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包子不包子:欢迎拍砖~~

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41#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-18 21:02:02 | 只看该作者
谢谢LXC的修改~
以后一定要简洁 要简洁 啊啊
42#
发表于 2012-5-18 23:04:26 | 只看该作者
5.17 综合 改文~
超时了。。。

超了多少时间啊?

红色错误,蓝色疑问,黄色高亮~
The reading explores the issue of (这个是多余的吧?)ways to address the decline of Torreya. The listening deals with the same topic. However, the professor thinks that all the three(这个地方感觉怪怪的) possible reasons listed in the reading are unlikely to be true.(婷婷建议改成:none of three possible solutions is convincing.


It (is) mentioned in the reading that reestablishing Torreya in their original locations could ease the problem owing to the cooler and wetter microclimate. The professor, on the contrary, declares that it is unlikely to be achieved. This is because the coolest and dampest microclimate is easily to be affected by changes in the larger region climate. That is to say the almost drained wetlands in Florida and gradual warming global climate both contribute to the impossibleimpossibility of Torreya reestablish( Torreya's reestablishment), which is raised by the author.



Moreover, the next view made by the writer is that the decline would be eased by the assisted migration. The lecturer contradicts that by pointing out another similar example about black lockist trees 这是什么树啊 中间那个单词听不出来(black locust tree一种槐树), which kill lots of local endangered trees after being moved to another region by humans. In this way, there is an unpredictable outcome of the migration of Torreya. In other words, this solution cannot be put into practice either.


At last, the author asserts that situation can be improved if research center is set up. Whereas the professor claims thattrees in research center are not able to resist the(不要) diseases due to its less population and diversity, which will not happen in a wild area. Therefore, this reason is denied by the professor.


In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows the central arguments in the reading(这句话好实用的说~, (这个地方建议用:)reestablish, assisted migration and research center, are incorrect.

Conclusion1.包子要注意语言的流利性

          2.动名词

          3.名词的单复数

          4.还有宾语从句的that尽量别省~

嘿嘿,总的来说,还是不错的啦,加油哦~
43#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-19 11:28:27 | 只看该作者
5.17 综合 改文~
超时了。。。

超了多少时间啊?

红色错误,蓝色疑问,黄色高亮~
The reading explores the issue of (这个是多余的吧?)ways to address the decline of Torreya. The listening deals with the same topic. However, the professor thinks that all the three(这个地方感觉怪怪的) possible reasons listed in the reading are unlikely to be true.(婷婷建议改成:none of three possible solutions is convincing.


It (is) mentioned in the reading that reestablishing Torreya in their original locations could ease the problem owing to the cooler and wetter microclimate. The professor, on the contrary, declares that it is unlikely to be achieved. This is because the coolest and dampest microclimate is easily to be affected by changes in the larger region climate. That is to say the almost drained wetlands in Florida and gradual warming global climate both contribute to the impossibleimpossibility of Torreya reestablish( Torreya's reestablishment), which is raised by the author.



Moreover, the next view made by the writer is that the decline would be eased by the assisted migration. The lecturer contradicts that by pointing out another similar example about black lockist trees 这是什么树啊 中间那个单词听不出来(black locust tree一种槐树), which kill lots of local endangered trees after being moved to another region by humans. In this way, there is an unpredictable outcome of the migration of Torreya. In other words, this solution cannot be put into practice either.


At last, the author asserts that situation can be improved if research center is set up. Whereas the professor claims thattrees in research center are not able to resist the(不要) diseases due to its less population and diversity, which will not happen in a wild area. Therefore, this reason is denied by the professor.


In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows the central arguments in the reading(这句话好实用的说~, (这个地方建议用:)reestablish, assisted migration and research center, are incorrect.

Conclusion1.包子要注意语言的流利性

          2.动名词

          3.名词的单复数

          4.还有宾语从句的that尽量别省~

嘿嘿,总的来说,还是不错的啦,加油哦~
-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/5/18 23:04:26)


超了两分钟。。。
婷婷觉得语言流利性不够 是因为逻辑性不强 还是结构不好 还是别的什么原因嘞?
44#
发表于 2012-5-19 12:25:16 | 只看该作者
Old people are always considered to be thesymbol of wisdom in my country, and even in Tang Dynasty, old people's wordsoften win the great concern of the emperor. From my point of view, though inthe past fifty years the world has changed so much, the old people have beenthrough all those events successfully.
Accordingly, they are experienced without doubts. Therefore, it is to (too) harsh to jump into the absolute conclusion that the advicefrom our grandparents are useless. It depends on the questions we ask about to some extent.

