[求助]7.14独立写作:news from tv or newspaper 欢迎跟帖互拍

nevertheless

Do you agree or disagree：If you want to know some world events, you'd better read newspapers, because the television news doesn’t have enough information.

 

 On the morning just after AC Milan team held the European Champion Cup, I was waiting in front of TV for the news. Then the sports news on television broadcasted the fascinating moments when super Pippo kicked two goals! Thanks to the television, I could share the happiness and satisfaction with the champion. I undoubtedly prefer to know news from television rather than from newspaper.

 

The threshold reason why I would like to gain information from television lies in its vivid demonstration of news. Television news is a combination of videos and voices besides words and images, which provide viewers various aspects of news. On the contrary, newspaper is mostly composed of articles and images, both of which are not so telling as television news. One minutes of video is more than a thousand words. Thus, newspaper is my primary choice to get access to world events.

 

In addition, information from newspaper has some drawbacks that render them not so convincing or persuading. As an old motto goes, "any language is a conspiracy against experiences", the truth of events might be affected by newspaper reporters' personal perspective to some extent. There are a variety of examples about how newspapers exaggerate the facts by unfairly retelling the story. Although audio bites exist in television news as well, it is not so severe than "false news" in newspaper. In contrast, videos are self-explanatory-they often reveal adequate truth to audiences.

 

Furthermore, compared with television, newspapers are less instantaneous. With the quickened tempo of modern world, the most up-to-minute information is the most attractive. From this point of view, most daily-published newspapers are incomparable with television news that are broadcasted every second on the scroll bar beneath the screen. For instance, I can easily know what happened in the Hong Kong stock market instantly from the television; but it is amusing if I merely rely on newspaper to get news about it.

 

All in all, television has become an indispensable part of my life in providing news all over the world. Its news is relatively more vivid, instant and sound than that from newspaper.

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-19 19:16:57编辑过]

德克的猪

On the morning just after AC Milan team held the European Champion Cup, I was waiting in front of TV for the news. It was 6:00 with no newspapers selling(提供暗示). Then the timely(及时有效的) sports news on television broadcasted the fascinating moments when super Pippo kicked two goals! Thanks to the television, I, as a fervent fan of AC Milan, could share the happiness and satisfaction with the champion. And of course, I undoubtedly(这个词在表示个人观点的时候最好不用) prefer to know news from television rather than from newspaper.(开头用了场景描写,很好.新颖别致.但是你的开头应该为后文更好的服务,所以,你就给你添加了一些和后文有照应的词汇.以后用场景描写,你在描写中一定要有提示性的语言,暗示你的观点,不然效果就没有那么好了.)

 

The threshold reason why I would like to gain information from television lies in its vivid demonstration of news. Television news is a combination(每当提到combination的时候,我都喜欢用marriage来替换,因为更生动.如果你要说一个东西结合得很失败,就是unsuccessful marriage,如果是结合得好,就是great marriage) of videos and voices(video最好和audio对应) besides words and images, which provide viewers various aspects of news-viewers can not only get informed but also receive live videos of different events hence a better appreciation of the news. On the contrary, newspaper is mostly composed of articles and images, both of which are not so telling as television news (添加一句:As a matter of fact, newspapers always waste a massive number of words to describe a scene, and unfortunately, frequently fail to recreate it in readers’ brains. And TV have never experienced embarrassment of this sort.). One minutes(Therefore, one minute) of video is more than a thousand words(can convey more than a thousand words.). Thus, newspaper is my primary choice to get access to world events.(注意我给你添加的部分,你以后写作的时候,同样需要那些类似的解释说明来使你的文章有力,有内容.)

 

In addition, information from newspaper has some drawbacks that render them not so convincing or persuading. As an old motto goes, "any language is a conspiracy against experiences", the truth of events might be affected by newspaper reporters' personal perspective to some extent. There are a variety of examples about how newspapers exaggerate the facts by unfairly retelling the story. Although audio bites exist in television news as well, it is not so severe than "false news" in newspaper. In contrast, videos are self-explanatory-they often reveal adequate truth to audiences.(这段写得相当有水平)

 

Furthermore, compared with television, newspapers are less instantaneous. With the quickened tempo of modern world, the most up-to-minute information is the most attractive. From this point of view, most daily-published newspapers are incomparable with television news that is broadcasted every second on the scroll bar beneath the screen. For instance, I can easily know what happened in the Hong Kong stock market instantly from the television; but it is amusing if I merely rely on newspaper to get news about it.(这段有很有说服力)

 

All in all, television has become an indispensable part of my life in providing news all over the world. Its news is relatively more vivid, instant and sound than that from newspaper.

 

整篇文章是写得很好的,词汇丰富,表达准确,流畅.没有给我带来任何的阅读障碍.把我给你提出的那些小问题注意一下,就接近完美了.后面两个理由写得尤其的好,值得大家借鉴.

德克的猪

我就喜欢这样的文章，写得好，我不用大动干戈，而且改起来没有阅读障碍，很爽的说。

nevertheless

非常感谢德克的指点~~~!!

nevertheless

请教一下,a marriage of...如果后边跟多个名词,也可以用是吗.谢谢!!!

德克的猪

a marriage of A and B

当然只有2个人结婚

nevertheless

谢谢版主！

a combination of videos and audios besides words and images-->

a marriage of videos and audios besides words and images

是不是不太适合？

德克的猪

其实就说a great marriage of videos and audios就可以了

黑夜黑眼圈

挑个小错，audience是不可数名词，不能加复数。

德克的猪

以下是引用黑夜黑眼圈在2007-7-24 15:16:00的发言：

挑个小错，audience是不可数名词，不能加复数。

audience是可数名词