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瓜瓜卷土重来啦!!!!

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41#
发表于 2012-5-9 12:28:25 | 只看该作者
TOP 9 integrated writing
The reading passage and the lecture explore the issue of fue-cell fuel-cellengines which usehydrogen. However, the professor casts doubts on the idea of the passage thatthe fuel-cell engines have several advantages over the internal-combustionengines and will soon replace them. The professor use (uses)three specific aspects to support his argument.

First, even though the passage show (shows) thatthe Hydrogen is a plentiful sourcessourcecompared with petroleum,the professor demostrates (demonstrates) thatthe hydrogen is not a solution to solve the resource problem. According to thelecture, pure liquid hydgroge (hydrogen) shouldbe stored in cold condition, which is a technic (technical)problem for the manufacturers.

Second, despite of the view in the passage that hydrogen-based fuel cells cansolve pollution, the professor points out that the production of hydreogen (hydrogen) will produce more pollutionbecause the prodution (production) uses coal andoil as fuel. Thus, cars do not produce pollute?) the environment, whilethe production of hydreogen (hydrogen) does.

Last, the professor challenges the statement in the passage that fuel-cellengines are economically competitive. As the lecture shows, the containner (container) of liquid hydgrogen (hydgrogen) is made of expensive mental, andthe material is so rare that it is not useful so far. Therefore, fuel-cellengines won’t help people save money.

To sum up, the professor shows three reason (reasons)to contradict the passage’s statement that fuel-cell engines are not thatpromising as there are so many problems remain unsolved.
To 瓜瓜
拼写手误,甚是神伤。咱俩继续练吧,虽说就这两天了。。。。
GOOD LUCK
42#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-9 17:42:12 | 只看该作者
好滴
43#
发表于 2012-5-9 21:36:23 | 只看该作者
57日独立11.7.8 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to choose a friend with whom you can have fun than to choose a friend that will help you when you are in need. Use specific examples to support your answer.

Have you ever wonder about what is real friendship? Have you ever bothered how to choose a friend? In this utilitarian society, many people tend to choose friend that will help them when they are in need. However, personally, I would like to choose friend who can bring me happiness and share fun with me. Here are my reasons.瓜瓜开头写得太赞了~

First of all, I hold the belief that fun is the top priority in one’s life, and everything people do is to pursuit happiness. So, people make friends not because they want friend’s help, but just because they pursue fun. There was an anecdote of Confucius, the famous ancient philosopher and educator in China. Confucius was in a high social status, but he made friend with Qirong Songwho is this,婷婷没猜出来,who shared the same interest with Confucius in music, but had no social status. Clearly, there was no opportunity that Song can help ConfuciousConfucius, but Confucious(Confucius) choose him to be his friend, because Confucious enjoyed changing(exchanging,这里应该是交换的意思吧?) opinion about music and playing music together with Song. If Confucious chose friends who can offer help to him, then he would definitely miss such a good friend.

In addition, only pure friendship based on fun rather than utilitarian purpose can be called as true friendship,(不用逗号) and last long. The history has witnessed a lot so-called friendship, which based on benefitialbeneficial relations, but it turns out these kind of friendship would not last long(换成forever,和之前的不一样才好. Take the relationship of two classmates in high school for example. Tom asked Susan to be his friend just because he wanted to copy her homework. Susan did not realize the purpose of Tom, she shared her work with Tom for more than two years. However, after graduation, Tom has never contactcontacted Susan initially. Until recently did Susan realize that this kind of relationship is everything but friendship. Obviously, the friendship built on benefial relation will fade with time, while true friend will not.

Adimittedly(admittedly), choosing friend who can help you when you are in need is not a that bad standard, which may be regardregarded as useful standard when people are picking up friends. While helpping(helping) a lame dog over stile is moving, it should be considered as the benefits of friendship rather than a purpose of a relationship.

To sum up, I stand for the point of view that people should choose friend with who you have fun, in other word, follow your heart, rather than choose friend on utilitarian purpose.



