beiyezi 的作文贴，虚心求教~~~谢谢~

beiyezi

谢谢批改，也不算折中吧，只是先让步了一下，还是比较偏向无法解决的，       小错误不可饶恕啊~一定要注意！！

昨天的今天才看是不是有点晚？？？一定不晚对不对


Can we solve the most urgent problems in today’sworld in our lifetime? In a sense, I tend to agree with the statement sincelifetime seems to be long enough for us to solve several immediate problemsquickly. However, the statement begs question by overlooking how difficultquite a few issues we are confronted with could be.（开头真好~羡慕+学习） In my point of view, whether the issues canbe solved depends(用吗？) notonly on how much time we devoted, but also on otherfactors. Some of the most serious problems will remain unsolved in lifetime.  

First of all, it is an indisputable fact thatplenty of problems are just piece of cakes for human to attach today, due tothe dramatic changes that have been brought by the high-tech products likecomputers and potent intelligence owned by human. Consider SARS witch(which) is a type of lethal disease that could have causeddestructive event back in 17 century under the poor medical condition. Thediffusion of virus in the 13contries throughout the world in the spring of 2003simply got controlled by the medicine sciences (scientists?) made. Admittedly, the technology we had has revolutionizedthe way we lived, and we have benefited greatly from these technology(the technology/ these technologies).

Yet, there remain several issues that areuncontrollable by humans. For human’s society, the most exigent matter betweencountries is the confliction(conflict?两个词有什么区别吗？) of interestlike energy, recourses or （and） land. For thousands of years, the wars and the battles indicate thatthe peace is an unachievable goal though human work so hard on it and the confliction can not be solved (conflict用solve？还是resolve或者别的什么)inshort-term.
   
Equally importantly, for the nature, globalenvironmental problem is becoming a major concern currently. Gradual waterpollution, continuous global warming, and faster species extinction willdefinitely harm human beings fundamentally in the future, or merely the nearfuture to some extent. Further more, governments cannot afford to give upbeneficial industries in order to stop the self-destroy activities because theaction could cause innumerable people workless. Evidently, we cannot solve the environmentalproblem in lifetime.  

By way of conclusion, the challenges presented bybooming society are severe and complex. Although they are by no meansinsurmountable, it is highly unlikely that they will be resolved in theforeseeable future.

喜欢你形容词和副词的使用~打字有小错误，多注意就好啦~文章的观点算是折中是吧~这种我就不是很会写~所以我也不是很会评价，就只是指出了几点小错误~加油

-- by 会员 xeyyxzty (2012/9/7 21:04:00)

E月羽

Some people think university professors should spend more time doing research while others
think they should spend more time educating students. What is your view?

Whether university professors should focus on the education of students or researches? It might be tempting to support professors pour more time on the researches since the fact that numerous technology that have brought progress of society are basis on researches. However, a far more compelling argument can be made that the education is a major factor that relates to the future of a nation. (开头不错)
（一般承接放句尾吧？）
Admittedly, it is an indisputable fact that the researches play a crucial role at the booming society ranging from culture to nature. On the one hand, for the human world, it is impossible to learn about history without studying on the remains of ancestors. Further, countless technology achievements such as the spaceships that allow our human take a leap from earth to have a better glance on space are brought by greatly researching on space and tools that available to take people to the university. On the other hand, for the world of nature, exploring the every element of habitat such as soil, air, water, and plants is the major assess to better attach the conditions of the surroundings, and as a result reveal a fascinating world to us. （知道你是为了突出科技的重要性，但是感觉这段叙述有点散，可以再结尾加一个总结。Such as: all of this achievement bound to relevant to the process of research）

Nevertheless, it is an undeniable fact that education is one of the most significant(significant 的使用感觉怪怪的 ，我觉得可以改用crucial) foundations of a country’s development. So important education is that governments offer billions of dollars as financial incentives to support education yearly. Clearly, professors’ poor attention pay on teaching is responsible to the sub-standard academic achievement of students that might constitute（lead 可能会好些） a potential risk in our future. Since knowledge is the fundament of research and the research is the way for people to discover and create which lead to the development of the world as well as the education is the way to popularize the knowledge, it is inevitable that professors have to put teaching on the first place over research.

Moreover, neither research nor teaching can be given up by professors. Thus, it is vital to find a balance between them. Nowadays, there are quite a few brilliant young people sitting is in the classroom who might be the next Isaac Newton and they can not only learn things quickly but also are able to propose some amazing idea that may helpful in professors’ study field. So research and teaching for a professor are not completely conflict and may produce positive mutual effect.

