【写作小分队の探险者】5.20 托福 求狠拍

探险者

4月23日10211 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

With the advent of teenagers' participation in the social settings, it is incredible that we adolescents may make mistakes, which range from missing important details of a research project to rudely talking to the elder. Some parents are afraid that their kids might be addicted into some negative lure like drugs, and thus they overprotect them from making any mistakes. However, going through some difficulties due to wrongdoings is an irreplaceable experience at certain stage of age. Clearly, it makes sense that parents make their kids learn from their own mistakes.



Indeed, even though teenagers have to experience mistakes and get a lesson from that, parents' direction is remarkably incredible. For one thing, careful and devoted parents are always there to support us, no matter what mistakes we have made. Some parents have been dedicate themselves into their kids' upbringing for several years, keeping them from going astray and teaching them meaningful value. Also, adolescents won't feel uneasy in front of their parents, although they have cause some terrible events. No one has to worry about not being perfect among their immediate family. Finally, nothing can be more useful than the guidance given by our parents. Undoubtedly, we can confide in and discuss our terrible behaviors, which consolidates the process our personality formation.



More importantly, it is fundamentally significant that the young should suffer from the adversities owing to their terrible performance. To begin with, many different mistakes may occur during our research process, and that helps to incorporate what we are actually experiencing into what we have acquired from textbooks. Obviously, students are not passive receptacles of predigested knowledge, namely that they had better grasp provoking thoughts through training. For instance, if a student hasn't met any misleading during his experiment, his ideas from printed books will stopped to be effective whenever he's encountering something wrong. Aside from the difference between operating and learning, students may have difficulties getting along with their companions when dealing with a group project, which is common among the contemporary youths. Supposed a student may express some inappropriate behaviors or evaluations to his colleagues, he will have go through such adversity and be experienced coping with it. Apparently, adolescents have to grasp such opportunities of awful performance to enhance their working and searching experience, which would lead to their promotion in their career path.



Survey results have consistently shown that students who take advanced subjects and experience failures of those exams are more likely to get excellent grade in university. This is because tough terms, complicated ideas and the striking depression make students more mentally spurred in their studies and effectively motivate them to utilize as many resources and methods as possible to meet those challenges. Also, the more mistakes they learn from, the more perspectives they may attain to come up with new ideas, which will definitely facilitate the progression of their critical thinking abilities. Further, the experience of conquering such adversities and involving their own profound and refreshed standpoints will boost ones' self-confidence and enhance their self-esteem. Eventually, learning from your wrongdoings will pay off both intellectually and emotionally.



Overall, one the one hand, parents' involvement and protection may support us with consolidated affection and keep us from addiction to impolite and harmful behaviors; on the other hand, with the examples above I want to illustrate that mistakes is not just something depressed, but promote you to enhance your capacity and consolidate yourself to be welfare.


4月23日TPO19

In the reading passage, the author explores that buzzing has led to many controversy, while the lecturer who are working as a buzzer contradicts that opinion. And the lecturer supports his ideas with three justifications.



To begin with, the author of the reading thinks that people who are paid to advertise a product may mislead the consumers. In contrast, the speaker is opposed to that. Since companies find people who are the user of their products and think highly of that to be buzzers. Even though they are paid to plug the product, they are not the same as ordinary advertisements--that is, buzzers will tell customers the truth because they really think the product to be great.



Also, the reading identifies that consumers may listen to their evaluations less critically, which may be not true. Customers will certainly ask buzzers a lot of questions, such as the price, whether they use the product or not and how long they have been using it. If they cannot get satisfied answers, they won't buy it.



Finally, the lecturer refutes the idea that it is buzzers who do harm to social relationships. To be a buzzer, one person is both sincere and has good products. Additionally, buzzers are so experienced that they looked trustful and are opened to their customers.






4月23日TPO19

In the reading passage, the author explores that buzzing has led to many controversy, while the lecturer who are working as a buzzer contradicts that opinion. And the lecturer supports his ideas with three justifications.



To begin with, the author of the reading thinks that people who are paid to advertise a product may mislead the consumers. In contrast, the speaker is opposed to that. Since companies find people who are the user of their products and think highly of that to be buzzers. Even though they are paid to plug the product, they are not the same as ordinary advertisements--that is, buzzers will tell customers the truth because they really think the product to be great.



Also, the reading identifies that consumers may listen to their evaluations less critically, which may be not true. Customers will certainly ask buzzers a lot of questions, such as the price, whether they use the product or not and how long they have been using it. If they cannot get satisfied answers, they won't buy it.



Finally, the lecturer refutes the idea that it is buzzers who do harm to social relationships. To be a buzzer, one person is both sincere and has good products. Additionally, buzzers are so experienced that they looked trustful and are opened to their customers.

