who can help me revise my cover letter...THX

lunasy

大家好~ 本人明年即将毕业了 经导师推荐 联系上了一家外资投行的MD 现在得将简历和cover letter 发过去，但写好后自己总觉得不是太满意，感觉自己太平太差了...希望CD上的牛人们能够提提建议 帮忙修改一下，thx thx thx！！！这封信的关键程度可谓不言而喻啦 如能顺利进去的话 以后一定来CD扒内幕 thx thx thx!!!


Dear Professor XXX:



First of all, thank you very much for paying attention to this letter.



My name is XXX, from XXX university, major in XXX, institute of finance. It’s really a great honor to write this letter to you. After Hearing your story of hard work and great success, I found that whether as a respectful scholar or as a successful managing director, you really give us a lot motive force to struggle and set a great model for us to follow!



I majored in Micro-electronic manufacturing at XXX university from 2006 to 2010. During that period, just like any freshmen else, I was exposed to some new things and knowledge, among which I was most attracted by the “invisible hand”—the Economics. After further study and serious consideration, I decided to continue my study and pursue a master's degree in economics. In the stage of postgraduate, I selected securities investment as my main research field and learned some financial core courses such as investment, fixed income securities, corporate finance.At the same time, I also passed some financial certification exams such as the CIIA Level 1 and CPA (Financial Management). During my internship in China Merchants Security and Hopson Development Holdings Limited, I accumulated some experiences on securities investment and the process of project financing. As for my career planning, I really want to have some developments in the investment bank industry. I know in this business the requirement for talentsis quite high-standard and there is also a lot things that I need to improve myself, but I have been keeping working hard and trying my best to make myself qualified because I always believe that diligence can make up a lot things. So I would really be grateful that if I can receive a reference letter from you.



Thank you for your time and consideration.



Yours sincerely

      XXX

hangli2

Do not repeat your CV in the cover letter. Highlight two or three relevant experiences by telling stories.

lunasy

thanks for your advice.but the two or three relevant experiences is refer to what?  i already write down all my relevant experiences in my cv。。。so a little confused 。。。
another question： how many pages is appropriate for a cv  ？ thx thx thx！！！

leetongbaob123

story is something behind your cv...
leave him a deep impression, boy...

p.s. cv: 1 page enough...

hangli2

work experience is the most relevant. you don't need to highlight your certification in the cover letter unless there is a impressive story behind.

cover letter is a complement to your CV, not a substitute. you have two pages only to show yourself~

lunasy

thx guys!  i made some changes . Is it getting better?

1st paragraph......

     I majored in Micro-electronic manufacturing at Guilin University of Electronic and Technology from 2005 to 2009.  (  Just like Steve Jobs said: “things in your past are just like some dots, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future”. Now looking back, the four year’s study of engineering is definitely a precious and priceless experience to me because it, in a great extent, cultivated my rigorous and conscientious attitude, made me more mature and taught me to be a positive and tough person. There is no doubt that I will benefit from it all my entire life. )  While in the stage of postgraduate, I selected securities investment as my main research field and learned some financial core courses such as investment, fixed income securities, corporate finance. (  Also through some relevant internship opportunities, I gradually get a much more deeper understanding of the business. Surely in future, there will be a lot of pressures and obstacles in front of me, but I will not back down, because deep down my heart, I know I’m ready to take all the challenges.)

As for my career planning。。。。。

决不再失去

完全没有抓住COVER LETTER的精髓所在，不PROFESSIONAL