ChaseDream
搜索
返回列表 发新帖
楼主: 包子不包子
打印 上一主题 下一主题

包子不包子:欢迎拍砖~~

[复制链接]
31#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-16 17:45:16 | 只看该作者
哈哈~
麻烦了 麻烦了~·~
32#
发表于 2012-5-16 19:14:18 | 只看该作者
蓝色背景的是我觉得写得好的,我都背下来了,留着以后用~   ^^
写的很好  思路也很清晰  没有找到什么大的错误
尤其是表达多样化  这点我该好好学一下~
许多词和短语都用的很好




As the rapidly growth happening in economy world, modern cities with
skyscraper monsters gradually become crowded and busy. It seems that the hustle and bustle city life forces people to be impolite. However, not everywhere is experiencing the soaring in population and working pressure. It is too harsh to jump into the conclusion that being polite is not necessary.[我觉得第一段写的很好,切题,把busy和crowded都说清楚了,自己的观点也点明了,而且用词也好。]

To begin with, polite is of fundamental needed in every family. As a Chinese, respect the old and love the young, has always been the principle the people received since they are young. Besides, being polite is regarded as a virtue by all the society. Inside a family(这是不是说in a family就行,inside感觉有点奇怪), being polite is followed precisely by every family member. As rules, their performing assists the family to maintain peach and happiness. Suppose polite has gone out of a family absolutely, what will happen? Children will shout at their parents for them not fulfill their will. Parents will punish their children even though they know it is their fault. Family members will argue about tiny problems rudely. Therefore, it is necessary to be polite in a family.[what will happen 后面的例子既简单有有说服力~]
Another point about will make the statement bright, not like the announcing that everywhere is so busy and crowded and that makes unnecessary for people to be polite. That is so absolute indeed. Still, places like countryside, library and classrooms are not such crowded as mentioned. Once polite is through by people, loud laughing in library, students' fighting in classroom and people barging about trifles in the countryside will be so prevail that it is cruel for people to face the truth. Because no order can be seen in the society, even the environment will be merit to bear for the residents. In all, crowded and busy situation does not appear in each place, polite should not be forget by anyone.

Maybe someone will cast the doubt that in modern world to be polite can gain nothing for personal better life in busy and crowded environment. However, things should not be analyzed in this way. Interaction between people is what matters most. If you do not be polite, how can you expect others to be kind with you as the respond of your impolite calling? Only you perform in a polite manner, will others' behavior profit you and please you. Accordingly, being polite is of extremely necessity for each one. Also, to start immediately is the fast approach for people to get benefit.

To sum up, owing to the actual situation exist in each family and public area. Assert as people do not need to be polite is not exact and it is biased. Being polite cannot be cast down by people even though only the busy and crowded can be experienced.
33#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-17 17:06:46 | 只看该作者
5.17 综合
超时了。。。
The reading explores the issue of ways to address the decline of Torreya. The listening deals with the same topic. However, the professor thinks that all the three possible reasons listed in the reading are unlikely to be true.
It mentioned in the reading that reestablish Torreya in their original locations could ease the problem owing to the cooler and wetter microclimate. The professor, on the contrary, declares that it is unlikely to be achieved. This is because the coolest and dampest microclimate is easily to be affected by changes in the larger region climate. That is to say the almost drained wetlands in Florida and gradual warming global climate both contribute to the impossible of Torreya reestablish, which is raised by the author.
Moreover, the next view made by the writer is that the decline would be eased by the assisted migration. The lecturer contradicts that by pointing out another similar example about black lockist trees 这是什么树啊 中间那个单词听不出来, which kill lots of local endangered trees after being moved to another region by human. In this way, there is an unpredictable outcome of the migration of Torreya. In other words, this solution cannot be put into practice either.
At last, the author asserts that situation can be improved if research center is set up. Whereas the professor claims trees in research center are not able to resist the diseases due to its less population and diversity, which will not happen in a wild area. Therefore, this reason is denied by the professor.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows the central arguments in the reading, reestablish, assisted migration and research center, are incorrect.
34#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-17 18:09:41 | 只看该作者
5.17 独立

又超了两分钟啊啊啊啊。。。码太多字了。。。。

ML It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job would have a secure or successful future



No wonder with the ascent competition and more variously growing of professions in modern career fields, which career will possess a brighter future confused people even they when  are still in collages. Compared with the past, less frequent changes in technology, small population and immatureness of globalization, those are all the possible features could assist people to identify a secure and successful future.


To begin with, globalization was not a prevalent phenomenon in the past. Therefore, little information can be transformed among nations, which means the same situation for crisis. Things like Great Depression are unlikely to make people lose their job in each isolate country. Aside from information transformation, trend followed those super stars cannot create a worldwide influence, which means no necessity for people working in mass production area to change their products every minute and either do they have to worried about what will happen if people do not like the products related to certain star anymore.  In this way, the security of people's job can be promised clearly in the past time, also people can make choices freely.


