【写作小分队】sang的作文贴，求狠拍！

sang824

5,6综合
Both reading and listening passage talk about the possibility that American company would adopt the certification in order to conserve resource and at the same time attract customers. The reading passage afraids that the United Stated wouldn’t receive the ecocertification, However, the professor contradicts the viewpoint in  the following three ways.

To start with, the passage points out that American customers may not interested in the ecocertification label, especially during the time when more and more “new” lables emerge. However, the professor challenges the idea by illustrating that American customers do not trust advertising company’s claim. When a claim is made by an independent third group,they have special interest in environmental friendly products and thus may consider ecocertification more trustworthy.


Secondly, the professor states that money plays an unimportant role especially under small difference in contradiction of the statement in the reading passage, indicating that American customers are more willing to choose cheaper and uncertified products. Taking environmental factors into consideration, the customers’ inclination to ecocertification is more obvious .


Last but not the least, the passage asserts that American company only contends with its domestically manufactured products, even they are not eco friendly. On the contrary, the professor contends that American companies pay great attention to foreign competition, if they can dominate the markets by applying ecocertification, the tendency that foreign company would crowd into American market targed at its ecocertification will last.

sang824

5月7日11.7.8 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to choose a friend with whom you can have fun than to choose a friend that will help you when you are in need. Use specific examples to support your answer.

Obviously, friend plays an indispensable part in everyone’s time, with friends we grow together, learn from each other and share happiness and sorrow. When it comes to whether choose a friend with whom you can have fun or who will help when you are in need, I definitely choose the latter on as a real friend.

On the on hand, as the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend in deed.” The most apparent difference between friend and stranger is that a friend gives you a hand whenever you need assistant. When I was in my junior year at high school, I lost my grandmother, who kept an eye on me when I was a little girl. I was so heart-broken that could not concentrate on my study even confronted with the most important moment in my life—the college entrance examination. It was my intimate friend who accompied me and drugged me from the dark hell, she sacrificed her study time to comfort me and stood by me no matter I was crying or express my emotion. I own her enormous gratitude for her in time assistant when I was in need. Real friends are warm harbor to make you comfort when frustrated, are candle to light up the sunshine that glitter your darkness inside and are voices to push you forward. By making friend, we learn to respect each other and sacrifice for others, that is actually what truly friendship is.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that we build up friendship on same interest and the joyful moment we spend together. However, real friends are much more profound than those seemingly warm-hearted and kind weather fair friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who smiles with you and praise you in front, but fails to lend you a large amount of money when you are in desperate need, pretend to miss the phone call in the middle night, during which time you were caught in the storm without figuring out what to do or avoids your on purpose when your situation goes down day after day. Admittedly, we get known to each other for having fun together, more importantly, we make friend to assist each other and thus come to our self-realization.

To sum up, in view of a real friendship, it is supposed to choose a friend who is willing to help when you are in need. Friends are part of family, by whom we realize how to respect and help others. Only in this way can friendship become more solid and last forever.

maylovehe1

Both reading and listening passage talk about the possibility that American company would adopt the certification in order to conserve resource and at the same time attract customers. The reading passage afraids (afraid) that the United Stated wouldn’t receive the ecocertification, however, the professor contradicts the viewpoint in the following three ways. (I don’t know if “The United stated” mentioned in your paragraph is correct. I would say consumer in the US…)

To start with, the passage points out that American customers may not interested in the ecocertification label, especially during the time when more and more “new” lables (labels) emerge. However, the professor challenges the idea by illustrating that American customers do not trust advertising company’s claim. When a claim is made by an independent third group, they have special interest in environmental friendly products and thus may consider ecocertification as more trustworthy. (Consider…as..)

Secondly, the professor states that money plays an unimportant role especially under small difference in contradiction of the statement in the reading passage, indicating that American customers are more willing to choose cheaper and uncertified products. Taking environmental factors into consideration, the customers’ inclination to ecocertification is more obvious .


à I found some information regarding the meaning of this lecture. I think we need to reconsider if the expression is covered the focus.

第二，诚然美国消费者对价格很敏感。可是谁不是这样的呢？但是消费选择的研究发现只有当价格差很大的时候价格才会成为唯一的决定因素。当两个产品的价格差很小，比如小于百分之五的时候，其他因素就会影响美国消费者的选择。而认证木材的价格差恰好在这个范围。而且美国人越来越重视环境保护了。




Last but not the least, the passage asserts that American company only contends with its domestically manufactured products, even they are not eco friendly. On the contrary, the professor contends that American companies pay great attention to foreign competition, if they can dominate the markets by applying ecocertification, the tendency that foreign company would crowd into American market targed at its ecocertification will last.



