fairy作文贴 每日练习ING

fairyfinger

8.11
In the lecture, the professor asserts that although petroluem is a finite resource and harm the environment, the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is not a solution. She says that the passage, by listing the advantages of hydrogen energy, is to be too optimistic about its prospect.

First, hydrogen energy is not easily availabel. In order to get hydrogen in a pure liquid state, it needs a cold environment of minus 253 degree. In other words, it is technologically difficult to create hydrogen resources adaptable to car engine. Therefore, the energy resource of fuel-cell engines is not easily available. That directly contradicts to what the passage indicate.  

Second, the purification of hydrogen harms the environment. The passage says that the hydrogen-based fuel cells has little side-effect. Yet according to the lecture, in the process of producing the hydrogen, people have to burn materials like coal and oil, which are detrimental to the environment. Thus, factories that generate hydrogens produce harmful byproduct. In that way, hydrogen-based fuel could not solve the problem of environment pollution, that overturns the second statement in the passage.

Third, manufacturing the fuel-cell engine is expensive. The passage points out that a fuel-cell engine is economically competetive since it is nearly twice as efficent in using its fuel as a traditional internal-combustion engine. However, the lecturer talks about how costy of manufacturing the engine in that the only material which can stimulate the hydrogen turn into electricity is expensive. That is to say, the fuel-cell engine is not economically competetive.

结尾段没来得及写。速度还是不够

fairyfinger

8.12
It is better to finish a project completely and then begin a new one than work on two or more projects at the same time.

People have different preference when planing their work: some like to do one thing at a time so as to be highly focused; others prefer to work on several projects simultaneously in order to make full use of time. As far as I'm concerned, I am apt to engage myself in more than one things, and my reaons are listed as follows.

In the first place, by doing a fair number of things at the same time, one can be very effective. As I'm a person who always want to challenge myself, I enjoy trying to manage a rather heavy workload. Besides, seemingly arduous tasks can stimulates one's potential. Having to finish all the projects before the deadlines, one may seize every second and be highly concentrated on his works. On the contrary, if he only has to do one task, he may feel relaxed, and thereby is likely to squander spare time on entertainment or gossiping. What's worse? Those unrelated activities are distarcting: even when one goes back to his work, his mind is still filled with video games or other trivals. Thus, working on several tasks simultaneously is more efficient than just focus on one project at a time.

Another more important reason is that the differences among each projects can help the doer change his mindset, and thus invigorate inspirations. As a  film student who plan to study in US next year, I now have to prepare Toefl test, research on suitable schools and write several screenwriting samples all at a time. Instead of feeling frustrated, I found that one project is usually helpful to another: viewing the nice courses offered by my target shcool makes me more energetic in writing scripts and learning English; whenever my inspiration exhausts, reading English novels and poems fills me with new thoughts. In that way, doing different projects at the same time can be very thought-provoking.

Admittedly, one should not take the reasons listed above to extrems -- think that the more, the better. Too many works and deadlines will force the doer work without a rest, which is detrimental to both physical and mental health. Consequently, with no time to recharge himself, one will work with low efficiency.

In sum, dealing with a proper number of projects at one time is efficient as well as rewarding.

009110

8.11红色表修改 绿色表建议
In the lecture, the professor asserts that although petroluem is a finite resource and harm the environment, the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is not a solution. She says that the passage, by listing the advantages of hydrogen energy（我觉得是在讲fuel cell的优越性，而原料好获取是起支撑作用的）, is to be(删) too optimistic about its(指代不明，建议更改)prospect.

First, hydrogen energy is not easily availabel. In order to get hydrogen in a pure liquid state, it needs a cold environment of minus 253（少了个单位，记不清是F还是C了） degree. In other words, it is technologically difficult to create hydrogen resources adaptable to car engine. Therefore, the energy resource of fuel-cell engines is not easily available. That directly contradicts to（删） what the passage indicates.  

Secondly, the purification of hydrogen harms the environment. The passage says that the hydrogen-based fuel cells has(have)little side-effect. Yet according to the lecture, in the process of producing the hydrogen, people have to burn materials like coal and oil, which are detrimental to the environment. Thus, factories that generate hydrogens produce harmful byproducts(感觉这里的by-products没有解释的很清楚，只是在前一句末提到对环境不好). In that way, hydrogen-based fuel could not solve the problem of environment pollution, that（which） overturns（感觉overturn用在这里有点杀鸡用牛刀，不恰当，建议换了） the second statement in the passage.

