4.20一战~作文求狠批~！

Endies

2013.4.3
The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity. Do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing prices of gasoline and electricity, people seem to drive cars less frequently and use less electricity. Government officers take it for granted that this way is the only effective way to save energy resource. Is it really the case? I do not quite think so. Taking no consideration of other situations, this statement appears superficially plausible. Nevertheless, there are many alternative means to help reach the goal of conserving energy.

To begin with, discovering alternative energy resource can be an effective way to solve the energy crisis as well. With extraordinary progress of science and technology, scientists are sparing no effort to find out new kind of fuel（燃料 主要指煤，石油，天然气 这里可以说renewable） energy such as hydrogen energy, wind energy and crops energy and so on. Such kinds of energy, unlike the fossil fuel which are not regenerative, can be used in cycle. A survey conducted by the energy department recently has shown that the number of automobiles burning other kind of fuel to activate has increased by ten percent, which means rare energy such as gasoline can, to some extent, be economized.

Additionally, we cannot conserve energy resource at the cost of slowing down the speed of development, thus the most essential method to be taken is to improve the efficiency of utilizing fuel. A research has investigated a hundred industrial factories, indicating that about thirty percent of the fuel is spoiled in the process of making products. Therefore, instead of increasing the price of energy resource, it is more valuable to reduce the waste of original energy source

Furthermore, even governments enhance the price of energy source, their objective of energy conservation is hardly to be realized. Since some energy source such as oil and electricity are playing an essential role (playing an role 意思就是发挥重要最用咯，没有必要加essential) in the process of manufacturing products, it is impossible for industrial factories to reduce the use of such necessary original material. As a consequence, by increasing prices of energy source may be devoid of effectiveness.

In the end, in order to save energy, raising the price of gasoline and electricity is definitely not the only effective way. Other methods such as replacing traditional fuel with new alternative fuel or improving the use ratio of resource can also be effective ways.


不是我不认真改。。实在是找不出来什么错呃。。
唯一的建议，就是两段都用research survey 有些没有说服力~ 加油！

viviyl

4.5
The public need not to pay for public transport.

When it comes to the charge of public transportation, some people assert that governments ought to undertake all the fee and residents do not need to pay for it. Should authorities really bear all the expense of public transport? I don't quite agree with that. For my part, we citizens need to afford our own part. Several points in different dimensions will be provided and explained to justify my statement.
First of all, people's paying for the public transportation is, to some extent, not paying for the traffic tools themselves but paying for the workers who provide service for us. As is universally known, governments collect tax from people in order to construct basic infrastructure projects such as public transportation, supply of water and electricity and so on. Residents indeed do not have to afford such high expense of these constructions. Nevertheless, in transportation industry, governments also need employ a large number of workers to help operate and manage the huge projects. Thus we citizens who enjoy the most benefits of public transports need pay for the service of workers.
In addition, public transport needs to charge people not only for operation but also for releasing the pressure brought by the huge population in transportation. If our public transportation would not charge any more, many important transportation industry will be dramatically influenced. Imagine people can go anywhere without money, they would certainly choose the most comfortable and fastest way like taking planes to reach their destinations. As a consequence, an enormous number of people surge to the airport, making the supervision system there almost out of function. There is no doubt that governments do not want to see such horrible scenes.
Furthermore, if the public transport does not charge anymore, some other affiliated industries such as tourism industry and logistics field will be severely impacted as well. Since nobody pay for the public transport, such industries may incur an extraordinary expenditure in order to stay in business. In the end, they probably break down, bringing an obstacle to other fields like electronic commerce which depends on the logistics to supply products.
All in all, considering all the factors I have mentioned above, I definitely oppose the statement that the public need not to pay for the public transport. People must be charged, or our society will not operate regularly.

