【写作小分队】sang的作文贴，求狠拍！

sang824

5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friends.

So profound influence friends exert on us that we share happiness and sorrow, set up goals and struggle together and give each other a hand when in need. However, is it true that no matter how intimate friends are, it is impossible to be completely honest with them? As far as I am concerned, I seriously cast this statement into doubt and hold the viewpoint that real friendship can lack anything but honesty.

First and foremost, honesty is the foundation of friendship, only complete belief can we win trust from friends. No one can tolerate a friend, who praises and speaks highly of you in front while behaves totally different at your back. My friend sherry, unfortunately, fails to keep her promise to take my place as the supervisor of a project during my absence. Frustrated consequence as our team received, in spite of facing the possibility to be blamed, she admitted her fault and sincerely showed her apologize to me. On the contrary, not only do I angry with her, but she also obtains my complete trust as a result. Although sometime the truth is hurting and hard to receive, it is better to lie because of the so-called benefits. Under such circumstances, it is never too exaggerated to assert that honesty is an indispensable part of friendship, without which nothing can continue smoothly among friends.

Furthermore, friends have significant distinction between competitors and strangers. People conceal business secrets to their competitors, state something unreal about their products at the mere wish to attract as many consumers as possible, or, even worse, send fake information to enemies in order to destroy them. Such is human nature, that they always take more self-benefits out of instinct. However, friends care about us and are part of our family, to whom we are supposed to spare no secrets.

Admittedly, it is understandable that people lie to friends out of selfish. Afraid to be inferior to friends, they claim to have fun every night but endeavor to study instead, or even participate in competition, attend interview or take training without informing their friends. If you encounter friends behave in this way, I would like to suggest you stay away from them. These kinds of people are not real friends. A veritable friend is someone with whom you fight together, who raises you up when you confronted with adversities and challenges and who is proud of you at time you obtain brilliant achievement or succeed. Nothing can be compared, with the enthusiasm in friends’ hearts, with the timely assistance from friends and with their determinations to go through thick and thin with you.

In a nutshell, on the one hand, to build up friendship, one is obliged to be honest to each other. On the other hand, it is naturally that trueborn friends are trustworthy. Taking all factors into consideration, no excuse can be maintained not to be completely honest with your friends.

写的各种纠结..怕不小心就偏题了...

lxc1989614

514,TPO15 综合

Both reading and listening passage talk about the measures to stop the spread of the cane toad in Australia. 这里最好加一个转折词The professor asserts three reasons to contradict the methods mentioned in reading passage.

To begin with, the professor considers it is too general to build a national fence in order to prevent the separationspreading of toad, as the reading passage mentions. She points out that young toads and their eggs spread through stream and water wave. Under this circumstance,only a few toads move through fence这里跟听力有出入吧，好像是说那些东西大部分会过去才导致无效, it is obvious that such method is ineffective.

Moreover, the reading passage asserts that toads could be captured and devastated by volunteers. Although agrees with the proposal, the professor also mentions that untrained volunteers may threaten the native frogs, why?听力里有说他们不会区分，这个才是重要的内容some of which are endangered.

Last but not the least, the reading passage recommends the import of virus to control the cane toad population. On the contrary, the professor casts the r ecommendation into doubt by indicating that it would affect the king toad’s habitanthabitat as well as transport such virus to American by toads, exerting profound influence to native habitants consequently. Furthermore, owing to the dominant position of native spieces, it would do harm to the whole ecosystem in America.

In conclusion, the professor challenges the statement in the above three ways.

总体来说还是蛮好的，但是我觉得你的听力有一些好像听得不是很精准，不过最后一段我自己也听得不是很好，有几个点没搞清楚~

易雨水巷

5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honestwith your friends.

So profound influence friends exert onus thatwe share happiness and sorrow, set up goals and struggle together and give eachother a hand when in need. However, is it true that no matter how intimatefriends are, it is impossible to be completely honest with them? As far as I amconcerned, I seriously castthis statement into doubt and hold the viewpoint that real friendshipcan lack anything but honesty.