Thirdly, manufacturing the fuel-cell engine is expensive. The passage points out that a fuel-cell engine is economically competetive since it is nearly twice as efficent in using its fuel as a traditional internal-combustion engine. However, the lecturer talks about how costy of manufacturing the engine in that the only material which can stimulate the hydrogen turn into electricity is expensive.(从句套的太多，层级不明显，建议重新调整语序） That is to say, the fuel-cell engine is not economically competetive.

整体感觉：
文章层级很清楚，几个分论点逐一反驳文字材料，重点很全。
（不过第一段总结文字材料“主要在列举H energy优点”不是很恰当，没有分清主次）
另外建议如果有时间，最好结尾再来个总结。

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
People have different preference when planing their work: some like to do one thing at a time so as to be highly focused; others prefer to work on several projects simultaneously in order to make full use of time. As far as I'm concerned, I am apt to engage myself in more than one things, and my reaons are listed as follows. （开头不错）

In the first place, by doing a fair number of things at the same time, one（其实这个直接用I 就好，你前面说的是my reasons么） can be very effective. As I'm a person who always want to challenge myself, I enjoy trying to manage a rather heavy workload. Besides, seemingly arduous tasks can stimulates one's potential. Having to finish all the projects before the deadlines, one may seize every second and be highly concentrated on his works. On the contrary, if he only has to do one task, he may feel relaxed, and thereby is likely to squander spare time on entertainment or gossiping. What's worse? Those unrelated activities are distarcting: even when one goes back to his work, his mind is still filled with video games or other trivals. Thus, working on several tasks simultaneously is more efficient than just focus on one project at a time.

Another more important reason is that the differences among each projects can help the doer change his mindset, and thus invigorate inspirations. As a  film student who plan to study in US next year, I now have to prepare Toefl test, research on suitable schools and write several screenwriting samples all at a time. Instead of feeling frustrated, I found that one project is usually helpful to another: viewing the nice courses offered by my target shcool makes me more energetic in writing scripts and learning English; whenever my inspiration exhausts, reading English novels and poems fills me with new thoughts. In that way, doing different projects at the same time can be very thought-provoking.

Admittedly, one should not take the reasons listed above to extrems -- think that the more, the better. Too many works and deadlines will force the doer work without a rest, which is detrimental to both physical and mental health. Consequently, with no time to recharge himself, one will work with low efficiency.

In sum, dealing with a proper number of projects at one time is efficient as well as rewarding.
楼主的独立真好，

fairyfinger

TPO14
In the lecture, the professor talks about the harmful effect of salvage logging. She aaserts that removing dead trees will harm the forest in the long run, and the its economic benefit is also doubtful, which opposes to what the passage says.

First, the decomposition of dead trees can rich the soil with abundant nutrients. The passage suggests that dead trees hinder tree growth since they occupied the soil where new trees can grow.
Yet according to the professor, a dead trees clean-up would result in less nutrients for tree growth. That is because in the process of decomposing, dead trees can let out rich nutrients in the soil. Therefore those nutritions will help new trees to grow faster. That directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

Second, decaying wood are suitable habitats for birds and many other insects. In the passage, decaying trees are homes for insects like spruce bark beetle, which are detrimental to healthy trees. However, the professor says that insects beneficial to trees like birds also reside on dead trees. Besides, rotting wood has been remaind in one forest for over a hundred years, and do not cause much damage. Thus, insects like spruce bark beetle would not cause as much damage as the removing  of dead trees. This is another ponit where the lecture disputes the passage.

Third and last, most of the damaged trees is only partially ruined. With the help of helicoptor spreading, the trees can continue to grow. And that would not cost much money. Additionally,  although the passage recognizes that salvage logging may create more jobs for local people, it fails to see the the job competition: according to the lecture, more experienced and well-trained outsiders are more likely to get the jobs than the locals do. Thus, salvage logging has little economic benefits.

In sum, the passage says that salvage logging is beneficial to both a damaged forest and the economy, yet the professor refutes that the act harmful in the long run and gives her proofs.

超时了。感觉自己很罗嗦，各种细节都要抓到么？

lemonyhu

LZ。。。14号的不是TPO12的综合咩。。。。那我给你先改了？

lemonyhu

In the lecture, the professor talks about the harmful effect of salvage logging. She aaserts that removing dead trees will harm the forest in the long run, and the its economic benefit is also doubtful, which opposes to what the passage says.

