risedream作文习作帖，期盼拍砖，越多越好(^_^)

risedream

Nowadays it’s easier to maintain health than the past.

The white-hot focus on health care has never died down over the past centuries. People in modern life always look everywhere to find ways to maintain their health. On internet, in books, find professors. But what we don’t know is that, people from the past also care for their health qualities. They always care for what food they eat and what sports they do. Then comes a question: which one is easier to reach the goal, which one can truly maintain their health. Due to the surrounding statement, we regretfully comes to the conclusion that it is easier for people from the past to remain their health.

First, because of the development of cities and the working of the factories, more and more pollution was caused. The nature is strongly frustrated by these operations. The water and air was polluted because of factories, wood was wasted because of the construction of monuments and buildings. Take Beijing for example, its environment is once considered to be one of the best in China,its air fresh and sky blue like the sea. But a few years later, observers found that the air pollution has fiercely increased in Beijing. It’s sky is no longer blue anymore. Some people even get sick from the disastrous environment. How could people maintain their health under such conditions? Instead, the people from the past always lived in a fresh and unpolluted environment which made them more easy to obtain health.

Further more, the modern people have developed themselves their worst enemy against their health, which are those unhealthy food. Such as french fries and burgers. These food strongly cause the balance of body energy to over tilt, because of the large amount of calories enacted from such food. We could not resist to the tempt of eating such food. In comparison, people from the past did not develope such food, they always eat fresh healthy green food which not only is healthy but also very nutritious for their health. We can have the example of two people living now for the replay of comparison in people now and then. Tim, is a person that likes to eat chips and hamburgers. On the other hand, John, a boy that likes to eat fresh clean vegetables. A thorough health test was being made on both of them. Turns out that John is way healthier than Tim. Showing that eating such food really does a negative effect to our own body.

Last but not the least, people nowadays always eat supplements or tonics to maintain their health. Even children drink energy drinks all the time thinking they can get energy back the body. Although it does make effect on the body temporarily, it still does little effect on the real health qualities our body have. The short active body conditions can not be considered as true health either. Which by the people from the past, they take care of their body the whole time, there’s not so much troubling conditions to trouble them, which made them so much easier to maintain their health.

To sum up all these considerations and comparison we draw between people from modern world and the past, we may come to the conclusion regretfully, that it is true people from the past can better obtain higher health qualities.

risedream

getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting advice from friends your same age.

Questions were always faced in our lives. Some we can solve on our own, some we cannot. In that time the advices from others are fairly important. The question is, who we should gain it from? Some like to get advices from our peers, some like to ask their seniors. Both sides have reasonable points. The ones that ask their peers think they have the same view on seeing questions and are easier to reason with. The other ones that ask the seniors believe the old people can see questions more deeply. When facing this doubtful question, I choose to ask the ones that are older than me.

The most important part we should consider about advices is that how useful they were. People that are older than us often have more experience and seen more than us. Their words can be proved reliable and trustworthy. Instead, our peers have only the experience that we have had. They cannot provide us with any further suggestions before what we have considered. Take myself for example. I had trouble choosing my elective courses. So I went to enquire about other people’s view. I got two answers. One is from my mother, the other my classmate. My classmate chose art due to the standpoint that it is much fun than other courses. My mother, however, gave me the answer of computers. Because she thought I could learn extra knowledge and technics from this class. Turns out she’s right, the art class did not teach them any actual drawing skills, instead I learned a lot of skills from my computer class.

What’s more, older people often consider questions more deeply than us do. They are in an environment of such people of that age. And after the interference of social surroundings, they are more confident. But same-aged people always give out rational and emotional answers. They are possibly handing out answers that have personal feelings in it, but not the most fit solution. Such as the times when we are right before our final exams, but the mall has a big bargain. The seniors would tell us to stay put and review at home. But at the age of our own, our peers may urge us to go shopping instead of preparing for our exams.

Nonetheless, our peers can see questions at our point of view, and better understand our thoughts and likes. But on the determine of question solutions, we do not see what is the most comfortable for us, we seek for the one that is best to solve the question. For what we know, comfortable is not always right, sometimes good deeds may be difficult. Just like the bargain we have discussed about. Of course shopping is fun and easy-going, but to prepare the exams are way more important than that. And we need people that can think of that to give such advices, make us avoiding mistakes.

To sum up all these sources we can think about this question. I came to the conclusion that in problem solving, to seek answers from our seniors plays a more crucial role than to share ideas between our peers.

risedream

好的交流技巧communication skill,是否是一个politician 或leader的最重要技能。

Communication skills have always been considered as a most important thing in the social contacts. They may interfere with our friend sources, company relationships, colleague relationships in social environments. I believe that a leader, or a politician, should be considered to need more of this kind of skill particularly, because they need to make relationships more than anyone did on business. They need to make contacts with other people, other companies to bring benefit or cooperation.

First of all, the cooperate between different sources are vital for leaders and politicians. Take a company’s administrator for example. He or she needs to deal with the contracts with other companies and with his own partners and staff. Otherwise the company would fail in its operate and come to a very dangerous situation. For politicians, they need to communicate with different kinds of people to demonstrate their point of view on politics, they have to demonstrate clearly so that the people can better understand his or her points. Otherwise no one will be supporting them.

Moreover, they need this kind of skills to better talk to different kinds of people, not only coworkers, but other people as well. If they want to ask someone something and they cannot illustrate their problems so well, they may not get the answers they want, putting themselves and their team into a fairly dangerous situation. It can also play an important part when they are communicating with their staff or their team members. They need to make a harmonious atmosphere of work so that the group won’t be separated and scattered. In that way, a team can work properly and be highly qualified.