First and foremost, honesty is the foundation of friendship, only complete belief can we win trust from friends. (sang可以再查一下only的倒装，这样用是不对的，only后接名词或代词，句子不倒装；只有only后接状语从句，介词短语，副词，句子才部分倒装。另外这是两个句子，要用连接词and之类的把honesty句和only句联系起来)No one can tolerate a friend, who praises and speakshighly of you in front while behaves totally different at your back. （这句和下面例子不搭，sang再斟酌一下，是换例子还是直接删掉）My friend sherry, unfortunately, fails to keep herpromise to take my place as the supervisor of a project during my absence. Frustrated （形容consequence应该用frustrating?） consequence as our team received, (as的倒装O(∩_∩)O哈！)，in spite of facing the possibility to be blamed, she admittedher fault and sincerely showed her apologize to me. Onthe contrary, not only do I angry with her, but she also obtains my completetrust as a result. （这句话，前后矛盾）Although sometimethe truth is hurting（你再确认下这个词的意思） and hard to receive（貌似receive过了，换个accept试试？）, it is better to lie because of the so-called benefits. Under such circumstances, it is never too exaggerated toassert that honesty is an indispensable part of friendship, withoutwhich nothing can continue smoothly among friends.

Furthermore, friends have significant distinction between（from 不然用between成了那个竞争者和陌生人之间的区别了，但猜测sang应该是要表达朋友和陌生人&竞争者的区别吧）competitors and strangers. People conceal business secrets to （conceal from）their competitors, state something unreal about their products at themere wish to attract as many consumers as possible, or, even worse, send fake information to enemiesin order to destroy them. Such is human nature,that they always take more self-benefits out of instinct.（这句话可以不要啊，感觉对sang支持的论点不好呢） However, friends care about us and are part of ourfamily, to whom we are supposed to spare no secrets.（我觉得如果是这样的话，sang在这里要加些细节或者例子来支持朋友是怎么做的，不然前面大段写了陌生人&竞争者的不好，后面就只有空荡荡的一句话）

Admittedly, it is understandable that people lie to friends out of selfish.Afraid to be inferior to friends, they claim to have fun every night butendeavor to study instead, or even participate in competition, attend interviewor take training without informing their friends. If you encounter friends behave （who behave / behaving）in this way, I would like to suggest you stay away from them. Thesekinds of people are not real friends. A veritable friend is someone with whom you fighttogether, who raises you up when you confronted with adversities and challenges and who is proudof you at time （还是用when吧，attime貌似是偶尔的意思）you obtainbrilliant achievement or succeed. Nothing can be compared, with the enthusiasmin friends’ hearts, with the timely assistance from friends and with theirdeterminations to gothrough thick and thin with you.

In a nutshell, on the one hand, to build up friendship, one is obliged to behonest to each other. On the other hand, it is naturally that trueborn friends aretrustworthy. Taking all factors into consideration, no excuse can be maintainednot to be completely honest with your friends.
TO sang
1.文章字数绝对够又木有单词拼写等错误，牛叉O(∩_∩)O~
2.依然如此丰富的词汇&各种倒装等句式的应用，赞\(^o^)/~
3.关于you在独立中我记得有人说过最好不要在文章中出现~
4.关于偏题问题，这个题目的话，从分析来说，反面比较好写，因为你只要举出不得不撒谎的例子来就好了。。。。但是sang这样写很不错O(∩_∩)O~
PS 看sang的文，总是勾起很多高中的回忆，only的倒装曾经高中二年半在某位老师的要求下，必用作文结尾句，甚至曾笑言，看到only倒装就知道是我们班的孩儿写的，唉，人老了，果然就容易回忆了%>_<%

sang824

5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honestwith your friends.

