瓜瓜卷土重来啦！！！！

Crystaljoy

5月6日10.10.30 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

瓜瓜加油~~~我来督促你来了~~~

Education seems to be a permanent topic of human beings, as it plays such an important role in one（one’s） life. With rapid development of society, it is no doubt that people are now easier to become educated than in the past. Here are my reasons. (感觉开头稍显平淡了，可以prepare几个精彩句式，另外重要性在讲的具体一点。)

First of all, comparing to （compare to 比作；compare with 比较. 比较对象还要对等，即同一类。）the past, it is a worldwide truth that people have more opportunities now to get education.（Today, undeniably，people have more access to education compared with last generation.）While campuses enlarge the enrolment,(while 要么是对比，要么是让步，在这里都不合适。Campus“校园，校园生活”，感觉指代学校不贴切。With the ever-increasing enrolment number, )more school (school好像多指初级教育那种吧？schools and universities) are being built up, which means more teenagers as well as adults can go to class to get educated(for education. 如果一个N就可以隐含V意思就不要用V词组啦，更简洁有效). Dated back to the old days in China, (暗示后文改用过去时态了！)only boys are allowed togo to school, whereas girls who long for knowledge have no way（access/approach/opportunity） to get educated. What is worse, as the tuition fee is so high, it is impossible for children from poor families to afford it（the high tuition fee之间意思有逻辑联系，可以连接起来）. Luckily, （such）situation has been largely improved now, and going to school is no longer a （out-of-reach 确切）dream for every child. (most children 严谨)

In addition, modern society provides peoplemultiplied of( 确定么？) resources, which are helpful for their study. Many public libraries are set up in most cities, and lots of public lectures and speeches are delivered all over the world. Besides, internet enriches our access to search（删除。access to 一般接N）information, allowing us to get what we want without the limit of distance（time and space）. ( Once 后面是举例吧？不是一般描述了) When I was young and the internet was not so widely used, I wanted to read a novel book, but neither the local book store nor the library had a copy. At the end, I had to give up the intention. However, （today）with Internet, I can buy books online, or download whatever I like to read. It is obvious that we get lots of convenience from Internet. (internet 只是resource的一种具体列举，却占了太多篇幅。最后的总结句建议还是总结一下resource---education)

Admittedly, there are too much information around us nowadays（there be 少用，至少ＧＭＡＴ认为不对。The explosive information flood our ears and eyes every day）, and it is difficult for us to identify which is true. However, through the process of require (of 后面用Ving) true information, people gain the ability of discrimination（我一直以为是“歧视”= = 刚查了原来还有distinguish的意思）, which is also an objective of education.  （让步一般是承让对方观点，这里好像又引出一个新的问题？）

To sum up, because of larger enrollment and more resource accesses, we can safely arrive （at the conclusion）that People are now easier to become educated than in the past.



整体感觉：

结构清晰，意思的推进还是很有逻辑的。


期待更好的地方：

1. 表达再确切严谨点。可以多加一些adj啊，most之类的限定或者修饰,也会生动一点呢。

2. 句式有点散，再背一些好的长的句式。

3. 感觉开头稍显平淡，再吸引人点。

4. 论证方面：观点句要清晰，例子要契合，总结要扣题。

瓜瓜不瓜

婷婷提出的让步段思路太好了！！！我就是搞不太懂要怎么写让步段

瓜瓜不瓜

鸟儿 热泪盈眶 给出的意见太好了！！全部吸取了！！！

瓜瓜不瓜

5.7 integrated writing TOP8
The reading passage and the lecture explore the same issue of the Chevalier’s memoir. However, the professor thinks that the memoir is quite reliable, which contradicts the idea of the passage. And the professor use three specific points to suppor his argument.

First, even though the passage suggusts that Chevalier cannot be wealthy while living in Switzerland, the professor points it is not true. The professor argues in the lecture that as Chevalier spent a lot of money on parties and gambling, he uesed to convert assets o cash. In this persective, it is not wise to assert Chevalier was poor at that time.

In addition, desipte the view of the passage that it is impossible for Chevalier to remember exact conversation with Voltaire, the professor shows that Chevalier wrote notes about the talking with Voltaire every night after their conversation, and he referred to these note in his writing. What is more, it is comfirmed in the later that these notes really exist.

