Vanessa923的作文贴！6月4日起全力以赴写作！

包子不包子

6月11独立！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person.

Shakespeare once remarked in his great artwork The Merchant of Venice,"Kindness is like the gentle rain falling down from the sky."This sentence definitely reveals the importance of being kind . However, regarding the statement-there is never a reason to be rude to another person,I frown on it.

First and foremost,there are chances that people are rude to others unconsciously.The rudeness often follow the circumstances such as emergences or being hasty.This to say,people are meant no harm and they are just so hurried that they may impose some impoliteness on others.An illustrating example is my experience with one of my roommate-Helen.The first time I saw her was on the first day of my fresh college life.I entered the dormitory with joy and was to clean to my desk.However,when i was holding a basin of water and stepping in to the dormitory,a girl ran out of the room and just knocked into me.The basin fell over and I was drenched.To my surprise,the girl just looked back and said "i am sorry",then she dashed away.I was furious.How rude a girl she was!Later i found thst she is my roomate and for the awful impression of her,I seldom talk with her.But one day she came to me and explained everything to me.On the first day,she was told that her mother had an traffic accident.The first thought occurred to her was to get to the hospital as quickly as possible."I did not mean to hurt you and I was really in a hurry."she explained.Knowing all the resons,i erased my misunderstanding for her and we get along well with each other.
事例叙述有些长了
In addition,sometimes we show our anger and discontent in the form of being rude.In some cases we release these feeling for the purpose of asserting our esteem and intergrity instead of 换成rather than 比较好hurting others' feeling intentionally.When insulted with constant abuse and curses,shouldn't we gather all the courage and fight it back? When facing the haves bully the have-nots,shouldn't we stand out and stand in line with the poor?When reviewing the news about greedy businessmen selling poinsnous powder at the expense of children's health to make profits,shouldn' t we act out and condemn these immoralities?Under these circumstances,kindness will not chase away the darkness,only anger and condemn can do.

It is true that in order to build a harmonious society,we should be friendly and amicable.But there are always太绝对了 some reasons for which we resort to being harsh.These rudenesses are supposed to drive away the inequality and harrassment, not to hurt others.

词汇很好啊 第一个例证有些长了 第二个很吸引人的
可以加一个让步段 显得逻辑严谨些

vanessa923

wild world   歌手：mr big       Now that I've lost everything to you,you say you want to start something new,and it's breaking my heart you're leaving,baby I'm grieving.But if you wanna leave take good care,hope you have a lot of nice things to wear,but then a lot of nice things turn bad out there.Oh baby baby it's a wild world,it's hard to get by just upon a smile.Oh baby baby it's a wild world,I'll always remember you like a child, girl.You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do,and it's breaking my heart in two,'cause I never want to see you sad girl,don't be a bad girl,but if you want to leave take good care,hope you make a lot of nice friends out there,but just remember there's a lot of bad and beware, beware,Baby I love you, but if wanna leave take good care,hope you make a lot of nice friends out there,but just remember there's a lot of bad, and beware,

vanessa923

The reading passage talks about  the negative effects of buzzing,while the professor,a buzzer himself sometimes,refutes  the points with the following reasons.
To begin with,the reading passage states that the consumers may not receive the truth from the buzzers who are paid to to advertise and praise  the product.However,the lecturer argues that the company often hire people who have used the product and thought the product is worth buying.So the information offered by the buzzers is not misleading,but the truth.
In addtion,contrary to the statement in the reading that people are likely to be less critical when listening to buzzers and hence to buy the products,the lecturer points it out that consumers would ask all kind of questions concerning the product such as price and service.If the buzzers fail to answer their questions,they would not buy the product.
Last,as for the harmful effect of buzzing ,that is,the spread of mistrust and the expectation of dishonesty,the lecturer holds a different view.Since the product the buzzers promote is of high quality,those consumers who listen to the suggestion and buy the products benifit from it.That is to say,they will be more trustful and helpful to others.
In conclusion,the lecturer uses convincing points to prove the main idea in the  reading passage-that is,the buzzing is misleading and harmful,is incorrect.

vanessa923

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of a university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.

