【写作小分队】易雨水巷的作文贴~求大地震式的轰炸~thx

易雨水巷

5月14日11.12.17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is impossible to be completely honest with your friends.

Undoubtly, honesty is one of the most precious virtues in our society and people are usually inclined to be angry when they found their friends lie to them.  In this case, it seems that one is supposed to be honest with friends. Nonetheless, the reality tells us that it is impossible to be entirely honest with friends and my reasons are as follows.

First and foremost, lies not always mean a bad thing. That is to say,  in a couple of circumstances,  since the truth will put our friends into troubles while a white lie is a sort of good approach to protect our friends,  we would better  to tell a white lie instead of the harmful truth. Take my own case as an example. Several days ago, Lucy told me a secret and asked me not to tell anyone else. Subsequently, another friend Lily attempted to dig out the secret. I said nothing but it was also a myth to me. In my opinion, in this case, I ought to say a white lie for the sake of keeping Lucy's secret and meanwhile minimizing the influence on my friendship with Lily.

In addition, just as an ancient Chinese saying goes, " Report the good news but not the bad". In other word, faced with problems, people may have that everything is going on well as answer to greeting rather than worrying their friends.  An example can be found in this case.  Robert once got a serious cold and he just sent me a message saying he had to go to Hawaii for a week to attend his sister's wedding. Actually, I know the fact until he returned to school that he was in hospital.  He explained to me that he did so in order to avoid making me worried.

Admittedly, honesty plays an important role in a friendship. Defeat may lead to a friendship breaking up. For example, Amy with Candy used to be intimate friends. However, there is still some cases are out of expectation. One day, Amy found the truth that Candy treated her like a sister is because of her wealthy family. As a result, Amy could not be tolerate with Candy’s defeat and never said a word with Amy since then. Thus, from my perspective, we ought to be honest to cultivate a friendship except for several special situations.

In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, there is no denying I stands up for the assertion that that it is impossible to be absolutely honest with friends. After all, white lies may protect our friends as well as not worry them.

sang824

Undoubtly, honesty is one of the most precious virtues in our society and people are usually inclined to be angry when they found their friends lie to them.  In this case, it seems that one is supposed to be honest with friends. Nonetheless, the reality tells us that it is impossible to be entirely honest with friends and my reasons are as follows.

First and foremost, lies not always mean a bad thing. That is to say,  in a couple of circumstances,  since the truth will put our friends into troubles(put into trouble的搭配感觉不对，可以改成bring sb trouble) while a white lie is a sort of good approach to protect our friends,  we would better  to tell a white lie instead of the harmful truth. Take my own case as an example. Several days ago, Lucy told me a secret and asked me not to tell anyone else. Subsequently, another friend Lily attempted to dig out the secret. I said nothing but it was also a myth to me.(不太明白，是不是although i knew the truth的意思？) In my opinion, in this case, I ought to say a white lie for the sake of keeping Lucy's secret and meanwhile minimizing the influence on my friendship with Lily.

In addition, just as an ancient Chinese saying goes, " Report the good news but not the bad". In other word, faced with problems, people may have(?) that everything is going on well as answer to greeting rather than worrying their friends.这句话没有看懂...  An example can be found in this case.  Robert once got a serious cold and he just sent me a message saying that
he had to go to Hawaii for a week to attend his sister's wedding.Actually(这个词用在这里不合适，换成转折意味强一点的however?), I know the fact until he returned to school that he was in hospital(i know the fact about his illness until he retruned school).  He explained to me that he did so in order to avoid making me worried.

Admittedly, honesty plays an important role in a friendship. Defeat(Deceit) may lead to a friendship breaking up(lead a friendship to break up). For example, Amy with Candy used to be intimate friends. However, there is are still some cases are out of expectation. One day, Amy found the truth that Candy treated her like a sister isdoes because of her wealthy family. As a result, Amy could not be tolerate with Candy’s defeat(deceit) and never said a word with Amy her since then. Thus, from my perspective, we ought to be honest to cultivate a friendship except for several special situations.


In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, there is no denying I stands up for the assertion that that it is impossible to be absolutely honest with friends. After all, white lies may protect our friends as well as not worry them.