To begin with, grandparents are experienced. Their advice for significantthings in normal life should be given enough consideration. You will take the burden if you do not listen to theold,(不听老人言吃亏在眼前?再确认一下翻译吧) is the old saying in China that examines what the situation means.Should we go to work right after graduation? Should we marry a person from anextremely different culture? Or should we devote ourselves in charity area foe forthe whole life? Indeed, revolutionary changes happened in the society in thepast years, grandparents saw them, talked to themand even competed with them and they survived. (这些them they指代混乱啦)How can we not listen to the words from a winner? Besides, grandparents loveus, they will do whatever they can to assist us even though they have to cast downtheir old fashion opinion and learn the new one.

On the other hand, things related to modern technology can be totallydifferent. Yesterday, I asked my grandpa about the process to reset mycomputer. Should I press the blue or the red button first? The red oneapparently, answered my grandpa without hesitation. However, unfortunately, Ican never start my computer right after I pressed the red button. It is just alittle thing happened in normal life, I still can ask the professional stuff tofix my computer the other day. However, what will happen if I do the same thingto the computer saves useful commercial information belongs to a superinternational company? Maybe I will be accused for of  destroyingsecret business information. All that things happened just because I accept atiny piece of advice from my agedgrandpa. Therefore, for all the technology fields, advice that our grandparentscan give to us may not be useful.(例子占得篇幅貌似有点儿略多了,可以多加点理论以后再写例子O(_)O~

To sum up, statement like all the advice from our grandparents could not behelpful is inaccurate and things should be contemplated from different pointsof view. For events occurred in normal life, advice from experiencedgrandparents can be of extreme value. On the contrary, in technology field,that advice should be considered several times.
To 包子不包子
水巷从来不敢写正反的文章,觉得好难T.T
包子写得不错啊,上次的两句不加连接词的问题已经不见了,恭喜啦
加油↖(^ω^)
45#
发表于 2012-5-19 12:33:14 | 只看该作者
5.18 综合

The reading explores the issue of attacking buzzers, people who are hired as 'live advertisements' for companies to praise their products. The student, a part-time buzzer, deals with the same topic. However, the student states his opinion as a buzzer from a completely different view.

It mentioned in the reading material that buzzers never tell the truth. The student, on the contrary, disproves that by his personal experience. He says that cell phone company hires buzzers who really think their products are good and enjoy using them, and they do get paid. What the buzzers do is exactly opposite from the commercial advertisement. Therefore, the student casts doubts on the counterpart of the reading.

Moreover, the next point made by the writer is that people believe whatever buzzer says. Again, Bill, the students, claims that there is a precisely opposite situation. When he is buzzing about the cell phone to people,they are always asking people always ask lots of questions about the products, such as how long can they use it and related functions. If people trust every word told by the buzzer they will absolutely not ask any question, which is contradicted with(to?) the scene described by the passage.

At last, the reading insists that buzzers harm the relationship of the society. It is stupid, explains the student,(该句号另起下一句哦?) buzzers are the group of people who love using the products. They will spare no effort to share their true feelings with the consumer. Once customers buy the product they will know how good they are, and no wonder buzzers will be more trustful and open to the public.

To sum up, Bill clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading and convincingly shows that the argument in the passage to attack buzzers are incorrect.

没有什么大问题 综合个别地方注意简洁就好~
46#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-19 12:46:44 | 只看该作者
5.19 综合

Both of the lecture and the reading material explore the consequences of Yellowstone fire. The writer displays three kinds of damages produce by the fire. However, the speaker claims that there are positive results of the fire and natural fire is part of the ecological natural cycle.

It is mentioned in the reading that Yellowstone fire caused tremendous damage to the plants and vegetation. The professor, on the contrary, holds the opposite view that the fore creates new opportunities for some kinds of vegetation. That is to say, the fire replaces tall plants with other sorts of small plants, which even possess a higher diversity. Besides, some seeds must go through the high temperature to germinate. Therefore, the professor's argument contradicts the counterpart of the reading.