First, the decomposition of dead trees can rich the soil with abundant nutrients. The passage suggests that dead trees hinder tree growth since they occupied the soil（the soil where 是原文中的？觉得有点奇怪，soil改成position/place会不会好点？） where new trees can grow.
Yet according to the professor, a dead trees clean-up would result in less nutrients for tree growth. That is because in the process of decomposing, dead trees can let out rich nutrients in the soil. Therefore those nutritions will help new trees to grow（help sb do） faster. That directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

Second, decaying wood are suitable habitats for birds and many other insects. In the passage, decaying trees are homes for insects like spruce bark beetle, which are detrimental to healthy trees. However, the professor says that insects beneficial to trees like birds also reside on dead trees（birds不能算insects吧？）. Besides, rotting wood has been remaind in one forest for over a hundred years, and do not cause much damage. Thus, insects like spruce bark beetle would not cause as much damage as the removing of dead trees. This is another ponit where the lecture disputes the passage.

Third and last, most of the damaged trees is only partially ruined. With the help of helicoptor spreading, the trees can continue to grow. And that would not cost much money. Additionally, although the passage recognizes that salvage logging may create more jobs for local people, it fails to see the the job competition: according to the lecture, more experienced and well-trained outsiders are more likely to get the jobs than the locals do. Thus, salvage logging has little economic benefits.

In sum, the passage says that salvage logging is beneficial to both a damaged forest and the economy, yet the professor refutes that the act harmful in the long run and gives her proofs.



总体来看LZ的思路清晰，detail也很丰富，有一些小的拼写错误和语态错误~平时注意就好啦

时间的问题其实我自己在家写的时候也总觉得不太够，但是一般上场都没问题，所以不用着急

fairyfinger

我才发现写错了。。瀑布汗。。

fairyfinger

Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one's family than what is like before.

On the way of one's success, his family can provide him with money, social networks and professional knowledges and techniques. Most parents are eager to help their off-springs in every possible way. However, with the development of technology and democracy, I believe it becomes harder and harder for parents to help gaining success of their children. And my reasons are listed as follows.

Nowadays, a more equal social structure makes it difficult for people of high social and political status to use their privilege. In the past, people were clear-cut by their social status: a businessman cannot marry an aristocratic heiress; only children with rich family can have higher education; the whole country is under control of a few inherited descendants of the former aristocracy or dutches. Thus, people who are at the top of the hierarchy can get whatever they want, yet those at the bottom never have chance to show their talent. However, living in an era which value democracy and equality, modern people are no longer confined by their backgrounds. To be more specific, anyone who is smart enough can enter Harvard or Oxford; a black person from a single family can be the president of the United States. In other words, modern society provide more opportunities for people who have competence and talent despite of their origin.

More importantly, with the spreading of the internet, the present generations have a low-cost access to show themselves to the public. Instead of finding a publicity agents, people now can easily promote themselves through internet. Considering the famous Chinese cartoonist Wang momo, she became famous overnight by publishing a set of funny chatting expressions on the internet. Likewise, many well-recognized designers and artists are selling their products in online shops like Esty and Taobao, where they first started their business with low capital. Therefore, the fast development of internet has made it possible for every individual to show his or her talent in a world-wide stage.

Admittedly, there still exist certain people who achieved success mostly with the help of their families. That is because with money supported by families, some people can study abroad at an early age, have a high position in his parents' company without competing with others, and even open his own company without worrying about the cost. More money and better social associations thereby does give certain people more chances than others in the way to success.

In sum, the help from parents can actually offer more opportunities for off-springs in all ages. Yet a more equal social structure and a more convenient promoting platform makes it much easier for modern people to achieve success without the help from families.

耗时1小时- -。狂汗，以后要掐时间

猫和鸭

不好意思哈，我来晚了，我的作业刚交哈，我争取今天晚上帮你改出来哈。白天事情太多实在不行了。SORRY SORRY！

更新：这个。。。。你的原文我就不贴出来啦。因为。。。。。。我实在不知道改些啥啦，BS我水平太弱了吧。

--------哇，一小时内搞定的啊，很厉害啊。整体写得很流畅啊，架构也很紧密呢，用了经典的2-1模式，话说我都没想出你的这些思路呢。

不像我写的很浅的哈，如果不小心恶心到的话SORRY哈！

另外你的长句子都用得很到位，我学习啦，我瀑布汗啊，以我目前的水平确实不够鸡蛋里挑骨头啊，我想你这篇文章应该算5分的档次了呢，另外，弱弱地请教大侠，您平时练思维架构是怎么练的呀，我每次看到一个TOPIC都要想半天啊。。