Conclusion:瓜瓜注意拼写错误哈,逻辑很好,挑不出其他毛病了


5.7 改瓜瓜的文

ps: 瓜瓜,后面的写完,告诉我一声哦~
44#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-9 21:41:04 | 只看该作者
我5.7 5.8的独立都写完啦 5.9的今天等下写
45#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-9 23:38:41 | 只看该作者
5.9 TOP10
The reading passage and the lecture explore the reason why sea otter population declined along the Alaskan coast. While the passage considers that pollution hypothesis could explains this situation, the professor points out the predator hypothesis is more likely to answer the question.

First,while the passage thinks that the industrial chemical pollutions infected otters and indirectly killed them, the professor demostrates that this assertion is rather weak, because there were no dead otters found on the coast. According to the professor, if otters were dead becaust of pulltion, then there should be dead bodies. The absence of the dead bodies supports the predator hypothesis, because predators ate up otters, and leave no bodies.

Second, the passage indictis that as the decline of sea mammals in the entire ecosystem may attributrs to orcas, who prefer to hunt large prey, pollution is best explanation to the decline. However, the professor shows that it is caused by orcas. because the decline of large prey, orcas tended to fed on small animals, and eventually cause the entire decline of sea mammals.

Last, the professor points out the uneven pattern of otter decline is exactly the evidence of predator hypothesis, which contradicts the view of passage. According to the professor, as orcas were not accessible to the shadow and rocky place, otter population was higher than the coast, which is easier for orca to reach.

In a nutshell, the professor demostrate the predator hypothesis is more rational than the pollution one to explain the decline of otter population on the Alaskan coast.
46#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-10 10:46:19 | 只看该作者
5月9日Independent Writing  终于有进步只超时了5分钟,我摔
11.8.5 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.


Have you ever be troubled with a tough subject and wondered what to do with it? The choice seems to be clear but kind of difficult to decide—to ask your friend who are good at this subject or to turn to a tutor. If this situation happens on my friend, I, personally, would like he come up to me for help. Here are my reasons.

First of all, friendship not only means sharing happiness, but also means sticking through hard times. To help a friend with his subject at the time he need is like to save a lame dog go over stairs. There is no doubt that giving out a hand to friend at emergency will consolide friendship. Take my best friend John for example. There was a preriod when I was in high school, during whih I was not good at chemistry, while John was. Everytime I was stuck on a puzzle, I turn to John, even when the final exam was nearby. John showed nothing but patience, and anwsered every question I put forward. Through hard times, we understand more about friendship, and we has substained our friendship since then.

In addition, helping friend to solve subject problem is not only a one-way pay. That is to say, people who offer help also improve his or her owm knowledge,because knowledge is revised at the same time when people use it. A recent survey conducted by Tsinghua University demostrates that by helping others solving on certain subjects, people enhance their memory by a large extent, which the experiment shows to be 47 percent.

Admittedly, professors seem to be more reliable to give the right answer to one’s problem on a certain object. However, the obstacle is that it seems professors are always quite busy. It is obvious that they do not have time to answer every students question. What is more, since the distinction of students, it is difficult for professor to give a specific suggestion to every student on how to improve their academic scores.

To sum up, as help from friends is easier to reach, and friends can also improve through help, I stand for the idea that it is better for one to ask friends’ help when he or she has problems on subjects.
47#
发表于 2012-5-11 14:05:17 | 只看该作者
婷婷was not available yesterday.
呵呵,今天改完贴这
5.9 独立 改
59Independent Writing 终于有进步只超时了5分钟,我摔
11.8.5 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.


Have you ever be troubled with a tough subject and wondered what to do with it? The choice seems to be clear but kind of difficult to decide—to ask your friend who are good at this subject or to turn to a tutor. If this situation happens on my friend, I, personally, would like he(him)tocome up to me for help. Here are my reasons.

