[心血之作] “掌中的细沙”７周７６０详细操作计划方法

jaja_july

谢谢楼主 有种茅塞顿开的感觉~

Mimi_Beijing

接269楼。再说一下编作文例子的事情。真的不难。

比方说有一篇作文讲要不要听名人的言论。我编了个例子，说明名人不见得懂得多。有个女明星代言婴儿奶粉，但是后来奶粉里有三聚氰胺，她也拿这个给她的小孩吃，知道以后也很吃惊，这个例子说明她并不比一般的妈妈多懂多少。

以三聚氰胺为例，你不知道这个名词melamine，你也可以说poisonous ingredient，如果这个也不会，可以说harmful chemical对吧？这样绝对不模板，又简单。再不济，你可以说，product quality is poor 质量低，对吗？

婴儿奶粉，你不会说infant formular powder, 不会说dairy products, 你就说milk for her baby 也行啊。总之生动多了。

[此贴子已经被作者于2009/9/7 23:42:46编辑过]

deadknot

谢谢Mimi姐啦！就是那些模板把我害的。。。还以为GMAT作文都得这个味儿呢！看了好几个模板，刻意模仿，连例子都不敢举。写了老半天才出一篇文章，可把我给憋坏了！

也奇怪了，看到之前XDF讲的高分作文，还有一些NN们自己写的东西（有可能年代久远了），觉得大多都是这样干巴巴的，模板痕迹很重。我都在怀疑，中国考生要是都这么写作文，阅卷老师不得天天把红桃K补血口服液当饭吃啊？ 有可能这两年不流行这么写了吧！好在有你提醒我，不然作文又要白练了。感谢感谢啊！

[此贴子已经被作者于2009/9/8 0:16:09编辑过]

Mimi_Beijing

以下是引用deadknot在2009/9/8 0:14:00的发言：

谢谢Mimi姐啦！就是那些模板把我害的。。。还以为GMAT作文都得这个味儿呢！看了好几个模板，刻意模仿，连例子都不敢举。写了老半天才出一篇文章，可把我给憋坏了！

也奇怪了，看到之前XDF讲的高分作文，还有一些NN们自己写的东西（有可能年代久远了），觉得大多都是这样干巴巴的，模板痕迹很重。我都在怀疑，中国考生要是都这么写作文，阅卷老师不得天天把红桃K补血口服液当饭吃啊？ 有可能这两年不流行这么写了吧！好在有你提醒我，不然作文又要白练了。感谢感谢啊！

嘿嘿，我来补充一下。

首先，这在于驾驭语言的能力，我们并不擅长用英文把一个复杂的道理说深说透。你看范文里的说理，特别是那些国外的教材，道理写得跟BBC人民日报社论似的，条分缕析，上纲上线。但是我们用英文没有这种能力啊！所以讲一个观点的几个方面的简单道理，是一条捷径。我在260楼举的那几个例子，道理都简单吧。而且我自己的ISSUE只写两个道理。

其次，举例子也是一样的。那些范文往往举很贴切的例子，但都是什么国际新闻里的，动不动有名的大公司、大人物、大历史事件，这咱也不知道，知道咱也用英文说不出来啊。所以我们可以举中国的、生活中的、个人的例子。你看我写的几个例子，都其实特别简单。加上一点个性化的信息，很容易让文章显得colorful、字数又多。比方说我在三聚氯胺例子里写，什么2008夏天年发生、成千上万的婴儿受害、消费者很愤怒、生厂商这样做是为了降低成本等等。

还有一种例子，就是大列举，简直太简单了，用such as...，一下子就增加了文章的说明效力、生动性、个性化（表示你自己在思想）。常用的列举如：such as schools, companies, families, and even nonprofit organizations（社会现象）.      Such as classrooms, libaries, playgrounds or dormitories （学校场景）.     Such as China, India, U.S. and European countries（国家）.     Such as equipment, land, labor and utility costs （讨论经济）. Such as by MSN, skype, facebook, myspace and BBS （讨论互联网、IT）.     Such as General Motor, Wal-mart and Coca-cola （讨论企业）.     Such as swimming, skiing, basket ball and climbing mountains (讨论学校里要不要有体育）    Such as accountant, engineer, lawyer and journalist （讨论职业工作等）。所有文章都绝对可以用这种手法的。

每段的写法：正着第一句，举例，反着说一句/让步一句（Not...if, Even if, concede, Suppose, Imagine)，总结说一句（每段后的短summary）。换种单词、换个角度。

如果你再看144楼和前面某楼我忘记了，就是我把常用句式积累一下，掐时间狂练，就行了。

deadknot

明白了，Mimi姐是想告诉我们，咱还是要心疼一下阅卷老师，别仗着自己备着一大堆鹿茸熊胆的就给咱老师们下猛药，人吃多了也会流鼻血的。

又赶上教师节，为了不让老师们再去顶着高胆固醇食品的枪林弹雨，各位童鞋们还是多准备几道清淡点的家常小菜，一来做自己最拿手的菜才能发挥出最好的水平，二来品菜的人也觉得亲切不至于有望而生畏的感觉。

deadknot

这两天都在练习数学，直到今天才有机会再练一篇作文。我选了一篇环保题材的，正好最近看了不少环保题材的纪录片，肚子里自觉有些戏码，也举了一些例子。分了两个论点来写的。Mimi姐，不知道这样写是否合格？

题目：“It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.”
                

What will be the effective and necessary approach to conserve the world’s energy resources? The issue at hand is truly complex and controversial one. On one hand, as is well-known and has been advocated, the inernational leadership and cooperations is necessary. On the other hand, however, other prople may insist that individual nations should make sacrifice independently as well. The author shows strong preference to the former opinion based on the understanding that it would be too challenging for individual nations to make such sacrifice.

