Vanessa的作文贴

vanessa923

1月12 真心是我最后一次刷T。

不成功，便成仁！

ETS，我要把你踩脚下！

然后顺利去米国找我家圆圆！！！！！！！！！

考了两次都是25，很想知道怎样才能到28捏，高手多多指点！！！！！！

批改的同学，你就使劲批吧！

套用一句台词就是：如果批，请狠批！！

大家一起加油哈！

vanessa923

明天上午期末考试，考完就写作文！

批改的同学费心了，我明天下午就贴上来！

见谅！

brace1016

你的作文是在这里贴的吧。到时候我来这里改哦。我的我的贴在里。我晚上吧19号的独立补上哦。辛苦了哦。

vanessa923

Brace, 不好意思，交晚了！





Asked about in what kind of circumstance you would like to work, different people hold different views. However, compared with working at home, I prefer to work in an company. Here are my reasons.



To begin with, I can be more motivated under the influence of fast-paced company. You may say it is terrible to have a strict boss keeping his eyes on you all the time and the air seems to tighten you up. However, you can not deny that the pushing and encouragement of your boss are like unknown string, which guide you to be more motivated and to finish your tasks orderly on time. On the contrary, if I work at home and nobody is willing to push me, I would wind up with eating hamburger, drinking Coke-cola and lounging in my comfortable sofa.



In addition, the company provides me with a competitive and cooperative environment, which definitely helps adapt myself better to the company. In the company, once I run into trouble, I can gather a group talking and brainstorm to figure out better ways to solve my current problems. Besides, during the free lunch time, I can gossip and chat with my colleagues, handing a cup o f coffee. Yes, maybe you will say nowadays most white collars suffer from insomnia and other mental troubles. However, if I strike a balance between my work and leisure life, life will be enriched and complete under this competitive environment.



I concede that working at home has its merits. Firstly, you can save the precious time you took from home to the company and you will never put up with the terrible traffic conjestions.  Moreover, you can work in a more relaxed way and allocate your time flexibly. But considering the efficiency and motivation I will get in the company, I still choose to work in the company.



To sum up, even though working at home bring me convenience and more leisure time, it fades when compared with the motivation and fulfilment I get while working in a company.

brace1016

Asked about in what kind of circumstance you would like to work, different people hold different views. However, compared with working at home, I prefer to work in an (用a吧)company. Here are my reasons.

（开头asked这里感觉很不顺，但是我就是不知道怎么表达才地道，可以这样说吗？When asked what kind of circumstance to work, people hold different views ）compared with 引导的比较，在语法中要比较对象要一致哦，后面的主语是I，前面的working at home 不一致。GMAT中有这种要求哦



To begin with, I can be more motivated under the influence of fast-paced company. You may say it is terrible to have a strict boss keeping his eyes on you all the time and the air seems to tighten you up. However, you can not deny that the pushing（什么意思不是很明白） and encouragement of your boss are like unknown string, which guide you to be more motivated and to finish your tasks orderly on time. On the contrary, if I work at home and nobody is willing to push me, I would wind up with eating hamburger, drinking Coke-cola and lounging in my comfortable sofa.



In addition, the company provides me with a competitive and cooperative environment, which definitely helps adapt myself better to the company. In the company, once I run into trouble, I can gather a group talking(这里想表达的是什么意思？) and brainstorm to figure out better ways to solve my current problems. Besides, during the free lunch time, I can gossip and chat with my colleagues, handing a cup o f coffee. Yes, maybe you will say nowadays most white collars suffer from insomnia and other mental troubles. However, if I strike a balance between my work and leisure life, life will be enriched and complete under this competitive environment.（这里怎么到了失眠来了。这段的核心不是写在公司提供的环境更加好，所以你很容易融入进去吗）



I concede that working at home has its merits. Firstly, you can save the precious time you took from home to the company and you will never put up with the terrible traffic conjestions.（traffic congestion） Moreover, you can work in a more relaxed way and allocate your time flexibly. But considering the efficiency and motivation I will get in the company, I still choose to work in the company.



To sum up, even though working at home bring(s) me convenience and more leisure time, it fades when compared with the motivation and fulfilment（这个想表达的是什么成就吗） I get while working in a company.


应该是今天你匆忙赶出来的。没有写完成的感觉。举例和论证感觉不明显。第二段里面的核心我读不出来。
这个文章找个时间重新写一下哦。

brace1016

我都不知道怎么把那些在word中颜色加入这里。我在word用的颜色复制过来全部不见了。请教下怎么改好吗？

lillian馨

vanessa亲， 我改你20号的。写好了消息我呀！  同样是1月12号最后一战了，作文也老是写不好。共同加油，打到ETS！！！

vanessa923

唉，好久没写了，真是没感觉，憋了好久。同伴狠狠批。结尾是真心不知道怎么写了。

Helping others can bring happiness and fulfilment to us. And most people will choose to give a hand to those who are in need. When asked about whether young people today are more likely to help others than young people in the past, different people hold different views. As for me, I would say young people today are less willing to help others for the following  reasons.


The first reason concerns the number of children in a single family at different periods. Take a glance of the 1960s and 1970s,  it is common for a family to bear 5 to 7 children. With so many children to take care of, parents would teach the kids to care and  love each other. So kids would learn to help and think for others at an early age. However, because of the one-child policy, young people nowadays tend to grow up as the only child in a family. Spoiled and pampered, these young people would think more of themselves and less of others. As a result, they are more self-centered and less others-oriented.



In addition, we can not ignore the influence of high-edged modern technologies. You can hardly find a young people obsessed with computer games like Crossfire and making-friends web such as Twitter and Facebook. Owning to these modern inventions, they put all their heart to the virtual reality. Ironically, they find themselves more familiar with the e-pals than their neighbourhoods. So young people today are reluctant to go out and meet new friends, let alone helping others.



Some people claim that young people today receive higher education and they are supposed to know the importance of helping others. I concede that  some young people, indeed, volunteer to help those who are poor and homeless and commit to build a more harmonious society.  But compared with young people in the past, most young people indeed need more compassion and  service spirit.

vanessa923

你直接把要批改的文章复制，然后就在“回复”后的这个页面里操作就行。

嗯，好好照顾自己。加油。

vanessa923

[quote]
我都不知道怎么把那些在word中颜色加入这里。我在word用的颜色复制过来全部不见了。请教下怎么改好吗？

-- by 会员 brace1016 (2012/12/20 21:24:48)

[/quote

你直接把要批改的文章复制，然后就在“回复”后的这个页面里操作就行。

嗯，好好照顾自己。加油。