So profound influence friends exert onus thatwe share happiness and sorrow, set up goals and struggle together and give eachother a hand when in need. However, is it true that no matter how intimatefriends are, it is impossible to be completely honest with them? As far as I amconcerned, I seriously castthis statement into doubt and hold the viewpoint that real friendshipcan lack anything but honesty.

First and foremost, honesty is the foundation of friendship, only complete belief can we win trust from friends. (sang可以再查一下only的倒装，这样用是不对的，only后接名词或代词，句子不倒装；只有only后接状语从句，介词短语，副词，句子才部分倒装。另外这是两个句子，要用连接词and之类的把honesty句和only句联系起来)No one can tolerate a friend, who praises and speakshighly of you in front while behaves totally different at your back. （这句和下面例子不搭，sang再斟酌一下，是换例子还是直接删掉）My friend sherry, unfortunately, fails to keep herpromise to take my place as the supervisor of a project during my absence. Frustrated （形容consequence应该用frustrating?） consequence as our team received, (as的倒装O(∩_∩)O哈！)，in spite of facing the possibility to be blamed, she admittedher fault and sincerely showed her apologize to me. Onthe contrary, not only do I angry with her, but she also obtains my completetrust as a result. （这句话，前后矛盾）Although sometimethe truth is hurting（你再确认下这个词的意思） and hard to receive（貌似receive过了，换个accept试试？）, it is better to lie because of the so-called benefits. Under such circumstances, it is never too exaggerated toassert that honesty is an indispensable part of friendship, withoutwhich nothing can continue smoothly among friends.

Furthermore, friends have significant distinction between（from 不然用between成了那个竞争者和陌生人之间的区别了，但猜测sang应该是要表达朋友和陌生人&竞争者的区别吧）competitors and strangers. People conceal business secrets to （conceal from）their competitors, state something unreal about their products at themere wish to attract as many consumers as possible, or, even worse, send fake information to enemiesin order to destroy them. Such is human nature,that they always take more self-benefits out of instinct.（这句话可以不要啊，感觉对sang支持的论点不好呢） However, friends care about us and are part of ourfamily, to whom we are supposed to spare no secrets.（我觉得如果是这样的话，sang在这里要加些细节或者例子来支持朋友是怎么做的，不然前面大段写了陌生人&竞争者的不好，后面就只有空荡荡的一句话）

Admittedly, it is understandable that people lie to friends out of selfish.Afraid to be inferior to friends, they claim to have fun every night butendeavor to study instead, or even participate in competition, attend interviewor take training without informing their friends. If you encounter friends behave （who behave / behaving）in this way, I would like to suggest you stay away from them. Thesekinds of people are not real friends. A veritable friend is someone with whom you fighttogether, who raises you up when you confronted with adversities and challenges and who is proudof you at time（还是用when吧，attime貌似是偶尔的意思）you obtainbrilliant achievement or succeed. Nothing can be compared, with the enthusiasmin friends’ hearts, with the timely assistance from friends and with theirdeterminations to gothrough thick and thin with you.

In a nutshell, on the one hand, to build up friendship, one is obliged to behonest to each other. On the other hand, it is naturally that trueborn friends aretrustworthy. Taking all factors into consideration, no excuse can be maintainednot to be completely honest with your friends.
TO sang
1.文章字数绝对够又木有单词拼写等错误，牛叉O(∩_∩)O~
2.依然如此丰富的词汇&各种倒装等句式的应用，赞\(^o^)/~
3.关于you在独立中我记得有人说过最好不要在文章中出现~
4.关于偏题问题，这个题目的话，从分析来说，反面比较好写，因为你只要举出不得不撒谎的例子来就好了。。。。但是sang这样写很不错O(∩_∩)O~
PS 看sang的文，总是勾起很多高中的回忆，only的倒装曾经高中二年半在某位老师的要求下，必用作文结尾句，甚至曾笑言，看到only倒装就知道是我们班的孩儿写的，唉，人老了，果然就容易回忆了%>_<%

-- by 会员 易雨水巷 (2012/5/15 16:46:51)

谢谢水巷每次认真的批改和意见~~太有用了！！！
现在写作文都不动脑子了，嗨。。语法什么的早都忘了55
水巷是哪年FALL叻？

sang824

5月15日11.2.12 ML Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Now everywhere is so busy and crowded that being polite is unnecessary.


