包子不包子：欢迎拍砖～～

包子不包子

我发现我弄错了 要改的不是你的作文  呵呵 无视我哈 哈哈

-- by 会员 chenglu9066 (2012/6/28 23:24:02)

HAHA

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The past to people is what water is to fish. All of the three parts, past, present and future, are mutually inexclusive to each other. As an integral in people’s life, there exists certain connection among them. People can hear the words from the old, cheerful or sad, they are looking back into the past to some extent every day. The saying like what if I did not do that is not rare. Arrogant people do nothing but picture their wonderful future in vain. For the destination to solve problems, personally, I do not deny that it should be based on the reviewing of the past.

To begin with, pastmeans experience no matter it is success or failure. It is where the precious of life buried. By reviewing the past(enable people to 这样的表达是不是会简练一点), people are enabled to find the resemblances between problems people are facing and those has encountered. （加个连接词什么的？）With the flowing of time, memory comes to be vague. Only by digging into the past, can people discover the useful information to solve problems. If it was still a mystery in the past, this time even greater courage and care is needed. If it was solved in the past, people can figure out the question at present in no time by referring to the past experience. Besides, it can be called as study, merely studying from people themselves past, the achievement is great. Not only can people identify the current problem, but also the same mistakes will not occur again. In this way, it is of great needed to review the past.

In addition, people can find themselves when they are lost on their way to success （with the help of…..联系下主题？）. There are always myriad of dangerous and attractive things on people's way to their goal. When we are tired or terrified or want to give up, it is time for us to look back into the past. To find the courage at the beginning and feel the strong determination we used to have. Again, filled with confidence and braveness as well as the propulsion of dream from the very start, people are ready to see the problems directly in their eyes and to fight with them until they are beaten. Indeed, people have to review to set up again in solving all the problems.

Admittedly, some people may against my point by saying that people necessitate to imagine the future. What they need is the eager for better life in the future to push them to work and to answer the problems. However, I insist that the imagination is barely dream like a giant building without strong foundation. The outcome is nothing but collapse. （According what has been discussd above）,It is needless to stress the importance in viewing the past. 包子亲，这个例子证明下了额，难道是是时间不够了

In conclusion, in order to find courage, confidence and essential information to face the current questions, people need to look back into the past. For it is also an approach for a brighter future.

包子亲，你句子很优美的说，以后你每篇作文我都改下吧，今天我要晚上写两篇吧，晚些让你改额。

看TPO的时候觉得那个广告的独立作文真难写，就下些资料搞些背景看看。

综合改



Both of the writer and the lecturer explore the issue about private fossil collectors. The author insists that only negative influence to public and scientists can be found. The lecturer, on the contrary, believes that the writer is exaggerating the situation. In all, the positive side of private collector overweighs its negative side.

First, the professor claims that private collector can bring greater exposure to the fossils rather thatn the statement in the reading,- public cannot see them unless they are donated to the museum. She adds that while selling, the commercial market enable low level public buyers, public schools, to buy the fossils and display them to the public. Therefore, this directly disproves its counterpart in the reading material.

Moreover, the speaker declares that scientists will not lose chance to get access to fossils instead thereeir approaches are assured. Collectors necessitate scientists to identify the fossils such as test for detail information, stresses the professor. In this way, no fossil can go into private collector without the examination of scientists. Also no important information can be missed out by the scientific communities. Accordingly, this is another place where experiences the contradicted theory.

At last, the professor asserts that the damages of fossils cannot be considered in the way raised in the passage. Sometimes there are damages to the fossils. However, it is better to let more fossils be found without location and other detail information or let a great number of them buried underground? Apparently, the former one is the best solution. Consequently, the last point is rebutted.

To sum up, the professor clearly identifies the weakness in the passage and clearly shows that the central argument in the reading, private collectors only produce negative influence to the public, is incorrect.



看看下了。

包子不包子

6.29.2012 独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer

Currently, with the gradual fiercely growing competition in the society, it is of great significance for people to choose the right and proper career, which is regarded as a secure for their brighter further life. As there are great number of people in my country chooses to study finance and accounting, it does not mean everyone in the field enjoy themselves and this choice will influence the development entirely. Again it stresses that great concern should be paid suitable career choosing for children. From my perspective, it is better to choose the career as our parents’.

To begin with, as children, we spend most of their time at home with our parents. No wonder we can receive countless of influence from them. Their professional talking, whether chemistry or art, is the first specified field that we are exposed to and, and the first subject we are getting familiar to either. If it is art, oil paintings, pigments and sculptures comprised of various materials would probably trap us in the wonderland. Children are therefore surrounded by all those subject related stuff. For curiosity as all the children possess, they touch the painting brushes, feel the texture of the caravan and observe the broad stroke frequently. Besides getting familiar, at least they do not feel terrified to see those manlike sculptures standing there, lifelessly and rigidly. Therefore, the related career environment is set up by parents even when children are young, which enable them to obtain the readily access to understand those career and fall in love with them.

