Terry95的作文帖(欢迎大家来吐槽）

Terry95

7/27   （虽然是第一次，不过还是要用力喔亲）

Independent Writing

To what extent do you agree that we should buy only domestic products even if we have to spend more money to do so than to purchase imported goods.

Because of the globalization and the informational revolution developing in the late 20th century, a gargantuan amount of goods are flowing from one country to another.However,not everyone taking part in these prosperous business activities is enthusiastic about this overwhelming trend.Some so-called patriots oppose the idea of purchasing foreign products because they view this action in a betrayal of their motherland.On the other hand, I wholeheartedly support importing merchandise from other nations.

To begin with, according to a basic economic conception,international trade can benefit everyone involved.Some countries can produce certain products at lower cost and of better quality than other countries;thus, consumers can obtain better and cheaper goods from the country that is more specialized in making the goods than the consumers’ own country.In this case,international trade will improve the well-being of the domestic customers and the foreign suppliers.In short,international trade can foster the overall economy in the world.

Although the national producers protest the alleged harm imposed by imported products,those goods can,in fact,help the domestic producers indirectly but profoundly. Normally, people purchase foreign products because those goods are better than the domestic ones; hence, the domestic producers would have to learn to improve the quality of their own products or otherwise would lose their shares in the market and be expelled from the market eventually. No owner wants to see the bankrupt of his/her company, so the owners will no doubt enhance their products that,in turn, attract more business and increase profits. As we can see, the advanced foreign products can actually force the national industries to grow up.

Moreover, consumers will definitely benefit from international trade. International trade can make the market more competitive, so sellers will lower the prices and find ways to satisfy the buyers. Suffice to say that purchasers will get better products at lower price.

In conclusion, prohibiting the exchange of goods among different countries has positive effects on neither the foreign suppliers, nor the national manufactures, nor the domestic consumers.

Integrated writing  IPO 13

The lecture points out that the advantages of the private collection of fossils far outweigh the drawbacks and that the disadvantages of private collections are overstated.This position directly contradicts the view in the reading material that the private collection of fossils will harm the interest of both the public and the academics.

At the first place,the lecturer indicates that more people will have chance to see fossils if those fossils are sold to individuals.This is because lower schools and institutions will be able to afford the expense of obtaining fossils.This situation is the polar opposite of situation described in the reading material.

Also, the lecturer disagrees with the conjuncture that private collection of fossils will make scientist unable to reach those sold fossils.In support of her suggestion,the lecturer points out that scientists will have more access to the fossils because the fossils to be sold must be identified by the scientists first before the buyers purchase them.

At last,the lecturer states that universities and research institutions do not have enough energy or resources to discover all the sites containing fossils,so it is better that the private individuals find some fossils while ruin some of the surrounding ones than that those fossils remain undiscovered.

资深少女_贾贾

我改的你独立哦! 先占座 ，

To what extent do you agree that we should buy only domestic products even if we have to spend more money to do so than to purchase imported goods.

1. 这里是spend doing sth 吧
2. than的前后对比，前面是should buy... 后面应该是平行结构，用原型或者should purchase吧...

看完下一段才发现这是题目，⊙﹏⊙b汗

Because of the globalization and the informational revolution developing in the late 20th century, a gargantuan amount of goods are flowing from one country to another.However,not everyone taking part in these prosperous business activities is enthusiastic about this overwhelming trend.Some so-called patriots oppose the idea of purchasing foreign products because they view this action in a betrayal of their motherland.On the other hand, I wholeheartedly support importing merchandise from other nations.

1. 我觉得这里转折的意味没有那么强烈，改成In my point of view 之类的好一些

To begin with, according to a basic economic conception,international trade can benefit everyone involved.Some countries can produce certain products at lower cost and of better quality than other countries;thus, consumers can obtain better and cheaper goods from the country that is more specialized in making the goods than the consumers’ own country.In this case,international trade will improve the well-being of the domestic customers and the foreign suppliers.In short,international trade can foster the overall economy in the world.

1. 用词挺好的

Although the national producers protest the alleged harm imposed by imported products,those goods can,in fact,help the domestic producers indirectly but profoundly. Normally, people purchase foreign products because those goods are better than the domestic ones; hence, the domestic producers would have to learn to improve the quality of their own products or otherwise would lose their shares in the market and be expelled from the market eventually. No owner wants to see the bankrupt of his/her company, so the owners will no doubt enhance their products that,in turn, attract more business and increase profits. As we can see, the advanced foreign products can actually force the national industries to grow up.

Moreover, consumers will definitely benefit from international trade. International trade can make the market more competitive, so sellers will lower the prices and find ways to satisfy the buyers. Suffice to say that purchasers will get better products at lower price.

这里我觉得这一段和上一段可以合并，因为论点都是市场竞争能使企业发展的更好嘛~~~ 你可以再想一个论点然后展开写，文章内容也可以更加丰富。这是我的看法啦

In conclusion, prohibiting the exchange of goods among different countries has positive effects on neither the foreign suppliers, nor the national manufactures, nor the domestic consumers.