By way of conclusion（感觉有点中式英语，）, I believe that education is equally important as research; the real issue for professors is to find the balance of them and develop a effective way that can benefit both.
 
感觉观点太分散，不突出，还有it is引导的句型太多了点。遣词造句还蛮好

beiyezi

谢谢修改，  

Some people think university professors should spend more time doing research while others
think they should spend more time educating students. What is your view?

Whether university professors should focus on the education of students or researches? It might be tempting to support professors pour more time on the researches since the fact that numerous technology that have brought progress of society are basis on researches. However, a far more compelling argument can be made that the education is a major factor that relates to the future of a nation. (开头不错)
（一般承接放句尾吧？）
Admittedly, it is an indisputable fact that the researches play a crucial role at the booming society ranging from culture to nature. On the one hand, for the human world, it is impossible to learn about history without studying on the remains of ancestors. Further, countless technology achievements such as the spaceships that allow our human take a leap from earth to have a better glance on space are brought by greatly researching on space and tools that available to take people to the university. On the other hand, for the world of nature, exploring the every element of habitat such as soil, air, water, and plants is the major assess to better attach the conditions of the surroundings, and as a result reveal a fascinating world to us. （知道你是为了突出科技的重要性，但是感觉这段叙述有点散，可以再结尾加一个总结。Such as: all of this achievement bound to relevant to the process of research）

Nevertheless, it is an undeniable fact that education is one of the most significant(significant 的使用感觉怪怪的 ，我觉得可以改用crucial) foundations of a country’s development. So important education is that governments offer billions of dollars as financial incentives to support education yearly. Clearly, professors’ poor attention pay on teaching is responsible to the sub-standard academic achievement of students that might constitute（lead 可能会好些） a potential risk in our future. Since knowledge is the fundament of research and the research is the way for people to discover and create which lead to the development of the world as well as the education is the way to popularize the knowledge, it is inevitable that professors have to put teaching on the first place over research.

Moreover, neither research nor teaching can be given up by professors. Thus, it is vital to find a balance between them. Nowadays, there are quite a few brilliant young people sitting is in the classroom who might be the next Isaac Newton and they can not only learn things quickly but also are able to propose some amazing idea that may helpful in professors’ study field. So research and teaching for a professor are not completely conflict and may produce positive mutual effect.

By way of conclusion（感觉有点中式英语，）, I believe that education is equally important as research; the real issue for professors is to find the balance of them and develop a effective way that can benefit both.
 
感觉观点太分散，不突出，还有it is引导的句型太多了点。遣词造句还蛮好

-- by 会员 E月羽 (2012/9/8 17:26:09)

beiyezi

It is much easier forpeople to achieve success without their family members’ help now than in thepast.




Is it much easier to achieve individual success without family help in the modern days than in the past? In a sense, it might be tempting to support the statement since there are countless opportunities coming with booming society. However, the idea clearly begs the question by overlooking the fact that no matter in what time period, there are always numerous obstacles stand in the way of success. Regardless of era, success is something that always be attained through hard work, preparation, and a little luck.

Admittedly, people who live in ancient times are limited by the social system and poor conditions of the life. For the ancient women, because of the traditional rules, they were force to spend their whole life on staying in the houses and never have the opportunities to go outside of the houses. How can they achieve something successfully without any chances to get education or step into the society and contact with others? Further, in the ancient times of China, the caste system relegated people to various social classes even before they were born. Those who born in ruling or noble families were bred for success while those born in laborer and untouchable castes were forced in lives of manual labor and poverty. In reality, of course, there still have some slight chances for poor ancient individuals to be successful such as becoming a famous poet or taking the exam to become an officer if they pay enough hard work and show significant talent.

On the other hand, for the people live in the whole new era, there is not more caste system or limitation of women standing in the way of success. However, with the increasing population which counters the increasing number of opportunities available for most of the people, there are still no that much chances offer to people as it seems to be. Moreover, without the help of family members, every one is even and there is only hard working can help people. So it is no easier in today than past for people to succeed.

Regardless of what time period a person live, there will always be inevitable barriers prevent people from their goals. This is a fact of life that does not change over time. Whether on live in the past or in the present, success continues to be a battle against these obstacles. Though the challenges change over time, things have not gotten any easier. Success still extremely rare and must be accomplished through diligence, ambition and luck.

beiyezi

The reading passage and the professor are debating about whether the science of archaeology and studying old cultural artifacts was faced with harsh issues in Britain. The reading passage lists three problems and the lecturer states that all of the issues are already solved by the new strategy in Britain.

