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人间烟火Sue

【26】

        This speaker draws the conclusion that there is no need to substantially increase

fundingfor Einstein High School. To support this conclusion, the speaker claims that

Einsteinhas improved its educational efficiency over the past 20 years, even though

fundinglevel s have remained relatively constant. His evidence is that two-thirds of

Einstein'sgraduates now go on to college, whereas 20 years ago only half of its students

did so.This argument suffers from several critical problems.

       To begin with, we must establish the meaning of the vague concept"educational

efficiency."If the term is synonymous with the rate of graduation to college, then the

statisticscited would strongly support the argument. But, normally we are interested in

somethingmore than just the numbers of students who go on to college from a high

school;we also want to know how well the school has prepared students for a

successfulcollege experience—that is, whether the school has provided a good  

secondaryeducation. Thus, for the speaker the term "educational efficiency"must

essentially carry the same meaning as "educational quality."

       Given this clarification, one of the speaker's assumptions is that the rate of

graduationto college has increased because Einstein is doing a better job of educating

itsstudents. However, the fact that more Einstein graduates now go on to collegemight

simplyreflect a general trend. And the general trend might have less to do with

improvedsecondary education than with the reality that a college degree is now the

standard of entry into most desirable jobs.

       But even if the quality of education at Einstein had improved, would this be a

compellingreason to deny Einstein additional funding? I don't think so. It is possible

that theschool has managed to deliver better education in spite of meager funding.

Teachersmay be dipping into their own pockets for supplies and other resources

necessaryfor doing their job well. Perhaps the quality of education at Einstein would

improve even more with additional financial support.

       In sum, this argument does not establish the conclusion that additional fundingfor

Einsteinis unnecessary. To do so, the speaker would have to provide evidence that the

qualityof education at Einstein has improved. This could be done by examining student

assessmentscores or by tracking students through their college careers to see how many

successfullygraduate and find jobs. In addition, the speaker would also have to show

thatEinstein is doing a good job with adequate financial support, and not merely in

spite of insufficient funding.

人间烟火Sue

【27】

      The customer-service division of Mammon Savings and Loan recommends that

the bestway for the bank to attract new customers and differentiate itself fromits  

competitorsis to improve its service to customers—specifically, by reducing waiting

time inteller lines, opening for business 30 minutes earlier, and closing an hourlater.

Theseimprovements, it is argued, will give the bank the edge over its competitorsand

make itappear more customer-friendly. For the most part this recommendation is  

well-reasoned;a few concerns must be addressed, however.

       First,the author assumes that Mammon's competitors are similar to Mammon in

allrespects other than the ones listed. In fact, Mammon's competitors may be more

convenientlylocated to customers, or offer other services or products on more attractive

termsthan Mammon. If so, Mammon may not gain the edge it seeks merely by

enhancing certain services.

       Secondly,the author assumes that the proposed improvements will sufficiently

distinguishMammon from its competitors. This is not necessarily the case. Mammon's

competitorsmay already offer, or may plan to offer, essentially the same customer-

servicefeatures as those Mammon proposes for itself. If so, Mammon may not gain the

edge itseeks merely by enhancing these services.

       Thirdly,the author assumes that Mammon can offer these improved services

withoutsacrificing any other current features that attract customers, in fact, Mammon

may haveto cut back other services or offer accounts on less attractive terms, all to

compensatefor the additional costs associated with the proposed improvements. By

renderingits other features less attractive to customers, Mammon may not attain the

competitive edge it seeks.

       In conclusion, Mammon's plan for attracting new customers and differentiating

itselffrom its competitors is only modestly convincing. While improvements in

customerservice generally tend to enhance competitiveness, it is questionable whether

the specific improvements advocated in the recommendation are broad enough to be

effective.

人间烟火Sue

【28】

      The  author concludes that City L has good schools, affordable housing, friendly

people,flourishing arts and a safe environment. To support this claim the author citesan

annualsurvey that ranks cities according to quality of life. Two years ago City L was

listed14th in this survey. As it stands this argument is unconvincing.

       First,the author fails to indicate what individual characteristics of cities were used

ascriteria for the ranking. To the extent that the criteria used in the surveywere the

same asthe features listed by the author in the conclusion, the conclusion would b

warranted.On the other hand, if the survey employed entirely different criteria—for

example,outdoor recreational opportunities or educational achievement levels of adult

residents—then the author's conclusion would be wholly unwarranted.

       Secondly,the author provides no indication of how each characteristic was

weightedin the ranking. For example, City L may have far and away the most

flourishingarts scene among the cities surveyed, but it may have poor schools,

unfriendlypeople, and an unsafe environment. The extent to which the survey

accuratelyreflects City L's overall quality of life in this case would depend largely on

the relative weight placed on the arts as a factor affecting quality of life.

       Thirdly,the author fails to indicate how many cities were included in the survey.

Th morecities included in the survey, the stronger the argument—and vice versa. For

example,if 2,000 cities were surveyed, then City L would rank in the top one percent in

terms ofquality of life. On the other hand, if only 14 cities were surveyed then City L

would rank last.