First of all, friendship not only means sharing happiness, but also means sticking through hard times. To help a friend with his subject at the time he needs is like to save a lame dog go over stairs. There is no doubt that giving out a hand to friend at emergency will consolide(consolidate)friendship. Take my best friend John for example. There was a preriod(period) when I was in high school, during whih(删掉) I was not good at chemistry, while John was. Everytime(Every time) I was stuck on a puzzle, I turnturned to John, even when the final exam was nearby. John showed nothing but patience, and anwsered(answered) every question I put forward. Through hard times, we understand more about friendship, and we has substained(sustained)our friendship since then.

In addition, helping friend to solve subject problem is not only a one-way pay. That is to say, people who offer help also improve his or her owmown knowledge,because knowledge is revised at the same time when people use it. A recent survey conducted by TsinghuaUniversity demostrates(demonstrates) that by helping others solving on certain subjects, people enhance their memory by a large extent, which the experiment shows to be 47(瓜瓜,这个数据有点低,再高一点~ percent.(在后面来点总结性的说理比较好,要不然就显得太短了)

Admittedly, professors seem to be more reliable to give the right answer to one’s problem on a certain object. However, the obstacle is that it seems professors are always quite busy. It is obvious that they do not have time to answer every students'(所有格) question. What is more, since the distinction of students, it is difficult for professor to give a specific suggestion to every student on how to improve their academic scores.

To sum up, as help from friends is easier to reach, and friends can also improve through help, I stand for the idea that it is better for one to ask friends’ help when he or she has problems on subjects.

Conclusion:1.瓜瓜一定要注意拼写哦,还有仔细拼一下demonstrate

         2.中间说理的那段,如果数例不够的话,就再分析一下数例,这样更完整

         3.分论点安排得很好,不错!


综合 改
5.9 TOP10
The reading passage and the lecture explore the reason why (the这个地方感觉加个冠词比较好)sea otter population declined along the Alaskan coast. While the passage considers that pollution hypothesis could explains this situation, the professor points out the predator hypothesis is more likely to answer the question.

First,while the passage thinks that the industrial chemical pollutions infected otters and indirectly killed them, the professor demostrates(demonstrates) that this assertion is rather weak, because there were no dead otters found on the coast. According to the professor, if otters were dead becaust(because) of pulltion(pollution)(直接写killed by pollution, then there should be dead bodies. The absence of the dead bodies supports the predator hypothesis, because predators ate up otters, and leave no bodies.

Second, the passage indictis(indicates) that as the decline of sea mammals in the entire ecosystem may attributrs(attributes)to orcas, who prefer to hunt large prey, pollution is best explanation to the decline. However, the professor shows that it is (actually)caused by orcas.(不用标点)because the decline of large prey, orcas tendedtend to fed on small animalssuch as seal lions, seals and otters这里把例子给出来比较好, and eventually cause the entire decline of sea mammals.

Last, the professor points out the uneven pattern of otter decline is exactly the evidence of predator hypothesis, which contradicts the view of passage. According to the professor, as orcas were not accessible to the shadow and rocky place, otter population was higher than the coast(这点听力中没有体现), which is easier for orca to reach.

In a nutshell, the professor demostrate(demonstrates) the predator hypothesis is more rational than the pollution one to explain the decline of otter population on the Alaskan coast.

Conclusion:瓜瓜这篇,拼写错误有几个,一定要注意拼准了哦~其他的都不错啦!




5.9 TOP10
The reading passage and the lecture explore the reason why (the这个地方感觉加个冠词比较好)sea otter population declined along the Alaskan coast. While the passage considers that pollution hypothesis could explains this situation, the professor points out the predator hypothesis is more likely to answer the question.

First,while the passage thinks that the industrial chemical pollutions infected otters and indirectly killed them, the professor demostrates(demonstrates) that this assertion is rather weak, because there were no dead otters found on the coast. According to the professor, if otters were dead becaust(because) of pulltion(pollution)(直接写killed by pollution, then there should be dead bodies. The absence of the dead bodies supports the predator hypothesis, because predators ate up otters, and leave no bodies.