水巷的例子好丰富吖嘿嘿
结构很不错的，短时间能写出来真棒
记得留出时间检查~~

易雨水巷

感谢sang&探险者的修改，
抽出时间来修改O(∩_∩)O~

易雨水巷

11.2.12 ML Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Now everywhere is so busy and crowded that being polite is unnecessary. 这种题目写起来真纠了个结

With the population increasing, it seems that the society become busy and crowded. Thus, some people may assert that being polite literally is a less essential party compared with other things such as rushing to work, dealing with a difficulty and so forth. Nevertheless, from my perspective, being polite is still required and the following reasons can support my statement.

To begin with, people cannot drop the tradition virtue-courtesy which they in heritage from ancestors. That is to say, courtesy is one of the precious heritages. Forefathers developed this virtue after thousands practice. Being politeness must be so essential that forefathers maintained it. Thus, people ought to pass on this virtue instead of eliminating it. This shows respects for ancestors as well. This is the first reason why I do not agree with the assertion that now everywhere is so busy and crowded that being polite is unnecessary.

What is better, being polite does well to the harmony of the society and contributes to resume order out of chaos. A good example can be sought in this case. Our class once felled into disorder and everyone was busy with their own business and seemed to be strangers between each other. In a word, there is no politeness but chaos. Nonetheless, thanks to our new teacher, Lucy, we could be released from such a disorder world. She said Thank you every time anyone handed in homework. Good morning is what she said the first sentence before she started class on Thursday. Because of her influence, we began to show our politeness to others and our busy senior high life was full filled with sweet memory as opposed to busy and indifferent classmates.

Admittedly, objectors may declare that courtesy is an extravagant hope in such a busy as well as crowed world. Because people are so busy that they cannot squeeze out time to become a polite individual. However, in my opinion, on the contrary, being polite is further necessary under this circumstance. It is never too important to give a greeting. For example, people are supposed to say a good morning, excusing me or even just a hello at any time. Anyway, it just costs several minutes but creates a beautiful world full of politeness.

To sum up, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I can comfortably come to the conclusion that it is still necessary yet everywhere is busy and crowded.

584257720

高色高亮是亮点，红色是修改，绿色是个人意见。

The reading material talks (about)three measures used to prevent cane toads' spread in Australia. However, the professor in the listening passage contradicts the reading and claims these measures are unsuccessful and cause environment(al) damage.(观点提取很准确到位~赞一个！)


To begin with, the professor explores(个人感觉explore 怪怪的，用contend吧~) that the national fence in the reading functionsa little（这里强调作用不大，反面语气强调地更多一些，个人认为删掉a可能程度更准确些）. Young cane toads(as well as toad eggs) are able to get through the national fence and flow（travel from） one side to another aswith a stream. This is a point where the professor refutes the writer.


In addition, the listening, casts doubt on the advantage of volunteers(advantage of sb. 容易让人误读为某人的优点，水巷想表达的应是雇佣志愿者所可能带来的实际效果这个意思吧~容我改为：effectiveness if volunteers are employed to capture and destroy cane toads as author mentions in the reading). The professor holds a view that these untrained volunteers are likely to destroy toads and it is a danger（这里可能有些听力点雨巷没有记下来:因当地频临灭绝的frog和toad不好辨认，易误抓）. Although it is possible for volunteers to catch toads, the native, endangered frogs, which resemble toads in appearance, are sometimes caught by mistake.Anyway, in light of the lecture, it is difficult for untrained volunteer to gather toad eggs.(个人觉得听力里面将的是可以抓Toad，但易错抓Frog,删去吧~至于要不要再来一个本段总结，zero认为看时间分配吧~)



（整合下修改后的整段：In addition, the listening, casts doubt on the effectiveness if volunteers are employed to capture and destroy cane toads as author mentions in the reading. Although it is possible for volunteers to catch toads, the native, endangered frogs, which resemble toads in appearance, are sometimes caught by mistake. In this respect, the professor weakens the strength of the second proposal.）


Thirdly, the reading asserts the spread of the can(cane) toads can be prevented by a disease-causing virus. Nevertheless, on contrary,(nevertheless, contrary短语二者选其一，on contrary-> on the contrary) the speaker asserts（assert没问题，但本段开头用了，这就换个词吧~emphasizes）that the virus will do harm to Australia's environment. It will destroy the population of cane road. It is a disaster for cane road, one of the native species of Australia.（这段写的不好，听力点没找准~Zero在听的时候也很迷惘这一段听力，逻辑性比较强。再次解释下：阅读里面提到由于这种依靠病毒防治种群扩张的方法对澳大利亚的除toad以外的动物都没有影响，故阅读认为可防澳洲的toad。听力说道：对澳洲无害，但对美洲有害。这些带菌体可能跟随研究人员或者宠物饲养者去了美洲，而正巧toad是原产美洲的物种，那么美洲当地的toad会被感染，会灭绝，生态会破坏。）
(zero重写了该句，请见谅：Nevertheless, the speaker emphasizes that despite this kind of virus is harmless in Australia, it will destroy toads of America when animals infected by such virus are brought there. Under such circumstance, Central and South America loses its eco-balance.)


