iammuse的作文，求狠拍

iammuse

9.2 TPO27
The passage contributes the Little Ice Age formation to three factors: disruption of ocean currents, volcanic eruption and human populations decrease. But the lecturer casted a doubt on these factors with updated scientific discoveries.

Firstly, considering the disruption of ocean currents, it really makes sense in Europe and North America. But the Little Ice Age also occurred in New Zealand, while no evidence showed that it has disruption currents there. So the location New Zealand contradicts the first disruption arguments in the article.
Furthermore, the professors pointed out the even the volcanic eruption definitely bring dark dusts, the dusts didn't have that gigantic impact. Normally they just make grey snow or sunset phenomenon. What's more, volcanic eruption didn't routinely happen.
In the end, the article listed one indirect cause--human population decrease, which will affect trees increasing, carbon dioxide going down and earth becoming cooler. The lecturer opposed this argument with the point that human population will increase back quickly and that the trees will not grow long enough to decrease carbon dioxide in a large scale.
From the above points, you can find that the lecturer contradicts all the tree factors in the article. It can't only explain the cause of the Little Ice age formation by disruption ocean currents, volcanic eruption and human population decrease.

iammuse

9.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.

The perfect situation is having both enough money and enough time at one time. But normally, we only have either one of them, a job with more vacation time or a job with high salary but less vacation time. If I need to choose one of them, I prefer to have a job with high salary but less vacation time.

Firstly, I believe that the harder you achieve your aim, the happier you will be. So you would be more precious about the less vacation opportunity. To make it more memorable and perfect, you’ll work out the plan long time ago and do the preparation patiently. During the vacation, your minds remind you that this is the only time for relaxing in the whole year. Then you’ll let yourself deeply involved in the happiness and relaxing environments. Taking vacation for many times a year, you’ll not have those experiences.

Talking about the money, it’s definitely right that you still can have a memorable holiday with little money. But for me, I hate to not enjoy the vacation because I don’t have enough money. When I went to Thailand several years ago, I was young and didn’t have savings. My friends all went to see one unique performance, while I couldn’t since I needed to save money for the rest journey. It made me so depressed that I still now remember the mood at that time. So higher salary would let you relive from the financial concerns and have a fully enjoyment.

Finally, when you come back from this high-quality, precious and relaxing holiday, you’ll totally refresh yourself and work more effectively. So considering all these reasons, I would like to have a job with more salary and less vacations.

dingzhiwei

iammuse 发表于 2013-9-3 15:58
9.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time is better t ...

改完了哈，实在不好意思，拖了这么久。最近是比较多。以后不再写作小组里拖累大家了。

楼主写作挺给力的，继续加油！！！！

iammuse

dingzhiwei 发表于 2013-9-4 20:32
改完了哈，实在不好意思，拖了这么久。最近是比较多。以后不再写作小组里拖累大家了。

楼主写作挺给力的 ...

非常感谢，语言改的好多了。一不注意就chinglish了。
看来路漫漫啊

iammuse

9.2 TPO27 修正
The passage contributes the Little Ice Age formation to three factors: disruption of ocean currents, volcanic eruption and human populations decrease. But the lecturer casted a doubt on these factors with updated scientific discoveries.

Firstly, considering the disruption of ocean currents, it really makes sense in Europe and North America. But the Little Ice Age also occurred in New Zealand, while no evidence showed that it has disrupted currents there. So the location New Zealand contradicts the first disruption arguments in the article.
Furthermore, the professors pointed out that even the volcanic eruption definitely bring dark dusts; the dusts didn't have that gigantic impact. Normally they just make grey snow or sunset phenomenon. What's more, volcanic eruption didn't routinely happen.

In the end, the article listed one indirect cause--human population decrease, which will result in trees increasing, carbon dioxide going down and earth becoming cooler. The lecturer disapproved this argument with the point that human population will increase back quickly and that the trees will not grow long enough to decrease carbon dioxide in a large scale.
From the above points, you can find that the lecturer contradicts all the three theories in the article. It can't explain the cause of the Little Ice age formation only by disruption ocean currents, volcanic eruption and human population decrease.

iammuse

9.2独立 修正
The perfect situation is having both enough money and enough time at one time. But normally, we only have either one of them, a job with more vacation time or a job with high salary but less vacation time. If I need to choose one of them, I prefer to have a job with high salary but less vacation time.

