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Vance童鞋的作业贴,求批改,求虐,求喷

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41#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-6 16:15:14 | 只看该作者

8月6日(综合)

TPO:4
In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about whether dinosaurs are endotherms or not. The professor argues thatthe information provided in the reading material cannot prove dinosaurs areendotherms. However, the reading contends that dinosaurs are endothermos. Theprofessor's lecture cast doubt on the reading with several points.

The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that fossils found in polar region cannot indicatethe dinosaur are endothermos. According to the professor, the temperature inpolar regions at that time is warm enough to allow not endothermous animals tostay. Besides, during the cold period in those distracts, animals can emigrateto warmer regions or become hibernated. It differs from the reading, in thatthe reading states only animals can maintain a constant temperature above thatof the surrounding environment can live in such regions.

Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that the position of the legs cannot prove thedinosaur are endotherms. The professor claims that the legs, beneath the dinosaur'sbody, is a function to support their heavy weight rather than is acharacteristic of endothermous animals. However, the reading professes onlymodern endotherms have the legs underneath their bodies, therefore, it isobvious that dinosaurs are endotherms.

Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, dinosaurs do have Haversian canals in their bonestructure but they also contain the growth rings which can indicate thedinosaur is not endothermous animals. In other words, the growth rings canreveal the period of the growth of the dinosaur. The growth rings show thatdinosaurs growing slowly followed by growing rapidly. As a result, it is apattern of not endothermous animals. This directly contradicts what the readingpassage indicates that Haversian canals which is a structure in the bones ofendotherms also exist in dinosaurs. Enhace, dinosaurs are endothermous animals.
42#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-6 21:23:19 | 只看该作者

8月6日

TOPIC:high school students should take a course on basic economics
Currently, economy plays an increasingimportant role in our daily lives since it exerts influence on nearly everyaspect of people’s lives. As a result, it raises a hot discussion about whetherhigh school students should take a course on basic economics. Some peopleoppose this proposal, thinking there is no need to waste time on it because itis not part of the college entrance examination. However I believe high schoolshould provide students with the course on some basic theories of economy. Learningthis curriculum can benefit students to manage their own money, enhance theirmath performance and cultivate interests in it.

To begin with, studying the basic economicsin high school can improve their abilities of managing money. After studentsgraduate from the high school, they will leave their parents and become independentno matter for further education or hurting jobs. They have to manage their ownlife on their own including managing the money. Learning the economy as earlyas possible can help them deal with the financial issue easily. Take me as anexample: when I was studying in my senior high school, my school provided uswith some basic knowledge of economy. Thanks to grasping those basic theories, Imanaged my money with ease after attending the university. I would make budgetplan to avoid wasting money; I would bargain with vendors when I buy fruits; I wouldmake a book to record my expense. It is conceivable that taking an economiccourse in high school can let students learn the technique of managing theirown money in advance.

What’s more, students can improve theirmathematic performance by learning the economy because of the relevance betweenmathematics and economy. It is undeniable that numerous of formulas in math canbe applied in economy. As a result, learning economy will become much easierand in return students can enhance their mathematic knowledge while studyingeconomy. Take me as an illustration: after entering into the university, mymathematic performance was so poor that I lost my confidence and interest of it.But I was found of economy. When I encountered some difficult mathematic formulasin the process of learning economy, I would look them up in the reference book.As a consequence, my math performance increased by leaps and bounds in thatsemester. It is apparent that learning economy can greatly affect othersubjects.

Moreover, some students can cultivate theirinterests of economy when taking the lessons of economy in high school. By takingthe course of economy in high school, some students may intrigue the interestof it as economy is so related to our daily lives. Therefore, they may takeeconomy as their major in colleges. Besides, due to the experience of learningeconomy in advance, they can learn it faster than others who are not familiarwith it.

Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I insist that high school should set up the courses about basiceconomics for students.
43#
发表于 2012-8-7 09:08:56 | 只看该作者
黄色=好词
Currently, economy plays an increasing importantrole in our daily lives since it exerts influence on nearly every aspect of people’s lives. As aresult, it raises a hot discussion about whether high school students shouldtake a course on basic economics. Some people oppose this proposal, thinkingthere is no need to waste time on it because it is not part of the collegeentrance examination. However I believe high school should provide studentswith the course on some basic theories of economy. Learning this curriculum canbenefit students to managetheir own money, enhance their math performance and cultivate interests in it.


To begin with, studying the basic economics
 in highschool can improve theirstudents’ abilities ofmanaging money. After students graduate from the high school, they will leavetheir parents and become independent no matter for further education or hurtinghunting jobs. Theyhave to manage their own life on their own including managing the money.Learning the economy as early as possible can help them deal with the financialissue easily. Take me myself as an example:when I was studying in my senior high school, my school provided us with somebasic knowledge of economy. Thanks to grasping those basic theories, I managed my money with ease after attendingthe university. I would makebudget plan to avoid wasting money; I would bargain with vendors when I buy fruits; Iwould make a book to record my expense. It is conceivable that taking an economic course in highschool can let students learn the technique of managing their own money inadvance.

What’s more, students can improve their mathematicperformance by learning the economy because of the relevance between mathematicsand economy. It is undeniable that numerous of formulas in math can be appliedin economy. As a result, learning economy will become much easier and in return students canenhance their mathematic knowledge while studying economy. Take me as anillustration
My own experience illustrates it very well: afterentering into the university, my mathematic performance was so poor that I lostmy confidence and interest of it. But I was foundfond of economy.When I encountered some difficult mathematic formulas in the process oflearning economy, I would look them up in the reference book. As a consequence,my math performance increased by leaps and bounds in that semester. It is apparent that learningeconomy can greatly affect other subjects.

Moreover, some students can cultivate their interestsof economy when taking the lessons of economy in high school. By taking thecourse of economy in high school, some students may intrigue the interest of itas economy is so related to our daily lives. Therefore, they may take economyas their major in colleges. Besides, due to the experience of learning economyin advance, they can learn it faster than others who are not familiar with it.

Taking all these aspects into consideration, Iinsist that high school should set up the courses about basic economics forstudents.

很喜欢你的文章~~
结构很清楚,尤其是,你在文章的首段就将自己的理由简述了出来,一看,就知道之后要写什么了。很赞~~
你的语言,用词,举例都很恰当。读起来特别顺畅。
唯一一点是,个人觉得第二个理由有点牵强。
44#
发表于 2012-8-7 09:56:07 | 只看该作者
TPO:4
In the lecture, the professor makes several points about whether dinosaurs are endotherms or not. The professor argues that the information provided in the reading material cannot prove dinosaurs are endotherms. However, the reading contends that dinosaurs are endothermos. Theprofessor's lecture cast doubt on the reading with several points.
( 开头有些繁琐, 个人觉得先说阅读文章坚持说恐龙是endothermos, 然后 However,叫兽不同意持相反观点,更好。)

The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that fossils found in polar region cannot indicate the dinosaur are endothermos. According to the professor, the temperature in polar regions at that time is warm enough to allow not endothermous animals to stay. Besides, during the cold period in those distracts, animals can emigrate to warmer regions or become hibernated. It differs from the reading, in that the reading states only animals can maintain a constant temperature above that of the surrounding environment can live in such regions.

Another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that the position of the legs cannot prove the dinosaur are endotherms. The professor claims that the legs, beneath the dinosaur'sbody, is a function to support their heavy weight rather than is a characteristic of endothermous animals. However, the reading professes
(少个谓语吧?claims thatonly modern endotherms have the legs underneath their bodies, therefore, it is obvious that dinosaurs are endotherms.