Have you ever stayed in the cramped subway on your way to work? Have you ever felt so busy that 24 hours a day is totally insufficient? Have you been hurted unconsciously by someone rush to work without apologizing to you? Such is the current tendency that the everywhere is becoming more and more crowded and busy. However, does it mean we do not need to be polite? From my perspective, I am strongly in favor of the statement that polite is an indispensable part in our lives.

First and foremost, polite, a traditional Chinese virtue, occupies a dominant position in today's society. It is a personality that everyone is supposed to born with and people are expected to behave politely out of instinct. Consider that when finished your troublesome assignment, you are about to go home by bus. During the rush hour, buses are crawling, the compartment is cramped and crowded, you fails to find a seat but have to stand although exhaused. Suddenly, someone hurts you without conscious and then follows his/her sincere apology. Angry might you get at the first time, the polite way he/she behaves drives away your negative mood immediately. Under such circumstances, it is obviously that being polite is important because it avoid an unnecessary quarrel in public.

Moreover, being polite can win popularity among different people. As a supervisor , taking care of employees and talking to them about daily life can add positive impression. An employee, paying attention to colleagues and appreciating them for the timely assistance can contribute to a harmonious working atmosphere. A stranger, a kindly apology for unintended infringe can drive away conflict and warm others' hearts. At that note, it is never too exaggerated to emphasize the importance of being polite.

Admittedly, in today fast-pace society, compared with the general benefits and outcome, few people pay great attention on others behaviors. It is easy to forget some impolite manners, not to mention a rude character from a stranger. However, we should by no means abandon such virtue because of uncertainty of others' feeling. We act politely and hold the belief that each individual would benefit from the harmonious atmosphere in the advanced society.

In a nutshell, according to the reasons above, I definitely come to the statement that being polite is imperative especially in today's busy and crowded society. It is a manner that benefits the whole human beings as well as the general world!

sang824

516 独立

With the development of science and technology, it is necessary to emphasize the importance of education of young people, who are on behalf of the most advanced power and imagination. Young people are guiled to be equipped with perfect skills and knowledge. When it comes to the role of young people in the whole society, from my perspective, I definitely come to the viewpoint that young people do exert profound influence on decision that determines the future of society.

First and foremost, young people are creative and innovation. With little limitation to the strict rule and traditional mind, their imagination flies through the whole universal and it is easy for them to come up with fantanstic ideas. For example, in a drawing competition which is open for both children and adult, when their compositions are evaluated, it is found that the younger people are, the more mysterious creature and abnormal element their work contain.  When asked about motivation, one of kids says his inspiration comes from the cartoon he watches everyday and he even never thought his combination of different character from various of stuffs would not work. In this way, it is obvious that children's innocence and pure mind can unconsciously bring surprise to our lives.

Moreover, another important personality of young people is humbleness, they are likely to receive criticism and make progress without being annoyed. In this way, young people can be better educated and instructed. Without being worried that they would feel unpleasant about weaknesses, a teacher is free to correct their mistakes and fill them with new knowledge. On the contrary, for some experienced adults, they may be addicted to self-satisfaction and neglect their shortcomings. In this case, not only would they not appreciate the timely assistance from others, but also sticks to their old, dangerous way. Consequently, their stubborn habits will cause some negative effects to the whole society.

