刺猬加入『写作小分队』 真心想改掉拖延症 要坚持

Herisson0509

修改4.5

As the popular saying goes, Birds of a feather flock together. Many people believe（believe, think, 这种有个人观点的词最好少用） that one person must be like what his friends be are(不清楚是不是固定用法，如果不是，这里用be感觉不恰当，应该用be的某种形式吧；这句话我可以理解，但是我不知道这么写对不对). Nevertheless, I do not agree with the assertion that one can realize the person simply through his friends. My positions are based on a deep and fundamental analysis as dicussed below.

Initially, there is no doubt that everyone possesses own unique character.（，） And it is universally acknowledged that personality is too complex to understand. Maybe you are extremely similar to your intimates, whereas it（it指代有点不清晰） cannot be completely to know you（前半句说similar，后半句说know，感觉这两个词意思有点不对称）我觉得还可以. In fact, many differences do hide beneath the surface. For instance, I often told my roommates the story of my best associates(associates). Once I brought her to my dormitory. To their surprises surprise（surprise是不可数名词）, she is an fair lady rather than a lively girl like me. Thus, it is not sagasicous sagacious (sagacious)to judge one from the people around him.这句我问过鸟了她说这样表达可以的(我记得句型应该是judge from A and B; tell/ differentiate/ distinguish A from B).

Furthermore, no one can deny that it is possible for us to associate with a variety of companions. So various（miscellaneous也可以） friends are that they enable our life colorful（various（miscellaneous）friends may enable our life colorful.；so在这里做什么词性，我没看出来，感觉这里有点问题）这里只是把so提前了而已. By getting along with them, we can increase more knowledge of all aspects. Although some of them are entirely out of your flavor favor（favor）, it doesn’t matter. Take me as an ease case（case）, I own all sorts of intimates due to my outgoing nature. Whereas we don’t have much in common. Though we often has a quarrel with each other on an issue, I still love being with them. So, on no account can we learn others from the types of friends they have.

Admittedly, most people hold the view that those who have a common goal can be together. If do not share the same interest and faith, persons could not talk or stay for only one minute. However, according to a recent survey, 80 percent s （people）said they can make friends with different kinds of people in spite of the common distinction. As a matter of fact, intimates’ features can not show（也可以用demonstrate） what you be like. Usually,we only can recognize a little about one, even the opposite side.

From what has been discussed above, we can draw the conclusion that it is so onesided to learn a lot about a person from the style his familiar owns.If you want to know one, go to make friends（friends） with him and （shortly afterwards 没过多久，感觉这里加个时间状语比较好） you will understand him clearly by yourself 我想强调要亲身去做而不是通过什么什么。。。（感觉有点多余）.

Herisson0509

4月6日101210 NA Which do you prefer, finishing one project before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time?

How can you show yourself in the competitive company? Since different people have distinct back grounds and values, it is no wonder that the seemingly simple and straight question could arouse fierce debate. Some people hold the idea of doing things one by one while others prefer to achieve many tasks at the same time. From my point of view, it is more advisable to be a single-project worker. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

The main reason for my propensity is that splitting attention between two tasks is something people simply could not do well. According to a recent survey, the results showed that when doing single-task learning, the brain used by nearly 80 percent of people can make rapid and accurate respone on what they are doing. Those who keep one eye on more projects only reach a low successful rate. Take me as an example, when I reviewed for the Toefl Test, I tried to practice listening while reciting words, as a conquence, neither is finished well. Thus, I understandthat one person has to be single-minded in order tohave results, absolutelynotone mind.

Another reason can be seen by every one it is not a good habit of doing two things at one time. Sometimes being half-hearted would make serious error. For instance, in my childhood, I used to talk when my family had dinner together. Once I carelessly spurt a little rice out, my father who is always annabelle inflicted severe punishment on me. He told me that it is so impolite to do such thing. Since then, I make a rule to be a single-project person, which mainly benefits my life.

To be sure, distractions and multitasking are hardly new to the human condition. There is no doubt that handle two or more affairs simultaneously can save much time, whereas it may commit to big mistake. For example, many workers in the factory only pursue the task completion in spite of the production’s quality, which often causes consumer’s health problem, even the dispute. So we cannot emphasize the importance of running things one after another too much.