Finally, the professor asserts
(asserts 是武断的认为,可是事实是恐龙的骨架里确实含有haversian canal, 所以应该用admits, 承认事实,然后转折,however, 个人感觉这样更合逻辑) that, on the contrary of the reading, dinosaurs do have Haversian canals in their bone structure, but they also contain the growth rings which can indicate the dinosaur is not endothermous animals. In other words, the growth rings can reveal the period of the growth of the dinosaur. The growth rings show that dinosaurs growing slowly followed by growing rapidly. As a result, it is a pattern of not endothermous animals. (这个应该是没有听清楚,叫兽说的是冷的时候长的慢,热得时候长得快,所以不是endotherms, 因为endotherms 的特点是长得总是很快,不管温度冷热)This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates that Haversian canals which is a structure in the bones of endotherms also exist in dinosaurs. Enhance, dinosaurs are endothermous animals.

感觉楼主听力可能有些薄弱, 说的不对的话,请勿介意.  加油!
45#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-7 14:47:12 | 只看该作者

8月7日(综合)

TOP:5


In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about the three theories which explain the function of the “great house”.The professor argues that, unfortunately, none of the three theories isconvincing. However, the reading contends that although there is still nouniversally agreement of the explanation of the aim of the “great house”, thereare three competing theories. The professor’s lecture cast doubt on the readingwith several points.

The first point the professor uses to castdoubt on the reading is that though the Chaco structure looks like residentialhouse form outside, it does not allow numerous people to live there regardingthe interior structure. Researchers find that there are only a few offireplaces where allow people to do their daily cooking. Besides, there is noenough room for them to stay. It differs from the reading, in that the readingstates that the structure is interpreted as earlier version of the architecturein Southwest society. In addition, it is strikingly similar to the “apartmentbuildings” at Taos.

Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that the second theory is unsupported by theevidence. The professor claims that after excavating in this place. Researcherscannot trace maize or maize containers which are the fundament equipments forstoring. However, the reading professes that it is used to store food supplies.Maize can be stored there for a long time without spoiling. Furthermore, there areno other places suitable for storing their foods.

Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, the third theory is incorrect. In other words, whileexcavating the mounds in Pueblo Alto, researchers also find large quantities ofbuilding material, such as, sands, stones. It is obvious that it is a trashdisposition and it is a place for meal rather than for ceremony. This directlycontradicts what the reading passage indicates that the houses are used asceremonial centers.
46#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-7 19:05:54 | 只看该作者

8月7日

TOPIC:In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past


As the competition, around people’s lives,becomes increasingly severe, life is getting more challenge than before. In orderto solve the problems of the present and the future, some people come up theperspective that we should view the past. As far as I am concerned, I totallysupport it. Learning from the past enables us to become success at ease,inspires us to great achievement and points out mistakes to avoid.

To begin with, we can achieve success easierby reviewing the past experience of other successes. As an old saying goes:” standon the shoulder of giants’.” We can learn from the successful experience of ancientpeople so as to find a shortcut to deal with similar problems. Take me as anexample: when I was preparing the TOEFL test, I often went to some English forumsthrough the internet, such as, English-test, Chasedream, for the sake offinding efficient ways to improve my writing ability. I learned numerous preciousand effective suggestions from the people who took a high performance in the test.For instance: referencing essays which had high marks, reading ScientificAmerican every day to master vocabulary, sticking to write a essay every singleday. After a month of hard working, I got a high score in the test. It isobvious that referencing the experience of others benefits us to achieve dreamsat ease.

What’s more, learning about the courage andtenacity of history’s great explorers, leaders and other achievers can inspireus to similar accomplishment. Their spirits will stimulate us when we are impededby dilemmas. Take me as an illustration: when I was preparing the GRE test, I wantedto give up in the middle since the heavy study burden and the suffering ofrecite vocabulary. However, after I read the store of the development of electriclight bulb by Thomas Edison. I was moved by his persistence because he triescountless times to find out the best material of the filament. Due to his positiveinfluence, I finally stuck it in the end. It is apparent that we can enhanceour values by the means of reviewing the past.

