Vanessa923的作文贴！6月4日起全力以赴写作！

vanessa923

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.
What is the past?The past is a combination of  experiences,wisdom and guidences  from  our forebears at  different time  and from  different nations.Along the river of history these  remarks and principles would not fade,instead,they sparks and attract our eyes. Some people argue that in order to solve the problems of the present and the future,people should resort to the past.I am of this opinion.With regard to individuals,the past can not only show us clear directions but also pull us back from the wrong way  both in the road of  learning and  life. Take myself as an example.When I was in high  school,I dreamed to be successful businesswoman.At that time,I intended to choose Business Management as  my major . In order to gain some prerequisite experience and better adapt to  the society,I worked as a salesgirl  in a shop in the summer holiday.But after a month,I was  determined to give up my former choice.Businessmen demand for courage,carefulness and insights.But though my experience in the shop,I sobered and have a better understanding of myself and my ability-I was not meant for that.At the though of not fitting to be  a businessman,I changed my major. Now thanks to the past experience, I am  quite enjoying my present life and  confident with my future career.
In addition,just as an famous philosopher remarked,"those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,"not only did  the past prevent us  from making the same mistakes but also provide us with new insights of the problem.Take China for instance,with the rapid development of science and technology,China is on her way to mordernization.However,China also develop its economy and industry at the expense of deforestation and switching lakes to farmland.In 1998,a horrible flood,as the curse of nature,occured in China and took away millions of lives.Having tasted the bitter fruit of nature,China learn to look back and make sustainable development as a national policy.The policy of sustainable development is not a new product in 21th century.As far  as 5000thousand years ago,great chinese philosophers have made it an effective way to banlance the nature and development.It is the ponder on the past that set a new way for China.
Admittedly,some people argue  that in order to make greater achievements we should look forward rather than look back.Indeed,we can be better prepared along with the future developments.But isn't it more reasonable for us to step forward with the bless of  the past?
In sum,the past render us boththe opprtuinity of  reflecting and  insights into the future,it is wise of us to deal with present and future problems before reviewing the past.

acrophobiahy

红色为修改，蓝色为好词好句~~


What is the past? The past is a combination of experiences, wisdomand guidences (guidance) from our forebears atdifferent time and from different nations. Alongthe river of history these remarksand principles would not fade, instead, they sparks and attract oureyes. Some people argue that in order to solve the problems of thepresent and the future, people should resort to the past. I am of this opinion.

With regard to individuals, the past can not only show usclear directions but also pull us back from the wrong way both in the road of both learning and life. Takemyself as an example. When I was in high school, I dreamed to be a successful business woman. At that time, I intendedto choose Business Management as my major. In order to gain some prerequisite experience and better adapt to the society,I worked as a salesgirl in a shop in the summer holiday. But after a month, I wasdetermined to give up my former choice. Businessmen demand for courage,carefulness and insights. But though my experience in the shop, I sobered and have a better understanding of myselfand my ability-I was not meant for that. At the thought of not fitting to be a businessman,I changed my major. Now thanks to the past experience, I am quite enjoying mypresent life and confident with my future career.

In addition, just as a famous philosopher remarked,“those who cannot remember the past are condemnedto repeat it.” Not only did the past prevent us from making the samemistakes but also provide us with new insights of the problem. Take China for instance,with the rapid development of science and technology, China is on her way tomordernization(modernization). However, Chinaalso develops its economy and industry at the expense of deforestation and switchinglakes to farmland. In 1998, a horrible flood, asthe curse of nature, occurred in Chinaand took away millions of lives. Having tasted the bitterfruit of nature, China learn to look back and make sustainabledevelopment as a national policy. The policy of sustainable development is nota new product in 21th century. As far  as 5000thousand years ago, great Chinesephilosophers have made it an effective way to banlancethe nature and development. It is the ponder on the past that set a new way forChina.
正文第一段，你写了对于个人而言，回顾过去的意义。而这段，你则是针对了国家问题。是不是在第二段开始，写个过渡句将两者练习起来呢？或者独立出来作为一段？
本段中，格言的引用，还有关于可持续发展的例子，真的很符合文章的内容，值得我学习~~

Admittedly, some people argue that in order to make greater achievements weshould look forward rather than look back. Indeed, we can be better preparedalong with the future developments. But isn't it more reasonable for us to stepforward with the bless of the past?
这段是为了让步，我觉得有关过于简单了，可以加上几句，比如reviewing thepast所带来的坏处，像会限制我们的思维等等。你觉得如何？

In sum, the past render us both the opportunity ofreflecting and insights into the future, it is wise of us to deal with presentand future problems before reviewing the past.