Nowadays,there is an increasingly awareness of the importance of receiving education.People are more willlingly to attend  universities to better equip themselves for the ever-growing fierce competition.Along with this trend comes a new controvertial debate-whether the main role for universitity professor is to educate students or to do research.From my point of view,I think to educate students is the main role for university professors.
First and foremost, the main  reason why people choose to attend universities is to obtain more specialized knowledge so as to compete in the future job-seeking market.If the professor focus on doing all kinds of researches rather than educate  the students,the students cannot receive the knowledge they pursue.Moreover,for the parents who spend large sums of money to send their children to universities, it is a great loss for not being able to achieve their anticipation for their children.A illustrating example is a survey which research the college graduates.It reveals that graduates who are imbued with specialized knowledge are more  likely to find satisfactory jobs than their coounterparts.
In addition,university  is a golden time for students to form their value systems and outlook of their future career and life.During this time,if the professor can offer reasonable and wise  career suggestions when the students feel at a loss about their future,students absolutely can benifit a lot from it and have a better insight into their future lives.Also,equally important are the directions concerning the moral conducts.By setting a good example for the students and  telling students to distinguish the  right from  the wrong,the good from the evil,the professor can not only exert a substantial influence on the students,but also the whole society.On the contrary,professor who concentrate on lab researches  can not hone moral standards for their students.
Some claim that the professors' responsibility is to do researches rather than educate students.It is partly true that doing  researches may help make  new scientific discoveries and hence solve the problems puzzling human beings.But in the long-term aspect, isn't better for us to educate more outstanding students who help solve the ever-growing problems reasonablly  ?
In sum,by fostering  students both specialized knowledge and better insight into the future,they can be better equipped in this fast-paced society and devote themselves into future world.

zombiee

[/quote]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main role of a university professor is to educate students rather than to do research.
red:incorrect, blue: suggestion, yellow: good use
Nowadays,there is an increasingly awareness of the importance of receiving education.People are more willlingly to attend  universities to better equip themselves for the ever-growing fierce competition.Along with this trend comes a new controvertial(typo~) debate-whether the main role for universitity professor is to educate students or to do research.From my point of view,I think to educate students is the main role for university professors.
First and foremost, the main  reason why people choose to attend universities is to obtain more specialized knowledge so as to compete in the future job(for a better job)-seeking market.If the professor focus(es) on doing all kinds of researches rather than (on educating) educate  the students,the students cannot receive the knowledge they pursue(purse knowledge?).Moreover,for the parents who spend large sums(amount) of money to send their children to universities, it is a great loss for not being able to achieve their anticipation for their children.A illustrating example is a survey(举例和调查分开用这种混用的说法不多见啊) which research(survey发不出这个动作）the college graduates.It reveals that graduates who are imbued with specialized knowledge are more  likely to find satisfactory jobs than their coounterparts.
In addition,university  is a golden time for students to form their value systems and outlook of their future career and life.During this time,if the professor can offer reasonable and wise  career suggestions when the students feel at a loss about their future,students absolutely can benifit a lot from it and have a better insight into their future lives.Also,equally important are the directions concerning the moral conducts.By setting a good example for the students and  telling students to distinguish the  right from  the wrong+andthe good from the evil,the professor can not only exert a substantial influence on the students,but also the whole society.On the contrary,professor who concentrate on lab researches  can not hone moral standards for their students.
Some claim that the professors' responsibility is to do researches rather than educate students.It is partly true that doing  researches may help make  new scientific discoveries and hence solve the problems puzzling human beings.But in the long-term aspect, isn't+it better for us to educate more outstanding students who help solve the ever-growing problems reasonablly  ?
In sum,by fostering  students both specialized knowledge and better insight into the future,(分词修饰主语，由主语发出)they can be better equipped in this fast-paced society and devote themselves into future world.

-- by 会员 vanessa923 (2012/6/14 9:43:36)

[/quote]I think the topic of 6.12 is : 090403 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.Anyway, I just correct this one that you have finished.总体表达清楚，语言有亮点，句式表达有点中国化，缺少举例，survey不够有说服力。
水平有限，建议仅供参考，如有异议M我，加油

婷婷connie

6.7 独立改文
6月7独立

我是万恶的婷婷,一直考试，刚刚翻身，求谅解呀~~~

红色错误，蓝色疑问，高亮精彩

我真心第一次接触这类作文，感觉写得真心不好，求狠狠狠批！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High school students should take a course on basic economics.
The curriculum of high school includes science and art,varying from such abstract subjects as chemistry and physics to (literary subjects like这里可以跟前面的subtract对应)history and music.Some people put forward（recommend） that high school student should take a couse(course)on basic economics.（Frankly speaking, 这样加上就没有那么突兀了）I agree with this statement.
First and foremost,it is undeniable that most high students would pursue further education far away from home.At that time,they should learn to live and study by themselves,including purchasing daily goods and distribute their living expenses.However, large proportion of high school students,according to a survey reveals（这是什么用法？）,lives a dependent life on their parents.That is to say,most of them,with the aid of their parents, never have the chance to develop their ability to allocate their money wisely and reasonablly（rationally）.On the contrary,it would be easier for them in the university life with the basic knowledge of economics.On that condition,they would have a better understanding of the "output and input "in the daily life and accordingly make a reasonable budget.（这段婷婷给你改了一下： Conversely, the knowledge obtained in the economics course will better students' understanding of the "output and input" in the daily life and allow them to make wiser budget.)An illustrating example is my （own）experience.At the beginning of every month I would make a detailed plan as to what to buy and how much to save. I can always make ends meet at the end of every month and even sometimes save some in my account.I credit my good habit of planning to the the economic knowledge learned from my high school.