立论一：（当支持前者时使用）
   I strongly agree with the author by recognizing the much more impacts that the international leadership and worldwide cooperation can achieve than the individual countries do.
    

立论二：（当两者都支持时使用）From my personal perspective, I would say both of the efforts from individual nations and worldwide cooperations are essential to conserve energy.

论据一：（都可以用）The primary reason for me to advocate the international coorperations is the problem of uneven distribution. There’s an old saying that the world is round. But as we all know, the world’s deposits of energy resources are not evenly distributed to every part of the earth. Because of the uneven distribution of the world’s resources, there is not a single country in the world that is entirely self-sufficient. Thus, every country has to rely on other countries while being relied on by others for different energy resources. This fact along with different economic levels that exist in different countries,  has made the problem of energy resourses more intricate. For example, Nigeria is the biggest oil export country in Africa, and yet 70% of the population lives under the poverty line. The same is true all over the globe: half the world’s poor live in resource-rich countries. Like many other major oil export countries, Nigeria does not consume so much oil, but it provides energy to millions of vehicles all around the world. Can we expect the countries like Nigeria will solve the problem independently? Obviously not, at least those major oil consume countries like The US and China should involve in those conservation plans and give support to poor countries.
   Consequently, the international cooperation will be definitely important.

论据二：（支持论点一的时候使用）In the second place, conserving one kind of energy resource has to be complemented with exploring another renewable new energy. But exploring new energy is a complex work that needs huge amount of financial, technical and social resources. For example, the lately built wind farms off the Denmark that produce 20% of the country’s electricity, is funded by several countries, such as The US, China, India, Germany and spain… For my informations, these huge investments in renewable energy have already created over 2.5 million jobs in the world. And only with the help of these new technologies, countries will have more solid foundation to literally solve the resources problems. Conspicuously, without worlwide cooperations, these plans will never be accomplished.

论据三：（支持论点二的时候使用）But even the smallest country should not to ignore the individual efforts of conserving resources from every country itself, as most of the imortant natural energy resources are unrenewable. Each government has to act more positive and effective to protect their own resources from overexploitations. For example, the forests in South Korea have been devastated by war. But by implementing their national reforestation program, they once more cover 65% of the country. More than 75% of paper is recycled. Furthermore, it is not only the governments that should face and resolve the prolems of energy, but also each one of us as a human being should fight this problem. Because we are the people that cosume energies and we have the right to be a wiser consumer. If only we can reduce our fossil energy consumptions, economize on our daily resources, and choose energy efficient appliance, the chances for conserving energy resources will be much greater.

结论一：（支持论点一的时候使用）To summarize my opinion based on the above reasons, we may safely arrive in the conclusion that the approach of international leadership and cooperation is much more preferable. And it is not just a personal assumption, it is what the whole world is doing now. Most of the countries in the world have ratified the Kyoto Protocol to form a united nation framework convention on environmental protection.

结论二：（支持论点二的时候使用）To summarize my opinion based on the above reasons, we may safely arrive in the conclusion that the efforts from international cooperations and independent countries are equally important for conserving the energy resources.

[此贴子已经被作者于2009/9/12 1:12:28编辑过]

llacat

请问mimi姐，你做的PREP笔记是不是151题那个版本的？我下的所谓的320题版本，里面还有169道没有解释啊……是不是我下错了？被这几个版本弄得有点晕，想下周开练PREP的…所以想先问问你呢~！

deadknot

以下是引用llacat在2009/9/12 9:51:00的发言：
请问mimi姐，你做的PREP笔记是不是151题那个版本的？我下的所谓的320题版本，里面还有169道没有解释啊……是不是我下错了？被这几个版本弄得有点晕，想下周开练PREP的…所以想先问问你呢~！

旧版PREP语法笔记的确是只有151题，剩下的169应该是新版的PREP，这里暂时没看到过笔记。

llacat

汗死……刚发现是自己没拉完页数，在151题前面还有个169题……还以为是我下错了呢，做题去了

Mimi_Beijing

以下是引用deadknot在2009/9/12 0:53:00的发言：

这两天都在练习数学，直到今天才有机会再练一篇作文。我选了一篇环保题材的，正好最近看了不少环保题材的纪录片，肚子里自觉有些戏码，也举了一些例子。分了两个论点来写的。Mimi姐，不知道这样写是否合格？

先说两个建议。第一，不要“挑选”一篇题材，你要训练临场马上能胡诌两个理由的能力。在有了基本模板以后，就从黄金80或本次机经中一道一道练习（不许自己挑题目），30分钟，写不出来也要硬着头皮写（因为考场上也很有可能有这样的情况）。然后再慢慢地花时间改进。我给你们看的例文都是我30分钟内写的，最多后面小修小改了10%。一定要掐时间。

如果你发现自己构思部分很花时间，那你事先就把黄金80的题目都看一遍，想2个理由出来。对于你实在想不出写什么的理由（例如有些文化历史艺术科技的题目），上网google一下别人的作文，给自己点启发。

第二，不要想多种形式的模板。只有两种形式，第一种是两个观点你只支持一个（最多让步一下），另一种是两个观点各有利弊，你的观点是互补互利。这两种的模板句子与作文结构会很不同。要知道观点本身不重要，重要的是你是否能充分支持说明你的观点。所以请坚持写一种，永元只支持一种观点，或者永远两个观点都支持，练到手熟。考试现场不假思索地就按照自己的套路写。

[此贴子已经被作者于2009/9/13 16:44:20编辑过]