friendship and family love force us not to be honest.

More often, each pair of friends would hold different view of points to some insignificant things. Naturally, different backgrounds and personalities ensure gaps between style of dressing or tasting. If you choose to be totally honest and integrity, it is so awkward for you to make advice when go shopping. Therefore truth may be honest; it could be unwise towards friends in some unimportant points.
Finally, If we hold this criterion in relationship building, it’s unreasonable and unrealistic to build lasting friendship. It’s a criterion, simply put, white lies is permitted in the friendship. Instead of agreeing with the criterion, it is not beneficial to build our social net.
I have stress my attitude to dishonesty in some cases, but that is not to eclipse importance of honest. I balance honest and dishonest in following reasoning: I put priority in honest, in most cases. At the same time, dishonest is accepted in a range, which determine by its effect.  In conclusion, it is obvious how impossible wholly honest is, both for building a friendship and keeping one.  

Crystaljoy

http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-661450-1-1.html

welcome~

zljdsz

6.9 independent
As to present situation of education, I strongly agree to the statement that education comes to be more and more easier with the development of economics, technology, as well as, our ideas about meaning of education. My supporting points are described as follow.

First of all, environment contributes to foundation of increasing chances for us to learn. Obviously, we, students could not have opportunities in any wartime. Here is an illustrative example from my grandpa. He is 90-year old, who once served in the Red Army - that is, predecessor of the Chinese Liberation Army, he has not had any chance to be fully educated. At the prime time for learning, he had no choice just to devote himself to the liberation our country. Contracting to the past, it is so lucky for us that most of countries in the world keep a harmonious and peaceful developing order, even in some undeveloped places, such as Africa, both financial and human recourses are donated from other richer countries to help children there.  Knowledge society and peaceful surroundings ensure our learning environment.

In addition, more accesses and methods than before is another factor influencing educational condition now. In such a peace environment, more financial has been allocate in technology and education developments. Steve jobs open a new world of learning, by iphone, ipad, cloud technology. Now learning could not be a long-trip to developing areas in my country or in the other side of world. As a student in an ordinary university in an underdevelopment inland city in the western China, I could use network through iphone, ipad to watch online lecture, just as American students in the Ivy League. Access of education is broadening by technology, finding accessible resource for learning is easier and easier, comparing with paper-made resources.

Last but not least, changing concept of learning become an effective motivation for educating. While education is a tool for the young to make more money, of course it is still true today, but there is a change in some other areas, such as college for the aged, cooking classes for housewife. Different with the past, it is a fashion of learning among every age and professional area. There is a huge need among us, naturally more and more products to satisfy with us. In this sense, learning gaining more attention comes to be a way to self-fulfilling, even a way to relax.

In conclusion, how fortunate we are in a peaceful political environment with increasing advancing technology add convenient to our learning, and also with an internal motivation to learn everything in every age group. Those all make us live in an easier world to be educated.

zljdsz

6.9 integrated
The lecture discusses the prediction of population of birds in the future which differs from the main ideas in the passage that there will be less and less birds in the future. The professor said the arguments list in the reading passage is unconvincing, that is increase of settlements, agriculture areas and uses of pesticides.

In the term of accumulating areas changed into settlements, that is, urban development, the listening material contracts the standpoint made by the writer who said that it would result in a shrinking habitats for birds. Oppositely, it would lead to a better and larger area for birds.  We could easily found pigeons in the parks, on the roofs. The professor said there could be a decreasing number of some species, such as hock in the city, but at the same time an increase of some species, such as pigeon is occur to the city areas.

As regards to the second argument in the passage, the increasing area for agriculture is predicted to be increase at the same speed as present, the professor still hold an opposite opinion. It is unwise to predict the future use of land in agriculture based on produce we plant now and past. On the other side, we will use more productive produce in the future. Thus, the increasing of land used in agriculture could be diminished in the future, contrary to the prediction in the reading material.

The last point made by the professor is that there will be less and less pesticide used in agriculture, which is quite different with the last argument in the passage. There are two basises of this prediction- the amount of pesticides used and the produce itself. On the one side, as more and more people aware the excessive use of pesticides, it is a trend that less pesticide will be used in the future. On another side, for avoiding using pesticides, produce will be reformed to kind of pest-resisting ones. Since that, professor draw the prediction about a decrease amount of pesticides in planting, totally contracts with the idea in the reading material.

In all, the listening material list three different ideas contracting the three arguments made in the reading passage, as previously mentioned.

vanessa923

红色有错误，黄色背景表示好的！蓝色建议
The lecture discusses the prediction of population of birds in the future which differs from the main ideas in the passage that there will be less and less birds in the future. The professor said the arguments list （listed)in the reading passage is unconvincing, that is(用because of连接起来会不会更好？） increase of settlements, agriculture areas and uses of pesticides.

In the term of accumulating areas changed into settlements, that is, urban development, the listening material contracts the standpoint made by the writer who said that it would result in a shrinking habitats for birds. Oppositely, it would lead to a better and larger area for birds（听力应该表示是某些鸟类.而不是整体鸟类）  We could easily found pigeons in the parks, （and ）on the roofs. The professor said there could be a decreasing number of some species, such as hock in the city, but at the same time an increase of some species, such as pigeonsis occur to（occur本身就是动词。such as 后面好像不能加句子，用appearing in会更好） the city areas.