Crystaljoy

看完你给他人的几篇互改，想说：


认真的探险者会高飞！

易雨水巷

sorry 还没有给你改昨天的综合T.T,还在上课!请允许我晚上完成,抱歉了。

lxyuan2001

4月23日10211 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.

With the advent of teenagers' participation in the social settings, it is incredible that we adolescents may make mistakes so frequently（加上好像顺一点), which range from missing important details of a research project to rudely talking to the elderly. Some parents are afraid that their kids might be addicted into some negative（这个搭配不常用， fatal更好一些） lure like drugs, and thus they overprotect them from making any mistakes. However, going through some difficulties due to wrongdoings is an irreplaceable experience at certain stage of age. Clearly, it makes sense that parents make their kids learn from their own mistakes.



Indeed, even though teenagers have to experience mistakes and get a lesson from that, parents' direction is remarkably incredibleessential(incredible之前用过，并且在这里你要表现的应该是重要，而不是“不可思议”). For one thing, careful and devoted parents are always there to support us, no matter what mistakes we have made. Some parents have been dedicated themselves into their kids' upbringing for several years, keeping them from going astray(用在这里真是awesome!) and teaching them meaningful value. Also, adolescents won't feel uneasy in front of their parents, although they have caused some terrible events troubles. No one has to worry about not being perfect(or ‘being imperfect’) among their immediate family. Finally, nothing can be more useful(helpful) than the guidance given by our parents. Undoubtedly, we can confide in and discuss our terrible behaviors, which consolidate the process of our personality formation. (这段可能和你的中心思想有点相悖，题目着重在问家长是不是应该允许孩子犯错从而吸取教训，你的中心思想是应该允许。但是这段却说家长的指导很有必要，所以我迷茫了。。。。)



More importantly, it is fundamentally significant that the young should suffer from the adversities owing to their terrible performance. To begin with, many different mistakes may occur during our research process, and that helps to incorporate what we are actually experiencing into what we have acquired from textbooks. Obviously, students are not passive receptacles of predigested knowledge, namely that they had better grasp provoking thoughts through training. For instance, if a student hasn't met any misleading （缺谓语，可以加上phenomenon） during his experiment, his ideas from printed books will stopped to be effective whenever he's encountering something wrong. Aside from the difference between operating and learning（承上启下）, students may have difficulties getting along with their companions when dealing with a group project, which is common among the contemporary youths. Supposed （that） a student may express some inappropriate behaviors or evaluations to his colleagues, he will have go through such adversity and be experienced coping with it. Apparently, adolescents have to grasp such opportunities of awful performance to enhance their working and searching experience, which would lead to their promotion in their career path.（这段好）



Survey results have consistently shown that students who take advanced subjects and experience failures of those exams are more likely to get excellent grade in university. This is because tough terms, complicated ideas and the striking depression make students more mentally spurred in their studies and effectively motivate them to utilize as many resources and methods as possible to meet（overcome） those challenges. Also, the more mistakes they learn from, the more perspectives they may attain to come up with new ideas, which will definitely facilitate the progression of their critical thinking abilities. Further, the experience of conquering such adversities and involving their own profound and refreshed standpoints will boost ones' self-confidence and enhance their self-esteem（这个和boost self-confidence重合了）. Eventually, learning from your wrongdoings will pay off both intellectually and emotionally.



Overall, one the one hand, parents' involvement and protection may support us with consolidated affection（猜你想说的是坚固的感情，不如直接用solid affection） and keep us from addiction to impolite and harmful behaviors; on the other hand, with the examples above I want to illustrate that mistakes is not just something depressed(depressing), but (also something that )promotes you to enhance your capacity and consolidate yourself to be welfare（画线的真不知道啥意思@￥%￥#……%）.





还想再说下你的逻辑问题，首段你持一边到的观点：认为家长应该放任孩子犯错。末段你持两分法，认为家长保护和指导有必要，同时孩子能从犯错中获得好处。这个前后矛盾是很明显的。你这篇文章写到了700多字（30分钟内写得么？牛逼怎两个字了得。。。），其实我认为第二段可以删去，然后第三段分为两段，主题由三个例子撑起（学习知识、与朋友相处、上难课程），最后一总结就够了：）

lxyuan2001

TPO 19, to become well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources.



Our society has witnessed an information boom in recent decades, which is a result of the exponential leap of technology and science, as well as economy. While some people may constantly complained about how many junk emails they receive everyday and how many advertising phone calls they pick up a month, there are other people who have taken advantages of these phenomenon to gather information and find business opportunities. Therefore, it's essential to acquire information from different and updated sources in order to be well-informed.