From what has been discussed above,we may reach the conclusion that it is sagacious to get one project done before starting another. Only in this way can we be more concentrated, successful and excellent.

chasedreamabc

How can you show yourself in the competitive company? Since different people have distinct back grounds and values, it is no wonder that the seemingly simple and straight question could arouse fierce debate. Some people hold the idea of doing things one by one while others prefer to achieve many tasks at the same time. From my point of view, it is more advisable to be a single-project worker. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

The main reason for my propensity is that splitting attention between two tasks is something people simply could not do well. According to a recent survey, the results showed that when doing single-task learning, the brain used by nearly 80 percent of people can make rapid and accurate respone on what they are doing. Those who keep one eye on more projects only reach a low successful rate. Take me as an example, when I reviewed for the Toefl Test（还是不要举T的例子吧）, I tried to practice listening while reciting words, as a conquence, neither is finished well. Thus, I understand that one person has to be single-minded in order tohave results, absolutely not one mind.

Another reason can be seen by every one it is not a good habit of doing two things at one time. Sometimes being half-hearted would make serious error. For instance, in my childhood, I used to talk when my family had dinner together. Once I carelessly spurt a little rice out, my father who is always Annabelle inflicted severe punishment on me. He told me that it is so impolite to do such thing. Since then, I make a rule to be a single-project person, which mainly benefits my life.

To be sure, distractions and multitasking are hardly new to the human condition. There is no doubt that handle two or more affairs simultaneously can save much time, whereas it may commit to big mistake. For example, many workers in the factory only pursue the task completion in spite of the production’s quality, which often causes consumer’s health problem, even the dispute. So we cannot emphasize the importance of running things one after another too much.

From what has been discussed above, we may reach the conclusion that it is sagacious to get one project done before starting another. Only in this way can we be more concentrated, successful and excellent.

没什么错误了，就是一个小点，挑战toefl中说道，作文尽量客观，较少用到I，we，they等代词，可以使用someone之类的

Herisson0509

How can you show yourself in the competitive company? Since different people have distinct back grounds and values, it is no wonder that the seemingly simple and straight question could arouse fierce debate. Some people hold the idea of doing things one by one while others prefer to achieve many tasks at the same time. From my point of view, it is more advisable to be a single-project worker. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

The main reason for my propensity is that splitting attention between two tasks is something people simply could not do well. According to a recent survey, the results showed that when doing single-task learning, the brain used by nearly 80 percent of people can make rapid and accurate respone on what they are doing. Those who keep one eye on more projects only reach a low successful rate. Take me as an example, when I reviewed for the Toefl Test（还是不要举T的例子吧）, I tried to practice listening while reciting words, as a conquence, neither is finished well. Thus, I understand that one person has to be single-minded in order tohave results, absolutely not one mind.

Another reason can be seen by every one it is not a good habit of doing two things at one time. Sometimes being half-hearted would make serious error. For instance, in my childhood, I used to talk when my family had dinner together. Once I carelessly spurt a little rice out, my father who is always Annabelle inflicted severe punishment on me. He told me that it is so impolite to do such thing. Since then, I make a rule to be a single-project person, which mainly benefits my life.

To be sure, distractions and multitasking are hardly new to the human condition. There is no doubt that handle two or more affairs simultaneously can save much time, whereas it may commit to big mistake. For example, many workers in the factory only pursue the task completion in spite of the production’s quality, which often causes consumer’s health problem, even the dispute. So we cannot emphasize the importance of running things one after another too much.

From what has been discussed above, we may reach the conclusion that it is sagacious to get one project done before starting another. Only in this way can we be more concentrated, successful and excellent.

没什么错误了，就是一个小点，挑战toefl中说道，作文尽量客观，较少用到I，we，they等代词，可以使用someone之类的

-- by 会员 chasedreamabc (2012/4/7 21:12:28)

谢谢ABC的建议 以后尽量注意了 辛苦你啦

Herisson0509

第一次写综合 水到不行 因为好多没有听全 只能按article推测着写   随后自己找到范文改改
The lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage,in the United States, a policy was required that a four-day workweek for 80 percent of normal pay would benefit company and employee. However, the professor stands that it would not work.