       Finally,the author's conclusion depends on the questionable assumption that the

conditionslisted by the author have remained unchanged in City L since the survey was

conductedtwo years ago. Admittedly, had ten years elapsed the argument would be

evenweaker. Yet two years is sufficient time for a significant change in theoverall

economy,the city's fiscal policies, its financial condition, or its political climate.Any of

these factors can affect the quality of schools, the extent to which art isflourishing, or

the cost of housing.

       In conclusion, the author does not adequately support the conclusion. To

strengthenthe argument, the author must show that the criteria used in the survey were

the sameas the features listed in the conclusion and were weighted in a way that does

notdistort the picture in City L. To better assess the argument, we would alsoneed more

informationabout the cities included in the survey, as well as what changes in City L

have occurred during thepast two years.

bigbabysmell

顶楼主！               

人间烟火Sue

bigbabysmell 发表于 2017-1-6 13:59
顶楼主！

谢谢，谢谢，我一定每天坚持找范文，坚持发下去

人间烟火Sue

【29】

       The following appeared in a memorandum from a member of a financial management

and consulting firm.

        "We have learned from an employeeof Windfall, Ltd., that its accounting

department,by checking about ten percent of the last month's purchasing invoices for

errorsand inconsistencies, saved the company some $10,000 in overpayments. In order

to helpour clients increase their net gains, we should advice each of them toinstitute a

policy ofchecking all purchasing invoices for errors. Such a recommendation could

also helpus get the Windfall account by demonstrating to Windfall the rigorousness of

our methods."

SampleEssay 1:

        The argument that checking allpurchasing invoices for errors will not only

increasethe net gains of the clients but also help the firm get the Windfall account isnot

entirely logically convincing, since it ignores certain crucial assumptions.

        First, the argument assumes thatinstituting a policy of checking all purchasing

invoicescan help find out the errors and inconsistencies. There are a number of reasons

why thismight not be true. For example, the people who check the accounts will

probablymake mistakes as anyone else, intentionally or unconsciously. If they do,

checking purchasing invoices will not help avoid errors and inconsistencies.

        Second, even if the checking can helpavoid errors and inconsistencies, it will not

necessarilysave money for the company, for it is also likely that the accounting

departmentmakes no mistakes. If they have no errors, how can the checking save

money forthe company.

        Finally, even supposing the checkingdoes save money for the company, the

argumentignores the fact that the checking itself costs the company money. If the cost

is morethan the gains from the errors, the company will lose money.

        Thus, the argument is not completely sound. The evidence in support of the

conclusionthat the checking of last month's invoices has saved the company $10,000

doeslittle prove the conclusion-that checking all purchasing invoices for errorswill

increasethe net gains of the clients but also help the firm get the Windfallaccount-since

it doesnot address the assumptions I have already raised. Ultimately, the argument

mighthave been strengthened by making it plain that checking all invoices willsurely

help findout errors, that all the invoices are bound to contain errors, and that the

checking itself will not cost much.

wttlll

楼主 可以建立一个互助群吗  大家互相该改作文？ 要是可以的话 非常感谢呢~~

人间烟火Sue

【30】

SampleEssay 2:

       In this argument a member of a financial management and consulting firm reasons

thatsince Windfall Ltd. increased its net gains by checking 10 percent of itspurchasing

invoicesfor errors, it would be a good idea to advise the firm's clients to institutea  

policy ofchecking all purchasing invoices for errors. Two potential benefits are

foreseenfrom this recommendation: it could help the firm's clients increase their net

gains,and it could help the firm land the Windfall account. The member's argument is

unconvincing for a couple of reasons.

       The main problem with the argument is that the conclusion is based upon

insufficientevidence. The fact that some of Windfall's purchasing invoices contained

errorsmight simply be attributable to the sloppy accounting practices of Windfall's

suppliers.Thus, rather than indicating a general problem, the invoice errors might

simply beindicative of a problem that is specific to Windfall Ltd. In other words, the

evidencedrawn from Windfall's experience is insufficient to support the conclusion that

all purchasing invoices are subject to similar errors.

       Secondly,the evidence offered in the argument suggests only that companies

purchasingfrom the same suppliers that Windfall purchases from are likely to

experiencesimilar problems. If the firm's clients do not purchase from Windfall's

suppliers,checking for errors might turn out to be a monumental waste of time.

       In conclusion, the author's argument fails to provide good grounds for instituting

thepolicy of routinely checking purchasing invoices for errors. To strengthen the

conclusionthe author would have to provide evidence that this is a widespread problem.

Specifically,what is required are additional instances of purchasing invoices containing

errorsthat are drawn from various companies.

人间烟火Sue

wttlll 发表于 2017-1-8 20:51
楼主 可以建立一个互助群吗  大家互相该改作文？ 要是可以的话 非常感谢呢~~ ...

可以啊，我建吗？放个二维码会不会被封....我还有点担心

灰暖暖

感谢分享！