viviyl

4.6
The next twenty years from now on, students will not use printed books any more.

In modern society, along with tremendous development of science and technology, many new objects emerge such as blog, twitter and electronic books. Since an increasing number of people use Kindle or Ipad to read books, some people hold that in the next twenty years, printed books will disappear and students will not use them any more. For my part, even electronic books are becoming more and more popular, some superiority of paper books cannot be substituted by them. Thus I do not quite agree with the statement above.
To begin with, paper books possess more collection value than electronic books. When you download an electronic book or buy it from Amazon, you to some extent do not own this book. You just receive a right to read the book. In other words, you just rent the book, which consists of electronic data. On the contrary, paper books, being as a material substance, really belong to you. You can arrange it on your bookshelf for several years. Some rare books may even improve their value after many years. My grandpa is fascinated with reading and has collected a large number of books. Decades of years past, some of the books purchased by him are so scarce that can hardly be obtained from book shops now.
In addition, printed books do more favor when readers need fuzzy retrieval and are more convenient for students who are dealing with papers. Imagine such a case, you are busy with a paper on psychology. You need to write about the differences between the theory of Freud and that of Fromm. With a kindle or a computer, you may have trouble looking back at the objective contents of the two psychologists and referring to their distinctions at the same time. Using paper books, however, you can easily retrieve what you want and conduct a contrast of their standpoints. Some opponents may disagree with me by claiming that electronic books can locate more accurately. But when it comes to fuzzy retrieval--turning back to wherever you target at, printed books provide more convenience.
Furthermore, reading printed books is more enjoyable than reading electronic books. People often read electronic books on electronic products, which produce radiation and do harm to eyes. In contrast, printed books, with its light yellow paper and special smell, can offer readers comfortable and relaxed feeling. Moreover, readers can write down their opinions and comprehends of certain words on the margin, which are more emotional and vivid than the comments typed in typeface in computer.
In the end, even with the extraordinary progress of electronic technology, the printed books would never disappear, for some of their characteristics cannot be replaced by fictitious data.

lihaolan

viviyl 发表于 2013-4-6 21:36
4.6
The next twenty years from now on, students will not use printed books any more.

4.6
The next twenty years from now on, students will not use printed books any more.

In modern society, along with tremendous development of science and technology, many new objects emerge such as blog, twitter and electronic books. Since an increasing number of people use Kindle or Ipad to read books, some people hold that in the next twenty years, printed books will disappear and students will not use them any more(anymore). For my part, even electronic books are becoming more and more popular, some superiority of paper books cannot be substituted by them. Thus I do not quite agree with the statement above.
To begin with, paper books possess more collection value than electronic books. When you download an electronic book or buy it from Amazon, you to some extent do not own this book. You just receive a right to read the book. In other words, you just rent the book, which consists of electronic data. On the contrary, paper books, being as a material substance, really belong to you. You can arrange it on your bookshelf for several years. Some rare books may even improve their value after many years. My grandpa is fascinated with reading and has collected a large number of books.（。。。题目说student。。。grandpa有点糟） Decades of years past, some of the books purchased by him are so scarce that can hardly be obtained from book shops now.
In addition, printed books do more favor when readers need fuzzy retrieval and are more convenient for students who are dealing with papers. Imagine such a case,（that） you are busy with a paper on psychology. You need to write about the differences between the theory of Freud and that of Fromm. With a kindle or a computer, you may have trouble looking back at the objective contents of the two psychologists and referring to their distinctions at the same time. Using paper books, however, you can easily retrieve what you want and conduct a contrast of their standpoints.（具体化怎么简单方便） Some opponents may disagree with me by claiming that electronic books can locate more accurately. But when it comes to fuzzy retrieval--turning back to wherever you target at, printed books provide more convenience.
Furthermore, reading printed books is more enjoyable than reading electronic books. People often read electronic books on electronic products, which produce radiation and do harm to eyes. In contrast, printed books, with its light yellow paper and special smell, can offer readers comfortable and relaxed feeling. Moreover, readers can write down their opinions and comprehends of certain words on the margin, which are more emotional and vivid than the comments typed in typeface in computer.
In the end, even with the extraordinary progress of electronic technology, the printed books would never disappear, for some of their characteristics cannot be replaced by fictitious data.