à In lecture:

第三，美国木材公司必须要关注国际木柴行业的趋势。这不是因为国外的消费者，而是因为国外的同行。我可以告诉大家，美国的消费者会对环保产品越来越感兴趣，而这是一个极佳的机会。为什么呢？这是因为如果美国的公司没有及时地抓住消费者，那么当国外的公司提供美国所没有的环保产品，他们可以很快递占领美国市场。

Overall speaking, quite good for your composition.  haha

maylovehe1

Obviously, friend plays an indispensable part in everyone’s time, with friends we grow together, learn from each other and share happiness and sorrow. When it comes to whether choose a friend with whom you can have fun or who will help when you are in need, I definitely choose the latter on as a real friend.

On the on hand (On one hand),as the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend in deed.” The most apparent difference between friend and stranger is that a friend gives you a hand whenever you need assistant. When I was in my junior year at high school, I lost my grandmother, who kept an eye on me when I was a little girl. I was so heart-broken that could not concentrate on my study even confronted with the most important moment in my life—the college entrance examination. It was my intimate friend who accompied (accompanied with) me and drugged me from the dark hell, she sacrificed her study time to comfort me and stood by me no matter I was crying or express my emotion. I own her enormous gratitude for her in time assistant when I was in need. Real friends are warm harbor to make you comfort when frustrated, are candle to light up the sunshine that glitter your darkness inside and are voices to push you forward. By making friend, we learn to respect each other and sacrifice for others, that is actually what truly friendship is.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that we build up friendship on same interest and the joyful moment we spend together. However, real friends are much more profound than those seemingly warm-hearted and kind weather fair friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who smiles with you and praise you in front, but fails to lend (borrow) you a large amount of money when you are in desperate need, pretend to miss the phone call in the middle night, during which time you were caught in the storm without figuring out what to do or avoids your on purpose when your situation goes down day after day. Admittedly, we get known to each other for having fun together, more importantly, we make friend to assist each other and thus come to our self-realization.


à Personally, I prefer your first paragraph. Your second part is less convincing than your first part. To think more on how to deliver, those friends who we have fun with but cannot assist on us when we are in poor situation.


To sum up, in view of a real friendship, it is supposed to choose a friend who is willing to help when you are in need. Friends are part of family, by whom we realize how to respect and help others. Only in this way can friendship become more solid and last(lasting) forever.

à Use of word is good. Organization is okay.

à Must be improved on the example use and more clear to express your idea.

一起 加油!

晨依Jacqueline

5月7日 独立修改
Obviously, (a)friend plays an indispensable part in everyone’s time, with friends we grow together, learn from each other and share happiness and sorrow. When it comes to whether choose a friend with whom you can have fun or who will help when you(觉得这里转述问题是再用you不是很合适) are in need, I definitely choose the latter on(one) as a real friend.

On the on(one)hand, as the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend in deed(indeed).” The most apparent difference between friend and stranger is that a friend gives you a hand whenever you need assistant(assistance). When I was in my junior year at high school, I lost my grandmother, who kept an eye on me when I was a little girl. I was so heart-broken that (I)could not concentrate on my study even confronted with the most important moment in my life—the college entrance examination. It was my intimate friend who accompied(accompanied) me and drugged me from the dark hell, (这里是下一句啦。)she sacrificed her study time to comfort me and stood by me no matter I was crying or express(ing)my emotion. I own(owe) her enormous gratitude for her in time(timely)assistant when I was in need. Real friends are warm harbor to make you comfort when frustrated, are candle to light up the sunshine that glitter(s) your darkness inside and are voices to push you forward. By making friend, we learn to respect each other and sacrifice for others, that is actually what truly friendship is.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that we build up friendship on same interest and the joyful moment we spend together. However, real friends are much more profound than those seemingly warm-hearted and kind weather fair(?) friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who smiles with you and praise(s) you in front, but fails to lend you a large amount of money when you are in desperate need, pretend(pretends?pretending)to miss(missing) the phone call in the middle night(at midnight), during which time you were caught in the storm without figuring out what to do or avoids your on purpose when your situation goes down day after day. (这个句子太长啦，看得有点费劲，不如分成两三句句子结构更清晰，可以让ETS的评分员省省脑cell~哈哈。)Admittedly, we get known to each other for having fun together, more importantly, we make friend to assist each other and thus come to our self-realization.(这里实际上是两个句子，More importantly...)

