2.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to buy a new technological device when it becomes available than to wait until many people have owned it.
No doubt, recently the Apple Company is very hot in Chinese IT market. When a new cell phone—Iphone4s puts into market, the crazy fans will crowd to selling stores, even some ‘honest’ fans come to the selling stores at the evening of last day. Why do the fans so crazy? Because of new technological .However, there is a serious shortage of a new technological device.
To begin with, the low quality of a new technological device is the most serious problems. A new technological device has many problems in a short time. The technology of new products has not yet refined. For example, a new technological cell phone has many problems such as battery, screen or powers off automatically. A company needs time to adjust these problems after a new technological device puts into market. So, in the couple of months, the new technological device doesn’t have a high quality.
Another problem is the high price of these new products. The price of a new technological device contains lots of free of research and development. Generally, the technological device is very high, at least higher than the time when many people have owned it. As a rational man, no one wants to buy a device using much money. It is a better to wait until it reaches a reasonable price.
A subtler problem of needs, I would rather to buy a device when I need it, not just it is a new technological device. Practically, I feel more enjoyable when the new device really meets my need. If you buy a new technological device without fully use able, that you waste money and source.
In conclusion, before buying a new technological device we have better to think over whether I need it and wait more evaluation to come out.
As a Chinese proverb saying（says，不然没谓语了）， Gold （god）cannot be pure and man cannot be perfect. That means everyone makes mistakes, including children.Just as the statement, parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them earn from (earn some money，learn是不更好？)their own mistakes.
First of all, allowing children to make mistakes will let them grow up （+and realize？grow up vi）what is life experience. It is no doubt that making mistakes is a method to understand the novel world for the fledging. Children are inevitable that they make mistakes due to they know little about everything（？）.However（however是转折，用顺承therefore，thus，hence，for that reason，consequently）, parents should allow their children to make mistakes and （双主语，应该是病句，and后加个逗号就ok了）children do learn some experiences. Next time children could try their best to avoid making the same mistakes when they face the same situation, then parents achieve their purpose of educating the babies（baby是婴儿啊，太小了点）.
Besides, if parents blame their children when they make mistakes, this behavior will exert profound bad impact on the healthy growth of their children especially in their mental development. As we all know that the mentality and psyche of children is （are，google过了） very fragile that once hurts（be hurted）, it will take a long time to recover, （句号）So if children are blamed after they make mistakes, they will probably be afraid of the issue when they need to face it again. For example, the blame from their parents when children learn to cook a dish and make a mistake of breaking a dish would probably make children retreat, otherwise children may afraid when they see a (看见菜就恐惧么？)dish in the future.（otherwise是表转折滴，retreat和be afraid不是对立的吧。For example, a blame from their parents for making a mistake when they are learning to cook a dish would probably make them retreat and even be afraid when they see the dish in the future.流畅一些？）
Finally, children who make mistakes and learn from their own mistakes are proved owning better abilities which are very important in their future lives. They make mistakes prove their thinking independently and learn from their own mistakes indicating they can summarize their selves. (语法错误，prove+s，and的前后是并列关系吧，为什么用indicating而前面用think呢？还有prove用词斟酌下)Thinking independently and summarizing experience are such （用so，such important abilities）important that（特指modern加定冠词the） modern society needs（needs what？that不充当句子成分，所以加them，因此这句就很别扭了，改一下 Thinking independently and summarizing experience are so important that they are needed intensely by the modern society)
In conclusion, making mistakes will help the children to better understand the world and grow up quickly. And for(for 引导原因状语最好放到后面) those mistakes that would benefit thechildren, parents should allow them to happen (？）and make the children to（make somebody do something） learn from them all by their selves(themselves).(children是泛指而且为负数所以不加冠词，你看parents都不加the为啥children要加呢？)
楼主对冠词用法和主谓一致不很清楚吧，连接词也用的比较混乱，这些百度一下看看人家的总结
可以好好研究一下tpo的一篇文章，看看他们用什么句式和连接词
内容上是要说 grow up & be afraid& abilities吧，可以适当多加些内容，这样就可以用上楼主渊博的词汇量了
2.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to buy a new technological device when it becomes available than to wait until many people have owned it.
No doubt, recently the Apple Company is very hot in Chinese IT market. When a new cell phone—Iphone4s puts into market, the crazy fans will crowd to selling stores, even some ‘honest’ fans come to the selling stores at the evening of last day. Why do the fans so crazy? Because of new technological .However, there is a serious shortage of a new technological device.（好像跑题了，因为他问的是新技术是否more enjoyable，你回答的是新技术有shortage）
To begin with, the low quality of a new technological device is the most serious problems. A new technological device has many problems in a short time.（due to the limited time）The technology of new products has not yet refined. For example, (some part of the)a new technological cell phone has many problems such as battery, screen or powers off automatically. A company needs time to adjust(solve) these problems after a new technological device puts into market. So, in the couple of months, the new technological device doesn’t have a high quality.
Another problem is the high price of these new products. The price of a new technological device contains lots of free of research and development. (看不懂)Generally, the （price of） technological device is very high, at least higher than the time when many people have owned it.(仪器最少比那个时间高？) As a rational man, no one wants to buy a device using much money(with that much money). It is a better （much better）to wait until it reaches a reasonable price.