这片作文结构清晰，标准的2-1模型。
里面的例子、语言感觉都很好，不过在打字的时候注意拼写错误啊，还有单复数问题~~
整体赞~~

pplovermm

写的真好 我要是能写出这么好的就好了

vanessa923

红色为修改，蓝色为好词好句~~


What is the past? The past is a combination of experiences, wisdomand guidences (guidance) from our forebears atdifferent time and from different nations. Alongthe river of history these remarksand principles would not fade, instead, they sparks and attract oureyes. Some people argue that in order to solve the problems of thepresent and the future, people should resort to the past. I am of this opinion.

With regard to individuals, the past can not only show usclear directions but also pull us back from the wrong way both in the road of both learning and life. Takemyself as an example. When I was in high school, I dreamed to be a successful business woman. At that time, I intendedto choose Business Management as my major. In order to gain some prerequisite experience and better adapt to the society,I worked as a salesgirl in a shop in the summer holiday. But after a month, I wasdetermined to give up my former choice. Businessmen demand for courage,carefulness and insights. But though my experience in the shop, I sobered and have a better understanding of myselfand my ability-I was not meant for that. At the thought of not fitting to be a businessman,I changed my major. Now thanks to the past experience, I am quite enjoying mypresent life and confident with my future career.

In addition, just as a famous philosopher remarked,“those who cannot remember the past are condemnedto repeat it.” Not only did the past prevent us from making the samemistakes but also provide us with new insights of the problem. Take China for instance,with the rapid development of science and technology, China is on her way tomordernization(modernization). However, Chinaalso develops its economy and industry at the expense of deforestation and switchinglakes to farmland. In 1998, a horrible flood, asthe curse of nature, occurred in Chinaand took away millions of lives. Having tasted the bitterfruit of nature, China learn to look back and make sustainabledevelopment as a national policy. The policy of sustainable development is nota new product in 21th century. As far  as 5000thousand years ago, great Chinesephilosophers have made it an effective way to banlancethe nature and development. It is the ponder on the past that set a new way forChina.
正文第一段，你写了对于个人而言，回顾过去的意义。而这段，你则是针对了国家问题。是不是在第二段开始，写个过渡句将两者练习起来呢？或者独立出来作为一段？
本段中，格言的引用，还有关于可持续发展的例子，真的很符合文章的内容，值得我学习~~

Admittedly, some people argue that in order to make greater achievements weshould look forward rather than look back. Indeed, we can be better preparedalong with the future developments. But isn't it more reasonable for us to stepforward with the bless of the past?
这段是为了让步，我觉得有关过于简单了，可以加上几句，比如reviewing thepast所带来的坏处，像会限制我们的思维等等。你觉得如何？

In sum, the past render us both the opportunity ofreflecting and insights into the future, it is wise of us to deal with presentand future problems before reviewing the past.

这片作文结构清晰，标准的2-1模型。
里面的例子、语言感觉都很好，不过在打字的时候注意拼写错误啊，还有单复数问题~~
整体赞~~

-- by 会员 acrophobiahy (2012/6/9 16:34:45)

总结了一下：
一是第二三段加个过渡会更好（呵呵看了你的文章觉得过渡真心好呢！）
二是让步需要再多加些内容。你说的限制思维确实没想到，呵呵受教了！
三是打字。恩恩这个对我来说是个大毛病，一定改！
恩恩，谢谢acrophobiahy！建议真心好！！！