First of all, the reading passage points out that shortened work would increase company profits. In contrast, the professor claims that hiring more employees would spend more money on more facilities, which probably cut into the profits. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, the passage says that the option can reduce unemployment rate. It is different from what is stand in the professor’s speaking that many job would be available due to the option, so the company would ask the employees do what those five-day workweek staffs used to do.

Finally, the passage raises the issue that four-day workweek is better for individual employees. The professor disagrees with this point. He claims that short time work would decrease the job ability of workers, whereas five-day workweek ensures the encourage and was benefical for career, content that explicitly contradicts that passage.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

Herisson0509

呜呜 看了别人的满分范文 才知道有那么多key points 没有听到 崩溃 精听去吧
The lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage,in the United States, a policy was required that a four-day workweek for 80 percent of normal pay would benefit company and employee. However, the professor stands that it would not work( will have negative effects for companies as well as society.)


First of all, the reading passage points out that shortened work would increase company（enterprise） profits （because those employees make fewer mistakes and work more efficiently）. In contrast, the professor claims that hiring more employees would spend more money on more facilities, which probably cut into the profits.（in order to meet normal levels of productivity，hiring more employees would lead the rising expenses of the company）So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, the passage says that the option can reduce unemployment rate. It is different from what is stand in the professor’s speaking that many job would be available due to the option,(for the sake of saving money, employers might raise their expectations of 4-day employees),so the company would ask the employees do what those five-day workweek staffs used to do，and no additional jobs will be created.

Finally, the passage raises the issue that four-day workweek is better for individual employees (to strengthen family ties and allow them develop private interests). The professor disagrees with this point. He claims that short time work would decrease the job ability of workers, whereas five-day workweek ensures the encourage and was benefical for career, (not only decreased quality of life, but also fewer chances to be promoted to supervisory positions,) content that explicitly contradicts that passage.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

Herisson0509

4月8日101211 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job, and you work only three days a week with long hours rather than work five days a week with shorter hours.

Nowadays, many people tend to work from dawn to late night to reach a high level in the competitive society. While, as far as I am concerned, I agree the assertion that it is not more enjoyable to work a lot in shortened time rather than use the regular way to running. My positions are based on a deep and fundamental analysis as discussed below.

To begin with, there is no doubt that long-time task cannot bring any benefit to people. According to a recent survey, 80 percent of people interviewed suggest they are inclined to 8 work hours every day. A scientist in Peking University said 8 work hours is enough for stuffs (staffs) due to the limited energy. It is more possible to make people bored and tired after a long time work. Meanwhile, unnecessary mistakes will rise up frequently in a rapid speed .However, appropriate rest is more beneficial and efficient to finish your task. Take me as an example, I used to study day and night for the coming exam, whereasmy grades were worser than one of my roomates who usually work hard. So, we can come to a conclusion that people who work in short time not only feel comfortable, but also attain high rewards.

Moreover, it is so important that assign your work time in a scientific way. Do not stress yourself too much, you will enable everyday full of joy and success. After working, go to shopping with your friends or have dinner with your parent in spare time. Only in this way can you keep your life colorful. For instance, I often add exercise and entermaint(entertainment) into my daily schedule, which helps me to relax myself from long-time study. Thus, we cannot emphasisze(emphasize) the significance of distributing work time reasonably too much.

Last not the least, perhaps some people hold the view that a three-day-work endows them the freedom to arrange the rest of the week, such as travel, go shopping and whatever you would like to do. Neverthless, in the long run, the bad habit is extremely adverse for your health, even your job. So exhausted you are that severe problems accumulated for a long time would attack you.

From all above discussed, obviously, I strongly commit to the notion that it is more sagacious and enjoyable to handle proper work with more flexibility rather than with intensive arrangement.

Herisson0509

听的稀里糊涂的  呜呜~~~~ 第一次写 水的够水  修改的人儿 你辛苦了 狠狠拍吧

The lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage, there are competitive theories about how the Chago Canyonhouses were used. However, the professor stands that the buildings were not so funtional.

First of all, the reading passage points out that Chago structures were purely residential with thousands of people. In contrast, the professor claims that few fireplaces were not enough for all families. It is not suitable for a lot of people to live in. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, the passage says that Chago house were used to store food supplies. It is different from what is stand in the professor’s speaking that if the building was the storage, why isn’t the maize still on the floorand why was there no containers?