In addition, if children choose the same career as their parents do, the possible guide, assistance and advice will not be difficult to reach. With the additional help from parents, a high possibility to success is promised. Take the most traditional career in China, farmer, for example. Not far from recent, 60% of China's population is still farmer, who usually appear in generations in a family. Accordingly, father teach their sons from young age about the art of agriculture such as when to star planting carrots, what time is the best to water the field and how to use the limited tools to fight against pests in the land depends on the diversities in areas. Imagine there is no such kind of help and guide from their parents, what will happen? Wasting several years of time to search for the right answer by himself. Certainly it is not realistic, no famer can afford to lose their whole year food-the entire family is waiting to be fed.

Admittedly, others may against my point by stating that children should be freed to choose their future career. With interfere from parents, deviation of children’s talent will not be rare. However, talent alone can benefit children nothing. A good teacher as our parent is always necessary to lead us out of question and to the colorful future.

To sum up, children should choose the same career as their parents do for them to be competitive in their career.

瓜瓜不瓜

6.29.2012 独立
红色为错误 蓝色为建议 高亮为精彩 绿色为段落 紫色是总评

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should choose the same career as their parents. Use specific examples to support your answer

Currently, with the gradual fiercely growing competition in the society, it is of great significance for people to choose the right and proper career, which is regarded as a secure for their brighter further life. As there are great number of people in my country chooses to study finance and accounting, it does not mean everyone in the field enjoy themselves and this choice will influence the development entirely. Again it stresses that great concern should be paid（+to） suitable career choosing for children. From my perspective, it is better to choose the career as our parents’.

To begin with, as children, we spend most of their time at home with our parents. No wonder we can receive countless of influence(influence 和receive搭配得不地道，建议改改，比如：No wonder that parents influence children from time to time.) from them. Their professional talking, whether chemistry or art,(想表达无论是化学还是艺术？whether有这个用法么？我不太确定哈,建议保险起见改成whatever） is the first specified field that we are exposed toand, （and多余，舍去）and the first subject we are getting familiar to either. If it is art, oil paintings, pigments and sculptures comprised of various materials would probably trap us in the wonderland. Children are therefore surrounded by all those subject related stuff. For curiosity as all the children possess, they touch the painting brushes, feel the texture of the caravan and observe the broad stroke frequently. Besides getting familiar, at least they do not feel terrified to see those manlike sculptures standing there, lifelessly and rigidly. Therefore, the related career environment is set up by parents even when children are young, which enable them to obtain the readily access to understand those career and fall in love with them.

In addition, if children choose the same career as their parents do, the possible (possible加在这里好像没有什么意义，反而有点chinglish)guide, assistance and advice will not be difficult to reach. With the additional help from parents, a high possibility to success is promised. Take the most traditional career in China, farmer, for example. Not far from recent, 60% of China's population is still farmer, who usually appear in generations in a family. Accordingly, father teach their sons from young age about the art of agriculture such as when to star planting carrots, what time is the best to water the field and how to use the limited tools to fight against pests in the land depends on the diversities in areas. Imagine there is no such kind of help and guide from their parents, what will happen? Wasting several years of time to search for the right answer by himself. Certainly it is not realistic, no famer can afford to lose their whole year food-the entire family is waiting to be fed.

Admittedly, others may against my point by stating that children should be freed to choose their future career. With interfere from parents,deviation of children’s talent will not be rare. However, talent alone can benefit children nothing. A good teacher as our parent is always necessary to lead us out of question and to the colorful future.（感觉这个让步段并没有写得很好，包子再琢磨琢磨）

To sum up, children should choose the same career as their parents do for them to be competitive in their career.（结尾最好能稍微丰富一点，实在没什么话写的话就把之前的观点概括一遍）


包子，咱两的名字特别有意思发现木有？哈哈哈哈。第一次互批，多多指教哈哈！我可是向happy特别申请今天咱两互批的，因为想早点认识你，(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……

文章结构都出来了，5段式很完整，前面两个支持点写的挺丰满的，
但是感觉让步段稍有不足，还有结尾也有点太过于简略了，包子再琢磨琢磨。
文章基本没有错误，赞一个。

PS：包子，29号应该写的是TPO14的综合，你写了13的。。。我没做过TPO13，所以没办法给你批，那你把TPO14的综合写好我再来批改吧哈。 一起加油~！

包子不包子

谢谢瓜瓜的修改~ 很高兴认识~ 包子再研究研究
不好意思写错了啊...这就补上~麻烦了

tpo14



Both of the lecture and the writer explore the issue about salvage logging, a kind of logging utilized after forest fire or storm. The author believes that this kind of logging can bring benefit to not only forest but also local people. The professor, on the contrary, insists that longer term severe damage may be caused by this.



First, the speaker claims that the cleanup of the burned forest by salvage logging do not provide condition for tree growth, which is supported by the writer. In fact, the natural decompose of those trees create nutrition that can enrich the soil and make it favorable for the growth of new trees. Once those trees are removed, not enough nutrition can be left for the health growing of trees. Therefore, this directly disproves its counterpart in the reading material.



