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<strong><font face="Tahoma">【速度2-10】</font></strong><font face="Tahoma"><br /><span style="background-color:#00cdec;">计时1</span><br /><span style="color:#0162F4;"><strong><font size="5">Coming Out in China: The True Cost of Being Gay in Beijing</font></strong></span></font><font face="Tahoma"><span style="color:#0162F4;"><strong><font size="5"></font></strong></span></font><font face="Tahoma">After he left Tianjin last year, Zhang Xiaobai realized that homosexuals are not "rare birds."<br />When he was still in primary school, Zhang (not his real name) found that he was attracted to boys. Particularly after each physical-education class, when he looked at the sweat-soaked back of a boy he liked, he felt dazed. The feeling got stronger when he entered high school and fell secretly amorous of a tall and strong classmate. He was always eager to approach him and became fascinated with the occasional moment of physical contact.<br />That was in the mid-1990s, when the term homosexuality was far from ordinary in Chinese people's life. Zhang couldn't find anyone similar to him, and he thought he was strange. He couldn't tell his parents, sure that they wouldn't be able to understand. "I was trying to hide it from everybody. Nobody told me this is normal," Zhang recalls. "I felt like I was sick." <br />After graduating from university, family and friends were enthusiastic to fix him up with a girl. He didn't know how to refuse and finally yielded to the pressure, marrying a girl his parents liked. He was hounded by feelings of guilt and inadequacy. "But if I can't possibly love her, I can at least try my best to be a good husband," he says he told himself. So as not to disappoint his parents, Zhang and his wife had a son right after being married.<br />Each Valentine's Day and on their wedding anniversary, Zhang would buy his wife flowers and gifts, trying to compensate materially for his missing heart. <br /><span style="color:#79C101;"><strong>(字数 264)</strong></span></font><br /><font face="Tahoma"><br /><span style="background-color:#00cdec;">计时2</span><br />Life went by. Nothing changed for more than 10 years. And then he started logging into the online world where gay Chinese interact. In some chat forums, people wanted to meet him, but he never accepted the invitation. <br />In 2009 Zhang took a work trip to Beijing. One night, after leaving a bar, he saw another bar at the other side of the road. He has seen the name so many times in a forum, a "shrine" for homosexuals, like Dongdan Park, said to be the biggest gathering place in the world for gays. <br />He knew there were similar places back in Tianjin but thought it was too risky that he might bump into acquaintances in those spots.<br />The next day, he went to the bar without letting his colleague know. The atmosphere was relaxed. Like at other bars, there were people trying to strike up conversation and flirting. For the first time in his 30 years of life, he was not denying his identity. He talked to all kinds of people from different professions. There were company employees, lawyers and a lot of media people.<br />In comparison with the digital world, the live encounter with other gays was a shock to him. When he finished his mission and went back to Tianjin, he was determined to leave his job. He told his family he wanted to look for advancement in Beijing. Nobody understood why. He just told them, "I'm already 30-something. It will be too late if I don't think for myself."<br /><br />First Love<br />His wife stayed in Tianjin. They had gradually grown apart. She no longer demanded that he always come home. He made new acquaintances, and then found his lover, a designer in his 30s.<br /><span style="color:#79C101;"><strong>(字数 288)</strong></span></font><strong><br /></strong><font face="Tahoma"><br /><span style="background-color:#00cdec;">计时3</span><br />This was the first love of his life. Like other couples, they went to films and chose which restaurants to go to after work. Though they kept separate places, Zhang was stable in his relations. He felt that he had found a new direction for his life. For the first time, he didn't feel so bad being gay. His friends and colleagues accepted him. He was finally completely relaxed.<br />It went on in this way for about a year, until 2010. He felt he was no longer able to leave his boyfriend and went home to Tianjin less frequently. He decided it was time to tell his family. <br />"I knew I had to be courageous," he says. "It was too difficult for me to continue with two emotions at the same time. I was prepared to break up with my family."<br />After New Year's Day this year, Zhang invited his wife, his parents and his parents-in-law to dinner. He announced the truth near the end of the meal. The fathers didn't quite believe him, and everybody at the table was startled. Then his mother, who has a hypertension problem, fainted. His wife smacked his face and left. He later cried and knelt in front of his father beside the hospital bed of his mother, asking for forgiveness.