喵总的作文贴！！跪求大家拍砖=。=

bechasing

4月18日20101105 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Spending money on travelling and vocation is better than saving for future.

Recently, a proverb is widespread on the internet-reading or travelling, one of your body and soul must on tour. As it is, money cannot be worth as it’s value after several years later. Moreover, saving money couldn’t bring the experience and knowledge from the bank account. In my opinion, spending money on travelling and vocation is absolutely better than saving for future.

My main reason, pervasive and persuasive, associates with the point that money is devaluing in the marketing economy all the time, making food and clothes expensive, raising cost of people’s daily life. From the official statistic of Chinese GDP an CPA of this year, we could realize that if we save all of money we have into the bank, one year later, it will devalue 0.7%.that’s to say one thousand yuan will value only 993 yuan next year. Why do we make a unworthy deal which is so obvious?

At the same time, it should also be emphasized that using it to improve your knowledge and experience rather than make the money devalue. All of us need knowledge and experience to face the cruel reality. The more places you visit and people you see, the calmer you will be. What makes the elder seems so brilliant? None other than they faced more affairs. So going outwards to visit somewhere you are attracted, it could teach you something special.

At the first thought, some opponents might claim that if we have some problem surprisingly such as traffic accident. Saving money can help us to solve it. Persuasive as it seems to be, a close analysis would reveal how flimsy it is. In this modern time, finance are developing fast all over the world. Insurance and credit could help us to solve most kinds of economic problem. That’s to say, worring about unpredictable troubles is unnecessary.

In a nutshell, taking into account all these factors, we can safely draw the conclusion that drawing your money from bank, and using it to have a perfect tour. Experience and knowledge are more valuable than it just looks like outside.

-- by 会员 喵喵了个咪 (2012/4/18 20:36:23)

蓝色-词汇句子  红色-语法逻辑
Recently, a proverb iswidespread on the internet-：Rreading or travelling, oneof your body and soul must on tour（犀利，但是与题目无关）. As it is, money cannotbe worth as it’s its value after several years later. Moreover, saving money couldn’t could not bring the experience andknowledge from the bank account. In my opinion, spending money on travellingand vocation is absolutely better than saving for future.
My main reason, pervasiveand persuasive, The pervasiveand persuasive reason associates with the point that money is devaluing in themarketing economy all the time, making food and clothes expensive and rising raising the cost of people’s daily life. From theofficial economic statistics of Chinathis year, Chinese GDP a CPA of this year, we could realize that if wesave all of money we have into the bank, one year later, it will devalue 0.7%. That’s to say one thousand Yuan will value only 993 Yuan next year. Why do we make an unworthy deal which is so obvious?

At the same time, itshould also be emphasized that using it to improve your knowledge andexperience rather thantomake the money devalueis much more desirable/reasonable(注意句子不完整). All of us need knowledge and experience to face thecruel reality. The more places you visit and people you see/meet, the more erudite calmer you willbe. What makes the elder seems so brilliant? None other than the numerous affairs they have faced. they faced moreaffairs. So going outwards to visit somewhere you are attracted, it could teach you somethingspecial.

At the first thought, someopponents might claim thatwhat we should do if we have some unexpected problems surprisingly suchas traffic accident. Saving money can help us to solve it(注意句子不完整). Persuasive as it seems to be, a close analysiswould reveal how flimsy it is. In this modern time, finance is are developing fast all overthe world. Insurance and credit could help us to solve most kinds of economicproblem. That’s to say, worrying about unpredictabletroubles is unnecessary.

In a nutshell, taking intoaccount all these factors, we can safely draw the conclusion that drawing yourmoney from bank, and using it to have a perfect tour is much more feasible (注意句子不完整). Experience and knowledgeare more valuable than ittheyjust looks like outside.

拼写不需要缩写。有一些语法问题，特别要注意一些句子结构的完整性。

喵喵了个咪

4月21日TPO17



The lecture is mainly discussing that the development of agriculture and pesticide don’t have harm as much as passage says that it lead to the decreasing number of birds.