As regards to the second argument in the passage, the increasing area for agriculture is predicted to be increase at the same speed as present, the professor still hold an opposite opinion. It is unwise to predict the future use of land in agriculture based on produce we plant now and past.（好怪）On the other side, we will use more productive produce（名词是production,可是我觉得这里用crops更好） in the future. Thus, the increasing of land used in agriculture could be diminished in the future, contrary to the prediction in the reading material.

The last point made by the professor is that there will be less and less pesticide used in agriculture, which is quite different with the last argument in the passage. There are two basises of this prediction- the amount of pesticides used and the produce itself. On the one side, as more and more people aware the excessive use of pesticides, it is a trend that less pesticide will be used in the future. On another side, for avoiding using pesticides, produce will be reformed to kind of pest-resisting ones.（直接用pest-resisting crops) Since that, professor draw the prediction about a decrease amount of pesticides in planting, (which)totally contracts with the idea in the reading material.

In all, the listening material list three different ideas contracting(用opposing更好） the three arguments made in the reading passage, as previously mentioned.
要点都写出来了，很不错呢。可是基本的单复数，动词词性要注意。
还有，不知道字数在多少呢、个人觉得可以更简洁的。
总之，加油哈！

zljdsz

Integrated:

In the listening passage professor express her attitude to three solutions to the decline of Torreya, she said those three mentioned in the reading material are not satisfied to address the phenomenon of declining.

As to the first solution, that is, planting Torreya in the former habitants in northern part of Florida, the professor said that it would not be successful. Since some factors have influence the damp and cool area, which is called microclimate in the reading passage. Even though microclimate is relatively small area and different with the larger environment, but it could be influenced by weather change happened in larger area. As mentioned in the listening material, global warming had a bad effect on the former habitants of Torreya. In addition, wet land is seriously shrinking in the north of Florida. From the consideration of climate in large environment, professor show opposition to the first solution.

Then the professor came to the second solution, that is relocating Torreya to a totally new location. For illustrating her opposition to this, the professor gave us an example. Once another kind of tree has been relocated to a new area, it made a huge bad effect on the new area-it expanded so quickly that result in an unwelcome outcome for other plants in this area, where it is replanted. From this example, we find that it is unwise to move Torreya to a new environment.

Finally, the professor opposed the third way mentioned in the reading passage, preserving Torreya in research centers, from the practical matter of this way. As described in the listening passage, it is impossible to keep such kind of plant in the environment of research centers, since it could not resist disease in the small population. In this sense, it is impossible to preserve such kind of plants in an experimental way, for the reason of the dense and amount of planting in such area.

In all, professor show her opposition to the three way list in the passage, from outside impact, undesirable effect and practical matter.

zljdsz

INDEPENDENT:

Couch potato comes to be characters of more and more children. For this reason, a debate about whether or not a regulation on children's activities before TV is heated. As to me, I agree to the statement that parents should make a limitation of time spent on TV for children. Make consideration from angles of physical and mental health.

First of all, increasing pressure of school-work and after-school program squeezes recreational time seriously.  In such condition it is not a wise choice to use TV as entertainment. Watching television dues to a shrinked slepping time, since it is difficult for children to go to bed on time from cartoon.  That procrastination could result in a bad habit, and also lead nodding off in classes. But worse, even though children have a clear plan about watching TV, it is still not good for children's physical health.  A research showed that long-time sedentary hour during daytime, such as sitting in the couch, added 3.1 minutes to the time it took to fall asleep. And then scientists also found that fall asleep faster also sleep for longer, which has a huge effect on efficiency in daytime. In this sense, both the time spent on the TV, and even this activity itself is not good for children's physical health.

In addition, content of many programs could have bad effect on the developing mental health of the young. Early-maturing gains more and more attention in public. This may contribute to media from which children require information, of course, TV is the most convenient and accessible one. For increasing number of program about violent and pron, or somewhat include such kinds of contents is increasing, in a least-governed media environment.  There is no other way better than limiting portion of recreational time spent on TV.

However, as before, I listed supporting points for my idea, but that does not mean there are no beneficial sides of watching TV.  There is undeniable benefit of TV to broaden horizon for children. By watching National Geography Channel is a great choice for the whole family to have a fun after dinner. This way of entertainment could also give some topic for children and his/ her friends.

In conclusion, even though that is a way of gaining knowledge and also offering chances for communication. The bad effects outweigh its beneficial effects, thus limitation of time before TV is necessary. A better way to solve such problem, parents should make an example for them, such as habits of our-door activities and choosing helpful programs.

zljdsz

我的6.9独立没有被改啊，晨依可以帮我看下吗？谢过了~~得空看就好~~mua

zljdsz

我的6.9独立没有被改啊，晨依可以帮我看下吗？谢过了~~得空看就好~~mua

zljdsz

http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-661450-1-1.html

welcome~

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/6/9 0:07:31)

我的6.9独立没有被改啊，晨依可以帮我看下吗？谢过了~~得空看就好~~mua