To sum up, in view of a real friendship, it is supposed to choose a friend who is willing to help when you are in need. Friends are part of family, by whom we realize how to respect and help others. Only in this way can friendship become more solid and last forever.







总得来说sang亲写得很不错啦~注意的地方一个是小细节，这个可以考完试自己留几分钟check一下；另外是一个句子不要两个主语，可以加连词或者可以分为两句写。

tyyhappy

红色是修改，蓝色是疑问，黄色精彩。
Obviously, friend plays an indispensable part in everyone’s time, (两个句子并列了加个and) with friends we grow together, learn from each other and share happiness and sorrow. When it comes to whether （to 用法：whether to do）choose a friend with whom you can have fun or who will help when you are in need, I definitely choose the latter on as a real friend（这个句子很长，个人觉得可以换个说法使结构更加简单。）.

On the on hand（on one hand）, as the saying goes, “a friend in need is a friend in deed.” The most apparent difference between friend(s) and stranger(s) is that a friend gives you a hand whenever you need assistant(assistance). When I was in my junior year at high school, I lost my grandmother, who kept an eye on me when I was a little girl. I was so heart-broken that could not concentrate on my study even(even 是个副词，建议用and even could not confront) confronted with the most important moment in my life—the college entrance examination. It was my intimate friend who accompied(accompanied) me and drugged me from the dark hell, (and) she sacrificed her study time to comfort me and stood(个人觉得用stand 做为to comfort 的并列效果更好，表示是她贡献时间来站在我身边不论什么时候，不过还是看作者意思。) by me no matter I was crying or express(个人觉得用expressing更好) my emotion. I own（owe） her enormous gratitude for her in time assistant(assistance) when I was in need. Real friends are warm harbor to make you comfort when frustrated, are candle to light up the sunshine that glitter your darkness inside and are voices to push you forward. By making friend(s), we learn to respect each other and sacrifice for others, that is actually what truly friendship is.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that we build up friendship on (the) same interest and the joyful moment we spend together. However, real friends are much more profound than those seemingly warm-hearted and kind weather fair（?） friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who smiles with you and praise(s) you in front, but fails to lend you a large amount of money when you are in desperate need, pretend(ing) to miss the phone call in the middle night, during which time you were caught in the storm without figuring out what to do or avoids your on purpose when your situation goes down day after day. （这个句子很长，也许可以拆下说下，两个并列句也挺有气势的。）Admittedly, we get known to each other for having fun together, more importantly, we make friend(s) to assist each other and thus come to our self-realization.

To sum up, in view of a real friendship, it is supposed to choose a friend who is willing to help when you are in need. Friends are part of family, by whom we realize how to respect and help others. Only in this way can friendship become more solid and last forever.



To sang
happy意见比较多，希望sang表要介意哈^_^
结构清晰，总分结构。

用词丰富，句式变化多样。

注意细节错误，个人认为有些句子过于长了，有些冗杂。

sang824

这篇文章被改了三遍耶嘿嘿..谢谢三位亲的意见！

一起加油！~

sang824

5月8日11.9.16 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer.

It is undoubtedly that parents have an overwhelming influence on their children throughout their lives. They teach their children how to speak, how to behavior well in the society and how to build up their value of life. Dose it mean children should choose the same career as their parents? As far as I’m concerned, children should be totally uncontrolled when choosing a career.

For one thing, children are human being, they have their own likes and dislikes, in this way they have the ability to find out what they really interested in and choose a suitable career for themselves. As is know to all, interest is the best teacher, choosing a career perfectly to their satisfactory has positive influence on their behavior at work as well as plays an important part in their career development. A friend of mine, who goes against their parents’ wish to become a doctor, works as a computer engineer instead. Arduous as the job is, he shows great passion in his daily life, puts his heart and soul into every subject and experiment he attends and is always enthusiastic and curious about the unknown fields. When faced with difficulties and challenges, he never gives up and his passion and interest function as the dominate motivations that push him forward. As time goes by, he succeed in achieving a high level in computer field. Currently he lives a joyful life because the most exciting thing is to work with computer everyday. It is never too exaggerate to regard interest as the best incentive in one’s career.

For another, it is not uncommon for children to choose an identical career as their parents, only if they show strong interest in such fields. At that note, parents can teach them basic knowledge related at a very young age and provide them with all they can offer in these areas, such as best guildence, most advanced theory and practice, not to mention introduce them to a well fame instructor. However, if their children are forced to take the same career as their parents, something unfortunate happens. They get bored of what they handle with everyday, complain their parents about oblige them to deal with issue totally opposite to their apitites, or feel desperate because of the darkness side of their lives. Admittedly, parents provide best resources for children unless they themselves have a negative attitude towards an identical career.

