[讨论]小强写作组, 互拍进行中...(9楼有得克猪的精华,还在添加中...)

AllenTing

这是昨天写的，用了不少例子，据说作文personalized和specific些的比较受欢迎。不过写的过程中真的感觉到词汇量匮乏的痛苦

91. If you could ask a famous person one question, what would you ask? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

If given to me a chance to raise a question to a famous person in my major,my question will nodoubtedly be:What's the key to achieve success from your opinion? According to this question, I know what is the most important quality to succeed;Also,it offers me valuable experience from those successful persons;furthermore,I can get a lot of useful advice for success.

The intention of asking that question derives from my personality.I am full of energy and passion,and always trying to seek success.For me, it's success in my career that attracts me to study,work and even try to take TOEFL&GRE exams for studying aboard.Just think when you are successful in your career and get sufficient respect and honor from your colleages,what a fantastic feeling it is!So I am eager to seize every chance to ask those famous people and learn those quality necessary for success.

Furthermore,the answers to that question will give me numerous,valuable and even vital experience.The experience from those famous people generally are specific and can tell me a lot of stories which may be largely familiar to me.From Albert Einstein,I know the answer to success is the famous equation that success equals 1% intelligence and 99% hardwork;From Vint Cerf,honored as "Father of the Internet",I know the answer is respect:No matter who you are talking to,you should always be patient and respectful for what he/she says or does,as it's possible that you can learn something new from everyone.Besides,I maybe experience lots of situations which are similar to the one that those famous people have.Therefore,the experience or stories famous people have will certainly benefit me and give me valuable references such as how to solve a hard problem or how to do an effective communication.In some degrees,they act like teachers,help me achieve success correctly and effectively.

Last but not least,I could get lots of advice from the answer to success made by famous people.For instance,if there is an opportunity for me to open up a company,I can obtain much useful advice from those successful businessmen who have already owned a company.Probably they could tell me what I should do or not do which can avoid me doing something wrong as much as possible.On the other side,if no advice is provided,I have to do all the affairs on my own judgements some of which may be unsuitable or harmful to my business.

As a conclusion,asking famous people that the key to success will obviously provide me what the quality I should have for success is,expericence or stories that are helpful to me and lots of advice for me to follow.With the help of those famous people,I will attain success effectively and confidently.

德克的猪

LS的同学

可以先看看我的那个写作的帖子

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-6-24 21:10:56编辑过]

roseyx0915

这里是个好地方!!!ｄｉｎｇ　ｄｉｎｇ

totyj5

顶一下

ferautillo

有个小小的想法，拿出来分享下~

我在上XDF的课时，老师把TWE185给分类总结了，分成了大概有10多个专题吧，是不是可以每周一个专题，然后大家都写这个专题下的文章，最后一起互改一起借鉴？

觉得这样貌似更有针对性哈~

alexwithibt

以下是引用totyj5在2007-6-23 22:16:00的发言：

 

这是我写的关于该不该在neighborhood 建工厂。请给位大牛不吝赐教

Suppose you return home after a long vacation and find a new
factory erected behind your back garden producing dreadful smells and making
noises all day long, what will your first reaction to this be? I bet say, if
you are not the owner of the factory, it will be to tear it down.

 

 

 

I definitely agree that no factories should be built in a neighborhood.
Because a neighborhood is a place where a large number of people reside, which
determines that it should be an area of serenity and pleasant environment. But
a factory just spoils all of that: it gives out waste gases, produces annoying
noises…In a word, anything related to factory can drive you mad. It is certain
that you will lead a bitter life with a factory in your neighborhood, for the
pollutions caused by it might be vital. There are many examples vindicating
this. In postwar Japan,
people living near factories suffered greatly during the series of industrial
pollutions. They caught strange diseases, had children of deformation, and so
on. So a factory in your neighborhood costs you more than the peaceful
atmosphere, it will also trigger unexpected health problems inside you.

 

 

 

The owner of the factory may argue that he or she can make
profits via the production of the factory, which will in turn be beneficial to
the neighborhood. But I’d suggest the owner move to the outskirt of the town,
not only because he or she may have more land to utilize, but also because the
renting rate there is much lower, which is known to all businessmen. Further
more, what the residents consider as a real benefit will be a quite and
beautiful surrounding. They will be grateful if they can set their sweet home in
a place salutary both mentally and physically.

 

 

 

If unfortunately, what I stated at the beginning really
happens, I’d suggest that either you or the factory move. It is as ridiculous
to set a factory in a neighborhood as to run a nightclub in a high school. A
factory and a neighborhood should be on two parallel rails, and never come
across with each other.

我水平真的很有限.咱们就在互拍中一起学习提高吧.

这是我改的.你再看看.有不妥之处,我们再一起讨论.

I definitely agree that no factories should be built in a neighborhood. Because a neighborhood is a place where a large number of people reside, which determines that it should be an area of serenity and pleasant environment. (Because a neighborhood is the place where a large number of people reside, clean, peaceful and pleasant environment is must) But a factory just spoils all of that(On the other hand, a factory spoils
                all kinds of toxic materials): it gives out waste gases, produces annoying noises…In a word, anything related to factory can drive you mad. It is certain that you will lead a bitter life with a factory in your neighborhood, for the pollutions caused by it might be vital. (It is certain that you endure a bitter life with a factory in your neighborhood, paying your life shortage and bad healthy for the pollutions) There are many examples vindicating
                this. In postwar Japan, people living near factories suffered greatly during the series of industrial pollutions. They caught strange diseases, had children of deformation, and so on. So a factory in your neighborhood costs you more than the peaceful atmosphere, it will also trigger unexpected health problems inside you.