Last, the professor claims that Chevalier’s experience of prison break was true, whereas the passage asserts that it was made up. The professor demostrates the fact that prisoners in Venetian prsion whose friends were more powerful failed to bride the jailer. Besides, the government document shows that the ceiling of Chevailer’s room was once prepared. Obviously, Chevailier did escape from the jail.

To sum up, the professor cites some truth to challenge the statement of the passage, and demonstrates the memoir is rather reliable.

瓜瓜不瓜

5月8日 independent writing
11.9.16 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer.

Have you ever wondered what carrer to take? Have your parents suggusted you to choose the same career as them? Have you ever be honest to ask youself what you really desire? As it is such an essential decision in one’s life, people have to deal with choice of carrer seriously and carefully. Personally, I strong oppose the idea that children should follow their parents’ carrer choice.

First of all, I always hold the belife that interst is the best guide, no matter in one’s study or career, and children should choose the career they really love to. Only with passion, can people make a difference in his or her life. Take Steve Jobs for example, who dropped out of University to persuit the dream of his Apple Empire. As Jobs was crazy about music and electronic device, he successfully combined them together. Thus came the fantastic equipment—ipod. Without the strong intersts which drived Jobs forward, there would be no ipod at all.

In addition, if all children choose the same career as their parents, then there will be no innovation in the world. That would be a scary future. Just imagine days without Facebook. If Mark Zuckberg had followed his parents’ step to be a dentist or a psychiater, then there would be one more doctor in the world, and no Fackbook, where people keep in touch with friends and make aquaintance of strangers. Obviously, leting children to choose their own career brings world surprises, and those innovations enrich our daily life.

Admittedly, there are advantages for children to choose the career as their parents. They can get more professional guide and may gain extra care in the career, which contribute to success to one’ career path. However, these advantages do not represent happiness. I will believe that only when doing thing people love, can they gain truly happiness and satisfaction.

In a nutshell, children should choose their career based on their own interests, rather than follow their parents, not only because interests guarantee a continuous flow of passion, but also because it will bring surprising innovations to the world.

nika1228

5.5 独立NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work rather than encouraging them to do the work on their own.
蓝色建议红色错误高亮精彩
It is a universal truth that as the first teacher of a child, parents play an essential role in child’s growth. Thus, what kind of education parents adopted directly put(建议exert) a great influence on what kind of person a child is going to be. Nowadays, there is a hot debate on whether parents should help children to do their work or encourage them do(to) do work by themselves. Personally, I stand for the idea that parents should allow and encourage children do things on their own.

To begin with, there is no doubt that allowing children to deal with their own stuff can make children independent, which is a good characteristic for their growth. Take a well-known true story about Einstein as example to help me to clarify this point. It happened when Einstein was in elementary school. One day the teacher asked each student to make a wooden stool. While most students turned to their parents for help, Einstein finished this homework by his own. What is more, he made three stools, without help of parents. Though his stool（stools ）were not as good-looking as others’, he grew from the work and stepped toward independence, which became the key factor to his success(in the future).

In addition, only by doing thing by their own（前面有个by，这里independently吧）can children gain the happiness from process. And only though（through） the hardness can children learn a lesson from growth. A survey conducted by Xinghua（是清华吗？Tsinghua）University shows that children who are willing to deal with things by themselves in teenagers are more inclined to succeed in their future career. The investigators gives(give) two reasons to explain the outcome: for one thing, children learn from the process; for another, children tend to treasure the success once them gain it by their own.（这段句子都没有什么问题，不过逻辑上可以再思考一下，TS说自己做事能收获幸福能学到东西，下面论据是更容易成功因为能学到东西和更加珍惜自己的成果。这样说下来是不是觉得论据和论点结合的不是很好呢？）

Admittedly, as it is human nature, parents are willing to set everything for children. However, it may be the best way for children’s growth.(这里好像没有对前文转折啊，放在这里是不是有点奇怪) What if something happens that parents cannot help to set down? Parents age, and finally one day them can help children anymore.( with the growth of parents’ age, they become weak than before, and they cannot help their children anymore) Allowing children learn to deal with things earlier, and giving them encouragement are the best action parents should take.