But some thinks that the leaders and politicians are those who only give out orders for staff to operate, but they do not set hand on any actual movement. I will answer this prospect by making a hypothesis to demonstrate. What if they don’t have any communicational skills? What if they are really only giving orders? The answer is quiet obvious. For company leaders, if they are only saying and does not do anything, there’s no one left to do any decisions, there’s no one that can  negotiate and stand up with other companies, to debate with opponents and to keep the team together. It’s more obvious on politicians, they are the ones to demonstrate and explain their thoughts and view about certain politic events, there’s no one that can do it for them, they are the only ones that can speak out, they speak for themselves.

To gather up all this managements leaders and politicians have to do by using their communication skills, we can easily come to the conclusion that this particular technic in language is vital for them to stand on the social backgrounds they are in.

risedream

2014-2-6

题目：People attend college or university for many different reasons( for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.(OG1)

The part that colleges and universities play in modern life has grown more and more important. People choose to attend college and universities for use of many purposes. Like some was tempting to get work experience and skills, some was for deeper and wider knowledge storage. The commitment of a university also has a great influence on job references and respect of others in environments. It has been put as a standard for people’s abilities and culture grades. I can list a few reasons that people attend universities for you in the following paragraphs.

The most obvious reason that anyone knows is its importance for future career. The world is developing in to a more high-ranking one, and so is the require for education quality. People think that students that has gone to college and university obviously have more studying ability and far consideration since they past the SAT test. Like when to resume was put before the deputy of one company, one is only up to high school, however the other one has gone all the way to college. The chooser would think the university student would have more ability and brains for its companies work. So a certificate of university graduation can always be a key to open the door to a good job. Plus, certain jobs have to require the skills to do the job, people can learn these requirements in college. Such as being a doctor, people have to learn how to do operations or give out medicines. And college, is a perfect host for all those needs.

Besides actual use in socialize living consideration, students thought more about their knowledge obtain problems. The seniors and peers in college often holds more profound views on questions and deeper knowledge. To study with these students can learn a lot from them. Such as their thinking and studying ways. Moreover, their knowledge. Like when my sister is still in high school, she still holds the thought of asking the help from parents when she faces problems. However when she reaches college, she learned to handle problems and to solve them on her own and to use her own mind to think of solutions from her friends and seniors.

Partly from all the experiences we can obtain from other college and university students, the process of learning is also very valuable. The classes in college can help students to learn knowledge in a clear system, which can help students to understand these knowledges more easily. But if we learn on our own, we might easily be confused by the enormous amount of information given upon us in subjects. Plus, in college we can have all the answers we need that are held to the questions we generate. Teachers and surrounding students can produce a more professional answer which can help us learn right instead of going the wrong way we expect. Jason, a student in college once had several problems about his anthropology class. So he went to his professor to find answers. The professor give him specific answers and a few book names for him to study by. He would never found the answers and the books on his own base of information. Those directions helped him a lot on that subject.

To gather up all those good influence we can find from attending college, I will say that people went to college is due on such reasons: to obtain valuable job experience and commitment for their ability which is vital for interviews; and the precious characters and knowledge they can gain from the process of learning.

risedream

P姐驾到!
我成功啦!偷偷抱来了P姐姐的宝贝图,太好玩了!我太喜欢啦!最主要是我也有一个能动的图啦!

铁板神猴

risedream 发表于 2014-1-29 19:53
2014-1-29
题目：Should we require our young children (age 5-10) to learn music and art in addition t ...

Hi risedream,

时间所限，我只能先修改其中一篇回复给你。请下载附件。所有修改以修订的方式发给了你。你可以在word中，1. 选择右键，接受或者拒绝“修订”，来修改最终文章；2. 在word2010上方有个项目叫“审阅”，点进去，中间靠右边有快捷按钮“接受”or “拒绝”。

注意当你自己需要写新的修改内容时，去掉“修订”状态。重起一行，写新的内容。

我比较注重在已有的文章上精改，反复改。然后得出一套自己写TOEFL作文的既有套路。希望我们能够一篇彻底反复修改完毕后，再进行下一篇。


Good Luck！

Leon

risedream

非常感谢神猴老师!马上看!
您第二次指点我多改了,我记着的,现在时间特别不够用呢.

risedream

铁板神猴 发表于 2014-2-14 23:37
Hi risedream,

时间所限，我只能先修改其中一篇回复给你。请下载附件。所有修改以修订的方式发给了你。 ...

改得太好了!神猴老师,我看了有种您比我还知道我的感觉,我只是为了写例子去写结构,并不清楚为什么要写这个例子,对主题的作用也不会把握.您和小鹤鹤老师都指出我内容上的问题.您的分析给我好多启发,怎么立意,怎么切题,如何展开.老师的指点和讲解好细致,非常非常感谢!这一段感觉自己越学越觉得自己好多要学的,虽然看了好多,看老师改自己的,感受更深,更明白了那些讲解的含义了.
还要谢谢老师教我修订,我还没学会,那个审阅为什么点了就把最有用的修改看不到了呢?我不用审阅,我把再次修订学会就行啦.

铁板神猴

risedream 发表于 2014-2-15 07:24
改得太好了!神猴老师,我看了有种您比我还知道我的感觉,我只是为了写例子去写结构,并不清楚为什么要写这个 ...

嗯 那个的作用相当于修改完最终版本就是终稿的作用 如果想要留下修改痕迹可以另存一份 加油~

risedream

铁板神猴 发表于 2014-2-15 14:51
嗯 那个的作用相当于修改完最终版本就是终稿的作用 如果想要留下修改痕迹可以另存一份  加油~ ...

谢谢神猴老师。
这个修改稿是个大宝贝，退出时我没点保存修改，保持着它的原样呢。