新手一枚，多多指教

sherlock1992

TPO19

The reading passage explores the issue of  how 'buzzer' influence the marketing? The professor deals with the same issue. He invites a man who is a real buzzer coming to  his class and gives some different views comparing with what have been mentioned in the reading to buttress his idea.

First, the reading passage asserts that because of these buzzers have been paid, so their motivation to praise a product is hard to believe. Whereas, the buzzer refutes this idea by pointing out that it is completely contrary. For the process is the company firstly want some people to have a experience on their product and then if some positive feedback is received, these companies will hire some of these comsumers to be a buzzer. Therefore, their motivation has no problem.

Moreover, the author of the reading contends that consumers will listen to these distrust buzzers and choose products wrongly. The buzzers thinks this idea is terrible and the real situation is just the opposite. When consumers hear these buzzing, they usually hold an atitude of suspicion and will ask many questions just like the price and service of this product and how long you have used to figure some details out.

Lastly, the reading passage mentions that buzzing is harmful to social relationship, resulting in less trustful among poeple. But the man disagrees with and supports his idea with the fact that it is useless for a company to hire buzzer if a bad reputation is glued to it. If people have a real experience of the product, they will open to other people, which is a common phonemenon.

In conclusion, the buzzers clearly identifies the flaws in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the reading is incorrect.

sherlock1992

laneesherry 发表于 2013-8-27 01:34
同学你的TPO19呢？
要是不发的话我只好明天再帮你改了

抱歉，让你久等了。

sherlock1992

826
Do you agree the professional athletes such as the football player and basketball player deserved high
salaries to be paid?

这个题目赶脚很是蹩脚，所谓的professional athletes中，只有superstars的这一部分的工资才是astronomical number，但是这里的high,似乎在说这一行的工资普遍很高，就我的认知水平而言，，，似乎不高啊。。。。

但是这个题目和另一个：It's unfair that successful sports professionals earn huge amounts of money today.的区别是否仅仅在successful的有无呢? successful professional---huge amounts of money  V.S. professionals---high?

---

It's not uncommon today that elite sporting stars earn top salaries while professionals in many other important fields such as medical care and laboratory research make much less. Clearly, these distinguished athletes and first-rate players are not overpaid.
Even though it's likely the world population will top seven billion in two years, those who are truly athletically talented will remain very rare. Preeminent sportspeople such as Kevin Garnett and Lionel Messi are so uniquely gifted that we ordinary individuals can never be trained to reach comparable levels. Thus, they are supposed to be highly paid due to the rarity of their talent.
Aside from genetics, it takes extremely hard work for sportspeople to make it to the top of their professions, regardless of their age or gender. To improve performance, dedicated athletes have been in constant training, mostly from their childhood onward, and can only enjoy a minimal amout of leisure time. Besides, they frequently have to put their bodies at risk and, even more frequently, cope with recurring pyschological strain as a consequence of unusually stiff competition. Still, these incredible people simply don't waver from their goals. In short, i would argue all their commitments and sacrifices deserve abundant rewards, of which substantial sums of money may be just a token.
Most importantly, sports celebrities' salaries are set by the market. Sports have always been one of American's favorite pastimes and we have to face the fact that now professional sports are a major source of entertainment and inspiration for Americans. Big names like Peyton Manning make fortunes by getting their fair share of the profits that come from ticket money, merchandise sales and endorsements. I really don't see anything wrong with the top sports performers getting recognized and paid dearly as top entertainers and, often, very effective motivational speakers.
Therefore, the unique talent, extraordinary willpower and immense marketing appeal that sports stars exhibit are all compelling justifications for the size of financial compensation they receive.

sherryv

sherlock1992 发表于 2013-8-26 21:25
825 「Today」
人們可以從playing sports 上learn lessons of life
Playing sports gives impo ...

批改的在附件里啦。

sherlock1992

sherryv 发表于 2013-8-27 18:35
批改的在附件里啦。

谢谢批改，我查了下maintain的主语可以是物而非必须是人。

sherryv

sherlock1992 发表于 2013-8-27 20:32
谢谢批改，我查了下maintain的主语可以是物而非必须是人。

我不是这个意思哈，你的原句You can regard them as a way to keep healthy or a habit through which maintain happy and joyful.
后半部分有一个由through which引导的定语从句修饰habit，但是你的定语从句没有主语，我说的意思就是maintain在这里缺少主语，而从逻辑推断必然不是habit自己maintain happy，而是through the habit, you maintain happy.

sherlock1992

sherryv 发表于 2013-8-27 21:04
我不是这个意思哈，你的原句You can regard them as a way to keep healthy or a habit through which ma ...

哦，原来是这个样子，多谢

Mint静默

今天的改完了~

顺便附上我的渣作
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-870505-7-1.html

laneesherry

蓝色是个人意见及建议
黄色高亮表示赞

TPO19

The reading passage explores the issue of how 'buzzer' influence the marketing?（这里是陈述句应该是句号） The professor deals with the same issue. He invites a man who is a real buzzer coming to his class and gives some different views comparing with what have been mentioned in the reading to buttress his idea.（这样的表述好赞！我之前写到这里的时候就为那个人的身份该怎么写纠结了好久）

First, the reading passage asserts that because of these buzzers have been paid, so their motivation to praise a product is hard to believe. Whereas, the buzzer refutes this idea by pointing out that it is completely contrary. For the process is the company firstly want some people to have a experience on their product and then if some positive feedback is received, these companies will hire some of these comsumers to be a buzzer. Therefore, their motivation has no problem.

Moreover, the author of the reading contends that consumers will listen to these distrust buzzers and choose products wrongly. The buzzers thinks this idea is terrible and the real situation is just the opposite. When consumers hear these buzzing, they usually hold an atitude of suspicion（很好的概括） and will ask many questions just like the price and service of this product and how long you have used to figure some details out.

Lastly, the reading passage mentions that buzzing is harmful to social relationship, resulting in less trustful among poeple. But the man disagrees with and supports his idea with the fact that it is useless for a company to hire buzzer if a bad reputation is glued to it. If people have a real experience of the product, they will open to other people, which is a common phonemenon.

In conclusion, the buzzers clearly identifies the flaws in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the reading is incorrect.

总的来说同学应该有的点已经全部听到，基本没什么问题。请继续加油！

sherlock1992

laneesherry 发表于 2013-8-28 01:56
蓝色是个人意见及建议
黄色高亮表示赞

问好应该是手滑打错了吧，谢谢批改。