[写作小分队]crystal的作文贴，求建议，求进步

未知未来2

The reading passage casts light on the negative effects of private ownership of rare and important fossils. The professor covers the same topic, however, with a totally opposite attitude that the benefits of this phenomenon overweigh the disadvantages. Likewise, the professor also utilizes three distinctive points to justify his (her 女教授吧)perspective.

First and foremost, the professor refuses that idea in the reading that the public suffers because of less exposion（exposure） to these fossils. On the contrary, the professor asserts that private ownership of these fossils make(-s 主语是单数) it possible for some level public institutions like public schools to own them and show them to the public. Cleary, the professor's idea is incompatible with that of the reading.

Furthermore, as well defined as the points in the reading that scientists are likely to lose access to some of the most important fossils and thereby miss out on potentially crucial discoveries about extinct life forms. The professor challenges the final down by arguing that before the private owners decide to buy fossils, they will pass them on to the hands of scientists to test the value of them. Instead fewer chances to touch these fossils, the scientists can have the priority and chances to see them. The professor's statement doubts the correctness of the point in the reading.

In addition, the reading also states that commercial fossil collectors often destroy valuable scientific evidence associated with the fossils they unearth because of the limited knowledge concerning fossils. However, the professor's point once again contradicts with the reading'. He （she） contends that comparing with the bad effects of keeping a lot of fossils unearthed and unknown to our world, such damage is not worth mention. Evidently, the credibility of the point in the reading begins to shrink.

To sum up, the professor discerns the drawbacks of the points in the reading and convincingly reveals that the fundamental arguments in the reading need to be reexamined with close scrutiny.

楼主词用的很赞呢，有很多很好的小词。只有一个小建议，可以少写一点阅读里面的内容，如果太多就把听力的内容比下去了~~个人意见哈，学习啦！

Crystal的秋天

Perhaps no issue in this worldis as significant to people as success. Despite various responses people mayhave concerning this issue regarding that whether people should be like othersor be different from everyone else. The response in the China Daily has aboilerplate answer: successful people are always showing outstanding behaviorsin their young age. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that in order tosucceed people should be different from others.


First and foremost, people whoare different are much easier to be noticed by others. As my brother'sexperience aptly illustrates, he, who got bad academic performance inuniversity, is not a traditionally good student in China. Quitting hisuniversity life, he had to find a job. However, it seemed that he failed at thetime being in surrounding people's eyes. However, no one called up his unique advantageof marketing skills. Since he was young, he has been very active in analyzingpeople's reaction during sales, both from the angle of salespersons andcustomers and then making a conclusion about how to satisfy customers' demandin different ways .For a young man, it is surely valuable to master the skillswhich catch the sight of his boss to recruit him into a big PR company in ourcountry and have an outstanding working performance. At present, he owns hisown company. Clearly, successful people should at least have a different pointfrom others.


Moreover, another point worthbeing mentioned is that people who are different from others are more creative,which is very important in certain field. For instance, the Bill Gates, afamous businessman in our world always thought out of diverse and specialsolutions to solve problems when he operated his company. Just the creativityhelps him to make a big success in this era.


In addition, people who aredifferent from others are intelligent enough to avoid imitation others, which maylead to priority problem. For example, a advertisement company in our provincecollapsed due to the reason that one designer in this company copied a plan ofthe other company, in the end, not only failing to earn profits, but alsocausing the whole company and himself to lose the reputation in this field. Thelesson from the case is that keep different is essential to people, especially insome kind of careers.


After ruminating over all the three factors, it is of advantageous for us to make a decision alone. I would like to note that in order tobecome success people should avoid imitating others, but stay different fromothers.

未知未来2

Perhaps no issue in this world is as significant to people as success. Despite various responses people may have concerning this issue regarding that whether people should be like others or be different from everyone else. The response in the China Daily has a boilerplate answer: successful people are always showing outstanding behaviors in their young age. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that in order to succeed people should be different from others.


First and foremost, people who are different are much easier to be noticed by others. As my brother's experience aptly illustrates, he, who got bad academic performance in university, is not a traditionally good student in China. Quitting his university life, he had to find a job. However,(后面还有一个however, 这个不要吧) it seemed that he failed at the time being in surrounding people's eyes. However, no one called up his unique advantage of marketing skills. Since he was young, he has been very active in analyzing people's reaction during sales, both from the angle of salespersons and customers and then making a conclusion about how to satisfy customers' demand in different ways .For a young man, it is surely valuable to master the skills which catch（caught） the sight of his boss to recruit him into a big PR company in our country and have（had） an outstanding working performance(这句是不是应该用过去式，应该后面写的是现在). At present, he owns his own company. Clearly, successful people should at least have a different point from others.