Firstly, the professor claims that the difficulty that mentions in the reading passage about valuable artifacts were lost because of construction projects is not matter a problem because of  the strategy. The construction projects can not be started without the permit of the experts. The experts have to exam the sites and decide whether the site is valuable and have to be preserved. If the sites are valuable, the company can not start the projects and either constructing around the sites or wait until the sites are be perfectly documented.

Secondly, the professor suggests that the financial support for archaeological research is pay by construction companies and it is definitely can help scientists study far more sites than before. The way of paying the financial incentive completely solves the problem that reading passage proposes.

Finally, the professor says that companies that paying the researches are also pay jobs to people which can help people who want to become an archaeologist. The companies can even support the researchers by offer them the helps through drawing plans for them to get the precise the data and publish the works for them.

beiyezi

9月12日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

Whether we should be patience or take action immediately is a decision people usually have to make when it comes to choice or timing. In a sense, patience indeed is a good strategy when we face a situation like fishing or learning. Yet, nowadays, with the incredible speed of changes occur on every field of life, being patient sometimes lead to lose our opportunities.

Admittedly, in some case, people can be fighting a losing battle without patience. For instant, teachers only who are capable to deal with students with patience have the possibility to become excellent teachers. Further, since the up date of the products are usually in a amazing rate today, once the first products are replaced by the new one, the first products lose their value and become cheaper although the function or quality are not that different between the two kinds of the products.  Only people who are willing to wait for a while after I pads come to the market until the I pad 2produced and then to buy the I pads can purchase the thing they want with a lower price.  

Nevertheless, life is full of changes and opportunities fleet even faster than the time does. Thus, the point is either you take the actions and get the chances or you lose it forever. Month ago, I wanted to buy an apartment near the center of the city. But I did not bought the apartment at once I visited it even thought I really love the place ,because I want to visit more houses and compare them all then I can make the decision. Ironically, when I finally put my foot down and decided to purchase the apartment I first visited, the place has became a house of Chinese food. Even new I still regret that I did not buy the house.

In summary, chances have not patience to wait until individuals make the decision and come to get them. In many cases, patience is a unpalatable rule for the successful. But, every rule has exceptions. When the time is right, just take the leap and act immediately. Don’t wait up.

beiyezi

9月13日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges or Universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start workin

Whether the Colleges or Universities need to offer more courses to students for the preparation of the future? In a sense, it seems necessary that Colleges and Universities adopt this idea since the competition outside the campus are increasingly cruel and taking more course can help students to require more knowledge before they graduate. Yet, more courses also could lead to some negative affection like more pressure for students.

Admittedly, the more knowledge the graduate students own the larger the possibility that the students can get the job they desired. There is a reason people go to the graduate school and pursuing the higher degree and academic achievement. Clearly, the harsh battles for the competition of the limited favorable jobs push individuals to take more courses to serve as the preparation of the job hunting. On the past, people with degree of doctor are extremely rare. But now, it can not be describe as rare anymore. Further, the companies would rather choose the graduate students with higher degrees than the one with lower degree.

Nevertheless, can taking more courses actually release the pressure of job hunting? Taking more courses means more exams and increasing time to study. With the already heavy assignment of the study, students can not afford to more classes. Evidently, the method of offering more courses to students can not help students be batter prepare but work toward the contrast way and leave students more baggage to deal with. Moreover, the opportunities of the occupations are limited and rare for graduate students; with the more time to study and delay the graduate date may be result in losing the chances of taking the jobs.

Equally important, the ability such as communication skill or leadership of students is also the indispensable aspect that necessary for many jobs. But, the students are hardly able to development these skill through taking more courses.

In summary, although more courses offer students more advantages in the aspect of knowledge, the more stress on the study and the missing opportunity of the jobs are counterproductive to the effect of more knowledge.

bonfin

乃效率真的太高了！！连明天的都写了~~~

9.11 综合
The reading passage and the professor are debating about whether the science of archaeology and studying old cultural artifacts was faced with harsh issues in Britain. The reading passage lists three problems and the lecturer states that all of the issues are already solved by the new strategy in Britain.

Firstly, the professor claims that the difficulty that mentions（is mentioned  因为我第一篇综合写过states，被童鞋改为is stated，我后来也觉得应该是被动吧） in the reading passage about valuable artifacts were lost because of construction projects is not matter a problem because of the strategy. （把第二个because of换为owing to之类的吧，一个句子出现两次的说。）The construction projects can not（注意can't=cannot, can not和cannot还是有区别的） be started without the permit（permission） of the experts. The experts have to exam the sites and decide whether the site is valuable and have to be preserved. If the sites are valuable, the company can not start the projects and either constructing around the sites or wait until the sites are be perfectly documented.（start the projects, either constructing around the sites or waiting until the sites are pefectly documented.  建议修改成这样，either...or...后面保持平行，而且多了个be）

Secondly, the professor suggests that the financial support for archaeological research is pay（paid） by construction companies and it is（和后面的can任选一个） definitely can help scientists study far more sites than before. The way of paying the financial incentive completely solves the problem that reading passage proposes.