有点离题。Students没有点出来。题目要认真审！要点点student。

tsyxyss

4.5 改
The public need not to pay for public transport.

When it comes to the charge of public transportation, some people assert thatgovernments ought to undertake all the fee and ，which means residents donot need to pay for it. Should authorities really bear all the expense ofpublic transport? I don't quite agree with that. For my part, we citizens needto afford our own part. Several points in different dimensions will be providedand explained to justify my statement.

First of all, people's paying for the public transportation is, to some extent,not paying for the traffic tools vehicles themselves but paying for the workerswho provide service for us. As is universally known, governments collect taxfrom people in order to construct basic infrastructure projects such as including publictransportation, supply of water and electricity and so on.(such as 和 so on是不能连用的)  Consequently，residents indeeddo not have to afford such high expense of these constructions. NeverthelessI have to point outthe fact that, intransportation industry, governments also need employ a large number of workersto help operate and manage the huge projects. If our dwellers do not pay for publictransport, our government will undertake much heavier burden.  Thus, we citizens who enjoy the most benefitsof public transports need pay for the service of workers.

In addition, public transport needs to charge people not only for operation butalso for releasing the pressure brought by the huge population intransportation. If our public transportation would not charge any more, manyimportant transportation industry will be dramatically influenced. Imaginepeople can go anywhere without money, they would certainly choose the mostcomfortable and fastest way like taking planes to reach their destinations. Asa consequence, an enormous number of people surge to the airport, making thesupervision system there almost out of function. There is no doubt thatgovernments do not want to see such horrible scenes.（感觉分论点稍微有点没说明白，可以说分散单一客流的压力）

Furthermore, if the publictransport does not charge anymore, some other affiliated industries such astourism industry and logistics field will be severely impacted as well.Since nobody pay for the public transport, such industries may incur anextraordinary expenditure in order to stay in business. In the end, theyprobably break down, bringing an obstacle to other fields like electroniccommerce， which depends on the logistics to supply products.

All in all, considering all the factors I have mentioned above, I definitelyoppose the statement that the public need not to pay for the publictransport. People must be charged It is our people’s responsibility to pay forpublic transport, or our society will not operate regularly.
楼主水平挺不错的，加油！！晚了抱歉！！还有楼主要记得每段完事儿后要空行。

viviyl

4.11
Colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working.

Under fierce competition and heavy pressure from searching jobs, it is more difficult to find a good job than before. When employers are looking for employees, they consider lots of characters such as appearances, social skills, and creative ability. With this perception, it is highly important for school to provide a better job preparation in addition to theoretical courses with students before they start career life.

At the beginning, learning theoretical knowledge is far from sufficient. Whatever students learn from the book, they had better put them into practice, a process can be conducted during job preparation. When in preparation, students can make use of professional knowledge to assist their assignments. Taken accounting majors in my university for an example, they have learned how to fill in a transfer voucher or how to make a balance sheet from the textbook. However, if they just remember details to cope with final exams instead of filling in a voucher or balancing a real sheet, they will not be selected by interviewers when hunting jobs.

Furthermore, a job preparation can help students improve their job hunting skills in different dimensions. In job preparation, teachers and some experienced senior students will teach students how to make an appropriate resume for a certain job and tell students how to dress themselves before they are going to take a job interview. For female students, they even teach them how to make up and how to behave like an office lady.

In addition, apart from interview skills, there are some rules about work environment that students need to know, which can be taught in job preparation. Each kind of job keeps its own regulation and supervision system which employees must keep in mind in order to behave appropriately. Unlike in campus, where students are simple and equal, in working fields, relationships between employees and employers or among employees are complicated. In international corporations, for instance, workers in different status possess different rights and powers. If one intends to make a proposal, he or she ought to reflect to the direct manager instead of a senior boss. Thus, with job preparation, students are able to improve their social skills and abilities of expression which may put them in favorable position in the future job markets.

To sum up, I am definitely a proponent of this statement. Given an idea of all the advantages provided above, universities indeed offer job preparations to undergraduates before they start career life.

viviyl

4.12
Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends.
a.joining a sports team, b. participate in community activities, c. traveling.