Moreover, the professor declares that beetles live in the dead trees are not lethal for the forest's living. They have lived there for more than a hundred without severe damage to the forest, explains the professor. He also adds that the dead trees not only provide places for harmful insects but also birds and insects which are contributor for the health of the forest. Furthermore, he stresses that it is the logging that does more long term harm to the forest rather than the insects. Accordingly, this is another place where experiences the contradicted theory.



At last, the lecturer asserts that the economic benefit mentioned in the reading is small and is not a long term issue. The logging needs helicopters to carry on and is hard to maintain. Also only temporary jobs are created for  trained outsiders more than local people. In this way, not too much economic benefits are brought to the local people. Consequently, the last point is rebutted.



In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the passage, salvage logging generates benefits, is incorrect.

包子不包子

7.1综合

tpo15

Both of the lecturer and the writer explore the issue of stop cane toad, an amphibian species in South America, from spreading outside of its original habitats. The author lists three possible solutions. The professor, on the contrary, insists that cane toad cannot be get rid of as easy as the passage says and the solutions are either unsuccessful or environmentally damage.

First, the speaker claims that the fence would not stop the spreading as it is described in the reading. There are young cane toad and the eggs in streams and river can flow from one side of the fence to the other. In this ways, says the professor, waterways carry the young and the eggs to the other side and spread there. Therefore, this directly disproves its counterpart in the reading material.

Moreover, the lecturer declares that the untrained volunteers can destroy the native frogs, which are already in danger, unconsciously. The differences between the native and cane toad are difficult to tell, especially when they are young. Once the mistakes occur among volunteers, it is hard to make up the outcome. Accordingly, this is another place where experiences the contradicted theory.

At last, the professor asserts that disease-causing virus is a bad solution. It can produce damages to the habitats in South America by the transforming to other continents. If the virus appears in the original habitats of cane toad, they will be attacked severely. Besides, ecological damages can be created through this way either. Furthermore, the professor stresses that native cane toad is a vital part of the ecosystem; if eliminated, the ecosystem will suffer. Consequently, the last point is rebutted.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the passage and convincingly shows that all of the potential solutions proposed to control the population of cane toad are incorrect.

kchszy061ban

Both of the lecturer and the writer explore the issue of stopping cane toad, an amphibian species in South America, from spreading outside of its original habitats. The author lists three possible solutions. The professor, on the contrary, insists that cane toad cannot be get rid of as easy as the passage says and the solutions are either unsuccessful or environmentally damage(damage换为harmful？它不是adj额).

First, the speaker claims that the fence would not stop the spreading as it is described in the reading. There are young cane toad and the eggs in streams and river can flow from one side of the fence to the other. In this ways, says the professor, waterways carry the young and the eggs to the other side and spread there. Therefore, this directly disproves its counterpart in the reading material.

Moreover, the lecturer declares that the untrained volunteers can destroy the native frogs, which are already in danger, unconsciously. The differences between the native and cane toad are difficult to tell, especially when they are young. Once the mistakes occur among volunteers, it is hard to make up the outcome. Accordingly, this is another place where experiences the contradicted theory.

At last, the professor asserts that disease-causing virus is a bad solution. It can produce damages to the habitats in South America by the transforming to other continents（我觉得这里有歧义，不如去掉）. If the virus appears in the original habitats of cane toad, they will be attacked severely. Besides, ecological damages can be created through this way either. Furthermore, the professor stresses that native cane toad is a vital part of the ecosystem; if eliminated, the ecosystem will suffer. Consequently, the last point is rebutted.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the passage and convincingly shows that all of the potential solutions proposed to control the population of cane toad are incorrect.

包子亲，这个是昨天的综合吧。今天要写16.额

包子不包子

看错了 混乱了T.T
晚上补上

瓜瓜不瓜

tpo14
Both of the lecture and the writer explore the issue about salvage logging, a kind of logging utilized after forest fire or storm. The author believes that this kind of logging can bring benefit to not only forest but also local people. The professor, on the contrary, insists that longer term severe damage may be caused by this.

First, the speaker claims that the cleanup of the burned forest by salvage logging do not provide condition for tree growth, which is supported by the writer. In fact, the natural decompose of those trees create nutrition that can enrich the soil and make it favorable for the growth of new trees. Once those trees are removed, not enough nutrition can be left for the health growing of trees. Therefore, this directly disproves its counterpart in the reading material.

Moreover, the professor declares that beetles live（living) in the dead trees are not lethal for the forest's living. They have lived there for more than a hundred without severe damage to the forest, explains the professor. He also adds that the dead trees not only provide places for harmful insects but also birds and insects which are contributor for(to) the health of the forest. Furthermore, he stresses that it is the logging that does more long term harm to the forest rather than the insects. Accordingly, this is another place where experiences the contradicted theory.

At last, the lecturer asserts that the economic benefit mentioned in the reading is small and is not a long term issue. The logging needs helicopters to carry on and is hard to maintain. Also only temporary jobs are created for trained outsiders more than local people. In this way, not too much economic benefits are brought to the local people. Consequently, the last point is rebutted.

In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the passage, salvage logging generates benefits, is incorrect.

写的很好，语句观点都很好！！！听力的所有点都听清楚了，而且表达的很好！

瓜瓜不瓜

包子记得帮我批29号的作文哦