这一段用了对比，然后举了自己的例子，很好，不过篇幅略长， 和后文比，有点头重脚轻，建议两选一吧。
In addition ,people can make a wise investment with a grasp of economics.In old days people would save their money in the banks for safe.Nowadays,due to the horrific hyperinflation and dramatic currency devaluations,（这俩词很专业啊~）more and more people choose to（tend to/ incline to） apply the substantial balance in the banks to buy bonds,stocks and insurance.This kind of investment can not only devalue overtime but also make money with wise application.An surprising news show that a 15-year-old teenager become a millionaire with only 2000 RMB at the very start in just 2 years.When asked about his secret of success,he just smiled and said."It is with the economic knowledge in my brain that I can do it."
It is true that the high school students should focus on their academic subjects in well preparation for the college entrance examination.But we also cannot ignore the substantial effect of practical(pragmatic)economic knowledge.（这是让步段吧，字少了很多。让步段精华是让一小步，我通常会写些其实还是有坏处的，但是可以克服~）

Admittedly, I concede that take a basic economic course may exert an extra burden on students to some degree. Since students are required to take such course, they probably sacrifice some of their leisure time to grasp the essence of the course and get well prepared for the examinations. However, once we consider the case in depth, we could not ignore the substantial effect of economic knowledge, like help us make budge and investment. As long as we formulate ourselves a rational schedule, we are able to relax for a while and get good grades as well. Thus, the course on basic economics is imperative.

乱写了一个，接受批评哦！~
In sum,owing to the merits of learning basic economics,students can better equipped and more competitive in their future study and life.

Conclusion：1.感觉vanessa的整体感觉不错，没有太多拼写错误，模板很好。

2.写detail的时候多钟方法交替使用，像（事例就包括名人的，自己的，别人的，还有数例，另外就是对比和因果了）让步段需要加强。加油！

vanessa923

6.7 独立改文
6月7独立

我是万恶的婷婷,一直考试，刚刚翻身，求谅解呀~~~

红色错误，蓝色疑问，高亮精彩

我真心第一次接触这类作文，感觉写得真心不好，求狠狠狠批！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High school students should take a course on basic economics.
The curriculum of high school includes science and art,varying from such abstract subjects as chemistry and physics to (literary subjects like这里可以跟前面的subtract对应)history and music.Some people put forward（recommend） that high school student should take a couse(course)on basic economics.（Frankly speaking, 这样加上就没有那么突兀了）I agree with this statement.
First and foremost,it is undeniable that most high students would pursue further education far away from home.At that time,they should learn to live and study by themselves,including purchasing daily goods and distribute their living expenses.However, large proportion of high school students,according to a survey reveals（这是什么用法？）,lives a dependent life on their parents.That is to say,most of them,with the aid of their parents, never have the chance to develop their ability to allocate their money wisely and reasonablly（rationally）.On the contrary,it would be easier for them in the university life with the basic knowledge of economics.On that condition,they would have a better understanding of the "output and input "in the daily life and accordingly make a reasonable budget.（这段婷婷给你改了一下： Conversely, the knowledge obtained in the economics course will better students' understanding of the "output and input" in the daily life and allow them to make wiser budget.)An illustrating example is my （own）experience.At the beginning of every month I would make a detailed plan as to what to buy and how much to save. I can always make ends meet at the end of every month and even sometimes save some in my account.I credit my good habit of planning to the the economic knowledge learned from my high school.

这一段用了对比，然后举了自己的例子，很好，不过篇幅略长， 和后文比，有点头重脚轻，建议两选一吧。
In addition ,people can make a wise investment with a grasp of economics.In old days people would save their money in the banks for safe.Nowadays,due to the horrific hyperinflation and dramatic currency devaluations,（这俩词很专业啊~）more and more people choose to（tend to/ incline to） apply the substantial balance in the banks to buy bonds,stocks and insurance.This kind of investment can not only devalue overtime but also make money with wise application.An surprising news show that a 15-year-old teenager become a millionaire with only 2000 RMB at the very start in just 2 years.When asked about his secret of success,he just smiled and said."It is with the economic knowledge in my brain that I can do it."
It is true that the high school students should focus on their academic subjects in well preparation for the college entrance examination.But we also cannot ignore the substantial effect of practical(pragmatic)economic knowledge.（这是让步段吧，字少了很多。让步段精华是让一小步，我通常会写些其实还是有坏处的，但是可以克服~）

Admittedly, I concede that take a basic economic course may exert an extra burden on students to some degree. Since students are required to take such course, they probably sacrifice some of their leisure time to grasp the essence of the course and get well prepared for the examinations. However, once we consider the case in depth, we could not ignore the substantial effect of economic knowledge, like help us make budge and investment. As long as we formulate ourselves a rational schedule, we are able to relax for a while and get good grades as well. Thus, the course on basic economics is imperative.