First of all, the speaker thinks that not all kinds of birds cannot living in the city. For example, in lots of urban square, the number of pigeon have a increase tendency. Indeed, there are some hawks living in some city. In contrast, the reading passage believes that area which are suitable for birds to live are decrease. So, the lectures totally disagree with the view made in the reading.



Second, the speaker discusses technology is used into the producing of agriculture production. Less land are used for the agriculture than before in the United States. Contradicting what is stated in the reading that the growth of agriculture will result in the destruction of bird habitats.



Finally, the speakers raises the issue that the new and less toxic pesticide are created. It means that birds will not be injured by the pesticide. What’s more, the biologist also innovated a kind of resistant crop which could reduce the using of pesticide. This point disagrees with the point that increase use of chemical pesticide may be harm for birds which demonstrated in the reading.



So, the contents in the reading passage are totally jeopardized by the speaker and the speaker has totally different ideas on the topics made in the reading.

婷婷connie

4.21 TPO17综合改文
4月21日TPO17



The lecture is mainly discussing that the development of agriculture and pesticide don’t have harm as much as passage says that it leads to the decreasing(decline 尽量和听力保持一致吧) number of birds.

First of all, the speaker thinks that not all kinds of birds cannot living in the city. (再加一点provides better and lager habitats and even more food resources)For example, in lots of urban square, the number of pigeon have a increase tendency. Indeed, there are some hawks living in some city. In contrast, the reading passage believes that area which are suitable for birds to live are decrease. So, the lectures totally disagree with the view made in the reading.

Second, the speaker discusses technology is used intothe producing of agriculture production(on the agricultural crop 这一个细节没有听清楚啊). Less land are used for the agriculture than before in the United States. Contradicting what is stated in the reading that the growth of agriculture will result in the destruction of bird habitats.

Finally, the speakers raises the issue that the new and less toxic pesticide(and pest-resistant crop) are created. It means that birds will not be injured by the pesticide. What’s(What is)more, the biologist also innovated a kind of resistant crop which could reduce the using of pesticide（直接就是pest-resistant crop）. This point disagrees with the point that increase use of chemical pesticide may be harm for birds which demonstrated in the reading.


Ps:喵的细节都听到了，但是表达欠佳，呵呵多看范文吧~

我一般喜欢在开头把阅读和听力的关系写出来，具体有限制吗？

喵喵了个咪

喵喵了个咪

4月24日101210 NA Which do you prefer, finishing one project before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time?

Recently, people have shown an increase interest in promoting the efficiency to of doing work. And there is a question we have to face—finishing one project before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time? In my opinion, I strongly agree with the point that finishing one project at first and then begin another is more effective for our work.

It would be of use to start by an example about Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, develops a theory of the hierarchy of needs, a pyramid depicting the levels of human needs, psychological and physical. In another words, if a person cannot be satisfied with physiological needs—level one—he would not to require the higher level needs. As same as we are discussing, in our daily lives, working need our mind focus on one before starting another, step by step process could improve the quality of our job, and separating attention to two or more projects will receive an opposite result.

At the same time, it is true to say that when people pay all his attention to one thing, there is no need for him to consider other elements to affect him, and some bad accident would not happen. A simple example can prove this simple principle, why so many country forbid make a call when you are driving on the freeway? It is easy to answer this question—because take attention from driving to answer the call may result in a traffic accident. It is same with working in our daily lives.

At the first thought, some opponents might claim that doing many projects would be more quickly. Persuasive as it seems to be, a close analysis would reveal how flimsy it is. If you are really doing lots different kinds of work, you need to change your thought through the interval between two parts of your projects. It may waste lots of your time and energy to get into the groove. This would make your work no efficiency, and getting lower quality than absorb in one project dose.