Second, the passage indictis(indicates) that as the decline of sea mammals in the entire ecosystem may attributrs(attributes)to orcas, who prefer to hunt large prey, pollution is best explanation to the decline. However, the professor shows that it is (actually)caused by orcas.(不用标点)because the decline of large prey, orcas tendedtend to fed on small animalssuch as seal lions, seals and otters这里把例子给出来比较好, and eventually cause the entire decline of sea mammals.

Last, the professor points out the uneven pattern of otter decline is exactly the evidence of predator hypothesis, which contradicts the view of passage. According to the professor, as orcas were not accessible to the shadow and rocky place, otter population was higher than the coast(这点听力中没有体现), which is easier for orca to reach.

In a nutshell, the professor demostrate(demonstrates) the predator hypothesis is more rational than the pollution one to explain the decline of otter population on the Alaskan coast.

Conclusion:瓜瓜这篇,拼写错误有几个,一定要注意拼准了哦~其他的都不错啦!
48#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-11 22:42:36 | 只看该作者
5.11 tpo12
The reading passage and the lecture explore the issue of a portrait of Jane Austin. However, the professor points out that the portrait’s subject is not Austen, which contradicts the opinion of the passages. The professor uses three specific points to support his assertion.

First, even though Austen’s family gave permission to use the portrait as an illustration in an edition of her letters, the professor demonstrates that this fact is not convincing. According to the professor, the authority was given after Austen had dead for 70 years, and the relative can not see Austen personally. Thus, it is not sure whether it’s Austen’s portrait.

Second, despite the view of passage that the face in the portrait resembles the one in Cassandra’s sketch, which people know depict Austen, the professor points out its subject probably is Austen’s cousin. The professor suggests that Austen had a large extension of family, and her cousin were in the similar age to her. What is more, some expert also claims that girl in the portrait is one of Austen’s cousins.

Last, the professor challenges the claim of the passage that the portrait is painted by Humphrey when Austen was a teenager. As the professor shows, the carvant of the portrail is not match the time period of Austen. It seems the William did not sell this kind of carvant when Austen was supposed to be a teenage.

In a nutshell, the professor shows that the subjects of the portrait cannot be Austen, which contradicts the idea of the passage.
49#
发表于 2012-5-16 20:55:59 | 只看该作者
5.11迟来的 综合改文
5.11 tpo12
The reading passage and the lecture explore the issue of a portrait of Jane Austin. However, the professor points out that the portrait’s subject is not Austen, which contradicts the opinion of the passages. The professor uses three specific points to support his assertion.

First, even though Austen’s family gave permission to use the portrait as an illustration in an edition of her letters, the professor demonstrates that this fact is not convincing. According to the professor, the authority was given after Austen had dead for almost70 years, and the relative can not see Austen personally. Thus, it is not sure whether it’s Austen’s portrait.

Second, despite the view of passage that the face in the portrait resembles the one in Cassandra’s sketch, which people know depict Austen, the professor points out its subject probably is Austen’s cousin(relative). The professor suggests that Austen had a large extension of family, and her cousins were in the similar age to her. What is more, some expert also claims that girl in the portrait is one of Austen’s cousins(distant niece).

Last, the professor challenges the claim of the passage that the portrait is painted by Humphrey when Austen was a teenager. As the professor shows, the carvantcanvas帆布的意思~ of the portrail(portrait) is not match the time period of Austen. It seems the William did not sell this kind of carvant(canvas) when Austen was supposed to be a teenage.

In a nutshell, the professor shows that the subjects of the portrait cannot be Austen, which contradicts the idea of the passage.

Conclusion:1.瓜瓜第二点细节有一点点出入哦

         2.注意拼写,检查,多检查

         3.语言上已经很好了,呵呵~
50#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-6-22 16:37:12 | 只看该作者
人工挤入第一页 瓜瓜come back!
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