乱写了一个，接受批评哦！~
In sum,owing to the merits of learning basic economics,students can better equipped and more competitive in their future study and life.

Conclusion：1.感觉vanessa的整体感觉不错，没有太多拼写错误，模板很好。

2.写detail的时候多钟方法交替使用，像（事例就包括名人的，自己的，别人的，还有数例，另外就是对比和因果了）让步段需要加强。加油！

-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/6/17 16:39:09)

呵呵,没事没事.谢谢婷婷.我好好看看.呵呵!

vanessa923

The reading passage describes three main advantages of  hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine which  may replace internal-combusion engines. However,  the professor disputes these points with the follwing reasons.
Firstly, though the professor admits that petroleum is finite and Hydrogen can be derived from various plentiful sources, but in fact the fuel-cell energy is not easily available. The production of hydrogen derives from  a kind of pure liquid and this kind of liquid needs extreme cold condition. Moreover, the store of the Hydrogen is also efforts-taking.
Secondly, even though the reading passage states that hydrogen-based  fuel cells are eco-friendly, the professor refutes this idea by pointing out that the production of fuel-cell engine do harm to the environment for the fact that it needs the consumption of  fuel energy like coal and oil.In a word, this kind of engine still produce pollution and cannot solve the problem of envioronment.
Last but not least, the professor claims that fuel-cell engines are not as economically competitive as the reading passage said. The operation of fuel-cell engine needs a valuable material which definitely cost a lot. So it is not wise  to say the people will spend less money on the fuel-cell engine.
In sum,the professor uses convincing satatements to disprove the points listed in the reading passage, which convince us that the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is not a wise  choice.

唉，好久没写了，狠狠拍吧。

vanessa923

The reading passage explores the disadvantages of rare and important fossils being sold to private ownership and the lecture deals with the same issue. However, the professor contends that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with the following reasons.



Firsly, even though the reading states that there will be a decline in public interest in fossils, the professor says that instead, there will be greater exposure of fossils when the public institutions display the collected fossils. This direcly contradict the counterpart in the reading passage.



Secondly, the reading suggests that scientists may lose some access to some of the important fossils and miss out discoveries. However, the lecturer refutes it by pointing out that before fossils being sent to commercial fossil collectors ,they are under scientific identification and detail experimentation of scientists. That means the fossil still pass through the hands of scientists.



Last but not least, the reading passage claim the commercial fossil collectors will destroy valuable evidence associated with the fossils they unearth. On the contrary, the professor opppses it by say-ing that most fossils go undiscovered with the scientists. So maybe these commercial colletors help to discover the potential fossils.



In conclusion, the professor uses convincing points to disprove the main idea in the reading passage and show us that the merits of fossils sent to commercial collctors outweigh the disadvantages.

阿伦艾弗森

TPO13综合修改后
The reading passage explores （that ）the disadvantages of rare and important fossils (are)being sold to private ownership and the lecture deals with the same issue. However, the professor contends that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with the following reasons.



Firsly, （firstly,粗心了哦。嘿。）even though the reading states that there will be a decline in public interest in fossils, the professor says that instead, there will be greater exposure of fossils when the public institutions display the collected fossils.（缺细节，像是schools can purchase fossils and display in public） This direcly contradict the counterpart in the reading passage.



Secondly, the reading suggests that scientists may lose some access to some of the important fossils and miss out discoveries. However, the lecturer refutes it by pointing out that before fossils being sent to commercial fossil collectors ,they(指代不是很明确)are under scientific identification and detail experimentation of scientists.（我觉得这里的of scientists 与前面的scientific有一点点语意重复） That means the fossil still pass through the hands of scientists.



Last but not least, the reading passage claims the commercial fossil collectors will destroy valuable evidence associated with the fossils they unearth. On the contrary, the professor opppses it by say-ing that most fossils go undiscovered with the scientists. So maybe these commercial colletors help to discover the potential fossils.
(可以加上那句发现一些总比什么都发现不了好)


In conclusion, the professor uses convincing points to disprove the main idea in the reading passage and shows us that the merits of fossils sent to commercial collctors outweigh the disadvantages.

1、注意单三
2、细节听的不够多
3、尽量多写听力听到的内容

一点拙见，还望共同进步。