Taking into account all these factors, we may safely draw the conclusion that finishing one project before starting another is better than doing two or more projects at the same time.

tyyhappy

Recently, people have shown an(an 删去interest 不可数？) increase（increasing） interest in promoting the efficiency to（to 删去） of doing work. And（However, and是个连词，个人认为应该用个介词） there is a question we have to face—finishing one project before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time? In my opinion, I strongly agree with the point that finishing one project at first and then begin(beginning) another is more effective for our work.

It would be of use to start by an example about Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, (who)develops a theory of the hierarchy of needs, a pyramid depicting the levels of human needs, psychological and physical. In another words, if a person cannot be satisfied with physiological needs—level one—he would not to(去掉to) require the higher level needs. As same as we are discussing(改为The same to what we are discussing about更顺畅些), in our daily lives, working need(needs) our mind (to) focus on one before starting another,(and) step by step process could improve the quality of our job, and separating attention to two or more projects will receive an opposite result( 另起一句In addition ,separating to two or more projects will receive an opposite result).

At the same time, it is true to say that when people pay all his attention to one thing, (and )there is no need for him to consider other elements to affect(affecting, to affect 表示去影响) him, and(改为so) some bad accident（accidents） would not happen. A simple example can prove this simple principle, (加上such as) why so many country forbid make a call when you are driving on the freeway? It is easy to answer this question—because take（taking） attention from driving to answer the call may result in a traffic accident. It is same with working in our daily lives.

At the first thought, some opponents might claim that doing many projects would be more quickly. Persuasive as it seems to be, a close analysis would reveal how flimsy it is. If you are really doing lots different kinds of work, you need to change your thought through the interval between two parts of your projects. It may waste lots of your time and energy to get into the groove. This would make your work no（less） efficiency, and getting(get) lower quality than absorb(absorbed) in one project dose(个人认为删去does,应该和would相对应).

Taking into account all these factors（Taking all these factors into account）, we may safely draw the conclusion that finishing one project before starting another is better than doing two or more projects at the same time.

论证用词挺好的,但是经常会有语法错误。

如：句子并列存在，动词形式不正确等。建议：先写小句子，在扩展到大句子。

喵喵了个咪

4月28日110402 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should be more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosing university.

The past decade has witnessed the remarkable changes in that more and more students focused on the fame of professors when they choose university. Is that correct for students to do so? In my country, an offer from a famous school means ability of the person who receive it. This kind of concept may influence many generations of people. None the less, for me, nothing is more evident than that people who achieve his or her self realization is the most success in his or her life.

My main reason, pervasive and persuasive, associates with the point that a person should do what you want to do and make your dream come true. Whatever your education background is, just following the step of your dream, you could have a brilliant future of your development of graduates. An example can strongly support my opinion, as we all known, Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, dropped out the school without get graduated. Because of the belief what he want to create the most convenient machine for people all over the world. He did it without ring of light by any fames college.

At the same time, it should also be emphasized that working in society is absolutely different from studying in school. The employer require staffs have experiences as much as possible rather than how many scores they can get during the term exam. In our country, the government encourage the students begin the career from basic level, then choose the better one they want. That is to say, experience is more significant and efficient than the fame of professors.

At the first thought, some opponents might claim that famous professor can taught the students brilliantly. Persuasive as it seems to be, a close analysis would reveal how flimsy it is. In fact, a professor can teach thousands of students during his or her life, but few of them could be as successful as their teacher. Although you have a famous teacher, you should work hard by your ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Taking into account all these factors, we may safely draw the conclusion that Students should be more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosing university.

每次结尾都写的好短啊···不知道该怎么结尾比较perfect。。。。

易雨水巷

高亮为精彩 红色为错误 蓝色为疑问或建议 绿色为总结

4月28日110402 NADo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should be morefocused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors whenchoosing university.

The past decade has witnessedthe remarkable changes in that more and morestudents focused on the fame of professors when they choose university. Is thatcorrect for students to do so? In my country, an offer from a famous schoolmeans ability of the person who receive(receives) it. This kind of concept may influence many generations of people. None the less(Nonetheless额，这个中间不必隔开), for me, nothing is more evident than that peoplewho achieve his or her self realization is the most success in his or her life.