First of all, making use of different news sources renders the opportunities to compare each piece of information you get and to ensure its accuracy. Take my personal experience as an example.As I was doing internship in an investment bank, one particular thing caught my notice: when some financial incident happened, sales people would always watch the television, go the news website, hold conference calls to exchange opinions, and talk with their clients about their viewpoints. At the beginning I thought this was a huge trouble spending such great amount of time gathering information on one event. Then I realize that what they are doing is trying to compare information of various news sources, to find the difference between each view, and ultimately form their own opinions. This experience enabled me to aware that by accessing to several sources of news information, one can avoid being misled by the perspective of that single article.



Moreover, as the news agencies are more and more specialized, it's imperative to accumulate specific knowledge from several types of newspapers, websites, and TV programs. For example, one may become interested in the overall influence of Afghanistan War and want to conduct a thorough research into this field. He/she not only has to search through the political news website to discover the historical episodes, but also visit biological website to learn about the environmental impacts of the war, and to scan <The Economy> to find out the business influence of the war that have been caused over long run. Consequently, looking into specialized news agencies provide the reader with a comprehensive view of what has happened.



Some people may argue that adapting to several news sources cost time and money, while sticking to single newspaper or website that they rely on is relative convenient. Nevertheless, increasingly severe competition among news agencies is commonplace nowadays and hence causes frequent drop in the quality of the news reported. Therefore, keeping an eye on a wide range of newspaper, websites, and television program provides a platform where one can ensure him/herself be updated with the latest news clips of highest quality.



Based on the discussion above, we can safely draw a conclusion that gathering information from varied news sources are critical to a well-informed person, for the reasons that it helps to build up a comprehensive sense of different aspects of one event, and that it makes sure people acquire high quality and most updated news.

探险者

当时自己写的很纠结。这篇文章写的超时了，也是因为第二段的缘故，总计写了40min。我自己写文章时总想写成让步加正面论证的方式，因此写了第二段，说明了一下家长的指导和帮助有必要，然后再证明孩子要犯错和从中学习。还是要好好考虑一下自己的逻辑问题，写作文时提纲列的简单，所以写的时候有些地方没想好会写偏。
多谢指导啊！！！文章还是要多多修改才好啊

探险者

没关系啦，大家来帮我修改作文，自己觉得这样进步很多，很多自己以往不注重的问题都暴漏了出来
嘿嘿

易雨水巷

红色为错误，蓝色为建议和疑问，高亮为精彩， 绿色为总结
In the reading passage, the author explores that buzzing hasled to many controversy, while the lecturer who are (is) working as abuzzer contradicts that opinion. And the lecturer supports his ideas with three justifications.
To begin with, theauthor of the reading thinks that people who are paid to advertise a productmay mislead the consumers. Incontrast, the speaker is opposed to that. Since companies find peoplewho are the user of their products and think highly of that to be buzzers. Eventhough they are paid to plug the product, they are not the same as ordinaryadvertisements--that is, (另起一句，用That is to say?)buzzers will tell customers the truthbecause they really think the product to be great.

Also, the reading identifies that consumersmay listen to their evaluations less critically, which may be not true.Customers will certainly ask buzzers a lot of questions, such as the price,whether they use the product or not and how long they have been using it. Ifthey cannot get satisfied (修饰answers的吧，用satisfying) answers, theywon't buy it.

Finally, the lecturer refutes the idea that itis buzzers who（who 换成that）do harm tosocial relationships. To be a buzzer, one person is both sincere and has goodproducts. Additionally, buzzers are so experienced that they looked trustfuland are opened to their customers.



To 探险者：与其说易雨水巷在给探险者改综合，不如说易雨水巷在学习呢，探险者的听力听得很全面，词汇变换也很多，易雨水巷觉得很赞了O(∩_∩)O~

探险者

综合写成TPO20的了，不好意思啊

4月24日TPO20

The reading passage explores that people are opposed to the “let it burn” policy, while the lecturer in the listening passage is at the opposite standpoint, supporting her ideas with the real situation after the large scaled fires in Yellowstone of 1988.



First of all, the author of the reading analyzes the tremendous damage due to the Yellowstone fires. However, the instructor identifies that the scorched land will soon be replaced by new plants, which contradicts the reading. Also, the Yellowstone fires give opportunities to smaller plants, who need shade and open place and could not grow before that fire. What’s more, plants that can go through high-level heat appeared after the damaged fire.



In addition, she reckons that the population of wildlife recovered quickly, which refutes the author’s thought. To make things better, small animals like rabbits are offered ideal habitats after the fire, which also benefits the predators. Therefore, the food chain becomes more stronger than that before the fire.