Finally, the professor says that companies that （are） paying the researches are also pay（paying） jobs to people which can help people who want to become an archaeologist. The companies can even support the researchers by offer them the helps through drawing plans for them（第一个them是指考古学家吧？第二个呢？这样容易混乱额。注意制定计划的是考古学家。）to get the precise the data and publish the works for them.

beiyezi

谢谢修改，

乃效率真的太高了！！连明天的都写了~~~

9.11 综合
The reading passage and the professor are debating about whether the science of archaeology and studying old cultural artifacts was faced with harsh issues in Britain. The reading passage lists three problems and the lecturer states that all of the issues are already solved by the new strategy in Britain.

Firstly, the professor claims that the difficulty that mentions（is mentioned  因为我第一篇综合写过states，被童鞋改为is stated，我后来也觉得应该是被动吧） in the reading passage about valuable artifacts were lost because of construction projects is not matter a problem because of the strategy. （把第二个because of换为owing to之类的吧，一个句子出现两次的说。）The construction projects can not（注意can't=cannot, can not和cannot还是有区别的） be started without the permit（permission） of the experts. The experts have to exam the sites and decide whether the site is valuable and have to be preserved. If the sites are valuable, the company can not start the projects and either constructing around the sites or wait until the sites are be perfectly documented.（start the projects, either constructing around the sites or waiting until the sites are pefectly documented.  建议修改成这样，either...or...后面保持平行，而且多了个be）

Secondly, the professor suggests that the financial support for archaeological research is pay（paid） by construction companies and it is（和后面的can任选一个） definitely can help scientists study far more sites than before. The way of paying the financial incentive completely solves the problem that reading passage proposes.

Finally, the professor says that companies that （are） paying the researches are also pay（paying） jobs to people which can help people who want to become an archaeologist. The companies can even support the researchers by offer them the helps through drawing plans for them（第一个them是指考古学家吧？第二个呢？这样容易混乱额。注意制定计划的是考古学家。）to get the precise the data and publish the works for them.

-- by 会员 bonfin (2012/9/12 0:00:44)

steigen

Is it much easier to achieve individual success without family help in the modern days than in the past?(我觉得这个句子能不能稍微该写下呢？） In a sense, it might be tempting to support the statement since there are countless opportunities coming with booming society. However, the idea clearly begs the question by overlooking the fact that no matter in what time period, there are always numerous obstacles stand in the way of success. Regardless of era, success is something that always be attained through hard work, preparation, and a little luck.（开头真的非常好，尤其是后几句，逻辑很清晰，语言也很流畅，很是受用啊~）

Admittedly, people who live in ancient times are limited by the social system and poor conditions of the life. For the ancient women, because of the traditional rules, they were force to spend their whole life on staying in the houses and never have the opportunities to go outside of the houses. How can they achieve something successfully without any chances to get education or step into the society and contact with others? Further, in the ancient times of China, the caste system relegated people to various social classes even before they were born. Those who born in ruling or noble families were bred for success while those born in laborer and untouchable castes were forced in lives of manual labor and poverty. In reality, of course, there still have some slight chances for poor ancient individuals to be successful such as becoming a famous poet or taking the exam to become an officer if they pay enough hard work（不知道pay这个词用的好不好，也可以试下have enough diligence) and show significant talent.（最后要是由一个总结性的语句就更好了,过去和现在的差别到底在哪里了）

On the other hand, for the people live in the whole new era, there is not more caste system or limitation of women standing in the way of success. However, with the increasing population which counters the increasing(两个increasing有重复感，可以试下incremental) number of opportunities available for most of the people, there are still no that(读起来好怪） much chances offer to people as it seems to be. Moreover, without the help of family members, every one is even and there is only hard working can help people.（这个句子不太好 the only impetus through the success is striving for oneself） So it is no easier in today than past for people to succeed.

Regardless of what time period a person live, there will always be inevitable barriers prevent people from their goals. This is a fact of life that does not change over time. Whether on live in the past or in the present, success continues to be a battle against these obstacles. Though the challenges change over time, things have not gotten any easier. Success still extremely rare and must be accomplished through diligence, ambition and luck.

先来说下，语言很流畅，句子以及段落间的逻辑关系也处理的很好。
有些语言可能再去润色一下就更好了。真的是一篇很好的作文。
学习了~~  有什么说的不对的地方，一起讨论讨论哈~