[求助]作文求改..28号要考试了..在写作专区晾了一天没人理..

garinlam

131. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is always a hot debate on how to judge whether a man is successful or not. Some people hold the opinion that the amount of money a person earned represents his success, while some other believe that money is not the only thing that demonstrates how successful a man really is. As far as I concerned, I approve the latter opinion that success is not only a matter of money. Here comes my reasons.

The first reason is that money is not the only point to evaluate one’s success. The great black leader, Martin Luther King Jr, is one of the most significant person during the last century. He successfully led his fellow Negros to fight for their civil rights which are deprived by the government out of discrimination. His well-known speech --“I have a dream” deeply impressed any one of us. There is no denial that he is a successful and great man, however his success is revealed by his leadership and his determination to pursue justice and freedom, but not by how much money he earned. This is also ture to Olympic athletes. Practicing very hard everyday, they did this not for money but for the glory of their country, and they are undoubtly successful heros. That why we can’t only consider riches are successful.

Moreover, having lots of money doesn’t mean someone is successful. Some riches obtain their property throught inheirtance, so it just means that their fathers maybe successful but not themselves. However, if someone earned a not small amount money from nothing, they are thought to be more successful than those heirs. This is another reason why we can’t use money to judge someone’s success.

Last but not least, a successful man must be beneficial to the society. As for the drug sellers, they obtained a great deal of money by selling drugs and doing crimes, although he has a lot of money, can we consider him as a success? Of course not, or at least I don’t think so. In my opinion, a successful man must contribute to our society, and those drug sellers don’t fit this criterion.

According to all my illustration above, I can easily conclude it’s false that only people who earn a lot of money are successful.

第一次把文章贴上来,希望能知道自己的水平到那里,希望大家能给个评价..

上次T作文才20分..大伤自尊吖..

先谢谢大家了..

winterain

我很想帮忙，但是我上次也才20分，所以就不好意思帮你改了，实在是实力不够啊。期待牛牛的出现吧。

zyj1203

不错～～～

garinlam

谢谢各位帮助..等待中

northy

我是不知自己底贴作文的另一个，你有收到回复而且至少你考过一次了，我每次独立写作自己练的时候时间都是来不及的，哎……

sweetangel

（我的看法）

1.语法错误和用词问题较为显著，建议可以多读些英文novel,多多practice^^

2.有些表达不够地道，太过Chinglish

3.the content is not quite well-established and more detailed evidence are required.

8过呢，就像楼上那位筒子说的一样，结构不错，选材也不错！多多加油，楼主会成功的！！

ps.此时虽然已经过了lz的考试日，但是我依然祝福你将会取得满意的成绩