Another point will make the statement clear is that technology was not advanced, which means great evolution in technology would not appear in such a high frequency like nowadays. Walt created stream engine, thousands positions in factories were offered for a long time. Edison invented bulb, millions of people were hired to work in electricity field for years.  Einstein discovered relativity theory, another thousands works were provided to scientists to enhance that area for decades. Those are all what the topic means. No frequent changes in technology, no rapid shift in people’s job. People will not be forced to change their career according to the popularity of another kind of technology, which is another kind of insurance for their job. Unlike these days, new technology spreads out through the world at the second minutes they are proposed. Obviously, no one can presume what will happen to their profession in the next second.


Some people may announce that right now there are thousands kinds of occupations for people to pick and there are great needs in the market. On the contrary, in the past, there were just few. Indeed the variety of job is increased. Unfortunately, things like more security in job are not an accurate prediction. Population has grown tenfold over the last century, what can be ensured is that the competition is tenfold to some extent. Accordingly, it is easier for people in the past to identify their career.


To sum up, because of globalization, developed technology and soaring population, hardly can people identify whether they make correct choice to ensure themselves a security and successful future.
35#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-17 18:12:29 | 只看该作者
膜拜了小鹤鹤的综合~!
也来规划个模板~
好好练听力了。。。
36#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-18 10:30:01 | 只看该作者
5.18 综合

The reading explores the issue of attacking buzzers, people who are hired as 'live advertisements' for companies to praise their products. The student, a part-time buzzer, deals with the same topic. However, the student states his opinion as a buzzer from a completely different view.

It mentioned in the reading material that buzzers never tell the truth. The student, on the contrary, disproves that by his personal experience. He says that cell phone company hires buzzers who really think their products are good and enjoy using them, and they do get paid. What the buzzers do is exactly opposite from the commercial advertisement. Therefore, the student casts doubts on the counterpart of the reading.
Moreover, the next point made by the writer is that people believe whatever buzzer says. Again, Bill, the students, claims that there is a precisely opposite situation. When he is buzzing about the cell phone to people, they are always asking lots of questions about the products, such as how long can they use it and related functions. If people trust every word told by the buzzer they will absolutely not ask any question, which is contradicted with the scene described by the passage.

At last, the reading insists that buzzers harm the relationship of the society. It is stupid, explains the student, buzzers are the group of people who love using the products. They will spare no effort to share their true feelings with the consumer. Once customers buy the product they will know how good they are, and no wonder buzzers will be more trustful and open to the public.

To sum up, Bill clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading and convincingly shows that the argument in the passage to attack buzzers are incorrect.
37#
发表于 2012-5-18 12:02:56 | 只看该作者
5.17 独立 蓝色为意见或建议 高亮为精彩 绿色为总结  红色为错误
又超了两分钟啊啊啊啊。。。码太多字了。。。。
ML It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or jobwould have a secure or successful future

No wonder with the ascent competition and more variously growing of professionsin modern career fields, which career will possess a brighter future confusedpeople even they(
去掉) when (they) are still in collages (colleges). Comparedwith the past, less frequent changes in technology, small population andimmatureness of globalization, those are all the possible features could assistpeople to identify a secure and successful future. (既然用的是compared with the past,那么接下来应该说的是现代blablalz貌似写的的是古代怎么样啊,雨巷觉得不太合适呢)

To begin with, globalization was not a prevalent phenomenon in the past. Therefore,little information can be transformed among nations, whichmeans the same situation for crisis.
(?) Things like Great Depression are unlikely to make people lose theirjob in each isolate country. Aside from informationtransformation, trend followed those super stars cannot create a worldwideinfluence, which means no necessity for people working in mass production areato change their products every minute and either do they have to worried worryaboutwhat will happen if people do not like the products related to certain staranymore.  (这么长的句子。。。。whichmeans 可以换成In otherword/ that is to say等另起一句ps发现lz文章很多whichmeans ,可以考虑替换哦)In this way, thesecurity of people's job can be promised clearly in the past time, also people can make choices freely.(两个句子了要么加连接词,要么另起,建议 and people can make choicesfreely as well.


Another point will makethe statement clear is that technology was not advanced, which meansgreat evolution in technology would not appear in such a high frequency likenowadays. Walt created stream engine, thousandspositions in factories were offered for a long time. Edison invented bulb,millions of people were hired to work in electricity field for years. Einstein discovered relativity theory, another thousands works wereprovided to scientists to enhance that area for decades. (
这些例子貌似都是两个句子木有连接词就放到了一句话里==)Those areall what the topic means. No frequent changes in technology, no rapid shift inpeople’s job.(这句话才应该是你上面三个例子的TS吧,第一句感觉明显不搭额) People will not be forced to change their careeraccording to the popularity of another kind of technology,which is another kind of (两个another kind of 出现同一句话里 直接说aninsurance 或者oneof insurances ok 啊)insurance for their job. Unlike these days, new technology spreads outthrough the world at the second minutes they are proposed. Obviously, no onecan presume what will happen to their profession in the next second.

Some people may announce that right now there are thousands kinds of
sorts ofoccupations for people to pick and there are great needs in themarket. On the contrary, in the past, there were just few. Indeed the varietyof job is increased. Unfortunately, things like more security in job are not anaccurate prediction. Population has grown tenfoldover the last century, what can be ensured is that the competition is tenfoldto some extent. (又是两句话,木有连接词)Accordingly, itis easier for people in the past to identify their career.