Moreover, another point worth being mentioned is that people who are different from others are more creative, which is very important in certain field. For instance, the Bill Gates, a famous businessman in our world always thought out of diverse and special solutions to solve problems when he operated his company. Just the creativity helps him to make a big success in this era.


In addition, people who are different from others are intelligent enough to avoid imitation others(感觉应该是avoid imitating others 或者avoid imitation，), which may lead to priority problem. For example, a (an) advertisement company in our province collapsed due to the reason that one designer in this company copied a plan of the other company, in the end, not only failing to earn profits, but also causing the whole company and himself to lose the reputation in this field.（这句话好长，可以分成两句写） The lesson from the case is that keep different is essential to people, especially in some kind of careers.


After ruminating over all the three factors, it is of advantageous (is of + n= adj 这里应该用个名词) for us to make a decision alone. I would like to note that in order to become success（应该用adj. successful） people should avoid imitating others, but stay different from others.

楼主的例子都很充实，句子变化也很多，只有一个建议 貌似介绍人的时候 人，插入语，。。。。。。的句式有点多~~可以换成 as a famous businessman in our world, Bill Gates… 或者别的.    学习了！

Crystal的秋天

The reading passage casts light on the whether the environmental pollutionor attacks by predators have the more possibilities that lead to the decline ofsea otter population. The professor covers the same topic, however, with a totallyopposite attitude. According to the professor, decline of sea otter populationsare more likely caused by being attacked by predators. Likewise, the professor utilizes three distinctivepoints to justify his perspectives.

First and foremost, theprofessor refutes the idea in the reading passage that the industrial chemicalstested in the water samples could contribute to the otters' death. On thecontrary, the professor contends that we cannot make this conclusion because nodead otters were found on the beaches. To be specific, if the otters were killed by pollution, they should bevisible in the beaches. While, thephenomenon can be explained by predators attack theory. Evidently, theprofessor's idea is incompatible with the reading passage.

Moreover, as well defined as the point made in thereading, the professor once again contradicts with the reading by assertingthat the because of the human hunters, otters' predators have to change theirdiet. Without enough large animals toeat, they will turn to small animals. That's why smallanimals are also declining. Having taken the human’s intervention intoconsideration, the professor doubts the correctness of the reading passage.

In addition, the reading passage points out that unevenpattern of otter decline are induced by the different population distribution.The professor challenges the final down. He asserts that some locations are notaccessible to their predators. As a result, otters in those places do not showa decline. Clearly, the credibility of the conception in the reading begins toshrink when thinking about the characteristic of both otters and theirpredators pinpointed by the professor.  

To sum up, the professor precisely discerns the drawbacksof the reading and convincingly reveals that the fundamental argument in thereading needs to be reexamined with close scrutiny.

小滋滋

The reading passage casts light on the issue whether the environmental pollutionor attacks by predators have has the more possibilities that lead to the decline ofsea otter population. The professor covers the same topic, however, with a totallyopposite attitude. According to the professor, decline of sea otter populationsare is more likely caused by being attacked by predators. Likewise, the professor utilizes three distinctivepoints to justify his perspectives.

First and foremost, theprofessor refutes the idea in the reading passage that the industrial chemicalstested in the water samples could contribute to the otters' death. On thecontrary, the professor contends that we cannot make this conclusion because no dead otters were found on the beaches. To be specific, if the otters were killed by pollution, they should bevisible in the beaches. While, thephenomenon can be explained by predators attack theory. Evidently, theprofessor's idea is incompatible with the reading passage.

Moreover, as well defined as the point made in thereading, the professor once again contradicts with the reading by assertingthat the because of the human hunters, otters' predators have to change theirdiet. Without enough large animals toeat, they will turn to small animals. That's (the reason) why smallanimals are also declining. Having taken the human’s intervention intoconsideration, the professor doubts the correctness of the reading passage.

In addition, the reading passage points out that unevenpattern of otter decline are induced by the different population distribution.The professor challenges the final down. He asserts that some locations are notaccessible to their predators. As a result, the number of otters in those places do not show(otter不能发出show的动作) a decline. Clearly, the credibility of the conception in the reading begins toshrink when thinking about the characteristic of both otters and theirpredators pinpointed by the professor.  

To sum up, the professor precisely discerns the drawbacksof the reading and convincingly reveals that the fundamental argument in thereading needs to be reexamined with close scrutiny.

总体很好啦，注意一下一些语法和句法的用法就好啦…@@