Moreover, by retrospect the past canprevent us from repeatedly committing the same mistakes which occurred before. Inthe history, there are a large set of catastrophes was caused by ancient peoplefor lacking enough technology and consciousness. For instance, the leak ofunclear energy happened in Japan in 2011. The nuclear power station explodedafter the earthquake. As a consequence, it caused hundreds of people gotinfected and approximately twenty thousands of people had to leave their homeon account of the radiation. It was a painful tragedy not only to Japan but alsothe whole human beings. We people are so fragile in face of such great power. Asa lesson, our government is stress increasing importance to that issue.

Taking all these aspects intoconsideration, I believe that nothing is more important than retrospect thepast to successfully solve the problems of right now or the future.
47#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-8 09:36:40 | 只看该作者

8月8日(综合)

tpo:6


In the lecture, the professor makes severalpoints about the value of Communal online encyclopedias. The professor arguesthat although the communal online encyclopedias is nor perfect, it still hasgreat advantages. However, the reading contends that the critical problems ofthe communal online encyclopedias make them much less valuable than traditionalprinted encyclopedias. The professor’s lecture cast doubt on the reading withseveral points.

The first point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is that neither communal online encyclopedias nor traditionalprinted encyclopedias are perfect. According to the professor, communal onlineencyclopedias exist several errors in deed. But there is no comprehensive bookcontains no mistakes. Besides, the mistakes of communal online encyclopediascan be corrected easily compared with traditional printed encyclopedias whichwill remain error for years. I t differs from the reading, in that the readingstates that communal online encyclopedias lack academic credentials while traditionalprinted encyclopedias are more correct for writing adhere to standards.

Another point that the professor uses tocast doubt on the reading is the strategies employed by communal onlineencyclopedias to defend hacking. The professor claims that there are two meansfor communal online encyclopedias to prevent their content from being change byhackers on purpose. The first method is that the communal online encyclopediasapply read only formation to its important information. Under that formation unprivilegedpeople cannot change the resource. The second one is there are a specific panelconsists of special editors whose job is monitor the changes. However, thereading professes that the communal online encyclopedia will be interpolated byunscrupulous readers deliberately which will not happen in the traditionalprinted encyclopedias.

Finally, the professor asserts that, on thecontrary of the reading, communal online encyclopedias do not offer falseimpression to readers. In other words, it contains a great varied informationand accurately reflects the diversity of uses’ interesting. Whereas, thetraditional printed encyclopedias cannot provide great range of informationthat users need due to the limited space of the book. This directly contradictsto what the reading passage indicates that communal online encyclopedias willmislead the users since it focus too frequently and in too great a depth onpopular topics.
48#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-8 14:22:43 | 只看该作者

8月8日

topic:What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?


Recently, whether universityprofessors should focus on research or teaching students raises a heateddebate. Some hold the view that professors should pay greater attention totheir research. Therefore, they can improve the technology and make the societyprogress. However, others believe that professors’ primary job is fostering thenext generation of the country. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of thelatter perspective. There are several reasons to support that which I willillustrate in this essay.

To begin with, the professors are the best choice who can teach universitystudents especially in their specific major. The reason is that theprofessors have studied in a specific domain field for a long time.As a result, they have sophisticated skills of teaching and are capable toof helping students to deal with their questions in an academic area.Take my professor doctor Yang as an example: he is a professor who only focuseson educating students instead of doing research. When I have problem in mymajor (computer science), I will turn to him for help. Andhe will tell me the ways in which to handle it.

What’s more, if all professors only do research rather than teaching students,the consequence is terrible. No one will impart knowledge to the universitystudents. The education level of the next generation will become lower and lower.Therefore, the country will have no innovation, no improvement intechniques, even the progress of the society will be deteriorated in thefuture. On the other hand, the inheritance is imperative to thecountry. Teachers’ primary responsibility is training students for thedevelopment of the country even the whole human society in the long run.

Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that professors shouldattach importance to education rather than doing research.
49#
发表于 2012-8-8 18:51:11 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

In the lecture, the professor makes several points about the three theories which explain the function of the “great house”. The professor argues that, unfortunately, none of the three theories is convincing. However, the reading contends that although there is still nouniversally agreement of the explanation of the aim of the “great house”, there are three competing theories. The professor’s lecture cast doubt on the reading with several points.