To sum up, children’s self-management makes children more independent, gives them opportunities to experience the happiness and misery（前文没提到过痛苦，而且感觉这里放痛苦对论点不是特别有利，建议删掉） , and makes them treasure success. Thus, I hold the belief that parents should encourage children to do work by their own.

Con:

首先诚挚的道歉，我改晚了，不找什么借口了，总之很不好。。。道歉道歉。。。

1．论证方式多样，有名人、有调查研究，有推理，确实给人一种全面的感觉

2．注意逻辑结构，加强每段论点与论据的结合

3．一些小语法错误尽量避免（这点我也同样啦）




Con:

首先诚挚的道歉，我改晚了，不找什么借口了，总之很不好。。。道歉道歉。。。

1．论证方式多样，有名人、有调查研究，有推理，确实给人一种全面的感觉

2．注意逻辑结构，加强每段论点与论据的结合

3．一些小语法错误尽量避免（这点我也同样啦）

nika1228

啊。。con复制了两遍。。太粗心了我

瓜瓜不瓜

没关系的哈

瓜瓜不瓜

TOP 9 integrated writing
The reading passage and the lecture explore the issue of fue-cell engines which use hydrogen. However, the professor casts doubts on the idea of the passage that the fuel-cell engines have several advantages over the internal-combustion engines and will soon replace them. The professor use three specific aspects to support his argument.

First, even though the passage show that the Hydrogen is a plentiful sources compared with petroleum, the professor demostrates that the hydrogen is not a solution to solve the resource problem. According to the lecture, pure liquid hydgroge should be stored in cold condition, which is a technic problem for the manufacturers.

Second, despite of the view in the passage that hydrogen-based fuel cells can solve pollution, the professor points out that the production of hydreogen will produce more pollution because the prodution uses coal and oil as fuel. Thus, cars do not produce the environment, while the production of hydreogen does.

Last, the professor challenges the statement in the passage that fuel-cell engines are economically competitive. As the lecture shows, the containner of liquid hydgrogen is made of expensive mental, and the material is so rare that it is not useful so far. Therefore, fuel-cell engines won’t help people save money.

To sum up, the professor shows three reason to contradict the passage’s statement that fuel-cell engines are not that promising as there are so many problems remain unsolved.

瓜瓜不瓜

5月7日独立11.7.8 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to choose a friend with whom you can have fun than to choose a friend that will help you when you are in need. Use specific examples to support your answer.

Have you ever wonder about what is real friendship? Have you ever bothered how to choose a friend? In this utilitarian society, many people tend to choose friend that will help them when they are in need. However, personally, I would like to choose friend who can bring me happiness and share fun with me. Here are my reasons.

First of all, I hold the belief that fun is the top priority in one’s life, and everything people do is to pursuit happiness. So, people make friends not because they want friend’s help, but just because they pursue fun. There was an anecdote of Confucius, the famous ancient philosopher and educator in China. Confucius was in a high social status, but he made friend with Qirong Song,who shared the same interest with Confucius in music, but had no social status. Clearly, there was no opportunity that Song can help Confucious, but Confucious choose him to be his friend, because Confucious enjoyed changing opinion about music and playing music together with Song. If Confucious chose friends who can offer help to him, then he would definitely miss such a good friend.

In addition, only pure friendship based on fun rather than utilitarian purpose can be called as true friendship, and last long. The history has witnessed a lot so-called friendship, which based on benefitial relations, but it turns out these kind of friendship would not last long. Take the relationship of two classmates in high school for example. Tom asked Susan to be his friend just because he wanted to copy her homework. Susan did not realize the purpose of Tom, she shared her work with Tom for more than two years. However, after graduation, Tom has never contact Susan initially. Until recently did Susan realize that this kind of relationship is everything but friendship. Obviously, the friendship built on benefial relation will fade with time, while true friend will not.

Adimittedly, choosing friend who can help you when you are in need is not a that bad standard, which may be regard as useful standard when people are picking up friends. While helpping a lame dog over stile is moving, it should be considered as the benefits of friendship rather than a purpose of a relationship.

To sum up, I stand for the point of view that people should choose friend with who you have fun, in other word, follow your heart, rather than choose friend on utilitarian purpose.