Firstly, I believe that the harder you chased (or strive for) your aim, the happier you will be. Less vacation opportunity would be more precious to you. During the vacation, It reminds you that this is the only time for relaxing in the whole year. Then you’ll let yourself deeply involved in the happiness and relaxing environments. Taking vacation for many times a year, you’ll not have those experiences.


As for the money, it’s definitely possible that you could still have a memorable holiday with little money. But for me, I really loathe to recall the experiences of a vacation trip with a tight budget. Several years ago, when I went to Thailand, I was still too young to have savings. All of my friends except me went to a unique performance, while I have no choice since I had to save money for the rest journey. It made me so depressed that I still could not forget the mood at that time. So a higher salary would relive you from the financial concerns and have a fully enjoyment.

Finally, when you come back from this high-quality, precious and relaxing holiday, you’ll totally refresh yourself and work more effectively. So considering all these reasons, I would like to have a job with more salary and less vacations.

iammuse

妈呀，计时练了一次，超时超的妥妥的。。。
When it comes to college time, have you given a speech to fight for a chairman in a club? Have you been busy for holding an excellent performance and proud of it? And have you received your life-time precious friendship because you contributed in the same organization? If you have all the fabulous memories above, you will agree with me that students can benefits more for organizations or club activities.

Firstly, in an organization or club, students not only improve their communication skills but also achieve exposure mindset. Not as a stiff and official organization as company, students can freely provide the suggestion or idea, and strive for the leaders. During this process, students will exercise their communication skills such as presentation and persuasive skills. And the idea that I also can be a leader will influence their whole life. Just as my first speech in the advertising club during my college, I still remember how I was nervous but proud at that time, and also give me much courage during my work after graduation.

Another important point is that students will improve their management skill in an organization. It’s not surprising that you recognize such many factors and preparations you need to consider when first holding a musical performance—for example, lending clothes, rehearsing, booking the musical hall, promoting the activities and encouraging your team. You need to learn how to arrange different tasks and how to deal with temporary conflicts. The learning is not comparable with that in academic classes.

Finally, you could find your best friends during these experiences. Since you work together, face the difficulty together and encourage each other, the precious experiences concrete your friendship for a long time. The establishers of Facebook are the friends who joined in a same club in college.

Admittedly, academic classes offer solid knowledge, group discussion and also presentation opportunities, but it also suffers from not having so many practice chances. Considering all the analysis above, I prefer the point that students can get more from organization or club activities than academic classes.

ni_kate

iammuse 发表于 2013-9-5 16:52
妈呀，计时练了一次，超时超的妥妥的。。。
When it comes to college time, have you given a speech to f ...

个人愚见，改了了~~~

iammuse

9.5独立 修正版
When it comes to college time, have you given a speech to fight for a chairman in a club? Have you been busy for holding an excellent performance and proud of it? And have you received your life-time precious friendship because you contributed in the same organization? If you have all the fabulous memories above, you will agree with me that students can benefits more for organizations or club activities.

Firstly, in an organization or club, students not only improve their communication skills but also build up leadership skills. The club or organization in the school would give students more freedom to provide the suggestion or idea, and strive for the leaders. During this process, students will exercise their communication skills such as presentation and persuasive skills. And the idea that I can also be a leader will influence their whole life. Just as my first speech in the advertising club during my college, I still remember how I was nervous but proud at that time, and it also gives me much courage during my work after graduation.

Another important point is that the management skill will be improved in an organization. It’s not surprising that you recognize such many factors and preparations you need to consider when first holding a musical performance—for example, lending clothes, rehearsing, booking the musical hall, promoting the activities and encouraging your team. You need to learn how to arrange different tasks and how to deal with temporary conflicts. The learning is not comparable with that in academic classes.

Finally, you could find your best friends during these experiences. Since you work together, face difficulties together and encourage each other, the precious experiences concrete your friendship for a long time. The establishers of Facebook are the friends who joined in a same club in college.

Admittedly, academic classes offer solid knowledge, group discussion and presentation opportunities, but it also suffers from not having so many practice chances. Considering all the analysis above, I prefer the point that students can get more from organization or club activities than academic classes.  

追梦CY

咦？楼主你好，我是9-5作文和你互改的同学，请问你的9-5独立是写的9-4的作文题目吗？
我刚刚写完，是写的Do you agree or disagree that the rules in societies today are too strict for young people.  这个题目……
额，怎么互改呢？我看都有同学帮你批改了额。。。。现在好凌乱的说σ（⌒ー⌒）