Moreover, the next point made by the reading is that wild life in the national park was affected by the fire extremely. Again, the speaker claims that new chances for some types of animals are produced by the fire, which differs from the reading. The small plants talked before bring suitable habits for rabbits and hares, after their settlement, predators that make living on them are able to come back. Accordingly, a stronger food chain is provided by the fire.

At last, the author states that local economy suffered from the fire. Whereas the lecturer disproves that point by explaining how unusual the 1990s fire was to Yellowstone. Only that kind of fire happens each year will the tourism be suffered. She gives the examples of the unusual combination of the weather that year, such as less rainfall and unusual strong wind. Furthermore, this kind of fire has never occurred ever since the 1990s and tourists come back to visit the national park every year after that. No effect on tourism is produced.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the passage and convincingly shows that the argument, three damages produced by natural fire, is incorrect.
47#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-19 13:50:17 | 只看该作者
5.19 独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people in today are less dependent on their parents than in the past.

People now live in an era of information explosion. No matter where you are or what time it is, just by simply pressing a button on your computer or cellphone, myriad of most up-to-date information will come up. Owing to this, young people, who are always more familiar with the brand new technique than their parents, are less likely to depend on their parents compared with the past. More reasons will be given as the following.

To begin with, technology is developing, Internet, Facebook and Twitter jump into people's life, which provide young people with great convenience in communication. In those social networks, people in every field can be found without effort. Merely by clicking the mouse, young people can talk with a professor in biology, math or linguistic face to face to solve problems. Moreover, parents have the limited ability in helping us, they have their own profession. When things happened out of their profession, it is time for the Internet. Again, by typing the questions into Google or Bing, young people can find whatever they want quickly and precisely without bothering their parents. Therefore, due to the technology development, young people are less dependent on their parents than in the past.

Another point will make the statement clear is that more young people nowadays regard their independence as a kind of matureness and braveness. In my community, lots of young people at my age step into the society right after their graduation from high school. They believe people who can live on their own effort rather than their parents are worth respecting. Some of them move out of their parents' house and struggle in the society to achieve success. Other young people insist to do part time job to pay for their college fees. In this way, young people learn to live with themselves, earn money by themselves and study by themselves. No wonder there is less dependence of young people on their parents.

Some people may doubt that whether this independence can bring a health development for the young. In my opinion, mistakes in young people's independent living are impossible to avoid. However, we should not jump into the conclusion that these mistakes are harmful and only negative results are produced. In fact, young people could learn a lot from their own mistakes or experience, which will assist and guide them in their future life. Always, this kind of experience is difficult to forget. With all these instructive experience, how can people announce that there will not be a health development?

To sum up, with the help of myriad, easy accessed information, technology and social network as well as the new conception of matureness and braveness, young people are more independent on their parents than in the past.
48#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-20 13:26:12 | 只看该作者
5.20 综合 综合

Both of the writer and lecturer explore the issue of genetically modified trees. The writer believes that three advantages are provided by the planting of genetically modified trees. On the contrary, the professor states that there are problems and even costs brought by genetically modified trees.

It mentioned in the reading that genetically modified trees are able to survive hardier environment than natural trees. The speaker, however, claims an opposite results that genetically modified trees do not ensure their survival. She explains that a few natural trees can survive a hardier environment, but that is enough to enable their living. For genetically modified trees, they are designed to resist only one situation. When other things happen they will be killed completely. Therefore, the professor’s argument agonists its counterpart in the reading.

Moreover, the next point made by the passage is that genetically modified trees promise to bring economic benefit to people who grow them. Again, the professor disproves that opinion by pointing out the truth that company always charges for a higher price for genetically modified trees from tree farmers than natural trees. Besides, tree farmers cannot simply collect the seeds and plant them next year, instead they have to pay for the company every time those trees are planted. A higher cost is produced rather than economic benefit.

At last, the author believes that genetically modified trees can help to prevent overexploitation from wild trees. Whereas the professor declares that genetically modified trees are more aggressive, and they are inclined to compete with local wild trees for resources, such as water and nutrition. Eventually, genetically modified trees will outcompete the local tree and crowding out them.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading and convincingly shows that the central view in the reading, genetically modified trees will benefit people who plant them, is incorrect.
49#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-20 15:17:35 | 只看该作者
5.20 独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past.