My main reason, pervasive and persuasive, associates withthe point that aperson should do what youwant to do and makeyour dream come true. (aperson 然后后面用you& your???应当用sheor he & her or his吧) Whatever your education background is, just following the step of yourdream, you could have a brilliant future ofyour development of graduates(恕易雨水巷不知道这个是要表达什么). Anexample can strongly support my opinion,(这句到此结束，后面As另起一句了哦) aswe all known, Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, droppedout the school （有词组若此：drop out of school） without get graduated（without 后面应该不可以直接跟动词词组，换成graduation）.Because of the belief what（what 应该换成that吧） he want to create the most convenient machine for people all over theworld. （because of 不可单独成句，可以与He did it without ring…合在一起）He did it without ring of light by anyfames college.

At the same time, it should also be emphasized that working in society isabsolutely different from studying in school. The employer require（requires）staffs （+to require sb to do）haveexperiences as much as possible rather than how many scores they can get duringthe term exam. In our country, the government encourage the students (+to encourage sb to do) begin the career from basiclevel, then choose the better one they want. That is to say, experience is moresignificant and efficient than the fame of professors.（木有主题句TS，这个最后一句可以作为TS的）

At the first thought, some opponents might claim that famous professor cantaught the students brilliantly. Persuasive as it seems to be, a close analysis would reveal how flimsy it is. In fact, aprofessor can teach thousands of students during his or her life, but few ofthem could be as successful as their teacher. Although you have a famousteacher, you should work hard by your ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Taking into account all these factors, wemay safely draw the conclusion thatStudents (students) should be more focused on thedevelopment of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosinguniversity.

每次结尾都写的好短啊···不知道该怎么结尾比较perfect。。。。

TO 喵喵：1.关于词组的搭配后面貌似喵总是忘了加to
         2.主谓前后搭配一致，也需要注意一下哦
         3.仅限于易雨水巷的个人感觉，这个论据论点提炼的貌似略微有点儿问题╮(╯﹏╰)╭&关于结尾短的问题，认为可将FATORS的要点（TS）抓出来换个说法加进去说出来
4.一些句子啊神马的用的很不错，向喵学习O(∩_∩)O~

喵喵了个咪

谢谢易水小巷童鞋~建议很受用哈~~

喵喵了个咪

今天的作文好难啊，写下来都不知道自己跑题没。。。
4月29日110430 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? We should get to know events happening around the globe even though they do not affect our daily lives.

Recently, lots of big affairs happened all over the world every day. From oversea students are killed to Iraq president was judged. The news rush in our ears by kinds of media. Anyone may says that is none of my business. Why these news spread so broadly from television, internet and newspaper, etc. Nonetheless, for me, nothing is more evident than that it is necessary to know events happening around the globe even though they do not affect our daily lives.

My main reason, pervasive and persuasive, associates with the point that we are the part of this world, and the event which happened far away from you is not to say nothing for you. A air traffic accident can happen in the Japan. It can also crash in your country. If you do not accumulate some experiences for the emergency, you may be nervous and confusing to face it. The 911 events is the most representative accident for this point. Learning a lesson from the past is important for every people. It would be valuable to do a ten thousand percent preparation for the one per ten thousand contingency.

At the same time, it should also be emphasized that getting to know some events happening around the globe can make us following the step with modern time. And absorb the latest knowledge from the researches which are discovered by some famous professor. For example, recently, the public class of Yale university is very popular on the internet. So some students can learn a lot of knowledge from the top university. That is advantage to young people to improve themselves.

At the first thought, some opponents might claim that the events are not happened around them, so the affairs would not affect their daily lives. Persuasive as it seems to be, a close analysis would reveal how flimsy it is. In fact, where the fact happened is just a question of distance. It would not influence how serious it is. Everyone could face some big events in their whole life. So that is to say it is nothing to do with time and location.

Taking into account all these factors, we may safely draw the conclusion that We should get to know events happening around the globe even though they do not affect our daily lives.