这里我不确定可不可以两个nor连用，一般是neither nor这个平行这样...

Terry95

资深少女_贾贾 发表于 2014-7-27 23:09
我改的你独立哦! 先占座 ，

To what extent do you agree that we should buy only domestic products eve ...

谢谢啦，改得这么认真
咱们继续深入一下哈
你觉得这么改了以后还有没有问题？
To what extent do you agree that we should buy only domestic products even if we have to spend more money doing do than purchasing imported goods.
还有就是黄色和蓝色是啥意思啊？

资深少女_贾贾

Terry95 发表于 2014-7-28 09:47
谢谢啦，改得这么认真
咱们继续深入一下哈
你觉得这么改了以后还有没有问题？

啊 = = 不好意思昨天只改了一半就太困了睡了，现在po好的才是完整版。

加背景的词是我觉得挺好的用法。。。

你用词都挺高级的哈哈~~~

Terry95

资深少女_贾贾 发表于 2014-7-27 23:09
我改的你独立哦! 先占座 ，

To what extent do you agree that we should buy only domestic products eve ...

neither...,nor...,nor...这个用法有的，我在senator Robert Kennedy 竞选1968年总统的一篇critique里面看过。
原句是 GDP measures neither our courage,nor our wisdom,nor our devotion to our country.

资深少女_贾贾

Terry95 发表于 2014-7-28 13:01
neither...,nor...,nor...这个用法有的，我在senator Robert Kennedy 竞选1968年总统的一篇critique里面 ...

哦哦 学习啦~！

Terry95

资深少女_贾贾 发表于 2014-7-28 15:46
哦哦 学习啦~！

哈哈，我也感觉到我的第四段是凑字数，今天把作业写完了再改改的说

Terry95

28日   独立
If you cannot say anything nice about someone, you'd better not say anything.

TRY TO AVOID JUDGING ANYONE
It is common for us to describe other people we know, and nobody is perfect;therefore sometimes we are ready to say something negative about someone.For example, we always complain about our bosses when they give us too much work.Or, wives disclose their husbands’ unacceptable behavior to their friends.In my opinion,most events cannot be justified to say anything bad about other people.

In the first place, those unpleasant words can hurt others directly,or even profoundly.My cousin had been a very confident and diligent boy before his teacher told his parents he will not be qualified to study in college. His teacher said so simply because he is not very good at tests.After my cousin heard the teacher’s words,he was obviously discouraged and gave up the idea of further education.Now,lacking of a diploma, he cannot even find a decent job in the city. In short, the teacher’s words at least partly caused his unemployment.

In addition to causing direct harm,improper language can also terminate a close relationship. People normally feel embarrassed or even infuriated when they hear bad descriptions of themselves,and,in turn, this will aggravate the relationship with the people who made these descriptions.Finally, their relationship might end with these bad words.

However,there is one exception that we should not hesitate to pass our judgment on someone: when your judgment links to the well-being of other people. For example, when your boss is deciding whether to hire your friend who is infamous for his/her slackness, the boss will naturally ask your opinion upon your friend. In this case, if you remain silence instead of tell the truth, your boss might hire your friend and your company might bear the negative effects imposed by your friend’s slovenliness.In the end, the employees of your company,including yourself, might loss their interests because you do not give the bad but true descriptions about your friend.

In conclusion, we should not say anything bad about others only if those bad but genuine expressions are not related to some others’ well-being.

IPO

The lecture indicates that the number of cane toad is not easy to be diminished and the measures taken to eliminate those animals might cause unexpected damages.This argument contradicts directly the opinion expressed in the reading material.

In the first place, building fence will not be able to stop cane toad from entering into the place where there is no cane toad existing now.This is because the fence cannot prevent the young cane toad and the eggs of cane toad carried by the water from colonizing and because even a small number of eggs can reproduce a large number of toad cane.

Also,the lecture points out that although having a large number of people attack cane toads could diminish the number of cane toads, doing so might also kill the native frogs. The reasoning is that most of the hunters are untrained and the physical appearances between cane toad and native frog are slightly different,so the hunters might mistakenly kill the native frogs.

At last,the lecturer argues that the virus-strategy mentioned in the reading material could impose unexpected negative effects on the environment of South America.The virus will be transported to America and,in turn, infect the cane toad there. Since the cane toad is a vital part of South American ecological environment, the eradication of tune toads will damage the ecological system there.

GJason

写的非常流畅，感觉楼主的水平为什么还要练习呢？

Terry95

GJason 发表于 2014-7-29 18:48
写的非常流畅，感觉楼主的水平为什么还要练习呢？

我感觉，首先我的作文水平一般般吧，再就是我觉得写作是口语的基础，写作好了跟老美们会话时才不会局限于简单的打招呼，才能了一些较深的话题，而且口语好了对将来申请，面试，学习，工作都有裨益。所以即使将来考完托，我也准备继续写下去，不过不在小分队写啦，去economist这些网站上写写评论什么的。