【写作小分队acrophobiahy的作文贴】

gre呀gre

8.8 独立我是错误君 我是没错但是改了更好君 我是文章结构建议君 我是写的赞！

As we all know（更地道的说法是as it is known to all）, the roles and responsibilities of professors are closely tied tothe central functions of high education. According to adeclaration, which isformulated in 2000 by a representative committee of college and universityfaculty members, the function of colleges anduniversities are " to promoteinquiry and advance the sum of human knowledge, and to develop experts invarious fields". Correspondingly, professors should undertake teaching andresearch roles to carry out academicwork. However, the balance between the tworoles differs widely among professors, and this is a topic of endlessdiscussion. From my perspective, the main role of （a）professorshould be to educate students.

First and foremost, the teaching roles ofprofessors make a great difference to（in） thedevelopment of their students. It is acknowledged to us that professors are theexperts in some specific fields and students areregard（regarded） as learners or novice to（on） thefields. It is professors that disseminate and impart basic and appliedknowledge to their students, and assist them with the（an） effective learning process.  All of these are beneficial for（to） students in their future（改成further会更好）study and work. However, if a professor pays most of his attention to doresearch and ignores his teaching quality, students might（might指的是可能性非常小，改成may好一些） find it tough to understand thecomplicated equations and the abstruse technical terms, which might make them, （删掉逗号）lose their interest in the field.

In addition, changes made in teachingquality by professors can make a great contribution to（on） higheducation. An event, happened in 1980s, canillustrate（事件本身不能举例啊，举例的必须是人，改成canbe used to illustrate） thispoint very well. At that time, the teaching role came under increased scrutiny.Studies, such as Wingspreas Report, outlined the shortcomings of higheducation. Some professors became to investigate the failures and eventually develop（developed） new approaches to revitalizingteaching effectiveness, such as placing an emphasis on individual needs ofstudents and paying more attention to（on）experiment. Consequently, this development increase（改成has improved） students' ability to consider and critique,and enable（enables） students to undertake careerpositions.

Admittedly, though i believe that teachingshould be given presence over research, I would（改成can会好一点）not deny the importance of research. Through solving the existed toughproblems, such as a solution to storage of solar energy and a cure for cancer,professor might make important breakthroughs, which is beneficial for（to） the society. However, as a student, from my perspective, i assertthat the teaching role should be more important. 这段让步感觉有点为了让步而让步的感觉，要不然就是纯让步，说的少一点，要么就说出你反对这种说法的理由，这样说理效果更好

In nutshell（地道！）, the teaching roles of professors benefit the development ofstudents and the entire education. It should be given more emphasis overresearch. But it doesn't（does not，托福写作不让缩写） mean that professor neglecttheir research roles. 最后一段把个文章的基调都变了，前面都说的是一边倒，就算是让步段都说了还是认为教书更重要，最后一段总结最好不要让步啊，XDF的老师说，老外更喜欢一边倒的例子，就算是你两个观点都要说，也要分情况说，比如在XXX情况下教书更重要，while在YYY情况下研究更重要。

最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！

acrophobiahy

8.8 独立我是错误君 我是没错但是改了更好君 我是文章结构建议君 我是写的赞！

最后一段把个文章的基调都变了，前面都说的是一边倒，就算是让步段都说了还是认为教书更重要，最后一段总结最好不要让步啊，XDF的老师说，老外更喜欢一边倒的例子，就算是你两个观点都要说，也要分情况说，比如在XXX情况下教书更重要，while在YYY情况下研究更重要。

最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！

-- by 会员 gre呀gre (2012/8/9 22:15:33)

谢谢你的批改，很相信，有很多值得我学习的～～
另外，有几点希望和你讨论一下

Firstand foremost, the teaching roles ofprofessors make a great difference to（in） thedevelopmentof their students.
这里的to使用正确。以下为例
What you havetold me may make adifference tomy own position.

live;">你告诉我的一切，可能影响我自己的看法live;">。live;">

acrophobiahy

8.8 独立我是错误君 我是没错但是改了更好君 我是文章结构建议君 我是写的赞！


最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！

-- by 会员 gre呀gre (2012/8/9 22:15:33)

All of these are beneficial forstudents in their further study and work.
这里使用for还是to， 我仍不是很清楚。不应该是bebeneficial for sb to do sth 么？

acrophobiahy

8.8 独立我是错误君 我是没错但是改了更好君 我是文章结构建议君 我是写的赞！

最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！

-- by 会员 gre呀gre (2012/8/9 22:15:33)

Anevent, happened in 1980s, canillustrate（事件本身不能举例啊，举例的必须是人，改成canbe usedto illustrate） thispointvery well.

