8月机经作文一篇 还剩42小时上考场 求指导！！

metoo9

还有两天考试，求指导AWA，感觉总是抓不准驳斥的点，求批求指正。
废话少说，直接上题。
谢谢谢谢。

题目：

Over the past decade, the price per pound of citrus fruit has increased substantially. Eleven years ago, Megamart charged 5 cents apiece for lemons, but today it commonly charges over 30 cents apiece. In only one of these last eleven years was the weather unfavorable for growing citrus crops. Evidently, then, citrus growers have been responsible for the excessive increase in the price of citrus fruit, and strict pricing regulations are needed to prevent them from continuing to inflate prices.”

正文：
The argument that the cirtus growers should be blamed for the huge increase of the cirtus price and the rigorous plices should be carried out to prevent the continuing increases omits several important concerns that to be addressed to substantiate the conclusion. The statement that follows the fact that the price of apiece rose form 5 cents to 30 cents, and only one year of the past 11 years suffered an unfavorable weather. The line of reasoning above, however, is groundless to make the conclusion persuasive for the following critical flaws.

First of all, the argument commits a fallacy of oversimplified relationship. It is ture that only one year of the recent 11 years suffers bad weather, but it cannot conclude that the citrus growers should respond for the increase of price. This is so unconvincing to point out the "therefore" relationship between these two things. It is likely that the unfavorable weather cannot account for the increasing price of the cirtus fruit, and the real factors can be the increasing demand of the cirtus and the decreasing output of the cirtus. Thus, the argument is unsounded to assert the "therefore" relationship.

On the top of that, the argument is extremely doubtful that the bad weather is the only factor to lead to the increase of the price. It is likely that other factors drive the price goes higher and higher, such as the shortage of yelid per acre of the cirtus fruit, the increasing amount of taxes required by the government, and even the drastic competition between the importer's products. Without wap out these possible factors cannot conclude to the statement that citrus growers have been responsible for the excessive increase in the price of citrus fruit.

Last but not least, the statement is unfounded to gurantee the strict regulations of pricing can prevent the pricing from continuing to inflate prices. It is likely that even the regulations are setted, but the increasing price of the price can also exsit for the farmers who are unwilling to obey the rules. In this way, even though the strict pricing polices exists, the inflate price won't stop increasing. Therefore, the conclusion is biased, it should be added other factors to make sure the desire outcome.

All in all, the argument is unsounded to conclude that citrus growers have been responsible for the excessive increase in the price of citrus fruit, and strict pricing regulations are needed to prevent them from continuing to inflate prices. Only with more evidence to prove the relationship bewtten the unfavorable weather and the increasing price, trim out other factors which are likely to lead to the increase of the price of the cirtus, and more factors to guarantee the desired outcome of the police can make the argument more persuasive and convincing.

brentliang

Just pure suggestions and don't want to be offensive! Ps im not a guru, struggling with the Gmat as well.

First, pinpoint the conclusion of the argument
Second, find the gaps, i.e. the flaws in the assumptions.
Third, consider the "questionable assumptions", and how to weaken the argument

As for the above argument, u did fairly well but still can be improved.
Be more specific, provide more evidence to support your perspective.
Avoid only providing one sentence to illustrate your instances.
Give more examples to illustrate your point so as to make your point more convincing!

a. u found out the flaws-the relationship between the bad weather and the price.
However, actually the topic says that" only one year of the past 11 years suffered bad weather", and that means the fruit growers is the main issue instead the weather.
So you could explore a bit more with difference in the past decade and now. Use some evidence to support your points, for instance, the economic growth , the whole gobal market or supply and demand relationship,etc. Besides the weather,there are some other factors could affect the price inflation.
b. refute the flaws one by one.
  last decade and now-- difference
  rule out the weather factors in the 11 eleven years, other factors could cause the price inflations.
  pests of the fruit, the manpower , the over-all economy status of the agriculture, the competitors , the customers' preference.
  citrus growers have nothing to do with the excessive increase as well as the regulations.
c. strengthen the argument in your last paragraph.
   Instead of merely saying not enough evidence of conclusion, give some specific suggestions such as a all-rounded national market survey or the throughout data analysis of the fruit sales. Ps. do not use last but not least, it's not formal usage. Try, all in all, in a nutshell, to recapitulate, in conclusion and in the final analysis, etc.

Ace the Gmat and be your best !

Hope it could help!

metoo9

brentliang 发表于 2013-9-7 21:15
Just pure suggestions and don't want to be offensive! Ps im not a guru, struggling with the Gmat as  ...

Thanks for your such comprehensive analysis, it is really helpful!! Thank you a lot!