vanessa923

6月9日101030 NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.
Human beings are more than animals;apart from meeting the basical needs in daily life such as food and cothing,they still pursue  higher levels of thinking raging from  entertainment to the ultimate meaning of life.In order to achieve such altitude,we need to resort to education.Some people argue that people nowadays are easier to become educated than in the past.I am of this opinion.
First and foremost,there is a growing awareness of the  importance of education among us.That is to say,people have a clearer awareness of the significance of receiving education.Examples abound in our life.It is common to see parents sending their children of an early age to kindergartens.We can often hear that even on weekends,the children aren in a hurry to attend all kinds of specialized classes.Take my little  niece for example,she is only 5 years old.Except for attending regular formal classes everyday,she also signs up for  extar classes like dancing and piano.When asked how she feels about the busy study,she smiled and said,"I know it is good for me."
In addition,the government also plays a crucial part in this change.Compared with the past,the government attribute more efforts and resources to the education.The authorities improve the quality by increasing input for education and moreover take effforts to attract talents overseas.Let us take a glimpse of America for example.Within  a span of less than two and a quarter centuries,the US has grown from a new-born nation of 13 former colonies to the only super-power country in the world.Asked how could they achieve this,they are likely to say,the deep faith in education.The belief that investment in people is the most essential to devote its resources.It is the center on education that American can make its people literate and  make itself strong in all aspects.So with the solid backgound of the whole nation,people are definitely better educated than in the past.
Adimittedly,some suggest that we have stepped in the business era which highlights economy and development.Thus people care more  about money and profits rather than  the education.Indeed,to some degree  we focus on the materianl goods,however,with a solid foundation of education,isn't it easier for us to keep forwad ?
In sum,be concious of the importance of being educated and the strong support of the nation,we are better educated than our forebears.

vanessa923

后面的让步段我写的确实有些混乱了，实在不知道怎么写了。求指点！谢谢啦！

jiaosisisisi

6月9日101030 NA
绿色的是表示很赞的地方
红色的表示是可能会有问题的地方！
修改的不合适的地方请多多体谅！

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Human beings are more than animals;(很少见用分号吧)apart from meeting the basical（basic就可以adj了，basically是其副词形式）needs in daily life such as food and cothing,they still pursue higher levels of thinking raging from entertainment to the ultimate meaning of life.In order to achieve such altitude（“为了达到这样的高度”，感觉翻译有点直译！In order to reach this heights不知道是不是好一些）,we need to resort to education.Some people argue that people nowadays are easier to become educated than in the past.I am of this opinion.

First and foremost,there is a growing awareness of the importance of education among us.That is to say,people have a clearer awareness of the significance of receiving education.Examples abound in our life（lives）.It is common to see parents sending their children of an early age to kindergartens.We can often hear that even on weekends,the children arein a hurry（过于口语化） to attend all kinds of specialized classes.Take my little niece for example,she is only 5 years old.Except for attending regular formal classes everyday,she also signs up for extar classes like dancing and piano.When asked how she feels about the busy study,she smiled and said,"I know it is good for me."

In addition,the government also plays a crucial part in this change.Compared with the past,the government attribute more efforts and resources to the education.The authorities improve the quality by increasing input for education and moreover take effforts to attract talents overseas.Let us（托福作文较为academic，let us这从样过于口语化） take a glimpse of America for example.Within a span of less than two and a quarter centuries,the US has grown from a new-born nation of 13 former colonies to the only super-powercountry in the world.Asked how could they achieve this,they are likely to say,the deep faith in education.（这个也有点过于口语化）The belief that investment in people is the most essential to devote its resources.It is the center on education that American(America)can make its people literate and make itself strong in all aspects.So with the solid backgound of the whole nation,people are definitely better educated than in the past.

Adimittedly,some suggestthat we have stepped in the business era which highlights economy and development(这句话貌似不是很通顺).Thus people care more about money and profits rather than the education.Indeed,to some degree we focus on the materianl （material？）goods,however,with a solid foundation of education,isn't it easier for us to keep forwad ?

