一篇很搞笑的文章

ibanking

*Somali Pirates apply to become bank, aim to access TARP
*Paulson: TARP
pirate equity is an 'investment' - will pay off
*Kashkari says 'Somali
pirates are 'fundamentally sound''
*Moodys upgrades Somali pirates to
AAA
*Somali pirates in discussions to acquire Citibank
*Fed officials:
aggressive easing would cut Somali pirate risk
*Fed agreed Nov 2 to take
'whatever steps' needed for Somali pirates
Somali Pirates in Discussions to
Acquire Citigroup
 
 November 20 (Gloomberg) -- The Somali pirates,
renegade Somalis known
for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden,
are negotiating a
purchase of Citigroup.
    

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing
cash
stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous
ships,
including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker.
The
Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup,
pirate
spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have
entered
the final stage, Ali said. ``You may not like our price, but we are
not
in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood
to
offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.
The pirates will finance
part of the purchase by selling new Pirate
Ransom Backed Securities. The
PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from
future ransom payments from
hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and
S& have already issued their
top investment grade ratings for the
PRBS's.
Head pirate, Ubu Kalid
Shandu, said "we need a bank so that we have a
place to keep all of our
ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in
the capital markets has allowed
us to purchase Citigroup at an
attractive valuation and to take advantage of
TARP capital to grow the
business even faster."
Shandu added, "We don't
call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and
this will just allow us to
guard our coasts better."

    

 

[此贴子已经被作者于2008-12-1 9:53:42编辑过]