A subtler problem of needs, I would rather to buy a device when I need it, not just (simply because ) it is a new technological device. Practically, I feel more enjoyable when the new device really meets my need. If you buy a new technological device without fully use able,that you waste money and source.
In conclusion, before buying a new technological device we have better to think over whether I need it and wait more evaluation to come out.
Do you agree or disagree that children should choose their jobs similar to their parents or not?
As to whether children should choose their jobs similar to their parents, crucially, it is better for childrento choose their jobs similar to their parents. Recently, children are difficult to find jobs in financial crush; however, easy does someone apply for a job on account of similar jobs as their parents. Thus, children must rely on their parents similar.
Parents are the first teachers for their children and have a big influence on their children behavior. Parents’ behavior affects their children containing whose career direction. Children tend to follow the job they touch in everyday life. For instance, my father is a trader of stock market, and I have special interest on finical market. My career is also a trader of stock market. In curtain surroundings, children are found of their parents’ profession, which are the first selected when children grow up.
Indeed, children are easy to find a job and be successes that choose the working the same as their parents. Children can more success when they entry their parents career which children plan to engage in. After I finished university, I found a job as my parents easily. Sever years later; I became success in mydomain. However, my classmates who looked for workings rely on their own interest are still unemployment. So choosing a profession similar to their parents, children can solve the unemployment question.
Furthermore, children choose their jobs similar to their parents can make themselves stronger than those entry new careers. For example, a famous famer in Middlefield, Lyman Orchards, supply apple wine, apple pie and other services. Their family has over 250 years old, and their children also choose the famer as their jobs. Now, they are stronger than those entry new areas.
All the evidence justifies a sound view that it is benefit that children choose their jobs similar to their parents.
可怜的alex~~~我一会要去自习啦~晚上回宿舍给你修改哦，表着急哦 As to whether children should choose their jobs similar to their parents, crucially, it is better for childrento choose their jobs similar to their parents. （此处略感重复~）Recently, children are difficult（这里还是写it is difficult for children比较舒服一点吧） to find jobs in financial crush（crisis？）; however, easy does someone apply for a job on account of（这句没有看懂……是不是easily？后面“由于”逻辑关系是不是不大对？） similar jobs as（to） their parents. Thus, children must rely on their parents similar（similarly）.
Parents are the first teachers for their children and have a big influence on their children（‘s） behavior. Parents’ behavior affects their children containing whose（我不知道为什么要用whose、求交流） career direction. Children tend to follow the job they touch in everyday life. For instance, my father is a trader of stock market, and I have special interest on finical market. My career is also a trader of stock market. In curtain（我猜是certain） surroundings, children are found（fond） of their parents’ profession, which are（will be是不是好一点？） the first selected when children grow up.
Indeed, children are easy to find a job and be successes（？） that choose the working the same as their parents. Children can more success（succeed/be more successful） when they entry（名词、、entered） their parents’ career which children plan to engage in. After I finished university, I found a job as my parents easily.（这里我只是觉得不大对劲，可是不知道该怎么说……a job as my parents应该是the same with my parents' easily？不对请拍啊、我不知道该怎么改了）Sever（several）years later; I became success（came through怎么样？） in mydomain. However, my classmates who looked for workingsrely（relied） on their own interest are still unemployment（unemployed）. So choosing a profession similar to their parents, children can solve the unemployment question（problem比较好~；另外就是我觉得说“解决就业问题”有点大了，换个说法~思考ing。。。）.
Furthermore, children choose their jobs similar to their parents can make themselves stronger than those entry（同上） new careers. For example, a famous famer（farmer） in Middlefield, Lyman Orchards, supply（supplies或supplied）apple wine, apple pie and other services（这里说的不清楚哦、other services related to apple肿么样？）. Their family has over 250 years old（has a history over 250 years）, and their children also choose the famer（to be farmers/ farming）as their jobs. Now, they are stronger than those entry new areas.
All the evidence justifies a sound view that it is benefit that children choose their jobs similar to their parents.
Nowadays, more and more complains complain that the students who graduated from colleges or universities are too immature to fully competent their jobs. Their complaints, as I concerned, medicate that universities or colleges should make more efforts to teach students some skills that will be beneficial to their future life. So, it is the time for colleges to offer subjects to their students. Only do they learn the theories in universities or colleges.
With the increasing fierce competition, interpersonal relationship is critical to every student who enters a society. Today’s students are generally weak in social skills. For example, many students do not know how to use copy machine. If students could know those mummers earlier, they can avoid some unnecessary barriers. Therefore, I believe students should learn basic mummers before them entry to society.
Additionally, students can acquire not only theory but also skills when colleges or universalities combine the theory with real mummers before students are ready to step into companies. For instance, they need to learn how to make presentations perfectly or how to negotiate with customers. I convince that it would be better for students to systematically learn skills form courses, because students can discuss with teachers and learn theories in classes. Through that way, students can combine skills with theory more effectively.
Finally, universities should provide students opportunity to foster their social skill such as teamwork ability or leadership. It is the best way that is to offer relative courses. In the climate of serious competition, the best way to approach certain new projects is to assemble a group of people into a team.
In the view of e factors presented above, universities had better provide some course for students’ further development. After all, the students’ experience in universities is generally not enough for the coming challenges.
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号
发表于 2012-2-26 00:13:38
楼主
我一会要去自习啦~晚上回宿舍给你修改哦，表着急哦