Admittedly, compared with adults, young people lack experience and time in a specific field. They are inclined to make mistakes and wrong decision before they can handle something in an appropriate way. However, with the elapse of time, experience of adults will finally not correspond with the tendency.  We can never pay less attention to the potence from young children, their careful skill of observation, boldness in front of controversy and ability to learn thing quickly can do significant contribution to the society in a long run.

In a nutshell, it is never too exaggerated to put young people in an important position. Taking their potences and inherent characters into consideration, I am strongly in favor of the statement that young people do play an indispensible part in society, especially when it comes to decision which determines the whole future.

sang824

Both reading and listening passage talk about the concerns about bird population after a increase of human population, agriculture and pesticide. The professor asserts three reasons to contradict the reading passage, which indicates that the number of birds will necessarily decline.

To begin with, the professor considers it is too general to conclude that birds' natural habitats will disappear, as the reading material mentions. On the contrary, she points out that it only does harm to a minority of birds because with the development of city, more suitable places for big birds have been established. In this way, the birds' population is likely to increase.

Furthermore, the statement that the growth of agriculture will also cause further destruction of bird habitats does not satisfy the professor either. She maintains the lands available for crops are decreased, thus no conversion of birds' habitats to agriculture lands are necessary.

Last but not the least, the reading material also indicates that the use of pesticides has enormous negative impact on birds' population. In contradiction, the professor challenges the argument by mentioning that people have been aware of the consequence of pesticides. Under such circumstances, they come up with two changes. First, develop new and less toxic pesticides. Second, grow and develop more pest-resist crops. In this way can they not only reduce the quantities of chemical pesticides, but also protect birds' population in an effective way.

To sum up, the professor refutes the concern about birds' population in the above three aspects.

易雨水巷

先来占个座 可能明天才能看sang的文了 抱歉啊 着急交作业
月15 日11.2.12 ML Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Now everywhere is so busy and crowdedthat being polite is unnecessary.


Have you ever stayed in the crampedsubway on your way to work? Have you ever felt so busy that 24 hours a day istotally insufficient? Have you been hurted unconsciously by someone rush towork without apologizing to you? Such is the current tendency that theeverywhere is becoming more and more crowded and busy. However, does it mean wedo not need to be polite? From my perspective, I am strongly in favor of the statement thatpolite is an indispensable part in our lives.

First and foremost, polite (名词吧politeness), a traditional Chinese virtue, occupies a dominant position in today's (modern/contemporary?)society. It is a personality that everyone is supposed to (+be) bornwith and people are expected to behave politely(名词吧politeness) out of instinct. Consider that whenfinished your troublesome assignment, you are about to go home by bus. Duringthe rush hour, buses are crawling, the compartment is cramped and crowded, youfails to find a seat but have to stand although exhaused （exhausted）. Suddenly, someone hurts you without conscious andthen follows his/her sincere apology. Angry might you get at the first time,the polite way he/she behaves drives away your negative mood immediately. Undersuch circumstances, it is obviously that being polite is important because itavoid an unnecessary quarrel in public.

Moreover, being polite can win popularity among different people. As asupervisor , taking care of employees and talking to them about daily life canadd positive impression. An employee, paying attention to colleagues andappreciating them for the timely assistance can contribute to a harmoniousworking atmosphere. A stranger, a kindly apology （这不能做同位语用吧，要不就用and连结要不就Astranger’s kindly apology）forunintendedinfringe （这好像是个动词） can drive away conflict and warm others' hearts. At that note, it isnever too exaggerated to emphasize the importance of being polite.

Admittedly, in today fast-pace society, compared with the general benefits andoutcome, few people pay great attention on others behaviors. It is easy toforget some impolite manners, not to mention a rude character from a stranger.However, weshould by no means abandon such virtue because of uncertainty of others'feeling.（可以考虑用个by nomeans 的倒装） We act politely and hold the belief that each individual wouldbenefit from the harmonious atmosphere in the advanced society.