In sum,be concious of the importance of being educated and the strong support of the nation,we are better educated than our forebears.
（结尾有点太过于匆忙，）
总结：结构完整，连接词非常丰富，不过使用的语言有很多处过于口语化，缺乏学术文章的严肃性！而且如果有一些中文point想表达的时候，千万不要直译，想一想别的结构或许不一样但是可以表达这个意思的英文搭配，anyway，祝顺利crack TOEFL

vanessa923

The reading  passage explores the problems and limitations facing the science of archaeology while the professor puts forward that,with a new guideline issued in Britain,the prospect of archaeology is different for the following reasons.
To begin with,the reading passage suggests that along with the population growth,many construction projects may ruin valuable artifacts.However,the professos argues that the guideline points out that before carrying construction projects,the site should be carefully examined with the joint efforts of construction company and professional archaeologists.That is to say,if being of great value, the sites will not be destroyed when construction companys work together with experts.
In addition,though the reading claims that archaeological researches may fail for the lack of financial support fundede by government,the lecturer refutes the point by saying that the guideline made it clear that it is the construction company that pays for the archaeological researches.Definitely these companies can get sunbstantial financial support from a variety of organizations.This directly contradicts with the satatement in the reading.
Last,contrary to the reading passage that it is difficult for archaeologists to have a career,the professor contends that the guideline makes it possible for the experts to find a high-paid job by offering large quantities of jobs  and opportunities.
In sum,the professor uses convincing examples to disproves what the reading states.

vanessa923

The reading passage explains three reasons for the loss the birds in the United States ,owing to the human population and increase in agriculture.However the professor diagrees with  the statement in the reading.
To begin with,the reading suggests that with the increase of human populaiton and settlement,the habitats for birds disappear accordingly.The lectures oppposes it by pointing out that though the urban area play a role in the decreade of  some kinds of birds,but also help the increase of some birds.
In addiotion,the reading passage states that the agricultural activities along with the growing human population also lead to further distruction of birds habitats.But the  professor contends that scientist have tried to develop new crops which can make the most of the farmlands.That is to say,less wilderness areas will be converted to farmlands.This is contrary to the counterpart in the reading passage.
Last,though the reading says the chemical pesticides will poison the insects and water.Thus the birds can be killed  by eating poisoned insects or contaminated water.The professor argues that the history will not happen in the future.In fact,scientists are trying to develop new pesticide which do no harm to insects.Besides,by researching new kinds of pest-resistant crops we can also stop the application of pesticide.
In summary,the professor uses  the above reasons to indentify that the points in the reading passage is not convincing.

P.S.我第一个论点是真没听清啊。。。

vanessa923

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person.Shakespeare once remarked in his great artwork The Merchant of Venice,"Kindness is  like the gentle rain falling down from the sky."This sentence definitely reveals the   importance  of  being kind .  However,  regarding the statement-there is never a reason to be rude to another person,I frown on it.
First and foremost,there are chances that people are rude to others unconsciously.The rudeness often follow the circumstances such as emergences or being hasty.This to say,people are meant no harm and they are just so hurried  that they may impose some impoliteness on others.An illustrating example is my experience with one of my roommate-Helen.The first time I saw her was on the first day of my fresh college life.I entered the dormitory with joy and was to clean to my desk.However,when i was holding a basin of water and stepping in to the dormitory,a girl ran out of the room and just knocked  into  me.The basin fell over and I was drenched.To my surprise,the girl just looked back and said "i am sorry",then she dashed away.I was furious.How rude a girl she was!Later i found thst she is my roomate and for the awful impression of  her,I seldom talk with her.But one day she came to me and explained everything to me.On the first day,she was told that her mother had an traffic accident.The first thought occurred to her was to get to the hospital as quickly  as possible."I did not mean to hurt you and I was really in a hurry."she explained.Knowing all the resons,i erased my misunderstanding for her and we get along well with each other.
In addition,sometimes we show our anger and discontent in the form of being rude.In some cases we release these feeling for the purpose of asserting our esteem and intergrity instead of hurting others' feeling intentionally.When insulted with constant abuse and curses,shouldn't we gather all the courage and fight it back? When facing the haves bully the have-nots,shouldn't  we stand out and stand in line with the poor?When  reviewing the news about greedy businessmen selling poinsnous powder at the expense of children's health to make profits,shouldn' t we act out and condemn these immoralities?Under these circumstances,kindness will not chase away the darkness,only anger and condemn can do.
It is true that in order to build a harmonious society,we should be friendly and amicable.But there are always   some reasons for which we  resort to being  harsh.These rudenesses are supposed to drive away the inequality and  harrassment, not to hurt others.