To sum up, the professor casts doubt on（同样没问题，但换个词吧challenges） the writer from three aspects. This also(and ) indicates what is mentioned in the reading is open to doubt.

总结：发上来迟了，请见谅哦!
写作问题不大哦，结构都很OK, 主要问题和水巷自己说的一样，是听力啦~不过这个TPO的听力也比较难~多多练习就好起来的`

易雨水巷

5月16日11.2.26 ML Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people have no influence on the decisions that determine the future of the society as a whole.



Recently a public topic has been brought into our eye that weather or not the young impacts the determinations that are closely associated with the future of the world by and large. People from all walks of life hold different attitudes toward this issue. Some thinks that teenagers are too young to influence these determinations. Nevertheless, from my perspective, I definitely fall into the opposite contention that young people in deed plays an important role in determining the future of the society. My statement can be proved by the following reasons.

First and foremost, juveniles are the future of the society and they are supposed to participate in discussions about the society's future. That is to say, youngsters are the host of the society in future. Since that, why do we still close the door on youngsters when determining the society’s future? My country does well in this aspect. Our state advocates that "China will be strong if the young is strong."  The government spares no effort to make youngsters be prepared for the future, such as promoting the education, selecting excellent adolescents as represents to attend vital meetings and so forth. Thus, in this way, young people impact a lot the future of my country.

In addition, so creative are young people that they are beneficial for the development of the society. Generally speaking, youngsters come up with novel ideas and bring new vigor and vitality into the world. There is no denying that this is one of the approaches they impacts the world. For instance, World Federation of Democratic Youth found in November, 1945, took the advantage of their wits to unit together and help fight against fascist. Under this circumstance, how come we deny their contributions on safeguarding the world peace?

Admittedly, it seems that literally adolescents are so immature individuals that they are unable to make effects on the society's future. In contrast, in my opinion, youngsters are thoughtful to tell things or events which contribute to the society and which do not. A good example is not far to seek, when the destroying earthquake hit Wenchuan, thousands of young people flood into the stricken area and did everything to rescue regardless of their own lives.

In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I definitely stand up for the assertion that adolescents in fact affect the determinations that decides the future of the society more or less.

易雨水巷

TO 5842 谢谢你如此详细的修改哦，收益很大

蝴蝶渡海

Recently a public topic has been brought into our eye that weather or not(可以将or not 去掉weather已经是是否的意思了加上or not是有点多余的) the young impacts the determinations that are closely associated with the future of the world by and large. People from all walks of life hold different attitudes toward this issue. Some thinks（think） that teenagers are too young to influence these determinations. Nevertheless, from my perspective, I definitely fall into the opposite contention that young people in deed plays（play）an important role in determining the future of the society. My statement can be proved by the following reasons.

First and foremost, juveniles are the future of the society and they are supposed to participate in discussions about the society's future. That is to say, youngsters are the host of the society in future. Since that, why do we still close the door on youngsters when determining the society’s future? My country does well in this aspect. Our state advocates that "China
will be strong if the young is strong." The government spares no effort to make youngsters be（应该去掉be） prepared for the future, such as promoting the education, selecting excellent adolescents as represents to attend vital meetings and so forth. Thus, in this way, young people impact a lot the future of my country.

In addition, so creative are young people that they are beneficial for the development of the society. Generally speaking, youngsters come up with novel ideas and bring new vigor and vitality into the world. There is no denying that this is one of the approaches they impacts the world. For instance, World Federation of Democratic Youth found in November, 1945, took the advantage of their wits to unit together and help（helped） fight against fascist. Under this circumstance, how come（此处是can么？否则有点不太明白） we deny their contributions on safeguarding the world peace?

