Argument 78 求拍~~

dengjia

The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution
company with food storage warehouses in several cities.
"Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide
pest control services at our fast-food warehouse in Palm City
, but last month we
discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage.
Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years,
continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth
of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price
charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to
return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate
the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the
argument.



In this argument, the arguer concludes that even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, the best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all the pest control services. In order to justify the conclusion, the arguer makes a comparison between the results of services provided in Palm City
by Fly-Away with the services in Wintervale by Buzzoff. This argument appears reasonable and logical at first glance, however, when considering the process of reasoning, it concludes some critical fallacies.


First of all, the arguer fails to provide persuasive evidences to demonstrate that the larger costs of destroyed food under the control of Fly-Away in Palm city could be decreased by Buzzoff, which the vice president advised to choose. Because specific differences between the Palm and the Wintervale have not been pointed out. What if the pattern of pest in Palm is more harmful than those in Wintervale? Does the ambience in Palm is more unsuitable for proliferating pest? If these factors were totally different, it would be hard to conclude that the quality of services provided by Buzzoff is higher than Fly-Away’s.



In addition, the vice president fails to consider other possible alternatives to the higher costs of the destroyed food caused by pest. Maybe the food in Wintervale could last a longer time and don’t attract pest so much. And as mentioned in the argument, Fly-Away has serviced the food distribution company for a long time, more experience and skills may it owns to control pests. The destroyed food may be the mall proportion of the total food, while the Buzzoff are on the contrary. So choosing Buzzoff may not be a wise decision.



What's more, a period of only one month seems not adequate enough for making a conclusion that the quality of services Buzzoff provided superior to Fly-Away's. Many unstable factors could increase the cost of destroyed food such as the sudden lasting rain, the uncontrolled increase of pest in the whole Palm City
. All the alternative factors should be taken into consideration. And it is possible that there are other superior pest control companies to choose, which provides better services in controlling pest and lower charge. And it is also possible that controlling some certain part of pest is the forte of some company, while the other companies do better in cleaning the warehouse. All the advantages could be used by the food distribution company such as cooperating with these good companies.


To sum up, although the reasoning behind the advices that the best way of saving money for the food distribution company is to choose Buzzoff seems logical, his or her advice mentioned above is not based valid evidence or sound reasoning. In order to improve the quality of conclusion, more persuasive information and statistics of the comparison of Palm City
with Wintervale, food conditions in the respective areas, should be expounded.

jz20000cn

写得很好，well done

lukebrehm

Nicely written.

Here is one important point in writing of many that I think you could work on.

   Language – have you read an essay in the recent past and found that you had to run to your shelf to grab a dictionary, even before the intro was over? Well, if the language is too flowery that is precisely what anybody would have to do. Keep to simple phrases and essay words and try not to complicate matters by making sentences extremely long.

My own side note would be to just pay more attention to the flow of your paper than the words you use, sometimes it is nice to have some cool words but other times it can be confusing for the reader.

dengjia

Thank you very much! As someone said that the thing one wants to show off is the vary one he or she lacks of. I'm often afriad that my words are simple and tidious, my sentences are not long enough to show my control on it, and my ideals are troppy because of the troppy sentences. Maybe just these abnormal ideas waste my time during the 30min.

I think I have know sth, I'll meditate it.Thank you

dengjia

写得很好，well done

-- by 会员 jz20000cn (2012/1/30 21:51:48)

谢谢鼓励，有改进意见就更好了哦 亲·