Finally, the passage raises the issue that people regard the big house as the ceremonial centers. The professor hold a totally different view. He claims that except for the broken pots, the building for ceremonial activity also need other matericals, such as sands, stones, which suggests that the pots were not the good evidence of the houses were used for ceremonies, content that explicitly contradicts that passage.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

gre呀gre

4.8 独立写作Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? It is more enjoyable to have a job, and you work only three days aweek with long hours rather than work five days a week with shorter hours.


Nowadays, many people tend to work fromdawn to late night to reach a high level in the competitive society. While（我记得while如果表示对比的话好像是不能放在句首的？）, as far as I amconcerned, I agree the assertion that it is not more enjoyable to work a lot inshortened time rather than use the regular way to running. My positions arebased on a deep and fundamental analysis as discussed below.

To begin with, there is no doubt thatlong-time task cannot bring any benefit to people. According to a recent survey（最好加上from XXX，XXX随便编一个机构或者大学就更有说服力）, 80 percent ofpeople interviewed suggest they are inclined to 8 work（working，或者改成they areinclined to work 8 hours） hours every day. A scientist in(from)Peking University said 8 work hours is enough for stuffs (staffs) due to the limited energy. It is morepossible(likely会好一点) to make people bored and tired after a long time（long-time） work.Meanwhile, unnecessary mistakes will rise up frequently in a rapid speed.However（这里说的是对比，所以用on the contrary会感觉好一些）, appropriate rest is more beneficialand （more）efficient to finish your（your会显得不正式，换成the或者a，或者直接变成a required） task. （take前面加上to，如果不加to这个句子就需要和后面的句子间加上一个连词）Take me as an example, I used to study day and night for the comingexam, whereas my grades were（grade was，如果想说多次，在前面加上every time） worser（worse本身就是比较级，不用再变了） than one of my roomates who usually work hard. So, we can come to aconclusion that people who work in short time not only feel comfortable, butalso attain high rewards.（写舍友这我看的有点不明白- - 这里也说了舍友学习很刻苦，但是没有说她会休息什么的，所以再加上一句话补充一下或者直接给舍友加个定语就好~）

Moreover, it is so important that assignyour work time in a scientific way. Do not stress yourself too much, you willenable everyday full of joy and success. After working, go to shopping with yourfriends or have dinner with your parent in spare time. Only in this way can youkeep your life colorful. For instance, I often add exercise and entermaint(entertainment) into my dailyschedule, which helps me to relax myself from long-time study. Thus, we cannotemphasisze(emphasize) the significance ofdistributing work time reasonably too much.（这一段和前后感觉都不一样啊，如果说you……就全文都是，会显得统一，不能只有这段这样，前后对比会显得这一段不正式，or不专业？总之就是不统一啦；而且这一段的逻辑关系我不是很明白啊，在这一段刚开始的时候说要合理安排时间，但是后面只说了合理安排时间的休息部分，没有说明学习or工作的部分，而且也没有说明这样做有什么好处，这一段和上一段都是强调休息的重要性，感觉有点重复，求讨论）

Last not the least, perhaps（perhaps多用于口语中，所以换个词呗？） some people hold theview that a three-day-work endows them（endow不能加双宾的，在第二个宾语前要加with） the freedom（这里用freedom显得太大了，换成free time就好） to arrange the rest of the week, such as travel, go（going，因为such as 并列的是名词） shopping and（我感觉这应该变成or吧？求讨论） whatever you would like to do. Neverthless, in the long run, the bad habit is extremely adverse for yourhealth, even（and就行了吧，或者把job和health换个位置？老外好像对健康更看重一些） your job. So exhausted you are that severe problems accumulated fora long time would attack you.

From all above discussed（From all discussedabove,我觉得是这样，求讨论）, obviously, I strongly commit to the notion（commit 的用法错了，commit myselfon the notion that……） that it is more sagacious and enjoyable to handle proper work withmore flexibility（诶？为啥我感觉flexibility指的是3天的那个呢？？？） rather than with intensive arrangement.


P.S 刚考完GMAT没多久，所以看作文用的是GMAT语法的方法，所以可能导致有些改正不太正确，或者是GMAT里面要求的但是别的作文就不要求，所以，所以，所以，求讨论

gre呀gre

哦对，我写完独立作文之后没有在大本营上编辑占位楼，所以还麻烦你看一下我的独立作文哈！~thx~~