Admittedly, it seems that literally adolescents are so immature individuals that they are unable to make effects on the society's future. In contrast, in my opinion, youngsters are thoughtful to tell things or events which contribute to the society and which do not（去掉and which do not）. A good example is not far to seek, when the destroying earthquake hit Wenchuan, thousands of young people flood into the stricken area and did everything to rescue regardless of their own lives.

In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I definitely stand up for the assertion that adolescents in fact affect the determinations that decides the future of the society more or less.




整体文章思路结构都不错，有些句式也是亮点，值得学习，感觉大的毛病已经没有了，也可能是由于我长时间不写对这些长难句陌生了而没有批改出来。小词组和大量的例子的运用也是文章更有说服力。改掉的不对的地方跟我说一下吧，大家共同进步，加油！

易雨水巷

5月17日11.5.14 ML It was easier for people in the past to identify which type of career or job would have a secure or successful future.

With the society developing quickly, there are increasing new jobs in contemporary world than in the past. People from all walks of life hold different attitudes towards this phenomenon. Some assert that people in the past are more likely to find a career to ensure a successful future. However, from my perspective, I am favorable of the opposite contention because of the following reasons.

First and foremost, living in a modern society, people have equal right when pursuing a vacation. Or rather, women in the past had no choice but to do housework at home such as cultivation a baby, washing clothes and so on, whereas modern women are released from the traditional doctrine and free to have a work on the basis of capability. What is more, a recent research support this statement as well according to The Career Research Center, which shows that 90% views that  they are more likely to have a satisfying jobs than in the past.

In addition, since the government reduces the strict rules, nowadays people owns a more possible chance to indentify which sort of career or job guarantying a secure or successful future. A good example is not far to seek. In the Qing dynasty, because of these rigor rules such as "Ban on foreign trade", merchants hardly survived. Nonetheless, thanks to the reform and opening up，not only merchants are able to make a deal with foreign, but also,  people from other walks of life like teachers are permitted to change their jobs and start a company.  

Admittedly, the opposed may declare that with ample jobs in front, contemporary human beings are inclined to lose themselves and could not decide to take which type of jobs. Nevertheless, on the contrary, I cast doubts on this assertion due to reasons. First, in he past, the only approach to get a secure future is to spare no efforts to study for decades to attend the civil examination. What is worse, it is extremely possible to let one's pain passed without vain. In contrast, in a modern society, if people are not adept at studying in school, they are allowed to choose to be a computer engineers, racing driver and so forth.

In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I definitely stands up for the statement that it is easier for people in the contemporary society to identify which type of vacations would contributes to a brilliant future.

包子不包子

With the society developing quickly, there are is an increasing number of newjobs in contemporary world than in the past. People from all walks of life hold different attitudes towards this phenomenon. Some assert that people in the past are more likely to find a career to ensure a successful future. However, from my perspective, I am favorable of the opposite contention because of the following reasons. 总是不敢写这样的开头嘞  会影响分数不啊

First and foremost, living in a modern society, people have equal right when pursuing a vacation. Or rather, women in the past had no choice but to do housework at home such as cultivation a baby, washing clothes and so on, whereas modern women are released from the traditional doctrine and free to have a work on the basis of capability. What is more, a recent research support this statement as well according to The Career Research Center, which shows that 90% views that they are more likely to have a satisfying jobs than in the past.

In addition, since the government reduces the strict rules, nowadays people owns a more possible chance to indentify which sort of career or job guarantying a secure or successful future. A good example is not far to seek. In the Qing dynasty, because of these rigor rules such as "Ban on foreign trade", merchants hardly survived. Nonetheless, thanks to the reform and opening up，not only merchants are able to make a deal with foreign, but also, people from other walks of life like teachers are permitted to change their jobs and start a company.

Admittedly, the opposed may declare that with ample jobs in front, contemporary human beings are inclined to lose themselves and could not decide to take which type of jobs. Nevertheless, on the contrary, I cast doubts on this assertion due to reasons. First, in he past, the only approach to get a secure future is to spare no efforts to study for decades to attend the civil examination. What is worse, it is extremely possible to let one's pain passed without vain没看懂啊 嘿嘿. In contrast, in a modern society, if people are not adept at studying in school, they are allowed to choose to be a computer engineers, racing driver and so forth.

In a nutshell, taken what I have mentioned above into consideration, I definitely stands up for the statement that it is easier for people in the contemporary society to identify which type of vacations would contributes to a brilliant future.

没什么大问题啦
例证想得真好 感觉自己写的好生硬 学习学习