Nobody could deny the fact that the more friends, the better. People participate in a various kinds of activities in the hope for making a large number of new friends. When it comes to the best way for a student to make new friends, I consider it may be the way of joining a sports team. Several points in different dimensions will be provided to explain and testify my argument.

To begin with, participating in a sports competition or joining a sports team, people are likely to meet peers in common hobbies and even with similar personalities. Different people possess different sports hobbies. Outgoing persons like aggressive sports games such as football and basketball while indrawn people prefer slow-pace exercises such as jogging and dance. In a certain sports team, people have a same interesting which makes it easier to know about new friends, for a common topic is an essential ingredient to the construction of a piece of friendship. Take me for an instance, when I was in university, I joined the volleyball association, in which I met my best friends in my college life. We often got together, practicing and talking about the latest volleyball competitions.

In addition, in a sports game, team members must collaborate with each other to fight against their competitors. In teamwork, people have a tendency to make new friends since they need to know each other well in order to conduct a perfect cooperation. Moreover, because of a common objective, members seem to connect more tightly with each other, and during this process a piece of friendship comes out. In the TVs we usually see some famous athletes have a lot of friends who are also from the same sports team.

Furthermore, apart from cooperation, there is also competition in a sports team. Some people may points out that competition is not helpful to make new friends. For my part, however, competition, to some extent, can strengthen the relationship between the competitors. As an old saying goes, no discord, no concord. Sometimes it is a fierce debate or sports games that make two unfamiliar individuals know each other and even become good friends.

All in all, there are plentiful ways to make new friends such as taking community activities or travelling, but when considering the traits of cooperative and competitive, I think the way of joining sports team can be the best choice.

aoyun6334358

改的晚了点见谅

corneliaflower

Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends.
a.joining a sports team, b. participate in community activities, c. traveling.

Nobody could deny the fact that the more friends, the better(感觉没说完的样子，只用better这样表达不是貌似很好哦）. People participate in a various kinds of activities in the hope for making a large number of new friends. When it comes to the best way for a student to make new friends, I consider it may be the way of joining a sports team. Several points in different dimensions will be provided to explain and testify my argument.

To begin with, participating in a sports competition or joining a sports team, people are likely to meet peers in common hobbies and even with similar personalities. Different people possess different sports hobbies. Outgoing persons like aggressive sports games such as football and basketball while indrawn people prefer slow-pace exercises such as jogging and dance. In a certain sports team, people have a same interesting（interests) which makes it easier to know about new friends, for a common topic is an essential ingredient to the construction of a piece of friendship（不确定是否有这样的搭配，如果没有就直接说friendship吧）. Take(不能直接动词开头吧，不是祈使句呀） me for an instance, when I was in university, I joined the volleyball association, in which I met my best friends in my college life. We often got together, practicing and talking about the latest volleyball competitions.

In addition, in a sports game, team members must collaborate with each other to fight against their competitors. In teamwork, people have a tendency to make new friends since they need to know each other well in order to conduct a perfect cooperation. Moreover, because of a common objective, members seem to connect more tightly with each other, and during this process a piece of friendship comes out. In the TVs we usually see some famous athletes have a lot of friends who are also from the same sports team.

Furthermore, apart from cooperation, there is also competition in a sports team. Some people may points out that competition is not helpful to make new friends. For my part, however, competition, to some extent, can strengthen the relationship between the competitors. As an old saying goes, no discord, no concord. Sometimes it is a fierce debate or sports games that make two unfamiliar individuals know each other and even become good friends.

All in all, there are plentiful ways to make new friends such as taking community activities or travelling, but when considering the traits of cooperative and competitive, I think the way of joining sports team can be the best choice.

整体什么的都不错，就是感觉第三段讲cooperation的那个没有完全表达清楚你的意思。
语言方面用词和句式也都挺好的。

蓝色是精彩的句子~~红色是我觉得有问题的~~

corneliaflower

对了  我也是4.20一战啊~~ 一起加油啊！！！