A simple example will serve to illustrate the point.
	live;">一个简单的例子可以说明这一点。live;"> live;">

[tr]  [td][/td]  [td]  

 

-- 来源 -- 英汉 - 辞典例句

 [/td]  [/tr]

guodonghu

8.8 独立我是错误君我是没错但是改了更好君我是文章结构建议君我是写的赞！


最后的最后，妹纸，我感觉你的冠词用的不是很好啊，感觉分不太清a/an和the的区别，建议花半个小时加强一下这块儿~ 写的挺好的，加油！

-- by 会员 gre呀gre (2012/8/9 22:15:33)

All of these are beneficial forstudents in their further study and work.
这里使用for还是to，我仍不是很清楚。不应该是bebeneficial for sb to do sth 么？

-- by 会员 acrophobiahy (2012/8/9 22:57:46)

beneficial to sb/sth  
TO do sth is beneficial to sb.
酱紫的

acrophobiahy

You can know a lot about aperson through the types of friends this person has?
In our life, what is more important than knowing people whomatters to us most? If we can know their mind and thoughts better, there is nodoubt that we not only make our life better but also the life of the personaround us. In our personal life, we can bring peace and happiness only byunderstanding our loved ones. In our professional life, we can motive ourcolleagues and team to achieve the goal of the organizations only by properlyunderstanding them. But the essential problem with discussing is whether we canknow a lot about a person through observing what type of friends he accompanywith? From my perspective, it is might be a misleading way to assess a person'scharacter and identity.
First and foremost, we cannot know a person merely in termsof the type of his or her friends, in that each individual has his or her owncriterion of making friends. Some people prefer to make friends with those whohave some similar aspects with them, while others might like to make friendswith people who possess some admirable qualities that can compensate their disadvantages.Having no idea about what kind of person he or she belongs to, it is reallytough to perceive his or her personality just based on the information abouthis or her friends.
In addition, even though we have known what kind of personone belongs to, information about his or her friends just provides clues for usto speculate his or her character and identity. Without further confirmation,we cannot assert that what we are expecting is the truth. Sometimes, relyingheavily on the information might even mislead you. An example in archaeologycan illustrate this point very well. A recent discovery reveals that the mainsubject of a cave in Sahara Desert is hippo, an animal which has to live nearadequate water resource year round. According to the fact, some archaeologistshypothesize that Sahara Desert may used to be a place abounding with waterresources. However, what if the paintings were actually drew by people who hadtravelled back for other place, and happened to see some hippos on theway?  Only people at that time knew thetruth.
Last but not least, in order to know about a person, despiteobserving what type of friends he accompanies with, we should focus most ourattention on some other factors. For example, we can tell a lot about aperson's character by observing the individual's ability to tell the truth andto commit. Also, we should pay attention to his attitude, and whether it ispositive or negative, try to distinguish how it impacts his life.
In a nutshell, I assert that it is impossible to know a lotabout a person, solely citing the information about the types of his friends,for we have no idea about his criterion of making friends. Besides, the truthinessmay out of our speculation. So, in order to understand a person, we should alsopay some other information.

acrophobiahy

tpo 7
The lecturer claims that the United States can attractcustomers by receiving ecocertification. However, the claim is no in agreementwith the statement in the reading passage.
First of all, based on the fact that customers are exposedto too much advertising, the writer assumes without justification that theywill not value the ecocertification label. However, the lecturer points outthat customers would not treat all advertising the same, and they are able todistinguish the advertising made by companies for their own products andcertification issued by independent international organizations. If it is thecase, customers will trust the ecocertification label.
In addition, according to the result of a study, price determinescustomers' decision, only when the competing product is much higher or lower inprice. The lecturer argues that if there is little difference in price,customers will choose product on other factors, and customers preserve thevalue of protecting environment.
Finally, the lecture raises the issue that it is foreigncompetition that force American wood companies to keep up with the rest of theworld.  If American companies fail toattract the customers, who is interested in ecocertified wood products, foreigncompanies will take the advantage to enter the American market.
In a nutshell, the ideas made in the lecture contrast thepoints in the reading passage, which tend to prove the statement that UnitedStates is unlikely to receive ecocertification to attract customers.

chasedreamabc

The lecturer claims that the United States can attractcustomers by receiving ecocertification. However, the claim is no in agreementwith the statement in the reading passage.

First of all, based on the fact that customers are exposedto too much advertising, the writer assumes without justification that theywill not value the ecocertification label. However, the lecturer points outthat customers would not treat all advertising the same, and they are able todistinguish the advertising made by companies for their own products andcertification issued by independent international organizations. If it is thecase, customers will trust the ecocertification label.

In addition, according to the result of a study, price(n.不能单独使用)determinescustomers' decision, only when the competing product is much higher or lower inprice. The lecturer argues(这段只表达了一个意思用不到argue) that if there is little difference in price, customers will choose product( n.不能单独使用) on other factors, and customers preserve thevalue of protecting environment.(没有显示出阅读的内容)

Finally, the lecture raises the issue that it is foreigncompetition that force American wood companies to keep up with the rest of theworld.If American companies fail toattract the customers, who is interested in ecocertified wood products, foreigncompanies will take the advantage to enter the American market.

In a nutshell, the ideas made in the lecture contrast thepoints in the reading passage, which tend to prove the statement that UnitedStates is unlikely to receive ecocertification to attract customers.

