Terry95的作文帖(欢迎大家来吐槽）

sweetyecho

错误修改好

By challenging three assumptions mentioned in the passage, the lecturer argues against the point that the number of birds will decline in the future.

In the first place, although the speaker admits that human population and settlement will indeed continue to expand in the future, she predicts that the total number of birds will not decrease,. The enlargement of human settlement will provide even better habitat (habitats) for some bird species while destroy some habitat for some certain kinds of birds, but the total size of bird population will not shrink. ( 前面这一整句话，总感觉不太好，但也说不上来具体为什么，是不是对比并列写的不好？亲自己再斟酌一下下)This point weakens the view made in the passage that the extension of human settlement will endanger birds. 这一段需要more details

Second, the amount of the agricultural land used to grow crops will not increase in the future. Thanks to the new technology, crops are becoming more productive than before so that even smaller amount of crops will satisfy the human needs.In this case, （根据我的听力，应该是技术进步，crops更多产，而不是smller amount，satisfy human needs）we will not need to expand the area of agricultural land.This information contradicts directly the idea that more agricultural land will be used because of the increasing human population.

Moreover, the professor suggests that the problem of pesticide poison of birds will not be an issue.The pesticides protecting crops is becoming less toxical than they （单复要一致）used to be. Moreover, the usage of pesticides will reduce because of the invention of pest-resistance crops.So pesticides will no longer harm birds as much as they did before. This suggestion relieves the bleak situation foreshadowed in the passage that pesticides will make the number of birds decline.

很好了，没啥问题～

slave918

修改稿

There is no doubt that historic buildings are the cultural symbol of a city, or even the emblem of a civilization;therefore, the government should seriously consider the preservation of those valuable assets. However, the fund to protect them is not limitless because the government is also responsible for building other infrastructures, such as constructing new homes for their citizens.Now, a question is raised: Should the government spend more money on building new homes than on preserving old buildings? My answer is positive.

In the first place, government officials should consider the living conditions of their citizens prior to inanimated buildings. Let me ask you a question: which one is more important, the human life or the appearance of stones? Obviously, human life should always be the first consideration of any incumbent officials. Thus, it is at least morally correct to spend more money on improving our living conditions, by building more shelters for us, than on preserving stones.
楼主不能简单的说apparently，这个更加重要。所以。。。云云。需要有具体的例子

Moreover, all the government expenditures, including the money spent on the preservation of old buildings, come from the citizens’ pockets, that is , the tax collected from us. Naturally, the tax should directly and firstly be used to benefit the tax payers and to foster their well-beings rather than to preserve historic buildings which will only indirectly and less effectively improve our living standards.

At last, it is economically a good idea to spend more money building new houses because investing in real estates is enormously profitable for the government. In this way ,the government will earn more money by selling houses and apartments to citizens and ,in turn,it can spend the earned money preserving historic buildings. Eventually, both the citizens and the old buildings will benefit from this investment.

In a nutshell, I wholeheartedly support the idea that the government should spend more money on the erection of new buildings.


总的来说，每个理由都需要具体的示例进行支撑。这样也会增加楼主的字数哦

Terry95

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-7-31 19:25
错误修改好

By challenging three assumptions mentioned in the passage, the lecturer argu ...

改得好好喔！谢谢啦！！

Terry95

slave918 发表于 2014-7-31 19:30
修改稿

There is no doubt that historic buildings are the cultural symbol of a city, or  ...

改得好认真喔，谢谢啦！！我马上来看你的

GJason

昨天你的作业我今天恐怕没法给你改了，中午就要出发会母校参加活动了，下周一改给你

Terry95

GJason 发表于 2014-8-1 09:27
昨天你的作业我今天恐怕没法给你改了，中午就要出发会母校参加活动了，下周一改给你 ...

好的，没关系。

Terry95

8/3 独立 题目是我自己在外面找的，因为有范文可对比。
Agree or not agree?
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial supports.
It is, indeed, indisputable that the quality of courses and the number of useful books in libraries are the determinant aspects of a school. However more and more students and prospective employers have been stressing on the importance of sports and social activities in college in the last few decades. This rapid change brings about a question and a pragmatic problem : how crucial are sports and social activities for student and how much money should be expended on them. In my view, the importance of sports and social activities is no less than that of classes and libraries so that the funds should be equally divided into the four subjects.

In the first place, sports and social activities can effectively shape students' physical fitness and communicating skills, the key factors that will determine students' potential of success.Nowadays, when human resources managers consider whether candidates are qualified for a position or not, they will observe not only how far the candidates have achieved in the field of their specialties, which are mostly trained in the classes, but also their abilities to deal with people and their physical appearances; so participation in social events and adequate exercise will facilitate students to find jobs. Moreover, the benefits of sports and social activities are not merely restricted to employment: Except for expertise and knowledge, communicating skills is also a necessary quality of an entrepreneur since, in the modern business process, a pleasant communication with clients can undoubtedly foster turnover and, in turn, increase profits. In short, the schools can help students' career by ensuring that their students have enough chances to exercise and to practice social skills.

Secondly, sports and social activities should be funded as adequately as courses and books.Like the costs of paying salary for professors,of purchasing valuable books, and of providing necessary facilities for classes, the expense of holding a social events and of building a playground or a gym can also be immense. Thus a school with adequate funds for sports and social activities can always do better in promoting students' physical fitness and social skills. In my own experience, I was educated in an university that has plentiful resources of funds to build all kinds of sports utilities and always funds a variety of social activities. On the other hand, Eric, my classmate in high school, graduates from a school where funds are largely spent on classes and books. Before we entered into college, Eric and I had been exactly the same in physical build and social communication. Four years later, I became noticeably more fit and sociable than him. And because of these advantages, I found much more opportunities than Eric in the job market. In conclusion, the financial supports can impose remarkable effects on the construction of sports facilities and the organization of social activities and can provide students more chances to develop social skills that will help them find better jobs.

In a nutshell, sports and social activities can have profound impact on a student's career,so the university should guarantee sufficient funds for them.

GJason

Terry95 发表于 2014-8-1 14:46
好的，没关系。

你31日的作业呢？不能偷懒啊

Terry95

GJason 发表于 2014-8-4 10:19
你31日的作业呢？不能偷懒啊

哈哈， Jason兄， 你还欠我一篇7/29的综合呢

GJason

Terry95 发表于 2014-8-4 10:39
哈哈， Jason兄， 你还欠我一篇7/29的综合呢

7/29没占座呀