 

 

 

The owner of the factory may argue that he or she can make profits via the production of the factory, which will in turn be beneficial to the neighborhood. But I’d suggest the owner move to the
                outskirt of the town, not only because he or she may have more land to utilize, but also because the renting
                rate
                (fee) there is much lower, which is known to all businessmen. (我觉得这里的例子不是很充份.要我写,我会这么写, I confess it is true. On the other hand, what a factory brings to our neighborhood is merely short benefits, but our neighborhood will pay our non-regenerating resources, our environments. Viewing from this perspective, I would rather refuse building a factory in our neighborhood.) Further more, what the residents consider as a real benefit will be a quite and beautiful surrounding. They will be grateful if they can set their sweet home in a place salutary both mentally and physically.

alexwithibt

以下是引用ferautillo在2007-6-24 22:11:00的发言：

有个小小的想法，拿出来分享下~

我在上XDF的课时，老师把TWE185给分类总结了，分成了大概有10多个专题吧，是不是可以每周一个专题，然后大家都写这个专题下的文章，最后一起互改一起借鉴？

觉得这样貌似更有针对性哈~

我觉得可以.

还有就是现在的IBT好象不都是185里面的了.有新的.从最进这几个月考的来看.

不过题型还是固定的.都是agree/disagree题型. 这些在185里面不是很多.也就50篇吧.

我们可在有针对性的练

德克的猪

以下是引用AllenTing在2007-6-24 0:16:00的发言：

这是昨天写的，用了不少例子，据说作文personalized和specific些的比较受欢迎。不过写的过程中真的感觉到词汇量匮乏的痛苦

91. If you could ask a famous person one question, what would you ask? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

If given to me a chance to raise a question to a famous person in my major,my question will nodoubtedly be:What's the key to achieve success from your opinion? According to this question, I know what is the most important quality to succeed;Also,it offers me valuable experience from those successful persons;furthermore,I can get a lot of useful advice for success.

The intention of asking that question derives from my personality.I am full of energy and passion,and always trying to seek success.For me, it's success in my career that attracts me to study,work and even try to take TOEFL&GRE exams for studying aboard.Just think when you are successful in your career and get sufficient respect and honor from your colleages,what a fantastic feeling it is!So I am eager to seize every chance to ask those famous people and learn those quality necessary for success.

Furthermore,the answers to that question will give me numerous,valuable and even vital experience.The experience from those famous people generally are specific and can tell me a lot of stories which may be largely familiar to me.From Albert Einstein,I know the answer to success is the famous equation that success equals 1% intelligence and 99% hardwork;From Vint Cerf,honored as "Father of the Internet",I know the answer is respect:No matter who you are talking to,you should always be patient and respectful for what he/she says or does,as it's possible that you can learn something new from everyone.Besides,I maybe experience lots of situations which are similar to the one that those famous people have.Therefore,the experience or stories famous people have will certainly benefit me and give me valuable references such as how to solve a hard problem or how to do an effective communication.In some degrees,they act like teachers,help me achieve success correctly and effectively.

Last but not least,I could get lots of advice from the answer to success made by famous people.For instance,if there is an opportunity for me to open up a company,I can obtain much useful advice from those successful businessmen who have already owned a company.Probably they could tell me what I should do or not do which can avoid me doing something wrong as much as possible.On the other side,if no advice is provided,I have to do all the affairs on my own judgements some of which may be unsuitable or harmful to my business.

As a conclusion,asking famous people that the key to success will obviously provide me what the quality I should have for success is,expericence or stories that are helpful to me and lots of advice for me to follow.With the help of those famous people,I will attain success effectively and confidently.

发文前请先用word文档纠错

逗号和句号后面是要加空格的

淡水湖

好贴顶起来！~~~：）我水平菜鸟，先借鉴各位大牛和小牛们的经验。

德克的猪

回11楼

If given to me(罗唆了,这里一个given a chance就可以了) a chance to raise a question to a famous person in my major, my question will nodoubtedly(undoubtedly,我不想纠错) be: What's(What is) the key to achieve success from your opinion? According to this question, I (will) know what is the most important quality to succeed; Also, it offers me valuable experience from those successful persons(people); furthermore, I can get a lot of useful advice for success(第一段写得也太简单了点,不容易赢得好印象).(What, a multitude of people including me may wonder, is the key to success-pondering such a question, if given a chance to meet a famous and successful person, I would like to ask: what, from his/her perspective, has made them so preeminent.)

The intention of asking that question derives from my personality. I am full of energy and passion, and always trying(try) to seek success. For me, it's(it is) success in my career that attracts(stimulates) me to study, work(it is the my craving for success that stimulates me to keep improving my abilities in study and work) and even try(避免重复,strive) to take TOEFL&GRE(就写GRE就可以了,因为TOEFL和GRE难度差异太大) exams(tests) for studying(in order to obtain a chance to study aboard) aboard. Just think when you are successful in your career and get sufficient respect and honor from your colleages(workmates), what a fantastic feeling it is!(感叹句,少用,感觉很低级) So I am eager to seize every chance to ask those famous people and learn those quality(复数) necessary for success.(如果时间够,写这段是可以的.但是如果时间不够,这段是可以省略的)