New leisure centers with big screen cinema are next to the street. Most up-to-date information is send to your personal computer every morning. Beautiful countryside sceneries can be accessed easily. Those are all the things happened in modern society only. People in the past do not possess such kind of convenience and pleasure. In my opinion, people now are happier and more satisfied than the past.

To begin with, modern technology provides happiness and satisfaction to people without doubts. With simply a personal computer connected to the Internet at home, people do not have to waste time on the way between their office and home, which is annoying when traffic jam comes up. Besides, more personal environment and flexible time are created due to the working at home. All people have to do is clicking several buttons and start working with their colleagues just like they are working in the office. Comfort and convince are provided to people's everyday life, how can people not feel happy and satisfied?

Another point owns the same value is that more opportunities are produced by modern cities. Cities are developing; consequently, labors are of desperate needed. People from all vacations, labor workers, technique workers and instructors, are all welcomed by large cities. Moreover, the necessity of those people is increasingly gradually. Even people from countryside who want to achieve a better life can find their ideal job now. In this way, the quality of people’s life is ensured, the development of a city is enabled and a harmony society comes to people's life step by step. No complains, sadness and unsatisfactory will ever occur. Compared with the past, people can only work in their birth places because of the less advanced city construction. Farmer family maintains to be farmers. People living in the bottom of the society continue to struggle for food. Nothing about happiness and satisfaction can be seen.

Others may argue that modern world harms people to some extent. People from all over the country gather in one or two cities, which can only bring difficulties in security work and boosting in population. Furthermore, competitions will become fiercer. Local people would suffer from the low cost labors from poorer places. The gap between rich and poor will be enlarged. However, those situations are just dark sides of the modern society. Every coin has two sides, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages of a modern city when talk about the general development. Accordingly, people in present days enjoy more happiness and satisfaction than before.

To sum up, owing to the development of modern technology and cities, people now possess more happiness and satisfaction than the past.
50#
发表于 2012-5-20 23:30:21 | 只看该作者
包子不好意思啊、晨依攒了三篇没有给你改了,这几天赶快给包子补上!
5月19日综合
Both of the lecture and the reading material explore the consequences of Yellowstone fire. The writer displays three kinds of damages produce by the fire. However, the speaker claims that there are positive results of the fire and natural fire is part of the ecological natural cycle.

It is mentioned in the reading that Yellowstone fire caused tremendous damage to the plants and vegetation. The professor, on the contrary, holds the opposite view that the fore creates new opportunities for some kinds of vegetation. That is to say, the fire replaces(个人感觉用replace意思很对但是主语是fire是不是不太合适?) tall plants with other sorts of small plants, which even possess a higher diversity. Besides, some seeds must go through the high temperature to germinate. Therefore, the professor's argument contradicts the counterpart of the reading.(听的好仔细啊,赞!)
Moreover, the next point made by the reading is that wild life in the national park was affected by the fire extremely. Again, the speaker claims that new chances for some types of animals are produced by the fire, which(which不可以指代整个句子) differs from the reading. The small plants talked(?) before bring suitable habits(habitats) for rabbits and hares, after their settlement, predators that make living on them are able to come back. Accordingly, a stronger food chain is provided by the fire.

At last, the author states that local economy suffered from the fire.(我觉得是不是应该加个时间词限定一下,感觉过去时有点突兀呢、包子斟酌下~~)Whereas the lecturer disproves that point by explaining how unusual the 1990s fire was to Yellowstone(the Yellowstone park).(前面加个连词衔接一下)Only that kind of fire happens each year will the tourism be suffered. She gives theexamples(我觉得不是example,应该是elements什么的吧、) of the unusual combination of the weather that year, such as less rainfall and unusual strong wind. Furthermore, this kind of fire has never occurred ever since the 1990s and tourists come back to visit the national park every year after that. No effect on tourism is produced.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the passage and convincingly shows that the argument, three damages produced by natural fire, is incorrect.



Conclusion:包子的作文很茁壮!文章结构有了很大改善,细节也足足的,最欣赏的是,包子用的动词很精妙。以上的蓝色部分包子斟酌哈、晨依水平有限可能有些地方不是很到位的包子包涵一下啦,总体来说真的很好!
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