Finally, the lecturer, who challenges the reading passage, thinks that the fires will damage the value of the park only if the fire happens every year, which is unreasonable. Since the weather of that year is unusual with no rainfall and strong wind. On the other hand, tourists came back to the park the next year, and each year after the fire.

4月25日独立

4月25日110708 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you are in need.

Indeed, we are involved in a breakneck speed live which puts recurring psychological and physical pressure on us everyday, and thus having fun with closed friends is an indispensable part of our daily occupation. Nonetheless, closed friendship is not just about having fun and sharing happiness, but involving overcoming difficulties as well. Clearly, it makes sense that making friends that will help you when in trouble.



First of all, having access to your closed friends when you are encountering problems will benefits you a lot. To begin with, loyal friends will support each other, no matter what terrible situation they are faced. Some friendships go through formidable adversities and then last for a long time, leading their relationships to be more meaningful. Also, it is unlikely that we may feel uneasy among our friends, making it available to express our disappointed emotion and ask for suggestion and help. Since no one has to worry about being imperfect when getting along with their friends. Finally, nothing can be more helpful than the advice of a trustworthy friend, who understanding and accompany you to combat the trouble. Undoubtedly, it is such sincere friends that promote us to be well-sounded and reassure your depressed feeling.



Additionally, the company of helpful friends can substitute the absence of your family members, especially for people who are alone pursuing their learning targets. Sometimes a student who is studying far from his hometown will make sincere friends and treat them like their immediate family. They shower on them the care that they might provide their brothers or sisters and receive the comfort and companionship in return. Many students who study alone enjoy that relationship of a terrific friend instead of loved ones who may be at a distance. The friends are just like the family members for them and, because of their supporting and mutual understanding, deserve the same treatment that ones' immediate family might receive.



Admittedly, the benefits of friends to have fun with should not be denied. The increasingly high mental and physical strain due to everyday work will last for many years in terms of the unprecedented progression of the whole society and white-hot competition. Thus, it is essential for us to have some friends to have gatherings and enjoy entertainments regularly. However, that kind of friendship will meet challenges when in difficulties and won't be maintained to be consistent. Apparently, a friend who is enthusiastic and cooperative when you are in need will stick with you whenever you are disappointed with your work.



Overall, even though friends who have a sense of humor and bring you much fun may, to some extent, relieve yourself from your depression due to repeated pressure, it is no wonder that a friend in need will effectively motivate you both emotionally and intellectually, bring about a lifetime and unforgettable friendship.




Indeed, we are involved in a breakneck speed live which puts recurring psychological and physical pressure on us everyday, and thus having fun with closed friends is an indispensable part of our daily occupation. Nonetheless, closed friendship is not just about having fun and sharing happiness, but involving overcoming difficulties as well. Clearly, it makes sense that making friends that will help you when in trouble.



First of all, having access to your closed friends when you are encountering problems will benefits you a lot. To begin with, loyal friends will support each other, no matter what terrible situation they are faced. Some friendships go through formidable adversities and then last for a long time, leading their relationships to be more meaningful. Also, it is unlikely that we may feel uneasy among our friends, making it available to express our disappointed emotion and ask for suggestion and help. Since no one has to worry about being imperfect when getting along with their friends. Finally, nothing can be more helpful than the advice of a trustworthy friend, who understanding and accompany you to combat the trouble. Undoubtedly, it is such sincere friends that promote us to be well-sounded and reassure your depressed feeling.



Additionally, the company of helpful friends can substitute the absence of your family members, especially for people who are alone pursuing their learning targets. Sometimes a student who is studying far from his hometown will make sincere friends and treat them like their immediate family. They shower on them the care that they might provide their brothers or sisters and receive the comfort and companionship in return. Many students who study alone enjoy that relationship of a terrific friend instead of loved ones who may be at a distance. The friends are just like the family members for them and, because of their supporting and mutual understanding, deserve the same treatment that ones' immediate family might receive.



Admittedly, the benefits of friends to have fun with should not be denied. The increasingly high mental and physical strain due to everyday work will last for many years in terms of the unprecedented progression of the whole society and white-hot competition. Thus, it is essential for us to have some friends to have gatherings and enjoy entertainments regularly. However, that kind of friendship will meet challenges when in difficulties and won't be maintained to be consistent. Apparently, a friend who is enthusiastic and cooperative when you are in need will stick with you whenever you are disappointed with your work.



Overall, even though friends who have a sense of humor and bring you much fun may, to some extent, relieve yourself from your depression due to repeated pressure, it is no wonder that a friend in need will effectively motivate you both emotionally and intellectually, bring about a lifetime and unforgettable friendship.

探险者

呵呵，其实改作文本身都是寻找自身不足和学习他人长处的目的，希望大家一起加油。
与君共勉