To sum up, taking individual’s interest and willingness into consideration, it is necessary for children to choose a career they really fascinate with. Otherwise would it does harm to their career or lives, even they enjoy the best resource and atmosphere.

sang824

5月9日11.8.5 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.

So important our friends are that they share happiness and sorrow with us, set up goals and struggle with us and, most importantly, give us a hand when we are in need. However, whether it is a good option to ask friends for help when one finds difficulties passing an examination? As far as I am concerned, tutor is the better choice when comforted such problems.

To start with, no matter how good friends are at the subject, their academic skill can never compare with a tutor. Tutor always hold a general network of the knowledge and knows which part of conception is of great significance. When they ask the tutor for help, a tutor is readily to guild them an apparent way and tells them to which part they have to pay special attention. In this way, it is useful for them to make best use of the limited time preparing for the examination. Furthermore, based on tutor’s accumulated experience and profound comprehension to the subject, it is not difficult to find out students’ weakness and correct their mistakes. For on thing, turning to a tutor for assistance can accelerate the process to solve the problem. For another, students are able to build a deeper understanding and impression to certain subjects.

Moreover, it is risky to ask friends for help, especially when they have lots of assignments and experiments to handle with, which is often the case for each individual. Taking friends’ time may, on the one hand, make them involve into unnecessary disturbance, on the other hand, it is also possible that your hard works are totally in vain because of all the important concepts, your friends have no idea what the most efficient way to review is. On that note, friends are not suitable for you to conquer an examination.

Admittedly, turning to friends is convenient because they are easy to be found without making an appointment. It is also unnecessary to worry that they may look down upon you or blame you for your poor knowledge and academic attainment. Nevertheless, it is the tutors that take responsibility to drug students’ out of their problems and assist them with greatest passion and enthusiasm. Thus, it is never too exaggerate to assert that asking tutor for help when one finds difficulties in passing an examination is troublesome and inappropriate.

In conclusion, in order to make best use of limited time to pass an examination without adding trouble to your friends, the best method is to turn on a tutor. Only in this way can they get rid off their difficulties as soon as possible.

包子不包子

So important our friends are that they share happiness and sorrow with us, set up goals and struggle with us and, and 在逗号后吧most importantly, give us a hand when we are in need. However, whether it is a good option to ask friends for help when one finds difficulties passing an examination? 不是疑问句吧As far as I am concerned, tutor is the better choice when comforted confronted?such problems.开头可以更精彩的~~

To start with, no matter how good friends are at the subject, their academic skill can never compare with a tutor. Tutor always是不是太绝对了？ hold a general network of the knowledge and knows know which part of conception is of great significance. When they ask the tutor for help, a tutor is readily有些奇怪 好像不能这样用啊to guild them in an apparent way and tells tell them to which part they have to pay special attention. In this way, it is useful for them to make best use of the limited time preparing for the examination.没有看出来和上句的联系呀 Furthermore, based on tutor’s accumulated experience and profound comprehension to the subject, it is not difficult to find out students’ weakness and correct their mistakes. For on one thing, turning to a tutor for assistance can accelerate the process to solve the problem. For another, students are able to buildbuild understanding不能搭配的说a deeper understanding and impression to certain subjects.

Moreover, it is risky to ask friends for help, especially when they have lots of assignments and experiments to handle with, which is often the case for each individual. Taking friends’ time may, on the one hand, make them involve into unnecessary disturbance, on the other hand, it is also possible that your hard works are totally in vain because of all the important concepts, your friends have no idea what the most efficient way to review is. On that note, friends are not suitable for you to conquer不确定能不能这样用啊an examination.

Admittedly, turning to friends is convenient because they are easy to be found without making an appointment. It is also unnecessary to worry that they may look down upon you or blame you for your poor knowledge and academic attainment. Nevertheless, it is the tutors that take responsibility to drug students’ out of their problems and assist them with greatest passion and enthusiasm. Thus, it is never too exaggerate to assert that asking tutor for help when one finds difficulties in passing an examination is troublesome and inappropriate.这段很好的！

In conclusion, in order to make best use of limited time to pass an examination without adding trouble to your friends, the best method is to turn on a tutor. Only in this way can they get rid off their difficulties as soon as possible.


总体还是蛮好的 结构很完善 就是开头部分小问题有些多
想出来很多方面呢 厉害厉害~