The first point the professor uses to cast
s doubt on the reading is that though the Chaco structure looks like residential house form outside, it does not allow numerous people to live there regarding the interior structure. Researchers find that there are only a few of fire places where allow people to do their daily cooking. Besides, there is no enough room for them to stay. It differs from the reading, in that the reading states that the structure is interpreted as earlier version of the architecture in Southwest society. In addition, it is strikingly similar to the “apartment buildings” at Taos.(听力里面的是不是有房间住但是没有足够的火堆额。其实我也觉得只要有足够的空间怎么会没有足够的地方来做火堆尼)

Another point that the professor uses
to cast doubt on(这个换下吧,) the reading is that the second theory is unsupported by the evidence. The professor claims that after excavating in this place. (这里用逗号吧,好像是一句的样子)Researchers cannot trace maize or maize containers which are the fundamentadj equipments for storing. However, the reading professes that it is used to store food supplies. Maize can be stored there for a long time without spoiling. Furthermore, there are no other places suitable for storing their foods.

Finally, the professor asserts that, on the contrary of the reading, the third theory is incorrect. In other words, while excavating the mounds in Pueblo Alto, researchers also find large quantities of building material, such as, sands, stones. It is obvious that it is a trash disposition and it is a place for meal rather than for ceremony. This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates that the houses are used asceremonial centers.

整体听力不错,听力和阅读的内容也很好了。
50#
发表于 2012-8-8 19:16:40 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

As the competition, around(感觉这个动词不是很准确,看google search people’s lives, becomes increasingly severe, life is getting more challenge than before. In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, some people come up the perspective that we should view the past. As far as I am concerned, I totally support it. Learning from the past enables us to become success at ease, inspires us to great achievement and points out mistakes to avoid.

To begin with, we can achieve success easier by reviewing the past experience of other successes
successfu people?). As an old saying goes:” stand on the shoulder of giants’.” We can learn from the successful experience of ancient people so as to find a shortcut to deal with similar problems. Take me as anexample: when I was preparing the TOEFL test, I often went to some English forums through the internet, such as, English-test, Chasedream, for the sake of finding efficient ways to improve my writing ability. I learned numerous precious and effective suggestions from the people who took a high performance in the test .For instance: referencing essays which had high marks, reading Scientific American every day to master vocabulary, sticking to write a essay every single day. After a month of hard working, I got a high score in the test. It is obvious that referencing the experience of others benefits us to achieve dreams at ease.

What’s more, learning about the courage and tenacity of history’s great explorers, leaders and other achievers can inspireus to similar accomplishment. Their spirits will stimulate us when we are impeded by dilemmas. Take me as an illustration: when I was preparing the GRE test, I wanted to give up in the middle since the heavy study burden and the suffering of recite vocabulary. However, after I read the
store of the developmentinventionof electric light bulb by Thomas Edison. I was moved by his persistence because he tries countless times to find out the best material of the filament. Due to his positive influence, I finally stuck it in the end. It is apparent that we can enhance our values by the means of reviewing the past.(不知道这里再加上看完他的故事后我深受感动然后坚持考试并取得好成绩。)

Moreover,
by(这里直接用动名词呗)retrospect the past can prevent us from repeatedly committing the same mistakes which occurred before. In the history, there are a large set of catastrophes was caused by ancientundeveloped 这个感觉还是比较好的了) people for lacking enough technology and consciousness. For instance, the leak of unclear energy happened in Japan in 2011. The nuclear power station exploded after the earthquake. As a consequence, it caused hundreds of people got infected and approximately twenty thousands of people had to leave their home on account of the radiation. It was a painful tragedy not only to Japan but alsothe whole human beings. We people are so fragile in face of such great power. As a lesson, our government is stress increasing importance to that issue.

Taking all these aspects into consideration, I believe that nothing is more important than retrospect the past to successfully solve the problems of right now or the future.

例子举得很具体了,下面就是要将词汇用合适和清楚。适当加入变化句式和比较适合考官眼光的词汇就会好一点了。
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