In a nutshell, according to the reasons above, I definitely come to thestatement that being polite is imperative especially in today's busy and crowded society. It isa manner that benefits the whole human beings as well as the general world!
To sang:
有人给我改的时候说，最好不要出现he/she 这种形式

易雨水巷

516 独立
高亮为精彩 红色为意见或建议
With the development of science and technology, it isnecessary to emphasize the importance of education of young people, who are on behalf of the mostadvanced power and imagination. Young people are guiled(?)to be equipped with perfect skills and knowledge. When it comes tothe role of young people in the whole society, from my perspective, Idefinitely come to the viewpoint that young people do exert profound influence on decision thatdetermines the future of society.

First and foremost, young people are creative and innovation(innovative). With little limitation to the strict rule and traditionalmind, their imagination flies through the whole universal and it is easy forthem to come up with fantanstic (fantastic) ideas.For example, in a drawing (?这个词在这里啥意思？) competition which isopen for both children and adult, when their compositions are evaluated, it isfound that the younger people are, the more mysterious creature and abnormalelement their work contain (contains). When asked about motivation, one of kids says his inspiration comes fromthe cartoon he watches everyday and he even never thought his combination ofdifferent character （characters复数比较好） from various of(去掉if吧，various是个形容词) stuffs would not work. In this way, it is obvious that children'sinnocence and pure mind can unconsciously bring surprise to our lives.

Moreover, another important personality of young peopleis humbleness, they are likely to receive criticism and make progress withoutbeing annoyed. （两句话无连接词）In this way, young people can be better educated and instructed.Without being worried that they would feel unpleasant about weaknesses, ateacher is free to correct their mistakes and fill them with new knowledge. Onthe contrary, for some experienced adults, they may be addicted toself-satisfaction and neglect their shortcomings. In this case, not only would they notappreciate the timely assistance from others, but also sticks to their old,dangerous way. Consequently, their stubborn habits will cause somenegative effects to the whole society.

Admittedly, compared with adults, young people lack experience and time in aspecific field. They are inclined to make mistakes and wrong decision （decisions）before they can handle something in anappropriate way. However, with the elapse of time, experience of adults will finally not correspondwith the tendency.  We can never pay less attention to the potence （potency）fromyoung children, their careful skill of observation, boldness in front ofcontroversy and ability to learn thing quickly can do significant contributionto the society in a long run.

In a nutshell, it is never too exaggerated to put young people in an importantposition. Taking their potences (potency) andinherent characters into consideration, I am strongly in favor of the statementthat young people do play an indispensible part in society, especially when itcomes to decision which determines the whole future.
To sang:
感觉这两次读下来，顺畅很多啦，很棒的sang,每次都能学到很多词汇
加油哦

lxc1989614

Both reading and listening passage talk about the concerns about bird population after a increase of human population, agriculture and pesticide. The professor asserts three reasons to contradict the reading passage, which indicates that the number of birds will necessarily decline.这句错了，是不会减少

To begin with, the professor considers it is too general to conclude that birds' natural habitats will disappear, as the reading material mentions. On the contrary, she points out that it only does harm to a minority（some） of birds because with the development of city, more suitable places for big birds have been established. In this way, the birds' population is likely to increase.

Furthermore, the statement in the reading  that the growth of agriculture will also cause further destruction of bird habitats does not satisfy the professor either. She maintains the lands available for crops are decreased, thus no conversion of birds' habitats to agriculture lands are necessary.这段有点问题，建议重听

Last but not the least, the reading material also indicates that the use of pesticides has enormous negative impact on birds' population. In contradiction, the professor challenges the argument by mentioning that people have been aware of the consequence of pesticides. Under such circumstances, they come up with two changes. First, develop new and less toxic pesticides. Second, grow and develop more pest-resist crops. In this way can they not only reduce the quantities of chemical pesticides, but also protect birds' population in an effective way.这段没啥问题，都听对了~
·
To sum up, the professor refutes the concern about birds' population in the above three aspects. 最后一段可以不写其实