PS:注意一下拼写,听力部分尽量使用原词,比如第三层的interested, offering ecocertified wood,第二层不全less than five percent

gre呀gre

8.9独立In our life, what is more important thanknowing people who matters to us most? If we can know their mind and thoughtsbetter, there is no doubt that we not only make （not only 放到这）ourlife better but also the life of the person around us. In our personal life, wecan bring peace and happiness only by understanding our loved ones. In ourprofessional life, we can motive our colleagues and team to achieve the goal ofthe organizations only by properly understanding them. But the essentialproblem with discussing is whether we can know a lot about a person throughobserving what type of friends he accompany with?（句号） From my perspective, it ismight be a misleading way to assess a person's character and identity.


First and foremost, we cannot know a personmerely in terms of the type of his or her friends,in（for） that each individual has his or her own criterion of makingfriends. Some people prefer to make friends with those who have some similaraspects with them, while others might like to make friends with people whopossess some admirable qualities that can compensate their disadvantages. Havingno idea about what kind of person he or she belongs to, it is really tough toperceive his or her personality just based on the information about his or herfriends.

In addition, even though we have known what（我觉得改成which好一点） kind of person one belongs to, information about his or her friendsjust provides clues for us to speculate his or her character and identity.Without further confirmation, we cannot assert that what we are expecting isthe truth. Sometimes, relying heavily on the information might even misleadyou. An example in archaeology can illustrate this point very well. A recentdiscovery reveals that the main subject of a cave in Sahara Desert is hippo, ananimal that has to live near adequate water resource year round. According tothe fact, some archaeologists hypothesize that Sahara Desert may used to be aplace abounding with water resources. However, what if the paintings wereactually drew by people who had travelled back for other place, and happened tosee some hippos on the way?  Only peopleat that time knew the truth. 虽然例子能很好的支持Sometimes,relying heavily on the information might even mislead you. 但是题目问的是friend，给出一个更好的关于朋友的例子会更直接

Last but not least, in order to know abouta person, despite（改成rather than更好） observingwhat type of friends he accompanies with, we should focus most our attention onsome other factors. For example, we can tell a lot about a person's characterby observing the individual's ability to tell the truth and to commit. Also, weshould pay attention to his attitude, and whether it is positive or negative,try to distinguish how it impacts his life.

In a nutshell, I assert that it isimpossible to know a lot about a person, solely citing the information aboutthe types of his friends, for we have no idea about his criterion of makingfriends. Besides, the truth iness（想说内在的？没查到你想说的词- -） mayout of our speculation. So, in order to understand a person, we should also paysome other information.

acrophobiahy

To improve the quality of education，universities should spendmore money on professors' salaries.
1. 加强老师的教学技能　2.激发学生的兴趣      3.学校的设备
It is undeniable that the quality of education is closely linked with the development of students, universities and even the society as a whole, and it is a topic of endless discussion. When it comes to the question whether universities should spend more money on professors' salaries, some people strongly support it, thinking it is an effective way to raise professors' enthusiasm on teaching. However, from my perspective, i think the amount of salaries is not equal to the quality of teaching, and universities should invest the money in some more meaningful areas.
First and foremost, though increasing salaries might motivate professors' enthusiasm to some extent, it cannot improve their teaching qualities noticeably. To improve the quality of education, universities should provide professors more opportunities to develop their teaching skills. Since 1980s, when the teaching quality came under increased scrutiny, Studies, such as Wingspreads Report, have outlines the shortcomings of educational quality.  Some professors have been devoting themselves to investigate the failures and have developed some new approaches to revitalizing teaching effectiveness, such as placing an emphasis on individual needs of students and paying more attention to experiment. Universities should spend more money on teaching training projects, and help professors to learn about these achievements in education and apply these effective methods into their own teaching. In this case, spending more money to develop professors' teaching skills is more meaningful than increasing their salaries.
In addition, it is also worthwhile to equip universities with some sophisticated facilities. Students and professor should not confine their study in textbook. By contrast, they should broaden their mind by keep track of the current development in their field. So it's necessary for them to have an easy access to a vast resource of information. Universities should be responsible to create such an opportunity by building up modernized libraries and providing a fast-speed internet service in campus. Besides, universities should also set up some laboratories to assist professors and students to do research.  With these useful facilities, it would be convenient for the improvement of education quality.
Last but not least, the initiative of students also plays a significant role in improving the quality of education, so universities should invest more money on financial aid for needy students. Nowadays, many college students have part-time jobs because of high price of tuition.  In order to improve the quality of education, Students should concentrate more on their school work without worries about college cost and tuition. With the help of financial aid, students can concentrate more on their studies and then they will demand higher education to improve their study levels. Eventually, the quality of education is improved by the effort of students studying very hard.

In a nutshell, to improve the quality of education, it is not a sagacious method to spend more money on professors' salaries. More importantly, universities should develop professors' teaching skills, offer more necessary facilities and provide financial aid for needy students.