<br />"It was really like a second-rate TV drama," he says. "The whole family was crying. I had never imagined that it would ever happen to me."<br /><strong><span style="color:#79C101;">(字数 243)</span></strong></font><br /><font face="Tahoma"><br /><span style="background-color:#00cdec;">计时4</span><br />Zhang's wife divorced him without hesitation and won full custody of their son. Relatives scolded him, saying he was irresponsible. He tries to compensate everybody with money.He gave his house to his ex-wife and pays to support his parents, the cost of coming out. Zhang's parents are still in a cold war with him: his mother won't speak to him. He worries that his son will suffer from being laughed at when his friends find out that his father is gay.<br />Nevertheless, Zhang does not think his life is a tragedy and is relieved that at least now he is living according to his true identity. Every time he hears that some "comrade" plans to get married, he always tells them of his own experience: "Don't try to solve the problem by getting married. It will only hurt more people."<br /><br />From TIME: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2082914,00.html<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#0162F4;"><font size="5">For some teens, a busy life takes fun out of high school</font></span></strong><br />For years the University of California, Los Angeles, has done a national survey of first-year college students. Some of the questions in the Freshman Survey relate to emotional health and stress. Last year, 29 percent said they often felt "overwhelmed" by all they had to do in their last year of high school. That was two percentage points higher than the year before.<br />There was a big difference between men and women. Almost 40 percent of women reported feeling that level of stress, compared to just 18 percent of men.<br />Deborah Stipek is dean of the School of Education at Stanford University in California. She says a lot of students are under too much pressure from parents and schools.<br /><strong><span style="color:#79C101;">(字数 259)</span></strong></font><br /><font face="Tahoma"><br /><span style="background-color:#00cdec;">计时5</span><br />DEBORAH STIPEK: "They are not enjoying what can be the incredible satisfaction of learning and developing understandings and skills. Leaning can be an adventure. But instead of an adventure, it's really about the test, it's about the college application."<br /> rofessor Stipek recently wrote about this issue in the journal Science. She used the example of her own daughter in high school. Her daughter has taken advancement placement, or AP, courses in French to earn credit toward college. She told her mother she would be happy to never speak French again.<br />DEBORAH STIPEK: "I think that revealed the real basic problem, which is the AP courses that she was taking in French were not about learning French, not about being able to communicate with a different culture, or to travel, or to have a skill that could be useful in life. It was about getting a score on an AP test that would help her get into the college of her choice."<br /> rofessor Stipek says high schools should listen to their students.<br />DEBORAH STIPEK: "One of the things that schools are doing that we're working with is doing yearly surveys of students to find out what their sources of stress and anxiety [are], and get their ideas on what the school can do, what kinds of policies can be supportive of them. And this has been actually amazing, because we've gone into schools where they say 'This isn't a problem.' And then they do a survey of the students, and they are just blown away by what they get back from the students when the students are actually asked."<br />In 2009, a documentary film looked at the pressure on many students to succeed in school and in lives busy with activities and homework. The film is called "Race to Nowhere."<br /><strong><span style="color:#79C101;">(字数 299)</span></strong><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><span style="background-color:#00cdec;">自由阅读</span><br />STUDENTS: "If you were dedicating your whole life to your grades, you have to be smart. And you have to be involved in the arts. I have soccer practice every day. Plus the homework on top of that. Produce, produce, produce. It's impossible. I couldn't cope."<br />Deborak Stipek says the film shows that many students today are not experiencing the joys of learning.<br />DEBORAK STIPEK: "I was interviewed in it, as many others were, and I think the most compelling interviews were of the students. These are students who felt under enormous pressure to perform, and I want to underscore the word 'perform,' as opposed to 'learn.'"<br />She says the hardest lesson for society may be that young people will grow up lacking interest in learning.<br /><br />From VOA:<br />http://www.51voa.com/VOA_Special_English/For-Some-Teens-a-Busy-Life-Takes-Fun-Out-of-High-School-42425.html</font> |
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