To sum up, because of globalization, developed technology and soaring population, hardly can people identifywhether they make correct choice to ensure themselves a security and successfulfuture.

To 包子不包子:
1.在这么短的时间写出这么多字,还木有错误,雨巷着实佩服O(_)O~
2.需要注意的问题啊,lz很喜欢两个句子放在一起不加连接词唉
38#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-18 12:54:46 | 只看该作者
5.18 独立

Old people are always considered to be the symbol of wisdom in my country, and even in Tang Dynasty, old people's words often win the great concern of the emperor. From my point of view, though in the past fifty years the world has changed so much, the old people have been through all those events successfully.
Accordingly, they are experienced without doubts. Therefore, it is to harsh to jump into the absolute conclusion that the advice from our grandparents are useless. It depends on the questions we ask about to some extent.

To begin with, grandparents are experienced. Their advice for significant things in normal life should be given enough consideration. You will take the burden if you do not listen to the old, is the old saying in China that examines what the situation means. Should we go to work right after graduation? Should we marry a person from an extremely different culture? Or should we devote ourselves in charity area foe the whole life? Indeed, revolutionary changes happened in the society in the past years, grandparents saw them, talked to them and even competed with them and they survived. How can we not listen to the words from a winner? Besides, grandparents love us, they will do whatever they can to assist us even though they have to cast down their old fashion opinion and learn the new one.

On the other hand, things related to modern technology can be totally different. Yesterday, I asked my grandpa about the process to reset my computer. Should I press the blue or the red button first? The red one apparently, answered my grandpa without hesitation. However, unfortunately, I can never start my computer right after I pressed the red button. It is just a little thing happened in normal life, I still can ask the professional stuff to fix my computer the other day. However, what will happen if I do the same thing to the computer saves useful commercial information belongs to a super international company? Maybe I will be accused for destroying secret business information. All that things happened just because I accept a tiny piece of advice from my aged grandpa. Therefore, for all the technology fields, advice that our grandparents can give to us may not be useful.

To sum up, statement like all the advice from our grandparents could not be helpful is inaccurate and things should be contemplated from different points of view. For events occurred in normal life, advice from experienced grandparents can be of extreme value. On the contrary, in technology field, that advice should be considered several times.
39#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-18 13:01:44 | 只看该作者
恩 语法 T,T
一直以来不愿意理的事。。。
研究了一下 清楚多了~
谢谢雨巷~
40#
发表于 2012-5-18 15:31:27 | 只看该作者
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people have no influence on the decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole.



Young people are the morning sun of a country为什么我觉得外国人应该是没有这种讲法的。。很容易让人联想到毛主席时代啊。。。; their brightness cannot be shadowed by any other social groups to some extent. Courage, active and youth are their advantages, depending on those qualities, how can young people have no influence on the discussions that determine the future of the society? 这里的观点是不是应该再明确一点?I will demonstrate my reasons as the following parts.

In the first position, young people are active in innovation world, which has great impacts over (on)a society's future development. Though they are young, they are creative and brave enough to publish their idea to the world, besides young inventers are needleless to count during the gradual quicken developing pace of human society. Walt created the steam engine not even reached his thirties. Nothing has to say about the great contribution of steam engine to human industry during the 1800s. Jobs, another creator, he managed to construct Apple to be a company that lead the fashion trend of computers and Walkman, which even influence the recognition of social statue among people. All this creations were planned during the youth of Jobs. In all, the action and decisions of young people cannot be ignored due to their magnificent influence over(on) the society.

Another point of same value is that young people are energetic than aged people as well as they are more experienced than the teenager in terms of decision making个人认为这句可以去掉啊~本来就是和老人比,不用加入青少年之类的吧~这样会显得比较啰嗦,观点还是简洁一点好. In this situation, it seems that they are the best candidates to take the burden of the future of a society. Even though wrong decisions are made by unconscious, more time to contemplate deeply and much energy to work even harder would probably assist them to compensate for the mistake produced by then before. Besides, young people are also a large group of the society, they are given the right to vote, to be voted and to demo fully with their own willing, and how can young people create no function in the decision making about the future of a society? It is merely a biased conclusion.

Some people may argue that young people are not mature enough, so it is dangerous for the young to decide the fortune of a whole society. It is true though, compared with the old. However, their young, their not matureness will benefit the society with ample brand new decisions that have never been proposed by the old ever before. New trend leading people's understanding, new(。New) technology enhancing the industrial pace of the society and up-to-date construction decision made for the need of young people, which can only be understand by their peers.

To sum up, young people plays a fundamental role in the decision making to decide the future of a whole society in variety of fields.

不好意思,这两天有事,拖到今天才给你改
有几点建议:这么长的文章你能写完么??是不是可以缩减一下的。。。如果你打字速度够快,请忽略这一点
然后。。。没有然后了。。。
你写的挺好的。。。
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS



近期活动

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2024-11-25 16:50
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2023 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部